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Whither The Family Values?

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Children are the future
leaders of any soceity,” therefore, a broken soceity traces its decay to the family.
The family as the strength and pillar of every society is known for good moral which is usually inculcated from one generation to another through the children and even to the children unborn. It is the primary responsibility of every parent to ensure cultural values of societies do not go  extinct. The family is highly regarded because character and societal value are molded from infancy. Morals and good values are passed on to the children through their parents and such trait is maintained  in building a habitable society.
Today, the rate of moral decadence is so alarming that one begins to wonder where the family is heading for.
In Nigeria, each ethnic group is known for their peculiarities which is not devoid of respect, good ethics, holding of  cultural values in high esteem, hospitality, respect for elders, loyalty to authorities, adherence to parents’ training, exemplary living, obedience to parents decissions, adherence to societal rules and regulations.
Disappointedly, twenty-first century families have witnessed pains in homes, different levels of immoralities, disrespect to elders, and disobedience to societal laws. This is simply becaus the family has failed in its core role of molding lives and values. Everything is shifted to the ¢hurch as the quest for wealth acquisition, education, career building, politics, has replaced the importance placed on family values in Nigeria.
However, we are today faced with a society where family values are irrelevant, culture is no longer vital, internet has replaced every importance of  cultural inclination that is imbibed in people as they grow and receive training from their family starting from the cradle. We are now battling with the devastating negative influence brought to us by popular culture not only that the magnitude and approach employed the cable stations is encouraging the popular culture in strengthening their channels by capturing our airspace, dictating for us and our families what food we should eat, what:we should wear as in being trendy (fashion) , what language we should speak what our manners should look like, how we analyse issues of importance and things like that.
It is disheartening to note that with all the decadence going on, no attention or measure is put in.place to check the situation.
As each.day passes by, we are faced with more and more decay which springs from the lapses the family has created, degenerating into the larger socicty thereby resulting in high crime rate and corruption in all sectors of our economy and government.
Instead of sitting back to strategise ways of curbing our dilemma, we abandon it for more wealth pursuit while we fold our arms and watch the crime rate escalate in a geometric progression on daily basis.
It is no longer news that children cannot speak their dialect, even those leaving in state capitals of their own states cannot speak their own dialect fluently and one may begin to wonder, what will become of this nation Nigeria in 20years to come if parents still treat this decadence with laxity?
The twenty first century generation needs to be called back to order and the ball is in the court of the family to repair the damage done already. The family is the smallest group out of the larger society and if things are not properly done; we would keep suffering the crime which is usually the resultant effect of family negligence which spreads to the society at large.
We need to restructure our homes by having consistent family meetings starting from the nuclear families of just the father, mother and the children, to the larger family.
There is an urgent need to bring order and sanity to our homes. We all have a part to play if we must enjoy our old age. If we ignore these family values the way it was passed to us by our own parents, grand-parents, when men treasured culture and family values, posterity will definitely ask us and certainly, we will be held responsible for whatever harm our laxity causes in the future.
Moreso, if we keep quiet and feel it’s not our business  we will be like Eli, of the Bible story, who reaped the consequence of his children’s misbehaviours simply because he kept quiet where he was supposed to and ofcourse the resultant effect was more damaging than anticipated.
In looking at this repair of family values, we must understand that children learn by example. We only make impact if we can make out time to stay with them regularly to instruct, teach and correct, not leaving them in the hands of house helps just because our work do not permit us spend quality time with them. We must choose which is more essential to us, our children or our jobs and career?
We can only make huge sacrifice if we see the need to be responsible for our families individually and collectively as a society. We will never cease to appreciate our parents who had many children and, yet they were able to nurse, carter and stand by us, made themselves avaialble at all times.
Perpahs we need to imagine what would have become of us if they had abandoned us the same way we are handling our own children today.
To all and sundry, espeically thos that are hoping to have family they would call their own it is a clarion call to  note  that family does not just end with marriage to a heartthrob or to the love of one’s life as we proclaim, it does not also end in producing children because one is fertile and productive. it does not end at having the money to take care of a woman and do the necessary traditional rites.
Marriage is a full responsibility that everyone who ventures into is held bound to make it work by seeing that the society which is the identity of every individual does not fail because of craze and quest for money and career.
All hands must be on deck to ensure we build a better future for our soceity. It is pertinent, therefore, to fight the raging negative influence popular culture now has on us.
The harm of cultural decadence is numerous. The incessant increase in co-habitation among young people especially in our tertiary institutions cannot be over emphasized. Parents lose their children quarterly to the young boys who impregnate them.
No  child who receives proper home training would think of living with a boy or even a man who has not paid her bride prize, but, the lapse has been created by popular culture and young people now see this trend as a norm to live together without the knowledge of their parents on campuses, even in cities like Lagos, Portharcourt and every other major city in our country Nigeria.
Parents may not understand the magnitude of co-habitation in our campuses, but the truth is that it has become a trend that when anyone of both sexes says he or she doesn’t have a boy friend among their peers, they make mockery and caricature of such one whereas, where values are cherished and upheld, such can never be any issue of contention because, children raised in a family with good values always have at the back of their mind that it is not in any way allowed or permitted to live with anyone, man or woman where all the necessary traditional rites are not conducted and completed.
Personal hygiene is an aspect that is totally lacking in this generation of children. This is simply because, parents surround their children with numerous house helps, some families have as many as six maids and house chores are shared among them and the children just fold their hands on their laptops, keep surfing the net, pinging, browsing from one social media to the other and watching all manner of nude pictures and all manner of horror films, at the end, we see where rape, incest has become a life style in homes with or without the parents idea.
Parents have refused to monitor their children because of the free hand and internet access available at their disposal.
However, we can still revive our family values if we see the need to take up certain jobs that can allow us stay close to our children like teaching and entrepreneurship. The media also has a huge role to play in re-orientating people especially, the electronic media through play-lets, dramas as were seen in the days of Zebudiya. There is the need to create programmes that are family value – oriented for a better society and schools from primary school should review their curriculum and programme in such a way that various channels should be used to impact on the lives of these young ones.

