Opinion
Dangers Of Poor Parental Control
One of the major challenges facing children today
is that most parents have failed to inculate in their children from early age, the true African and Biblical tenets that will help them meet up with societal expectations and development. This is why youth restiveness, violence especially among youths and other vices are rife among today’s young people.
Thus, children grow up and become very lazy, constituting nuisance in the society and waiting to be given pittance to perpetrate any kind of evil.
Infact, social development of a child cannot be over-stressed. It is a process in which an individual acquires the ability to behave in accordance with social expectations- which is a behavioural pattern expected by the society of a child. This is to say that his/her behaviour must be in tandem with socially approved pattern.
All the abnormal behaviour seen in children today is as a result of poor parental control.
Indeed, parental control is really lacking in most children right from early age, till they become adults. Worse still, parents do not reprimand their children when they do wrong. Consequently, the children take it as their right to perpetrate such evils. Let us remember that every wrong doing is sin (I John 5:17).
Parents should know that aside procreation there are so much to be done in the proper upbringing of their children, so that they can grow up to be better citizens of the society as well as better candidates of heaven.
In our society today, children have become so disrespectful to God, elders and constituted authorities, and are now treading the path of violence and aggression, and are very lazy to do some household chores. Charity they say begins at home. If you don’t start well from home how will you do well outside?
This brings to mind the five agents of a child development.
*The Family:- This is every child’s first contact and as such very important for parents to inculcate in the child, from early age, good hygiene and toilet habits which include teaching the child how to keep the house and toilet clean, how to cook food for the entire family, and how to take care of his/her own self, so as not to have body odour or contact skin diseases such as ringworm, eczema, scabbies etc.
The child is also taught table manner, sitting positions and even sex education. Creating this awareness, helps the child to avoid child abuse. Most children suffer child abuse today as a result of lack of sex education from early age by their parents. Thus, they are exposed to sexual abuses from even their parents, uncles, aunties, friends, and neighbours.
When this is introduced to the child from early age, he/she will be able to report that uncle or aunty that would want to violate them.
Also, the female child needs very special attention in her early teenage age when she is to experience her first menstrual flow. Their mothers must prepare the mind of the children, teach the children how to change themselves when once this new development occurs in their lives, so that they are not scared or disgraced by this first experience. Rather they would feel very happy to share their experience with their mothers who will in turn welcome them into motherhood and buy new toiletries, pants and pads.
The male child also needs the same special attention as the female child because when he is a teenager too, he faces puberty challenges that translates into new experiences. And if not taught about this experience he will engage in masturbation which can be destructive. The child can also face some sexual abuses from their parents which make them develop hatred that can lead to killing any woman that they come across.
*The peer group:- Parents should monitor their child’s peer groups as it is very important and very strong and have greater influence on the child, especially when the child starts behaving and liking what his/her peers wear. Every good parent must ensure that their children are not negatively influenced.
*Religion:- In order for the child to develop correctly in his/her way, parents must mold some social behavior into their children. The child must have respect for constituted authorities, elders, friends, colleagues, among others.
*The school:- This is very important because the child interacts with others and so makes socialization become very formal as they freely relate with one another and be respectful to teachers and prefects.
The Social Media:- These are websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. We are in the era of internet facilities where so many things are exposed to our children. This communicates certain pattern of behavior, both negative and positive to our children.
Though a panacea for youth restiveness that may destroy their future, it gives them hope to live life to its fullness and keeps them always busy through browsing, pinging, chatting among others.
Parents should guide their children on important values and standards in terms of online choices. Also, parents should review the terms of use for sites and discuss these terms in context of family values.
The negative use of the social media is very huge. For instance, criminals use it to disguise themselves that they are very beautiful girls and would propose friendship, and business deals even when it is obvious they don’t know each other and they will lose their hard earned money and even their lives to these fraudsters.
The child must be totally developed. This has to do with the child’s environment such as the school, home community, church among others.
If the family does not show genuine love to their children, by taking them to church which is a place where their lives are sharpened through the teaching of God’s word and by sending them to good schools, they cannot be socially and intellectually developed which will still tell the high level of lack of parental control.
Susan Serekara-Nwikhana
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
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