Women
Menopause : Coping With The Transition

Menopause, a universal reproductive phenomenon is of great concern to many women as they advance in age. This is as a result of insufficient knowledge and understanding and lack of available information to assist them and their families during the period of transition. Menopause is the natural and inevitable part of a woman’s life. It is the end of a women’s menstrual cycle which inevitably marks the end of her reproductive years.
Naturally, women are born with all their eggs, which are stored in their ovaries. Their ovaries also make the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which control their period (menstruation) and the release of eggs (ovulation). Menopause happens when the ovaries no longer release eggs every month, leading to the stoppage of menstruation. Menopause is a regular part of aging when it happens after the age of 40.
However,some women can go through menopause early. This could be as a result of surgery or damage of their ovaries during cancer treatments and is known as premature menopause.
According to studies natural menopause is different in each woman and comes in three stages. Perimenopause is the first stage which usually begins several years before menopause, the ovaries slowly make less estrogen and at this point stop releasing eggs. Many women at this stage start experiencing menopause symptoms. Menopause is the second stage. This is one year after the menstruation has stopped. The ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and making most of their estrogen. Postmenopause, the third and final stage happens years after menopause. Menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes usually ease. But health risks related to the loss of estrogen increase as women get older.
In a medically reviewed study by Dr Gabriela Pichardo in June, 2022,she revealed that, most women nearing menopause would begin experiencing some array of what are called Vasomotor symptoms (VMS). The most common is hot flashes, sudden feelings of warmth that spread over the upper body, often with blushing and sweating. These flashes can range from being mild in most women to severe in others.
Dr Pichardo added that, women may also notice uneven or missed periods, vagina dryness,sore breasts, leading to more frequent urination, lack of sleep, emotional changes, dry skin, eyes and mouth. Other symptoms which develop later include, fatigue, depression, crankiness, racing heart, headaches, joint and muscle aches and pains, weight gain, hair loss and changes in sex drive.
Other symptoms according to other researchers include facial hair increase, being angry /agitated /impatient or abusive, being teary or crying for no reason, reduced or enlarged breasts size, burning feet on “fire”, dizziness, increased appetite, leg cramps and restless legs, low self -esteem,” going crazy”, anxiety, poor memory, dyspareumia, post – menopausal bleeding and lack of energy.
Reports indicate that the most prospective mean age of menopause for women in the United States is 52 years. These ages stand in contrast to the mean ages for menopause of 51 years for United Kingdom, 50 years for China,50 years for Japan,48 years for Nigeria, 47 years for Pakistan, 45 years for India and 44 years in the Philippines.
Reports also have it that there are particular cultural beliefs which impact on women’s understanding and reactions to menopause. Widespread in a belief that sexual intercourse would no longer be possible after menopause. That menstrual periods are considered to cleanse the body of semen. If women have intercourse after menopause it is believed that semen will remain in the body and produce stomach bloating and then death.
Consequently, lack of knowledge about menopause made some women misinterpret symptoms as signs of serious illness .
In different interviews with The Tide in Port Harcourt, some women in their 50s expressed their experiences concerning menopausal symptoms.
“I am 53 years old and Iam just experiencing menopausal symptoms. My period is irregular. I feel heat most times all over my body which makes me uncomfortable and at times extreme cold and then few minutes later heat again. I discussed it with some people, they said it was menopause, that it is a phase that will pass”, said a civil servant resident in D/Line area of Port Harcourt.
Another respondent, a teacher in a government secondary school in Iwofe area of Port Harcourt, Rivers State shared her experience.
“I know about menopause, so when I started experiencing the symptoms, I went to see a doctor to confirm. I was 45 years then and just had my last twin children. I experienced hot flashes from head to toe, hotness of body, restlessness, constant sweating like Iam pregnant, fever, body pains, irregular periods,low sex drive, eating different things like “esu” (nature chalk). Infact, I felt like I ate poison and needed cure. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed as adinomyosis and was given drugs.
