Opinion

Lust: The Battle Is On

Published

14 years ago

March 16, 2012

The leaders behind the Every Man book series have Christian men spiritual tools for confronting sexual sin. Plus: Breaking the chains of Sexual Addition. There’s nothing new about lust. It’s been around since the fall of man. Every guy from Adam to your next-door neighbour has dealt with some measure of this internal struggle. But in 1990, a little invention called the Internet went global and suddenly everything changed. Where catching a glimpse of adult-oriented materials once required significant effort, now it became as simple as a late-night trip to the home computer. No longer did men starving for a sexual fantasy have to sneak to the convenience store with a dirty magazine or scurry in and out of an adult video shop.

Almost overnight, pornography turned into 12 billion industries. That’s bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Even worse, the porn culture has increasingly become and accepted part of the mainstream. Some porn stars have been run for political office. “Nobody was prepared for this kind of thing,” says author and speaker Stephen Afterburner. It was so subtle and so many guys got into it because they were curious. So one time they clicked, and then that site started marketing to them all the other sites. Now every day they’ve got 10 or 20 sites asking them to visit. It’s like an alcoholic walking to and every five minutes a guy steps out with a bottle of vodka and says “Here- want a drink?” That’s pretty hard to resist.”

Afterburner, the founder of the New Life Clinics, doesn’t claim to be a prophet, but when he wrote the book Addicted to Love (since updated and re-released as when you Love Too Much) back in 1984, he provided insight into an issue two decades ahead of its time. It was another 14 years, in 1998, before freelance writer, Fred Stoddert was inspired to write a similar book in the topic of sexual addiction. He enlisted help of former Focus on the Family editor, Mike Yorkey to tweak the manuscript. Waterboro Press jumped on the concept, but first brought Afterburner onboard to coauthor what was released in 2000 as Every Man’s Battle. Much of the book is based on Stoddert’s personal struggle with sexual immorality.

“God’s plan is to set sinners free and then use them to teach others,” Stoddert says. “God has been using me in just that way in t he series, and I’m perfectly happy to open my dirty laundry to the world if He’ll be glorified in the process.” “Having sexual integrity doesn’t just mean not crawling into bed with someone who isn’t your husband.” Says Sharmon Ethridge, who has written books for the female side of the series. Every Man’s Felt Need: A first sales were modest, with roughly 1,000 books sold each month. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Every Man’s Battle started to fly if the shelves. “Six months into it, pastors started buying the books by the box.; Afterburner says. “That’s when allof us realised that internet pornography has become such a problem and that church and pastors weren’t ignoring it, they just didn’t know what to do about it. That’s I felt like this (book) was going to change so much.

I got really excited. “The Every Man series has since sold over 10 million copies. Workbooks have been released for all 10 books and devotionals are soon to follow. Tyndale House Every Man’s Bible, Kenny Lack, Founder and president of Every man Ministries, says that it’s the book series unique approach that has resonated with men. “When there’s an agent of openness like Every Man’s Battle that normalize the struggle and adds grace and truth to it. You’re going to have an explosion,” Lack says. “All we did in the series was make men feel normal so they didn’t feel isolated.”

“The success of the series indicates that men have always wanted to rise up and flee their immorality,” Shoddert adds. “They just didn’t know what that looked like in practice. The series teaches exactly what fleeing looks like in real life.” “Lack who also serves as the men’s pastor at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Southern California, was brought in to write the third book, Every Man, God’s Man, which moves the series beyond sexual issues and into the realm of spiritual formation.

The expansion of the series has continued with such titles as Every man’s Marriage and Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s battle. The Every Man phenomenon doesn’t appear to be fading anytime soon. There’s a traveling workshop that’s impacting churches all across the nation and the existing books are starting to make significant movement into the mainstream. Barnes and Noble stores recently began placing. Every Man floor displays in prominent locations. Now book buyers can find a spin-off series (created by Lack) entitled God’s Man.

