Opinion
Just Being You
We are in a time where excellence is shunned because everyone can not be excellent, so we celebrate the mediocre and those who do not do anything meaningful.
When people decide they want more they are often told that they are elitist, believe in respectability, or told they will miss out because they are setting the bar too high.
Here are some things to consider if you want more out of life:
You will have to decide if what you want is what you really want and you will need to decide if it is worth it. My first question to myself or anybody else is: what do you really want?
I believe there are always two types of answers to that question.
First, it may not be what you really want but it will do for the moment. It does its job in the moment, it makes you feel good, and like you are doing something but it is not really what you want.
It is a good price now but it will cost you more in the end because it is just enough to get you by. (I look at it like continuing to buy cheap earphones. Costs less now but you would have done better buying a good pair instead of wasting more money on the cheap stuff).
However, the better option is that which you really want. It is what will cost more up front but will pay off in the long run.
My values dictate that I want more and I want better so I had to suck it up buttercup and recommit myself to my values. I believe it will all be worth it and the odds are definitely in my favour. . You will have to drop people who are not going anywhere and you can not feel bad about it . There is no rule that says you have to hang on to the same people you have known your whole life. That is right. If there are people in your life that have been going nowhere in life for the past few years, then you should move on.These people will be a hindrance to you. They either will not get your lifestyle and will want you to do what you used to do which may not be where you are going now or you will find out that hanging out with these people is a time waster because you literally have nothing in common anymore.
I prefer to spend my time with people who are critical thinkers, focused on making their lives better, and making an impact in the world. It is the direction my life is going and hanging out with people who are not going that way would be a waste of my time, which is unacceptable.
I should also say that you should stay away from people who only make you feel good but are not holding you accountable and encouraging you to do better. These people are manipulative and are using you for their own selfish reasons whether it is income or pleasure. The friends I work with affirm me but they also hold me accountable to take action in the areas I say that I want to improve upon. If someone really cares about you, then they will make it a point of duty to encourage you to want more out of your life, hold you accountable to take action, and support your growth. Someone who just tells you how great you are is blowing smoke up your behind and will not help you grow. There should be affirmation but also accountability to improve and grow.
You will have to come to terms with the fact that your life will not look like everyone else’s.
One of the main reasons you will want to give up is because your life will be so different from what is considered normal.Wait — is not that what we want?
Yes, it is, but it can be tempting to want to follow the masses or believe that something is wrong with you because what you are doing is so different from what is perceived as normal. However, you need to ask yourself again what is it that you want? Do you want to be normal and like everyone else or Do you want more?
You will have to ask yourself if you want normal or if you want more.
Do you want to be trapped in a life that looks normal but is not what you really wanted?
One of the saddest realities is people who are given a life that they never lived but rather existed in because they wanted to be normal or please others.
You sure will have to disappoint people some times. I recall making the best decision in my life and guess what, it was a decision that led me towards believing a limitless life was possible without the oppression of a belief system that was stifling and even worse, had terrible results and outcomes. It disappointed people but I do not regret it for one moment because even from a young age I knew I wanted more and I did not want to end up like what I was witnessing.
The disappointment was hard at first and some tried to make me feel guilty but when I look at where I am now, my only regret is that I did not do it sooner.
When you want more you will disappoint some people and you will have to ask yourself if you want to live your lif or live someone else’s expectations of your life.
Remember, you are going to have to be the one to live the consequences of that choice, not the people you are trying to please. They will likely criticise you either way. I would rather be criticized for living my life than living a life I never wanted.
I also think sometimes people who are so disappointed may be envious that you are doing what they wished they had the courage to do. What is so sad is that they can do it, if they just would stop believing they cannot. You will inspire others to want more
This is what it comes down to for me. For every person I have disappointed, I am sure I have inspired more to want more as well and see that it can happen.
This is my mission and calling to inspire others to want more. We do not need to be trapped in limited lives and do what we have always done.
By: Leemene Joshua-Ene
Joshua-Ene Esq, is a practising lawyer in Port Harcourt.
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