Sharing similar experiences,another respondent, an estate surveyor based in Port Harcourt stated thus:
“I started experiencing menopause symptoms at 44 years. I did not understand my body at first . I thought I was going crazy. I experienced lack of concentration, restlessness, distractions, mild hot flashes, waist pain, increased stomach, weak teeth and bones, weaker eye sight, lack of interest in sex. Infact, I did not believe what was happening to me. I had to discuss the situation with an older woman who told me that it was menopause”.
Also, a staff in one of the media organisations in Rivers State told The Tide that:
“I noticed the symptoms at 47 years old, with hot flashes, especially in my breast area, hotness of body sometimes and cold shivers often times, low energy, infact holding a bottle of water was a problem, body pains, irregular periods, large appetite, fainting experiences, dizziness and vaginal dryness. I did not understand that it was menopause”.
The management and treatment of menopausal symptoms depend on each individual woman’s experiences. Studies have it that healthy living, herbal and complementary therapies are the solutions.
However, many women can cope with mild menopausal symptoms and do not need to take any medications or use therapies. Some women may manage their symptoms well with lifestyle measures such as eating well and getting regular physical activity. Other women with symptoms that are affecting their quality of life will need to seek treatment to help them manage their symptoms.
Menopause is a unique experience for all women, and a range of management options are available for the different symptoms including healthy living, menopausal hormone therapy or MHT, treatments to manage vaginal dryness. Non – hormonal prescription medications and complementary therapies. Though some treatments are well supported by valid scientific research, it is important and advisable to see a doctor before you start a treatment.
Coping with menopausal symptoms can be helped by balanced and nutritional diet, exercise and relaxation. Healthy weight is important though some studies have suggested that exercise can reduce hot flashes. Women should reduce intake of caffeine, alcohol and spicy foods, stop smoking. Rather, they should eat foods with phytoestrogens such as whole bean soy products, whole grains barley, brown rice), legumes (beans). To manage hot flashes, carry small hand fans, use water facial spray, have cool drinks available, wear layers of clothing so you can take off what you need to when you are hot. Meanwhile, reports have it that many women suggested that more information should be made available on menopause to prepare women, educate family members and help reduce negative connotations and family conflict, especially with their spouses during the period of transition, since experiences by many women had it that a loss of libido was often misinterpreted by their partners that they were having an affair.
Also, information should be passed on by mothers and grannies to daughters.
It is therefore, suggested that community education may have more benefit if directed towards men as well as women.
Also reported are, that most health workers, especially in developing countries lack adequate resources or understanding on how to approach the topic or give appropriate advice to women.
A Rivers State Government Matron/Nurse in an interview stated that she has worked as a nurse with the primary health care management board for several years, there are no such programmes for women on menopause.
According to her, “basically we deal with women on child bearing age, the partners we work with have not come out with such programmes. However, government should partner with menopause associations to help women in the state,” she said.
In a related interview, a medical doctor who works in a government hospital in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, stated that in developed countries government encourages women to go for regular check of their reproductive system at least once a year, free of charge or some on discounts . In Nigeria, a lot of women are not aware of the transition to menopause and its implications, because they are nonchalant about their health status. The doctors are overstressed and cannot help in giving talks to women about menopause at every given opportunity. Another worrisome issue is that, some women lie about their age, some even take ten years off their normal age, which is a problem.
However, since 2009, the International Menopause Society (IMS) in collaboration with the World Health Organisation(WHO) has designated October 18 every year to be celebrated as World Menopause Awareness Day. The purpose of the day is to raise awareness of menopause and support options available for improving health and well-being of women as they age.
This is an opportunity for the Rivers State Ministry of Health and the Women Affairs counterpart to partner with relevant associations and groups to sensitise women in the urban and rural areas in the aspect of understanding menopause, its attributes, symptoms, management and healthy ageing.
By: Ibinabo Ogolo
Women
Justice Prevails Over Osinachi’s Death
Unfortunately, the widower of the late gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja.
The husband of the deceased, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu, was sentenced to death by Justice Njideka Nwosu-Iheme.
The Federal High Court Judge, reports say, found Mr Peter Nwachukwu guilty of culpable homicide leading to the death of his wife, Osinachi, which occurred on April 8, 2022.
The ruling on the death of Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, deserves a big clap for the Nigerian Judiciary because of the high rate of domestic violence on women in the society.