Arterburner hopes readers will continue moving beyond the base issues that launched Every Man’s Battle and start working towards a deeper, more spiritually rooted relationship with God. “Whatever you’re struggling with, use that as an exercise transforming everything in your life whether it’s a weight problem or alcohol or sexual addition,” Afterburner says. The bigger theme is clearing up these kinds of things so that you can become God’s man or God’s woman.

Breaking the Chains of Sexual Addition, how? Each of the writers from the Every Man’s Battle series is uniquely qualified to tackle the topic of sexual addition. Here are just a few of the practical insights they shared in the book. Steve Afterburner. “You have o admit you have a problem. You have to see it and quit denying and nationalizing. Then you have to do something about it. Doing something about it isn’t just asking God to remove it from you. You need to talk to a pastor or a councilor or someone who can help you. You have to make a connection with someone else so that you have accountability and encouragement. It has to be more than just having good intention.”

Kenny Lack: “I soaked in Scripture and changed my diet from sexual fantasy to God’s Word and worship. You must begin that process of replacement. The margin of victory in men’s lives is usually one other man who is authentic and real. Any place that you get a man who is authentic and real and he’s courageous enough to risk allowing God to use his weakness for ministry, that person’s ministry, that person’s ministry will explode.”

Fred Stoddert: The most effective way for men to protect themselves is to train their eye to bounce away from the sensual in their environment. Sensual imagery release addictive pleasure chemicals in the brain that draw us back for more. To win the physical front in this battle for purity, we need to cut off those addictive highs. To win the spiritual front in the battle, we need to understand God’s standards, and then pray and memorise and apply Scripture until our minds have been washed and transformed, and we no longer see a woman’s beauty as something we’re entitled to steal from. Christ never looked on a woman in a dishonourable way. We must allow our minds to be transformed until we have the mind of Christ in this arena.”

Dr. Akpogena resides in Port Harcourt.

Lewis Akpogena

Opinion

One Attack Too Many

Published

2 days ago

August 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “Ogoniland does not need leaders competing over who can destroy another’s platform; it needs leaders competing over who can create more opportunities, empower youths and build a better future.”

The latest attack by Chief Gani Topba on the President of KAGOTE and Chief Executive Officer of Giolee Global Resources Ltd, Chief Lesi Maol, appears to have opened another troubling chapter in the politics of leadership and influence in Ogoniland. While disagreements are inevitable, the frequency and manner of attacks directed at individuals or organisations contributing to Ogoni development should concern every stakeholder. The concluded extraordinary meeting of Ogoni stakeholders in Bori was convened to deliberate on challenges confronting the people, including insecurity, farmers-herders clashes, youth disunity, education and development. It also considered harmonising the numerous youth organisations operating across Ogoniland under a strong and representative umbrella capable of giving Ogoni youths a more coordinated voice. One would have expected such an initiative to attract constructive contributions, especially from those with reservations about it.

Instead, the gathering and its organisers have come under criticism, raising a fundamental question: what exactly is wrong with Ogoni stakeholders coming together to discuss problems affecting their people? If there are legitimate concerns about the meeting, its organisers or resolutions, such concerns should be supported by facts and subjected to constructive engagement rather than personalised attacks. Leadership is demonstrated through service, sacrifice, participation and results. If Chief Gani Topba believes the stakeholders’ meeting was unnecessary or lacked legitimacy, nothing prevents him from convening another meeting and demonstrating that he can attract traditional rulers, professionals, academics, clergy and youths. Different approaches to development should therefore be allowed to compete on their merits.

The proposal for a unified youth platform should equally not be presented as an attempt to silence Ogoni youths. Rather, it should be examined against the reality of numerous organisations claiming to represent different segments of Ogoni youths. Too many competing organisations can create confusion, weaken collective bargaining power and make it difficult for genuine concerns affecting young people to receive coordinated attention. A credible umbrella body, if properly constituted and broadly accepted, could strengthen the voice of Ogoni youths and provide an organised platform for employment, education, skills acquisition, security and governance. Ogoniland has experienced enough institutional fragmentation. Its history contains painful lessons about divisions that allow personal interests, leadership struggles and competing platforms to overshadow collective objectives. The present generation should learn that destroying institutions one does not control damages society.

