Opinion
Fatherhood: An Endangered Species?
A father is a male parent or a male figure who plays a paternal role in a child’s life. He is typically the biological father, but can also be an adoptive father, stepfather, foster father, or a male guardian. A father is often seen as a source of guidance and direction, support and encouragement, love and nurturing, discipline, role modelling and mentorship, as well as provision and protection. A father’s presence can have a profound impact on children’s lives, shaping their values, beliefs, and personalities. It can also be a source of strength, comfort, and inspiration, helping the children navigate life’s challenges and celebrate triumphs. Being a father is not just about biology; it is about being present, involved, and committed to a child’s well-being and development. Fathers come in many forms, and their roles and responsibilities can vary widely depending on cultural, social, and personal contexts.
A family without a father therefore, is like a ship without a captain, lost and drifting aimlessly. It is a family without a sense of security, stability, and guidance. It is a family where the children lack a male role model, emotional support, and a sense of identity. It is a family that is vulnerable, broken, and in need of healing. Like a garden without a gardener, such family would lack care and nourishment. Suffice it to say that children who grow up without a father figure in their life, remain like a puzzle with a missing piece, incomplete and imperfect. They are not only more likely to suffer from low self-esteem and depression, but are also more prone to anxiety and stress-related disorders. This deficiency traits haunt them all through life to the point that their immediate environments, and society at large are not exonerated from devastating effects of their distorted lifestyles. The rise of single-parent households and the increasing number of absent fathers have further exacerbated the problem.
This is why God did not consider it an error placing man to be called father, as the head of the family, to teach children valuable life skills, such as discipline, hard work, and responsibility, shaping their values and beliefs. But when a home actually has a male figure called father and yet the offsprings have nothing to show for it, it becomes a cause to worry about. Have we taken time to observe that we seem to be living in a generation that begats sons and daughters who act and behave like they have never felt the touch of a father? Does it really concern us that what once bothered on morals and integrity no longer count in our own time? From the leaders down to the led, adults and infants, that sense of culture and homeliness which depict a fulfilled assignment of a father appears missing, leaving a question mark on the position of the supposed fatherly role in the life of a child. Today, we have grown-ups without initiatives, political thugs, whore mongers, criminals and corrupt individuals in high and low places who have lost consciousness of their self worth. To these ones, discipline and decorum are thrown to the winds.
It may not be out of place to state that changing social norms and cultural values, in addition to economic pressures and work-related stress have forced fathers to become disconnected from their families even when they are not miles away from home. These are underlying issues that need be addressed to create an environment conducive enough to get fathers involved. When fatherhood, a once revered and sacred institution, begins to gradually become an endangered species, the traditional family structure, that once served as the backbone of society, starts crumbling. This trend has far-reaching consequences, affecting not only families but also society as a whole. The absence of fathers does not only have a profound impact on children’s emotional and psychological well-being, its consequences are far-reaching and devastating. We must recognise the importance of fathers in shaping their children’s mental health and take steps to ensure their involvement. Fatherhood is not just a biological tie; it is a nurturing and guiding force. Fathers provide stability, security, and love, essential for a child’s growth and development. We must acknowledge the significance of fathers and strive to preserve this vital institution.
The decline of fatherhood has both social and economic implications. Apart from homes being prone to experience poverty, and children less likely to have access to resources and opportunities, such as education and job training, it predisposes the society to crime, and social unrest, while registering profound impact on community cohesion and social stability. This is why it warrants attention and action. Moreso, studies have shown that children without fathers are more likely to suffer from emotional and behavioural problems. They are also more prone to substance abuse and criminal behaviour. Fatherlessness is a ticking time bomb, threatening the very fabric of our society. We must take immediate action to address this crisis and restore the dignity of fatherhood. This can only be achieved by recognising the value of fathers and encouraging their involvement in family life.
More can still be achieved through initiatives that promote father-child bonding, such as parenting classes and support groups. We must also create opportunities for fathers to connect with their children, through activities and programmes that foster meaningful relationships. Fatherhood is not just a personal choice, but a social responsibility. Fathers have a duty to provide for their children, to protect them, and to teach them distinquish right from wrong. The revival of fatherhood requires a cultural shift. We must challenge traditional gender roles and stereotypes, recognising the importance of fathers in family life. We must also create opportunities for fathers to connect with their children, through activities and programmes that foster meaningful relationships.
