Opinion
As Unhappy As We Are
An attractive married couple with all the badges of mid-life success — jobs, car, private school, nice apartment — have lost their love to stubbornness, resentment and the grinding duties of a demented elderly parent and a pubescent daughter under the same roof. None of that will keep them together.
The characters in writer-director, Asgha Farhadi’s new film, A Separation, are a modern, urban every-couple, except that their D-I-V-O-R-C-E is spelled in Farsi. What is surprising is how much these people are like us, despite living in Tehran, home to the Ayatullah’s virtue squads and dictator, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s crisis-provoking nuclear ambitions.
Farhadi’s fifth movie, A Separation, is also about gender politics — no surprise in the land of the chador — but even that theme is eerily familiar. The wife is a modern woman obliged to cover her head in public, and she wants to get her daughter out of Iran.
Her husband would not consider leaving because his elderly father needs him. As their initial separation leads to disaster, it becomes clear that official female repression is not the deal-breaker, as much as the clash between man and woman, recognizable to anyone who has ever been married.
Inaugurating the film’s American release, Farhadi screened it in New York recently to a small crowd of notables, including the chief of Sony Classics, which is distributing the film in the United States., filmmaker Michael Moore and author Erica Jong.
In an interview session, Farhadi, speaking Farsi, spoke about state censorship, and said Iranian television has never shown any of his films, though it has broadcast pirated versions of Michael Moore’s movies. Moore admitted he gets emails from Iranian fans. “You touted me as the Ayatullah’s favorite filmmaker,” he noted. “I know they show my films because they show the dark side of America. But my films are also about rising up against authority.”
In its own subtle way, A Separation does for Americans what Moore’s films do for Iranians. While Moore’s films argue that Americans are cursed with bad leaders and policies — something Iranians can understand — A Separation reveals the equivalence between us and them.
Even officialdom looks like ours: Apparently, Iranian family court and criminal judges are just like our harried bureaucrats (not the Inquisitors we expect) and everyone, even women, moves around with a freedom many Americans cannot imagine in security-state Iran. Can Iranians “just get in their cars and drive?” an audience member asked Farhadi. “There is a difference between the people of a country, and its politicians,” he replied.
After decades of national distrust and rumours of war rumbling as predictably as the seasons, it is almost impossible for Americans to believe that Iranian people share the vicissitudes of modern life, whether it is watching their love dissolved or getting in their cars to drive.
With the US government sanctioning Iran and the Iranian regime threatening to close the Strait of Hormuz, this quietly powerful movie is like the lone man or woman standing in front of the inevitable tank, reminding us that domestic sorrow is impervious to national borders, peace and war.
Aside Farhadi’s film, the political firmament in Iran is as turbulent and uncertain as the cloudy sky. So unpredictable is the nation’s leader and his spiritual mentors that the citizens are rudely opaque in determining their future.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s government has openly declared its intention to pursue an ambitious nuclear programme, which it claims is directed at improving the power generation capacity and other development imperatives in the country. Ahmadinejad has viciously campaigned for the international community’s understanding of Iran’s desire to move beyond its peripheral status as a developing nation, depending on oil and gas as major sources of revenue.
Ahmadinejad has repeatedly called the bluff of the United States and the entire United Nations on the issue of nuclear programme and its development. The International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) has severally challenged Iran to open its nuclear facilities for unfettered inspection. But the regime continues with uranium enrichment programme and tightly controls the way it conducts business with the international community. Indeed, Iran, under Ahmadinejad, does not want any Western organization to come close.
For its recalcitrance, the IAEA recently pulled out of Iran, alleging the country’s leaders’ unwillingness to allow its personnel unrestricted access to the secret nuclear facilities for inspection. Even as IAEA has pulled out, complaining of Iran’s violation of UN directives on inspection of the facilities, Russia and China appear indifferent and continue to look the other way.
While that is going on, the Iranian people are daily inundated with the difficult realities of life in a country crammed by an avalanche of sanctions from the West, especially the United States. And the Barrack Obama administration is hell bent on slamming on sanctions on Iran until its leaders comply with the many UN resolutions giving vent to the IAEA inspection and control of the strategic programme.
However, the fear over the unpredictable intentions of Ahmadinejad is rising. In Israel, both the government and the people are committed to countering the Iranian force. And the Jewish nation has left no one in doubt that it has the capacity and capability to roll off the Iranian might and level the Persian great to dust, if and only if Ahmadinejad provokes any tension and crisis in the region.
Now back to the issue of social lives of both the Iranians and the Americans. It is now common knowledge that the Iranians are as engraved and unhappy as most Americans are today. In fact, the rate of divorce in American homes is rising just as the rate of films churned out daily from Hollywood. The number of single mothers and single fathers has increased over the last decade.
But unlike Iran, the cultural differences and lifestyles in America are fast shrinking. The dark border of colour and creed are fading as fast as the rate of integration is speeding as light wave. Even at that, Americans are still as unhappy as the Iranians, with no sanctions to contend with.
Is this meeting point the aggregation of Ahmadinejad and Obama? No. It is only the faint order of our social semblance. The culture of contemporary lifestyle has brought both Iranians and Americans together on the same table.
Burleigh is a journalist and the author of five books, including The Fatal Gift of Beauty.
Nina Burleigh
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
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