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Lust: The Battle Is On

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14 years ago

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The leaders behind the Every Man book series have Christian men spiritual tools for confronting sexual sin. Plus: Breaking the chains of Sexual Addition. There’s nothing new about lust. It’s been around since the fall of man. Every guy from Adam to your next-door neighbour has dealt with some measure of this internal struggle. But in 1990, a little invention called the Internet went global and suddenly everything changed. Where catching a glimpse of adult-oriented materials once required significant effort, now it became as simple as a late-night trip to the home computer. No longer did men starving for a sexual fantasy have to sneak to the convenience store with a dirty magazine or scurry in and out of an adult video shop.

Almost overnight, pornography turned into 12 billion industries. That’s bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Even worse, the porn culture has increasingly become and accepted part of the mainstream. Some porn stars have been run for political office. “Nobody was prepared for this kind of thing,” says author and speaker Stephen Afterburner. It was so subtle and so many guys got into it because they were curious. So one time they clicked, and then that site started marketing to them all the other sites. Now every day they’ve got 10 or 20 sites asking them to visit. It’s like an alcoholic walking to and every five minutes a guy steps out with a bottle of vodka and says “Here- want a drink?” That’s pretty hard to resist.”

Afterburner, the founder of the New Life Clinics, doesn’t claim to be a prophet, but when he wrote the book Addicted to Love (since updated and re-released as when you Love Too Much) back in 1984, he provided insight into an issue two decades ahead of its time. It was another 14 years, in 1998, before freelance writer, Fred Stoddert was inspired to write a similar book in the topic of sexual addiction. He enlisted help of former Focus on the Family editor, Mike Yorkey to tweak the manuscript. Waterboro Press jumped on the concept, but first brought Afterburner onboard to coauthor what was released in 2000 as Every Man’s Battle. Much of the book is based on Stoddert’s personal struggle with sexual immorality.

“God’s plan is to set sinners free and then use them to teach others,” Stoddert says. “God has been using me in just that way in t he series, and I’m perfectly happy to open my dirty laundry to the world if He’ll be glorified in the process.” “Having sexual integrity doesn’t just mean  not crawling into bed with someone who isn’t your husband.” Says Sharmon Ethridge, who has written books for the female side of the series. Every Man’s Felt Need: A first sales were modest, with roughly 1,000 books sold each month. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Every Man’s Battle started to fly if  the shelves. “Six months into it, pastors started buying the books by the box.; Afterburner says. “That’s when allof us realised that internet pornography has become such a problem and that church and pastors weren’t ignoring it, they just didn’t know what to do about it. That’s I felt like this (book) was going to change so much.

I got really excited. “The Every Man series has since sold over 10 million copies. Workbooks have been released for all 10 books and devotionals are soon to follow. Tyndale House Every Man’s Bible, Kenny Lack, Founder and president of Every man Ministries, says that it’s the book series unique approach that has resonated with men. “When there’s an agent of openness like Every Man’s Battle that normalize the struggle and adds grace and truth to it. You’re going to have an explosion,” Lack says. “All we did in the series was make men feel normal so they didn’t feel isolated.”

“The success of the series indicates that men have always wanted to rise up and flee their immorality,” Shoddert adds. “They just didn’t know what that looked like in practice. The series teaches exactly what fleeing looks like in real life.” “Lack who also serves as the men’s pastor at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Southern California, was brought in to write the third book, Every Man, God’s Man, which moves the series beyond sexual issues and into the realm of spiritual formation.

The expansion of the series has continued with such titles as Every man’s Marriage and Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s battle. The Every Man phenomenon doesn’t appear to be fading anytime soon. There’s a traveling workshop that’s impacting churches all across the nation and the existing books are starting to make significant movement into the mainstream. Barnes and Noble stores recently began placing. Every Man floor displays in prominent locations. Now book buyers can find a spin-off series (created by Lack) entitled God’s Man.

Arterburner hopes readers will continue moving beyond the base issues that launched Every Man’s Battle and start working towards a deeper, more spiritually rooted relationship with God. “Whatever you’re struggling with, use that as an exercise transforming everything in your life whether it’s a weight problem or alcohol or sexual addition,” Afterburner says. The bigger theme is clearing up these kinds of things so that you can become God’s man or God’s woman.

