Lust: The Battle Is On

The leaders behind the Every Man book series have Christian men spiritual tools for confronting sexual sin. Plus: Breaking the chains of Sexual Addition. There’s nothing new about lust. It’s been around since the fall of man. Every guy from Adam to your next-door neighbour has dealt with some measure of this internal struggle. But in 1990, a little invention called the Internet went global and suddenly everything changed. Where catching a glimpse of adult-oriented materials once required significant effort, now it became as simple as a late-night trip to the home computer. No longer did men starving for a sexual fantasy have to sneak to the convenience store with a dirty magazine or scurry in and out of an adult video shop.

Almost overnight, pornography turned into 12 billion industries. That’s bigger than the NFL, NBA and Major League Baseball combined. Even worse, the porn culture has increasingly become and accepted part of the mainstream. Some porn stars have been run for political office. “Nobody was prepared for this kind of thing,” says author and speaker Stephen Afterburner. It was so subtle and so many guys got into it because they were curious. So one time they clicked, and then that site started marketing to them all the other sites. Now every day they’ve got 10 or 20 sites asking them to visit. It’s like an alcoholic walking to and every five minutes a guy steps out with a bottle of vodka and says “Here- want a drink?” That’s pretty hard to resist.”

Afterburner, the founder of the New Life Clinics, doesn’t claim to be a prophet, but when he wrote the book Addicted to Love (since updated and re-released as when you Love Too Much) back in 1984, he provided insight into an issue two decades ahead of its time. It was another 14 years, in 1998, before freelance writer, Fred Stoddert was inspired to write a similar book in the topic of sexual addiction. He enlisted help of former Focus on the Family editor, Mike Yorkey to tweak the manuscript. Waterboro Press jumped on the concept, but first brought Afterburner onboard to coauthor what was released in 2000 as Every Man’s Battle. Much of the book is based on Stoddert’s personal struggle with sexual immorality.

“God’s plan is to set sinners free and then use them to teach others,” Stoddert says. “God has been using me in just that way in t he series, and I’m perfectly happy to open my dirty laundry to the world if He’ll be glorified in the process.” “Having sexual integrity doesn’t just mean  not crawling into bed with someone who isn’t your husband.” Says Sharmon Ethridge, who has written books for the female side of the series. Every Man’s Felt Need: A first sales were modest, with roughly 1,000 books sold each month. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Every Man’s Battle started to fly if  the shelves. “Six months into it, pastors started buying the books by the box.; Afterburner says. “That’s when allof us realised that internet pornography has become such a problem and that church and pastors weren’t ignoring it, they just didn’t know what to do about it. That’s I felt like this (book) was going to change so much.

I got really excited. “The Every Man series has since sold over 10 million copies. Workbooks have been released for all 10 books and devotionals are soon to follow. Tyndale House Every Man’s Bible, Kenny Lack, Founder and president of Every man Ministries, says that it’s the book series unique approach that has resonated with men. “When there’s an agent of openness like Every Man’s Battle that normalize the struggle and adds grace and truth to it. You’re going to have an explosion,” Lack says. “All we did in the series was make men feel normal so they didn’t feel isolated.”

“The success of the series indicates that men have always wanted to rise up and flee their immorality,” Shoddert adds. “They just didn’t know what that looked like in practice. The series teaches exactly what fleeing looks like in real life.” “Lack who also serves as the men’s pastor at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Southern California, was brought in to write the third book, Every Man, God’s Man, which moves the series beyond sexual issues and into the realm of spiritual formation.

The expansion of the series has continued with such titles as Every man’s Marriage and Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s battle. The Every Man phenomenon doesn’t appear to be fading anytime soon. There’s a traveling workshop that’s impacting churches all across the nation and the existing books are starting to make significant movement into the mainstream. Barnes and Noble stores recently began placing. Every Man floor displays in prominent locations. Now book buyers can find a spin-off series (created by Lack) entitled God’s Man.

Arterburner hopes readers will continue moving beyond the base issues that launched Every Man’s Battle and start working towards a deeper, more spiritually rooted relationship with God. “Whatever you’re struggling with, use that as an exercise transforming everything in your life whether it’s a weight problem or alcohol or sexual addition,” Afterburner says. The bigger theme is clearing up these kinds of things so that you can become God’s man or God’s woman.

Breaking the Chains of Sexual Addition, how? Each of the writers from the Every Man’s Battle series is uniquely qualified to tackle the topic of sexual addition. Here are just a few of the practical insights they shared in the book. Steve Afterburner. “You have o admit you have a problem. You have to see it and quit denying and nationalizing. Then you have to do something about it. Doing something about it isn’t just asking God to remove it from you. You need to talk to a pastor or a councilor or someone who can help you. You have to make a connection with someone else so that you have accountability and encouragement. It has to be more than just having good intention.”

Kenny Lack: “I soaked in Scripture and changed my diet from sexual fantasy to God’s Word and worship. You must begin that process of replacement. The margin of victory in men’s lives is usually one other man who is authentic and real. Any place that you get a man who is authentic and real and he’s courageous enough to risk allowing God to use his weakness for ministry, that person’s ministry, that person’s ministry will explode.”

Fred Stoddert: The most effective way for men to protect themselves is to train their eye to bounce away from the sensual in their environment. Sensual imagery release addictive pleasure chemicals in the brain that draw us back for more. To win the physical front in this battle for purity, we need to cut off those addictive highs. To win the spiritual front in the battle, we need to understand God’s standards, and then pray and memorise and apply Scripture until our minds have been washed and transformed, and we no longer see a woman’s beauty as something we’re entitled to steal from. Christ never looked on a woman in a dishonourable way. We must allow our minds to be transformed until we have the mind of Christ in this arena.”

Dr. Akpogena resides in Port Harcourt.

Lewis Akpogena