The question should be: who benefits when Ogoni youths remain divided and every attempt at unity is interpreted as rivalry? Against this background, KAGOTE deserves objective scrutiny rather than blanket condemnation. Any organisation with influence must be accountable, but accountability is different from a campaign aimed at delegitimising initiatives associated with its leadership. Chief Lesi Maol’s activities through KAGOTE and Giolee Global Resources Ltd have attracted attention in areas including skills development, education, youth empowerment and community support. Such interventions should be assessed on their impact and encouraged where they serve the public good. Those who believe Chief Maol is not doing enough should not stop at criticism. They should show Ogoni what they can do better. Where are the alternative skills programmes? Where are the educational interventions? Where are the youth empowerment schemes? Where are the community development initiatives?

It is easy to criticise someone who is building; it is harder to mobilise resources and sustain programmes that benefit ordinary people. This is not to suggest that Chief Maol or KAGOTE should be immune from criticism. No leader or institution should be beyond scrutiny, and legitimate questions about accountability must be welcomed. But responsible criticism should be based on facts, evidence and alternative ideas. Personal attacks and attempts to destroy initiatives simply because their leadership is not controlled by particular interests cannot provide the solutions Ogoniland needs. What is unfolding is bigger than one meeting, one statement or even two individuals. It reflects a broader contest over influence and leadership. If anyone believes KAGOTE is taking Ogoni in the wrong direction, the response is to present a better direction. If anyone believes Lesi Maol is not doing enough, the answer is to demonstrate what more can be done. Ogoni does not need leaders competing over who can destroy another’s platform; it needs leaders competing over who can create opportunities, improve education, promote security, empower youths and contribute to development.

The people are looking beyond rhetoric. They are examining records, observing programmes and measuring results. No individual owns the permanent right to speak for Ogoni or determine which organisation must survive or collapse. Ogoni must replace the politics of personal control with a culture of ideas, service, accountability and measurable achievement. Differences should produce better alternatives, not destruction. Every Ogoni leader and stakeholder should ask whether his actions are strengthening the region or deepening divisions. Ogoni needs people who can build bridges, institutions, opportunities and hope. Those who genuinely love Ogoni should support what is good, correct what is wrong and offer better alternatives. The future of Ogoni will not be secured by destroying its builders, but by encouraging more people to build.

onest people can reach different conclusions based on different experiences and information. Public debate should therefore remain respectful, evidence-based and open to correction. Truth is strengthened by honest examination, not insults, suspicion or personal attacks. The phrase “Truth has no agenda” carries a powerful message. Truth does not belong to any political party, ethnic group, religion or ideology. It cannot be permanently owned or manipulated by those in power. Governments change, institutions rise and fall, and public opinion shifts, but truth remains indifferent to popularity.The real test of character comes when speaking honestly threatens influence, privilege or personal advantage. It is easy to defend justice when there is nothing to lose. It is far more difficult when the truth may cost us something. That is when conscience must rise above convenience.

Society must therefore cultivate a culture where integrity is valued more than comfort and accountability is welcomed rather than feared. Leaders should learn to accept criticism without hostility, while citizens should express disagreement responsibly. Progress becomes difficult when honest questions are treated as acts of disloyalty. Ultimately, every society must choose the future it desires. A nation built on silence cannot sustain justice, while a community where comfort consistently outweighs conscience risks making injustice ordinary. But people committed to truth, even when inconvenient, lay the foundation for stronger institutions, trustworthy leadership and lasting progress. The call is not to condemn those who succeed or to glorify perpetual criticism. It is to remember that privilege should never silence principle, influence should never replace integrity, and personal gain should never outweigh the public good. Truth has no hidden agenda. It seeks neither applause nor favour. It simply asks to be spoken, defended and lived. When truth is silenced by comfort, everyone eventually pays the price.