Breaking the Chains of Sexual Addition, how? Each of the writers from the Every Man’s Battle series is uniquely qualified to tackle the topic of sexual addition. Here are just a few of the practical insights they shared in the book. Steve Afterburner. “You have o admit you have a problem. You have to see it and quit denying and nationalizing. Then you have to do something about it. Doing something about it isn’t just asking God to remove it from you. You need to talk to a pastor or a councilor or someone who can help you. You have to make a connection with someone else so that you have accountability and encouragement. It has to be more than just having good intention.”

Kenny Lack: “I soaked in Scripture and changed my diet from sexual fantasy to God’s Word and worship. You must begin that process of replacement. The margin of victory in men’s lives is usually one other man who is authentic and real. Any place that you get a man who is authentic and real and he’s courageous enough to risk allowing God to use his weakness for ministry, that person’s ministry, that person’s ministry will explode.”

Fred Stoddert: The most effective way for men to protect themselves is to train their eye to bounce away from the sensual in their environment. Sensual imagery release addictive pleasure chemicals in the brain that draw us back for more. To win the physical front in this battle for purity, we need to cut off those addictive highs. To win the spiritual front in the battle, we need to understand God’s standards, and then pray and memorise and apply Scripture until our minds have been washed and transformed, and we no longer see a woman’s beauty as something we’re entitled to steal from. Christ never looked on a woman in a dishonourable way. We must allow our minds to be transformed until we have the mind of Christ in this arena.”

Dr. Akpogena resides in Port Harcourt.

 

Lewis Akpogena

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Opinion

Kudos  Gov Fubara

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5 days ago

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January 2, 2026

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Please permit me to use this medium to appreciate our able governor, Siminalayi Fubara for the inauguration of the 14.2-kilometre Obodhi–Ozochi Road in Ahoada-East Local Government Area.  This inauguration marks a significant milestone in the history of our communities and deserves commendation. We, the people of Ozochi, are particularly happy because this project has brought long-awaited relief after years of isolation and hardship.
The expression of our traditional ruler, His Royal Highness, Eze Prince Ike Ehie, JP, during the inauguration captured the joy of our people.  He said, “our isolation is over.”  That reflects the profound impact of this road on daily life, economic activities, and social integration of the people of Ozochi and other neighbouring communities. The road will no doubt ease transportation, improve access to markets and healthcare, and strengthen links between Ahoada, Omoku, and other parts of Rivers State.
The people of Ahoada, Omoku, and indeed Rivers State as a whole are grateful to our dear governor for this laudable achievement and wish him many more successful years in office. We pray that God endows him with more wisdom and strength to continue to pilot the affairs of the state for the benefit of all. As citizens, we should rally behind the governor and support his development agenda. Our politicians and stakeholders should embrace peace and cooperation, as no meaningful progress can be achieved in an atmosphere of conflict. Sustainable development in the state can only thrive where peace prevails.
Samuel Ebiye
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Opinion

