Opinion

Gender-Based Violence: Are Women Guilty?

Published

4 years ago

December 9, 2022

It has been an active sixteen days globally as activities are organised both on the international and local levels to call for action to end violence against women and girls. In Nigeria, the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence which began on November 25, the international day for elimination of violence against women and will end tomorrow, December 10, the International Human Rights Day, have seen Civil Society Organisations, women professional groups, Non-governmental Organisations (NGOs) and several other women groups at various forums talking about violence against women and girls and the need to end it.
Violence against women and girls is indeed a very big issue in our society. The traditional and social media are daily awashed with stories of young women, including infants being raped and molested by their opposite sex, married women being raped by their husbands, women being discriminated against in their work places, schools and even families on account of their gender. The issue of wife battering is almost a norm in our society. Many women are dying slowly as a result of mistreatment, abuse and beating meted on them by their husbands, but they seal their lips either for the fear of losing their marriages or for what the society will say. You see a woman being battered by her husband because due to fatigue or other genuine reasons she denied him sex. Recall the case of late gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, who was allegedly maltreated to death by her husband. These cases abound everywhere such that the 16 days are hardly enough to campaign against it.
But as we carry on with the campaign against violence on the female gender by the male, we must not fail to look at the issue of violence against men. Yes, a lot of men are daily being abused by their wives and other females in their lives but they hardly voice it out. At an event to sensitise the public on the rights of women a few days ago, a consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician with the National Hospital, Abuja, revealed that a recent research conducted by her on violence against men shows that many men are suffering greatly in the hands of their wives. According to her, she interviewed over 200men in the course of the research and over 30 percent of them narrated how they were verbally and emotionally abused by their wives. Some women who are more financially stable than their spouses talk down on their partners, reminding them daily that they are lazy and stupid and that is why they cannot provide for their families.
Some of the respondents also disclosed that their wives denial them sex. A particular man said he had not had a sexual intercourse with his wife for about seven months because the woman was angry that he did not give her money to buy an expensive artificial hair which he could not afford. Some say their partners are always tormenting them, telling their friends, family members and whoever cares to know that they are not good in bed. The truth is that some women are dealing with their partners. Have we not heard stories of how some women will beat their husband only to turn around and raise an alarm, calling attention of their neighbours claiming that their husbands have killed them? Or married women who are having extra-marital affairs, but forbid their husbands from questioning them because they are catering for the family?
These negative attitudes can lead to violence against women. Afterall, it is said that negative energy attracts negative responses. Violence begets violence. You cannot throw a ball to the wall and expect it not to bounce back and probably hit you. So, it is high time due attention was paid to the attitude of women towards their partners. Surely, there is no reason why a man should raise his hands on his or any other woman. There are better ways of handling issues other than being physical. The same should be applicable to women who torture their husbands emotionally. In the words of an author, “the scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious.” No woman, no man deserved to be abused emotionally, physically, sexually, psychologically and otherwise.
So, as the 16 days of activism come to an end tomorrow and we highlight the need for the protection of human right, it would be most appropriate for the CSOs, NGOs and other women groups to use the opportunity to also talk to the women on the need for them to respect and love their partners for peaceful, harmonious relationships.It is important that it should be drummed into the ears of women that marriage is not a do or die affair. Women who are in abusive relationships should speak up and seek help before it becomes too late. Afterall, is it not when you are alive that you have a husband? Are Osinachi and other women who died in similar circumstances alive today to talk about their husbands and their children? Waiting until something destroys you before you see how bad the thing is does not speak of wisdom.
Having said that, it is also time we address a growing trend in our society. Growing up, we were made to understand that there are specific roles for various members of the family, particularly the nuclear family. The father is the head of the family. He provides and protects the family. The woman is supposed to take care of the children and the home and assist the man when she can. The Bible calls her a help mate. These days however, many young men are abandoning the duty of providing for the family to their wives. A woman goes out in the morning hawking all kinds of things in order to get money to put food on her family’s table and to see her children through school. Some women go from one village market to another toiling to make money for the upkeep of their families. But their husbands are at home doing nothing.
Some other young men, especially the educated ones, get married to older, rich women who become the bread winners while the men turn to “oriaku”. And when their expectations are not met or the poor woman after the day’s hustle is late in cooking and serving their food or not yielding to their sexual advances, trouble ensues in their homes. There is no denying the fact that the economic situation in the country is very harsh on a lot of individuals and families. Employment opportunities are becoming more scarce every day. But that should not be the reason for a man to sit at home while the woman is weighed down by the whole burden of the family. This obviously can lead to frustration, provocation and violence. These classes of men should wake up to their responsibilities. Whoever decides to have a family should be able to make an effort to provide for his family while the woman helps. This will go a long way to minimise violence against both the female and male genders in our homes and the society at large.
The 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence are an annual international campaign. It was started by activists at the inauguration of the Women’s Global Leadership Institute in 1991. It continues to be coordinated each year by the Centre for Women’s Global Leadership. It is used as an organising strategy by individuals and organisations around the world to call for the prevention and elimination of violence against women and girls. This year, the theme is UNiTE! Activism to end violence against women and girls!

By: Calista Ezeaku

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

4 days ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

4 days ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”

Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.

Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.

Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.

Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.

Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.

The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.

By; Confidence Adoo

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’ Prescription

Published

2 weeks ago

June 8, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”

The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.

Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,

when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.

Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?

Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.

Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi