Opinion
Lust: The Battle Is On
The leaders behind the Every Man book series have Christian men spiritual tools for confronting sexual sin. Plus: Breaking the chains of Sexual Addition. There’s nothing new about lust. It’s been around since the fall of man. Every guy from Adam to your next-door neighbour has dealt with some measure of this internal struggle. But in 1990, a little invention called the Internet went global and suddenly everything changed. Where catching a glimpse of adult-oriented materials once required significant effort, now it became as simple as a late-night trip to the home computer. No longer did men starving for a sexual fantasy have to sneak to the convenience store with a dirty magazine or scurry in and out of an adult video shop.
Almost overnight, pornography turned into 12 billion industries. That’s bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Even worse, the porn culture has increasingly become and accepted part of the mainstream. Some porn stars have been run for political office. “Nobody was prepared for this kind of thing,” says author and speaker Stephen Afterburner. It was so subtle and so many guys got into it because they were curious. So one time they clicked, and then that site started marketing to them all the other sites. Now every day they’ve got 10 or 20 sites asking them to visit. It’s like an alcoholic walking to and every five minutes a guy steps out with a bottle of vodka and says “Here- want a drink?” That’s pretty hard to resist.”
Afterburner, the founder of the New Life Clinics, doesn’t claim to be a prophet, but when he wrote the book Addicted to Love (since updated and re-released as when you Love Too Much) back in 1984, he provided insight into an issue two decades ahead of its time. It was another 14 years, in 1998, before freelance writer, Fred Stoddert was inspired to write a similar book in the topic of sexual addiction. He enlisted help of former Focus on the Family editor, Mike Yorkey to tweak the manuscript. Waterboro Press jumped on the concept, but first brought Afterburner onboard to coauthor what was released in 2000 as Every Man’s Battle. Much of the book is based on Stoddert’s personal struggle with sexual immorality.
“God’s plan is to set sinners free and then use them to teach others,” Stoddert says. “God has been using me in just that way in t he series, and I’m perfectly happy to open my dirty laundry to the world if He’ll be glorified in the process.” “Having sexual integrity doesn’t just mean not crawling into bed with someone who isn’t your husband.” Says Sharmon Ethridge, who has written books for the female side of the series. Every Man’s Felt Need: A first sales were modest, with roughly 1,000 books sold each month. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Every Man’s Battle started to fly if the shelves. “Six months into it, pastors started buying the books by the box.; Afterburner says. “That’s when allof us realised that internet pornography has become such a problem and that church and pastors weren’t ignoring it, they just didn’t know what to do about it. That’s I felt like this (book) was going to change so much.
I got really excited. “The Every Man series has since sold over 10 million copies. Workbooks have been released for all 10 books and devotionals are soon to follow. Tyndale House Every Man’s Bible, Kenny Lack, Founder and president of Every man Ministries, says that it’s the book series unique approach that has resonated with men. “When there’s an agent of openness like Every Man’s Battle that normalize the struggle and adds grace and truth to it. You’re going to have an explosion,” Lack says. “All we did in the series was make men feel normal so they didn’t feel isolated.”
“The success of the series indicates that men have always wanted to rise up and flee their immorality,” Shoddert adds. “They just didn’t know what that looked like in practice. The series teaches exactly what fleeing looks like in real life.” “Lack who also serves as the men’s pastor at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Southern California, was brought in to write the third book, Every Man, God’s Man, which moves the series beyond sexual issues and into the realm of spiritual formation.
The expansion of the series has continued with such titles as Every man’s Marriage and Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s battle. The Every Man phenomenon doesn’t appear to be fading anytime soon. There’s a traveling workshop that’s impacting churches all across the nation and the existing books are starting to make significant movement into the mainstream. Barnes and Noble stores recently began placing. Every Man floor displays in prominent locations. Now book buyers can find a spin-off series (created by Lack) entitled God’s Man.
Arterburner hopes readers will continue moving beyond the base issues that launched Every Man’s Battle and start working towards a deeper, more spiritually rooted relationship with God. “Whatever you’re struggling with, use that as an exercise transforming everything in your life whether it’s a weight problem or alcohol or sexual addition,” Afterburner says. The bigger theme is clearing up these kinds of things so that you can become God’s man or God’s woman.
Breaking the Chains of Sexual Addition, how? Each of the writers from the Every Man’s Battle series is uniquely qualified to tackle the topic of sexual addition. Here are just a few of the practical insights they shared in the book. Steve Afterburner. “You have o admit you have a problem. You have to see it and quit denying and nationalizing. Then you have to do something about it. Doing something about it isn’t just asking God to remove it from you. You need to talk to a pastor or a councilor or someone who can help you. You have to make a connection with someone else so that you have accountability and encouragement. It has to be more than just having good intention.”
Kenny Lack: “I soaked in Scripture and changed my diet from sexual fantasy to God’s Word and worship. You must begin that process of replacement. The margin of victory in men’s lives is usually one other man who is authentic and real. Any place that you get a man who is authentic and real and he’s courageous enough to risk allowing God to use his weakness for ministry, that person’s ministry, that person’s ministry will explode.”
Fred Stoddert: The most effective way for men to protect themselves is to train their eye to bounce away from the sensual in their environment. Sensual imagery release addictive pleasure chemicals in the brain that draw us back for more. To win the physical front in this battle for purity, we need to cut off those addictive highs. To win the spiritual front in the battle, we need to understand God’s standards, and then pray and memorise and apply Scripture until our minds have been washed and transformed, and we no longer see a woman’s beauty as something we’re entitled to steal from. Christ never looked on a woman in a dishonourable way. We must allow our minds to be transformed until we have the mind of Christ in this arena.”
Dr. Akpogena resides in Port Harcourt.
Lewis Akpogena
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
Opinion
Ndifon’s Verdict and University Power Reform
Opinion
As Nigeria’s Insecurity Rings Alarm
-
Politics4 days agoSenate Receives Tinubu’s 2026-2028 MTEF/FSP For Approval
-
Sports4 days agoNew W.White Cup: GSS Elekahia Emerged Champions
-
Sports4 days agoAllStars Club Renovates Tennis Court… Appeal to Stop Misuse
-
Sports4 days ago
Players Battle For Honours At PH International Polo Tourney
-
News4 days agoRSG Lists Key Areas of 2026 Budget
-
Sports4 days ago
NFF To Discuss Unpaid Salaries Surrounding S’Eagles Coach
-
News4 days agoDangote Unveils N100bn Education Fund For Nigerian Students
-
Sports4 days ago
2025 AFCON: Things to know about Nigeria’s opponents In Group C