… And It Came To Pass

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5 days ago

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January 2, 2026

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Quote:“Leadership is not measured by how hard one strikes back, but by how steady one remains under provocation.”
Tell it  in Rivers State, publish it  in the streets of Port Harcourt, so  the daughters of the State could rejoice, and the daughters of the uncircumcised triumph and know that Fubara is not vindictive”. And it came to pass that Rivers State emerged from one of the most delicate chapters in its political journey, the period of emergency rule that spanned from March 18 to September 18, 2025. It was a season that tested institutions, strained loyalties, and exposed the fragile balance between power and principle. During that time, the suspended Governor, Sir Siminalayi Fubara DSSRS, was widely believed to have suffered not only political setbacks but personal betrayal, allegedly from some top civil servants within the state apparatus. These were individuals expected to uphold neutrality and professionalism, yet were accused in public opinion of taking sides against the very government they served.
As the emergency rule ended and Governor Fubara resumed office, expectations were shaped less by policy and more by emotion. Many assumed that revenge would quietly find expression through governance. The loudest suspicion centered on the 2025 Christmas bonus of ?100,000 traditionally paid to each worker. The thinking was simple and cynical: a wounded governor would surely withhold goodwill. Some voices even mocked workers  openly hoping that the governor would refuse to pay the bonus. To them, denial of the bonus would serve as proof of political strength and justified retaliation. In reality, such thinking revealed a troubling desire to see governance reduced to personal vendetta. Yet,  it came to pass, the governor chose a path that confounded suspicion. Against all expectations, the 2025 Christmas bonus was paid.
That single decision quietly but firmly reframed the narrative. It showed a leader focused on governance rather than grudges, on institutional continuity rather than emotional satisfaction. The payment was not a favor, nor was it a concession; it was a statement that public administration must rise above personal injury. By honoring the bonus, Governor Fubara demonstrated that leadership is not measured by how hard one strikes back, but by how steady one remains under provocation. He made it clear that workers’ welfare would not become collateral damage in political disagreements. This action also served as a moral rebuke to those who celebrated division and hoped for punishment. Governance is not validated by the suffering of workers, nor is leadership strengthened by withholding entitlements. At the same time, the issue of alleged sycophancy and betrayal within the civil service cannot be brushed aside. If proven, such conduct deserves firm, lawful, and institutional correction. Civil servants are bound by duty to the state, not to political conspiracies or shifting loyalties.
However, justice must never be confused with revenge. The strength of governance lies in correcting wrongs without destroying the system itself. Governor Fubara’s restraint suggested an understanding that the future of Rivers State mattered more than settling scores. For workers, this moment carried an important lesson. Celebration should be rooted in good governance, not in the expectation of another’s downfall. Rejoicing in rumors of denial or punishment undermines the very stability that protects workers’ welfare. Public service thrives where professionalism, mutual respect, and accountability are upheld. Pettiness, gossip, and political scheming only weaken institutions and erode trust. History often remembers leaders not for the crises they inherit, but for the character they display in response. In paying the 2025 Christmas bonus, Governor Fubara chose legacy over impulse, maturity over malice.
And so, it came to pass that focus defeated revenge, governance triumphed over bitterness, and Rivers State was reminded that true leadership is proven when restraint is expected least but delivered most. Beyond the symbolism of the Christmas bonus lies a deeper question about the kind of political culture Rivers State intends to cultivate in the years ahead. Periods of emergency rule, anywhere in the world, often leave behind residues of suspicion, fear, and silent realignments. Institutions do not emerge untouched; individuals recalibrate loyalties, some out of conviction, others out of self-preservation. What distinguishes stable democracies from fragile ones is not the absence of such moments, but the discipline with which leadership manages their aftermath. River.
King Onunwor
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Opinion