By: King Onunwor

Opinion

When Comfort Silences The Truth

Published

2 days ago

August 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “Privilege should never silence principle, influence should never replace integrity, and personal gain should never outweigh the public good.”

There is an old saying that truth does not fear investigation. Genuine truth neither depends on applause nor seeks permission to exist. It remains constant whether celebrated or rejected, defended or ignored. Yet, in today’s society, truth often competes with comfort, convenience, loyalty and personal interest. This raises an important question: Can a person remain objective after beginning to benefit from the very system he once criticised? Throughout history, reform movements have been driven by courageous individuals willing to challenge injustice despite personal risks. Their commitment to truth sometimes cost them popularity, comfort, freedom and even their lives. History has also recorded instances where influential voices became quieter after receiving appointments, promotions, contracts, political favours or other advantages.

While motivations cannot always be known, such patterns remind us that personal benefit can sometimes influence public conviction. Human beings naturally seek security, stability and opportunities for themselves and their families. There is nothing wrong with success or advancement. The concern arises when personal comfort replaces public responsibility, or privilege becomes a reason to ignore problems affecting others. One of the greatest dangers facing society is not only corruption or poor governance but the normalisation of silence. Systems rarely collapse overnight. They deteriorate gradually when people who know better decide that speaking the truth is no longer worth the personal cost. Every society therefore depends on citizens willing to ask difficult questions, demand accountability and defend justice, regardless of who benefits or feels uncomfortable.

A person who benefits from a broken system may become less inclined to challenge it. This is not true of everyone, and individuals should not be judged without evidence. Many principled people continue to advocate reform while working within imperfect institutions. Nevertheless, personal interests can sometimes soften criticism, dilute conviction or redirect attention from uncomfortable realities.Perhaps the greatest threat to truth is not open opposition but quiet compromise. Censorship is easy to recognise; silence purchased through convenience is harder to detect. When people gradually stop asking questions, demanding transparency or defending principles they once considered important, society should ask whether something has changed. Perspectives may genuinely evolve with new information, but incentives can also influence what people say—or choose not to say.

This is why citizens should not place blind trust in personalities. Ideas, principles and actions should be examined independently. Loyalty to individuals must never exceed loyalty to truth. Political affiliation, professional status, financial success or social influence should not exempt anyone from accountability. A healthy democracy depends on independent thinking, not unquestioning allegiance.The responsibility to speak truth does not belong only to journalists, activists, judges, religious leaders or opposition politicians. It belongs to every citizen. The teacher who refuses to manipulate facts, the public servant who rejects corruption, the business owner who acts with integrity, the parent who teaches honesty and the young person who chooses principle over popularity all contribute to a more just society. However, defending truth also requires humility.

We must not assume that everyone who disagrees with us has been compromised.

By: Michael Abraham

Opinion

Poor Federal Roads: The Oshiomhole’s Outburst

Published

2 weeks ago

August 3, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Although the Federal Ministry of Works is responsible for road construction and rehabilitation while the Federal Roads Maintenance Agency (FERMA) oversees maintenance, road maintenance has consistently taken a back seat”

The recent outburst by the lawmaker representing Edo North Senatorial District, Senator Adams Oshiomhole, over the deplorable condition of federal roads in Edo and Delta states has once again drawn national attention to one of Nigeria’s most persistent infrastructure challenges. During Senate plenary last Wednesday, Oshiomhole criticized the Minister of Works, David Umahi, accusing the Federal Ministry of Works of neglecting major federal highways in Edo and Delta while prioritizing new road projects. According to him, the government should focus on rehabilitating existing roads that have become impassable before embarking on new construction. He identified the Benin-Warri, Benin-Asaba, Benin-Auchi and Auchi-Okene highways as strategic economic corridors that have deteriorated to alarming levels, making travel difficult for commuters and motorists while increasing the cost of transporting goods and services.