Quote:”Communities have rights to peace, safety, and quality of life. Noise pollution, crowds, or other impacts from religious activities can affect these rights. Balancing these interests requires consideration and dialogue”.
“All work and no play”, its said, “makes Jack a dull boy.” Despite this age-long maxim that recognises the role of play in early childhood development, play appears to be eluding many Nigerian kids. The deprivation of play opportunities comes in different forms for the Nigerian child depending on family’s social setting or status, but the effect is much the same. For children in Nigerian poor families, life is becoming as much a hassle as it is for their struggling parents. Due to harsh economic conditions, many families resort to engaging their kids prematurely in trading activities especially in hawking, to help boost family revenues, when these kids should be enjoying leisure after school. Some of these children barely attend schools while being forced to spend much of their childhood hustling in the streets. For children from well-off families, time could be as crunchy as it is for their busy parents when, obsessed with setting agenda for the future of their kids, parents arrange stringent educational regiment too early for their kids.
These group of children are made to get-off the bed by 5.30am every weekday, get ready for private school buses that call at 6.00am, otherwise report by however means to school at 7.20am.The situation is worse for kids in the city of Lagos where the need to beat urban traffic rush-hours is very high. Most children are further subjected to extra hours of lessons after school at 2.00pm, only to be released with loads of homework. On many occasions children who leave home for school at 6.30am get back by 3.30pm. With hardly enough time to eat, do school assignments and take afternoon naps, these children hardly had time for plays before dinners. In Nigeria, kids of ages between 3 and 12 spend averages of 9 hours a day and 45 hours a week to and from schools, and additional hours doing home assignments and domestic jobs, whereas their peers in developed countries spend about half that duration and have more time for leisure.
Any remaining spare time left after school work or street hustle is further stolen, when kids who usually are fascinated by gadgets, are exposed to household electronics like phones, tablets and gaming consoles. Electronic games may create a sense of leisure, but the difference with human interactions is that kids doing games interface mostly with machines or with programme structured in ways that entrap a child’s pysch directionally, according to the game’s programming, in ways that may not encourage independent thinking. Moreso, attraction to such gadgets displaces kids’ attention from important television and radio programmes. The prevalent tight, academic schedules for some Nigerian kids, though intended for academic excellence, encroaches on childhood leisure time needed to achieve an all-round childhood development, and could make children to resent formal education altogether. Besides, academic excellence or economic pursuit, is not all there is to living a well-nurtured life.
Children’s leisure time, defined as time left over after sleeping, eating, personal hygiene and attending school or day-care, is very crucial to childhood development. Sociologists recommend that children should have at least 40 per ceny of the day as leisure. According to Berry Brazelton, a former pediatrician at Harvard Medical School, “Play is the most powerful way a child explores the world and learns about him or herself.” Unstructured play encourages independent thinking and allows the young to negotiate their relationships with their peers, and in the process build self-confidence and self-control. Play is one of the important ways in which young children gain essential knowledge and skills. Leisure time enhances learning as fun enables children to learn at their own level and pace. Young children naturally explore and learn many skills by making cognitive connections from events that catch their attention.
Unstructured plays help children developed their cognitive, physical and communication skills that make them acquire social qualities necessary in navigating relationships in adult life. Plays enable children assess how others feel and learn perspectives as well as empathy through observing differences in facial expressions, body language and even tone of voice, which helps them copy how to express themselves to others, and therefore develop socially acceptable behavours that build relationships. In cooperative activities, children willingly take things in turn and may delegate roles. Children can also share the glory of winnings through competitive games, which is all great for working together in task sharing. Aside encouraging parents to ensure adequate leisure time for their kids at home, schools should make plays and exercises an integral part of the educational curriculum. The educational curriculum set by the Nigerian Educational Research and Development Council (NERDC) includes specific training durations and break periods, as well as sporting activities, as part of the school system.