This, I believe will serve as a deterrent to others now and in the future.
Lessons learned from her death are numerous, girls and women especially must be able to distinguish between oppression and submission. A woman has to be heard before she dies.
According to reports, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja. How will the children feel? What about the Nwachukwu family?
Ordinary people like us may not be able to judge but the judiciary has finally done justice to late Osinachi’s case.
Time has come when families have to start checking out on their kinsmen concerning marital affairs. Families who give out their daughters and sisters in marriage need to do a follow-up from time to time, to ensure they are comfortable. This does not mean total control in anyway.
Everybody is born of a woman, who is someone’s sister, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, niece, aunt and so on. Like the saying, “rain does not fall on one person’s roof”.
Women are weaker emotionally, so should be handled softly. No matter how large in size some women may appear, they are very frigile.
Late Osinachi Nwachukwu, was one of Nigeria’s gospel singers that her music was so inspirational. During crusades and religious programmes, the kind of crowds she gathered was something encouraging.
The “Ekwueme” song she featured in, is one of the most inspiring gospel music of our time. Till her death, I never knew she was a contributor to that beautiful music.
The impact of Osinachi’s “Ekwueme” song in the hearts of believers can never be over-emphasised.
Unfortunately, she has gone to be with her creator but will be remembered by all the good lyrics she contributed to produce.
About three years ago, the news of the late gospel singer became viral with so many persons expressing their views on what would have caused her death. So many stories were told but the issue of late Osinachi was that allegedly she sustained injuries from her husband as a result of domestic violence.
According to late Osinachi’s elder sister, who gave account of what happened to her sister, she died of blood clothing in the chest from her husband beating her chest. She said her late sister was exposed to inhuman treatments from her husband before her untimely death and denied her sister dying as a result of cancer. “She did not die of cancer”, she exposed.
Osinachi’s family sources explained that severally before her demise, they had told her to leave her marriage, having seen what she was passing through, but she never accepted the advice.
It was gathered that the family members had advised her to separate from the husband at least, since it was not divorce but she refused.
Osinachi as a believer and gospel singer might have felt that she could pray to overcome the challenges of marriage.
She would have also thought that if she left or separated from her matrimonial home, that would affect her ministry. She might have felt that God is against divorce.
As humans, there are certain things you can never easily agree with. But I think that when it comes to saving life, it is better to adhere to advice.
Of course, two good heads are better one. No one person knows it all. As a believer, she saw separation as a sin and not to save her life and take care of her children. She would tell them to relax while praying for her husband to have a change of attitude towards her.
Let us assume that the husband beat her on the chest, she refused to tell her family but good enough, she told a friend who lives in Ebonyi State that her husband hit her on the chest.
Unfortunately, they refused to tell the doctor that kind of thing occurred, so as to administer the right drugs immediately. She died leaving her children behind and her husband.
When domestic violence continues to occur in the home, what should the woman do as church people? The issue of “For Better, For Worse”, during holy matrimony by the pastors, our spiritual fathers should be looked into and we need to understand in better ways.
Different people have come up with various opinions about whether marriage should continue or ‘separate’ when domestic violence is on the peak.
Some support while others disagree. Should a woman remain in a marriage when danger is looming? We are not unaware that men too suffer domestic violence, but they do not have much challenge since they may claim to own the home. Sometimes they live outside their homes.
The only regret in calling for separation or divorce is about the well-being of the children. But for marriages that have not been blessed, we need more explanation.
It is becoming more worrisome because when marriages break, the children are at more risk as parents will not live together. I think the best way is to nurture and train kids together. The negative effects of separated homes are so much.
A lot of women have left their matrimonial homes to give peace a chance. Is it the best option? The “worse” during solemnisation cannot be relied upon to encourage enduring matrimonial violence or any other manner of one- sided wickedness. It only refers to shared burden.
It should not be interpreted to accommodate one party in a marriage practising wickedness to the other. Marriage was created as a mutual support and comforting institution and not for anti-social behaviour.
One of late Osinachi’s sons according to reports, revealed that his father told them(his children) that beating women was good and in one of the occasions, they witnessed how he pushed their mother out of her car. They also alleged that their father seized their late mother’s two cars.