The senator also alleged that road projects affecting Edo and Delta states were repeatedly omitted from budgetary provisions and that some interventions were only undertaken following directives from President Bola Tinubu. Ironically, the Federal Government has consistently reiterated its commitment to reconstructing and rehabilitating federal roads across the country. The Minister of Works has repeatedly assured Nigerians that the government is deploying reinforced concrete technology to build more durable highways capable of withstanding the country’s climatic conditions. Despite these assurances, vast sections of federal road across the country remain in deplorable condition. The consequences are enormous. Federal highways serve as the backbone of the nation’s economy, carrying more than 90 per cent of passengers and freight.

They connect ports, airports, industrial centres, state capitals and agricultural belts, facilitating the movement of food, fuel, cement and manufactured goods. When these roads fail, the entire economy suffers. Although the Federal Ministry of Works is responsible for road construction and rehabilitation while the Federal Roads Maintenance Agency (FERMA) oversees maintenance, road maintenance has consistently taken a back seat. The result is a recurring cycle in which newly completed roads quickly deteriorate while existing ones are left to collapse. The economic consequences are severe. Bad roads increase transportation costs, contribute to food inflation, delay the movement of goods from ports to markets, increase vehicle maintenance expenses and lead to avoidable road crashes that claim countless lives every year.

To address these challenges, the Federal Government has introduced initiatives such as the Highway Development and Management Initiative (HDMI), which seeks to attract private investment into road maintenance through concessions and tolling. While the initiative holds promise, public acceptance will depend largely on visible improvements in road quality and transparent management of toll revenues. Similarly, the Road Infrastructure Tax Credit Scheme is designed to encourage companies to finance the reconstruction of strategic highways in exchange for tax credits. While the scheme has shown promise, its ability to address road infrastructure challenges equitably across the country remains to be seen. Other countries facing similar infrastructure challenges have demonstrated that sustainable road management requires a different approach.

Rwanda and Morocco, for instance, have prioritized dedicated road maintenance funds, performance-based contracts that reward quality rather than kilometers constructed, and policies that allocate a significant proportion of road budgets to maintenance instead of new construction. Nigeria can draw useful lessons from these experiences. Maintenance funding should be increased and protected because preventive maintenance is far cheaper than complete reconstruction. Public-private partnerships should be expanded with adequate safeguards, transparent tolling policies and independent monitoring. Development finance institutions should support contractors with affordable financing to minimize disruptions caused by delayed government payments. Road designs should withstand heavier rainfall and flooding, while compensation and right-of-way issues must be resolved before projects begin to avoid unnecessary delays.

FERMA should also prioritize durable, high-quality road maintenance over the shoddy repairs that have become all too common. Ultimately, Nigerians are not asking for perfect roads; they simply want roads that are safe, durable and properly maintained. While new highways are desirable, a well-maintained five-kilometer stretch is often far more valuable to road users than a much longer road that quickly falls into disrepair. The media, civil society, the National Assembly and Nigerians must continue to hold the government accountable by monitoring road projects and demanding better results. Good roads are not a privilege but a right of every citizen. With tax credit schemes, concessions and other funding mechanisms already in place, what is now required is political will, transparency and consistent implementation. However, Senator Oshiomhole’s criticism also invites legitimate public reflection.

Many Nigerians have asked what the condition of these same federal roads was during his eight-year tenure as Governor of Edo State. Several governors, including those of Rivers State at different times, undertook repairs on critical federal roads within their states and subsequently sought reimbursement from the Federal Government. It is therefore fair to ask whether similar interventions were pursued during Oshiomhole’s administration. Public officials, whether serving or former, should be judged by the same standard. Constructive criticism is essential in a democracy, but it carries greater weight when matched by a demonstrable record of action. Nigerians expect those entrusted with public office to address pressing challenges while they have the authority to do so, rather than becoming vocal critics only after leaving office