Due to poor government funding, sports in public schools have declined, while most private schools lack sporting infrastructure or even play grounds. These make recreational activities and sports implementation almost impossible in schools. Also, the increasing rate of urbanisation in Nigerian communities is gradually eroding ancient playgrounds, while established urban centres have lost community playgrounds. With tightening apartment spaces now being the norm in most urban residential areas, many kids are forced to wriggle within burglary-proof enclosures. Nigerian governments and the relevant agencies should ensure that existing child labour protection laws, educational and urban development codes are implemented in the country, to enable proper nurturing of children as the future stakeholders of our society. Private schools, especially, should be supervised to ensure they follow the educational curriculum standards set by NERDC.
In a bid to impress parents and draw more patronage as better option than public schools, private schools, most of whom operate in cramped environments, have continued to set high regiments of training schedules beyond the capacity of most kids, and even encourage enrollment of pre-school age kids who can not sit still to listen for an extended periods of time. Schools, from creche to secondary levels, without playgrounds and recreational facilities should not be allowed to operate, and should be made to understand and implement appropriate curriculum and training durations. Many Nigerian kids, whether from rich or poor families, appear to have been set-up inadvertently, in the same leisure denial that affects their parents. All work and no play could lead to some messed-up kids who grow up not understanding social cues, and being unemotional and self-centered, manifest later as obsessive-compulsive adults.
By: Joseph Nwankwo
We thank God who is above all human contrivance and arrogance. Congratulations, Your Excellency Amaopusenibo Sir Siminalayi Joseph Fubara. Your victory takes us back to the Bible as a living document of a God that rules in the affairs of all His creation. In a manner of speaking, welcome back from your first war with Phillistines, Your Excellency! Yes, first example is David and Goliath! And like David, Your Excellency stands over Goliath in victory. But that is not enough. Our real enemy is that Your Excellency is Governor of a State with a wretched economy. Indigenes of Your State are today reduced to battalions of beggars waiting for who will hire their loyalty on the usual “pay-as-you-go” basis.
Your Excellency, it brings us to another Bible- based parallel. Conscientious Rivers indigenes above 50, should identify with and commit our all to this second parallel. It is to liberate the economy and people of Rivers people from 23 years enslavement and poverty, for us to regain our dignity and pride. When the economy of Egypt was drifting into a disaster zone, even Pharaoh did not know it. He also did not know what to do. But God sent a Joseph to build the economy into a fortress of good fortune that overcame the economic and social disaster Egypt did not know was ahead. Your Excellency for 23 years, Rivers State has been ruled without any logical, credible and consistent PLAN of how to overcome mass poverty from our dehydrated local economies.
Your Excellency, Rivers State cannot survive one month without Federal allocation! So called IGR only about 10 per cent of Federal allocation.It is also not based on what we produce but on tax from other people’s productivity that pass through our State. Pharaoh did not know what to do in the case of Egypt. May it please God to position another Joseph in Governor Siminalayi Joseph Fubara to heal Rivers State and build an economy that all Africa will come to access in order to chart a new course out of worsening economic hardship that is caused by near zero investment in productivity and endemic reckless looting. They are the twin chambers nursing a corporate cancer unfolding across Nigeria and Africa. The hard work begins today, Your Excellency.
We need an economic blueprint that will enrich every Rivers senatorial district from investment to grow productivity and to enrich every Rivers person from career-based productive labour, just as Pharaoh was enriched by Joseph’s economic Blueprint. Let Rivers State stop the trend of waiting the lives of young Rivers people recruited by Phillistines into cultism, thuggery and easy money, as a career. These Phillistines believe they have only lost one phase of many legal battles and battles by other means. But from comments in the public media, their eyes are fixed on 4-years of war and more! Your Excellency, we the people will not let you forget what you owe us. We have to make unbelievers see that your leadership is different and that we are uprooting the old order of an unproductive Feudal System. That system makes a few persons and their cronies to monopolise our collective wealth, while the majority are left in misery. Let’s put an end to enslavement by cabals and mass poverty in Rivers State. That is when the Phillistines will surrender.
By: Amaopusenibo Brown