Opinion
Better Life For Widows
For the past one month, I have saddled myself with a responsibility I never craved for I have had to educate my brothers and men around me on the need for them to write their will, stating clearly who their next of kin is.
Of course, I’m not a lawyer, with an indepth knowledge of the procedures for the drafting of the legal document. I had never also been bordered about how a man wishes to dispose his property and holdings after death, not with the belief and impression that someone, particularly a woman who suggests the making of will to her husband wishes him dead.
But all that have changed since last month when a close friend lost her husband and her life has been literally turned apart by her late husband’s relations. As soon as they learnt about the man’s death, they rushed to his house, laying claims on every available property. But for the woman’s family, she and her three daughters would have been homeless today as they were disposed of all the man’s belongings because she has no male child who is the only one culturally authorised to inherit the man’s property.
She was however, told that she could inherit those property only on the condition that she gets re-married to a member of her late husband’s family.
It’s been a fierce battle between my friend and her husband’s family since then as she refused to get married to any of her late husband’s relation and swore not to fold her hands and watch people take away all that she laboured with her husband to acquire.
My friend is not the only widow caught up in this dilemma. The plight of widows in different parts of the country is very pathetic. Some of them are condemned to lifes of rejection, trauma, deprivation and poverty. In many communities, a wife is usually accused of being responsible for her husband’s death. She is subjected to all kinds of dehumanizing treatment including sleeping in the same room with her husband’s corpse for some days, drinking the water used in bathing her husband’s corpse and many more.
Their challenges are innumerable. Apart from mourning their dead husbands and agonising over where the next meal will come from, they are subjected to pathetic living conditions, vulnerable and unprotected life. They are left out of government’s policies and legislations, forgotten in the scheme of things.
That is why one finds the effort being made by the Vicar General, Catholic Diocese of Port Harcourt, Msgr Cyprain Onwuli to ameliorate the sufferings of widows in the diocese very commendable. He was moved by shocking, gory tales of some widows he heard in 2004 to start a widows association in his former Parish, St John’s Catholic Church, Rumukwurushi. Today, the association which started with only about 50 widows, has over 500 members and has spread to more than twelve parishes in the diocese.
The Priest has, with the help of his friends, rendered medical, legal, financial and spiritual assistance to this category of vulnerable women. He has given scholarship to many of their children.
At the diocesan inauguration of the body recently, the Priest who was highly elated by the progress made by the widow in the area of skills acquisition, said his dream was to establish the widows association in all the Parishes especially those in rural areas where there are larger number of widows so that more lives would be transformed.
He called on government and other well meaning individuals to join hands in making life more meaningful for widows in our society. He noted that, “those in authority have not done much for the poor, especially the widows. They give to those who have in the name of charity and those ones they help do not help each other”.
He appealled to the authorities to improve the welfare of widows to help them cushion the effect of the demise of their husbands.
Similarly, the president of the association, Lady Priscilia Ekeke appealed to government at different levels to assist in empowering the widows, especially the indigent ones. She called for the abolition of some obnoxious laws against widows in many states of the federation.
Indeed, life could be made more meaningful for widows if the society actually sees the need to help them. Many widows die in frustration having been left in the lurch in their hours of need. There is need for government to improve their welfare by creating more opportunities for them.
Widows also should help themselves. They should not see their state as a state of incapacitation whereby they cannot do anything to help themselves but depend on others for their livelihood.
As the Chaplain of the widows association, Fr Eric Bien advised, widows should emulate the biblical Judith, who used her beauty, intelligence, power and courage to win victory for the Israelites. God has used widows to do great things and deliver nations in the past and the present day widows can also be used if they are willing and ready to work.
But most importantly, men should see the urgent need for them to write their will so that their wives and children will not be subjected to unnecessary torture and hardship when they are gone.
Calista Ezeaku
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
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