That Withdrawal of Police   Orderlies  From VIPs

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5 days ago

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January 2, 2026

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Quote:”Balancing VIP security with public safety remains a tightrope walk in a country where the majority of citizens are still under-protected.”
The Presidential announcement on the removal of police orderlies from persons in authority and their relations  ( Very Important Persons ) last month came as a relief to many Nigerians who felt deprived    of one major  role of government ; security of lives and property.The higher  population of Nigerians  missed needed security because the VIPs and the VVIPs kept  retinue of Police Officers  totalling over 100 ,000 to  themselves and their family members as if they are all that matter  while some  communities under attack of terrorists  have no single unit of  police station located there in. While many hailed the announcement , some said perhaps the government has just woken up to her major responsibility of securing the lives and property of all  citizens while many expressed indifference on the note that it may be one of those pronouncements which come only in words but no action .Many keep their fingers crossed watching how it will play out , how Mr President  will  go about the implementation of the seemingly dicey  policy .
Benjamin Franklin  said “well said is better than well done ”  It is sufficient today to say that many Nigerians including me are still waiting and watching to see  how well  and how long this  return  of the Police service to the ordinary people will go . Wishing hopes will not be crashed ,  It  is note worthy, that  the recent complaints by the VIPs of being exposed to attacks  may in a way affect the action on implementation. Recently, at Senate plenary , another worrisome  angle came up as Senator Abdul Ningi  coming through a motion    disclosed that he had only one police officer attached to him ( his office ) and that  the officer was recalled the week before following  Mr President’s directive  . Senator Ningi said the withdrawal exposed him to high risks but underscored the angle that while his orderly  was recalled , many other politicians , men  and women in authority, business concerns   foreigners  and even children of some  VIPs are still enjoying retinue of police protection ( officially attached to them ).
 It’s note  worthy also that the Deputy Senate President , Distinguished Senator Jibrin Barau,  who presided  over  the session revealed that the  leadership of both chambers are already in discussion with President Tinubu on the need  to exempt  the law makers  from the new policy .  Senator Ningi may not be  wrong . After all he emphasized he is okay  provided that the removal of the Police Orderlies be done across board . Senator Barau noted that talks are on  over the issue of law makers’    in line with international practice . Further details from the Presidency  noted  that   Presiding officers  will retain their  police officers ,  others would have Civil Defense  officers ( NSCDC) as orderlies while  any other VIP who feels he or she deserves personal police protection should get clearance from  his office . In the midst of all  issues weighing in on the proper implementation , it becomes necessary  to bear in mind that  the decision  hinges on  the realization that Nigeria has peculiar security issues (of kidnappings, banditry, and terrorism.) and that  majority of Nigerians   are under protected.
More so, that if well  implemented, Police officers will focus on core duties; even as 30,000 new police officers are to  recruited to enhance security .That implementation  must be made in a  way that leaves no room.for selective  treatment loss of confidence  and  controversies.  Looking at previous attempts of  implementation  of this policy  gives faint hope  as several  attempts consistently failed . Former  IGPs like Tafa Balogun (2003), Ogbonnaya Onovo (2009), and Ibrahim Idris (2018) tried  the policy but all  failed due to political resistance from various angles. All the failed attempts  were tied to lack of political will  mostly due to the fact that the directives came from police chiefs, not the president. Selective Enforcement was another killer to the policy  as  partial implementation  met  resistance   and   later  reversal . Egbetokun (2023) and Adamu (2020) saw minimal impact.
Further more entrenched corruption in the system saw  Politicians and VIPs quietly regain police escorts due to ‘transactional economics”and pressure. Worse still the mindset of the  police officers  withdrawn didn’t help the policy Underpaid police prioritize VIP duties for extra benefits. Many wish President Tinubu’s move can  break this cycle.  As at today, he  still  insists the move is non-negotiable while stressing collaboration with states to upgrade training facilities. As citizens look forward to  success of the policy  without undue exposure of both sides, balancing VIP security with public safety remains a tightrope walk. Talk fades ; action echoes.  How the Presidency  implements this policy.  has  much to tell on the governments stand on national / community  security , choice of priority and the ability to   stand uncomprised . The known  goal is clear:  The outcome is  not yet certain.  Fingers crossed , we await . Definitely , time will tell.
By: Nneka Amaechi-Nnadi.
s State stood at such a crossroads in September 2025. The temptation to rule with a long memory and a heavy hand was real. Yet, the choice made signaled a preference for healing over hardening. Leadership after crisis demands more than administrative competence; it requires moral clarity.
 Governor Fubara’s decision reminded the state that authority is not best exercised through silent punishment or selective generosity. Rather, it is strengthened when rules remain rules, irrespective of personal injury. By keeping faith with workers, the government preserved an essential firewall between politics and public service. That firewall, once breached, turns governance into a battlefield where livelihoods become weapons. Rivers State narrowly avoided that descent. In doing so, it affirmed that institutions must outlive tempers, and governance must not mirror the bitterness of political seasons. This moment also invites sober introspection within the civil service itself. Allegations of partisanship, if left unresolved, corrode professionalism and weaken public confidence. A civil service that drifts into political camps loses its moral authority and operational effectiveness.
Therefore, reform, where necessary, should be guided by due process, transparency, and institutional review—not whispers, witch-hunts, or mob verdicts. Accountability strengthens systems when it is fair; it destroys them when it is arbitrary. The restraint shown by the executive places a corresponding burden on administrative leadership to restore discipline, neutrality, and pride in public service. For the wider political class and the commentariat, the episode serves as a caution against normalizing cruelty as strategy. The eagerness with which some anticipated workers’ suffering revealed a dangerous appetite for scorched-earth politics. When governance becomes a spectator sport where pain is cheered and deprivation is weaponized, society inches toward moral exhaustion. Rivers State has seen enough turbulence to know that stability is not sustained by triumphalism, but by restraint.
The lesson is simple yet profound: power is fleeting, but institutions endure; leaders pass, but precedents remain. In the end, the payment of the 2025 Christmas bonus was more than a fiscal act—it was a civic statement. It told workers they were not expendable. It told political actors that revenge would not be policy. And it told the state that maturity in leadership is not weakness, but strength under control. In a climate where many expected fire, restraint prevailed; where bitterness was predicted, balance emerged. Thus, Rivers State was offered a rare reminder that governance, at its best, is an act of discipline, and leadership, at its highest, is the courage to rise above provocation.
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