It is good to be careful while taking certain actions in the presence of children in homes. Whether it is true or false, the children are watching and must have something to say when time comes.
One of the gospel singers of our time, Osinachi, is late with rumours of her husband contributing to the cause of her death. But the husband denied being responsible for the death of his wife.
He said all the allegations levelled against him were false and claimed that his late wife was sick from year 2021 before she died in 2022.
What can anybody do? Osinachi is not alive to narrate what happened. If only a lesson can be learnt where women especially, will be able to speak out when involved in any form of domestic violence, it will be better.
She would have lived to take care of her kids if she had spoken out on time. She might have been sick of other ailments but because of the revelation coming out of her children, relatives and friends, anyone can just conclude that she died as a result of maltreatment from domestic violence.
Domestic violence affects women the more. When it continues to occur, what should the woman do, separation or divorce?
Osinachi was a native of Isuochi in Abia State and married to Peter from Nnewi in Anambra State.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
Women
The Christian Teaching Mother (II)
A Christian teaching mother is one who imparts knowledge to her children and others by adhering strictly to the Christian doctrines and practices .
A real and devoted teaching mother should not ask her children and wards to keep malice.
Mothers should know that the way the teaching mother dresses speaks volumes about her while the children are watching. Teach them to dress decently either in your presence or absence.
It is important to teach the children how to respect constituted authorities, especially teachers in schools, at every educational level. Teaching them how to greet and respect elders in their neighbourhood and society at large. Obedience to parents and other elders can help children attain long life.
According to the Scriptures, “obey your parents so that your days may be long on earth”.
Furthermore, a mother should teach the children how to work hard academically instead of sending money to them to buy results and pay mercenariees in examinations.
A situation where parents go to fight teachers on disciplinary actions against their children should be discouraged.
A good teaching mother should teach what she practises as well as keeping the rules because they are watching. It is dangerous to tell lies before the children and of course, they may point such it out immediately. The mother must lead exemplary lifestyle.
The primary role of mothers is to nurture the children to adolescence because some of them cannot differentiate their left from their right.
Devotion of more time to children is very important no matter how tight the mother’s schedule may be. The mother must work hard to make ends meet since only the man cannot bear the responsibilities of keeping the home but the girl-child needs more attention. The children, especially the females need to be guided so as to avoid unwanted pregnancy, they need to be the mother’s friend.
The boys are not left out of the sight of the mothers so that they do not involve in social vices. The mother ought to monitor the boy-child so that he does not impregnate an underaged girl.
Furthermore, women are solution providers because sometimes, men may be soft with the children. Women should utilise the attributes and skills given to them by God.
Regular teaching without ceasing in the homes, church, school and in the public. The mother can spare the rod and spoil the child. Teaching does not only come from the mother, it is a combined effort with the man who is the head of the home. Even when the mother is the breadwinner, she cannot teach alone.
Regrettably, there are challenges hindering women from teaching good morals.
Moreso, busy schedules and absence of the father can hinder women from effective teaching. Mothers may not be teaching everything they are supposed to teach.
Late teaching when the children’s bad behaviour would have got out of hand is very dangerous, so, women must start early so as to catch them young.
A good teaching mother should not feel that the children should bear their father’s name and so if they turn out to be miscreants in future, their father should be held responsible.
King Solomon actually admonished his son thus, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother”.
Truly women need support when they teach. According to the Scriptures, train up a child in the way of God, so that when he or she grows up, he will not depart from it.
It should be noted that one of the tools for teaching is prayer. Daily devotional and constant fellowship with them where you teach the word of God are vital. Living by example by listening to music and differentiating between earthly music and gospel vibes will go a long way in effective teaching.
It is worrisome to note that peer pressure is one of the challenges affecting effective teaching in both schools and homes nowadays. The society is now having negative impact on the adolescents via social media, celebrities and entertainers just to mention but a few. But is better the children choose the right ways of life and eschew bad attitudes.
Good teaching mothers should not make comparison among the children because that may lead to withdrawal syndrome.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
Women
Women Can Go Without Artificial Beauty
Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.
Eunice Choko – Kayode
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