Njoku resides in Port Harcourt

 

L-R: Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Women Affairs, Hajiya Habiba Lawal; Minister of Women Affairs, and Social Development, Hajiya Zainab Maina; Head of The Civil Service of The Federation, Alhaji Bukar Goni-aji And Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Tourism, Culture And National Orientation, Mrs Nkechi Ejele, During A Courtesy Visit By The Head of Service To The Minister Of Women Affairs In Abuja, yesterday.

L-R: Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Women Affairs, Hajiya Habiba Lawal; Minister of Women Affairs, and Social Development, Hajiya Zainab Maina; Head of The Civil Service of The Federation, Alhaji Bukar Goni-aji And Permanent Secretary, Ministry Of Tourism, Culture And National Orientation, Mrs Nkechi Ejele, During A Courtesy Visit By The Head of Service To The Minister Of Women Affairs In Abuja, yesterday.

Chidima Njoku

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Women

How to Tackle Child Rape

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Child rape is a profound human rights violation that inflicts lasting physical, emotional, and psychological scars on its victims.
Among the most vulnerable groups, girl children face a disproportionate amount of sexual abuse globally, reflecting deep-rooted societal, cultural, and systemic failures.
Despite international laws and local measures aimed at protecting children, rape and sexual violence against girl children remain a pervasive problem in many parts of the world.  The rape of girl children is alarmingly prevalent worldwide.
According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), one in four girls experiences some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. This abuse occurs across all socio-economic, cultural, and geographical divides. The underreporting of sexual violence against children, fueled by fear, stigma, and victim-blaming, makes it difficult to grasp the true scale of the problem.
Reports from organizations like UNICEF and Human Rights Watch highlight that in some regions, girl children are specifically targeted due to the belief that they are “pure” or “virgin,” making them more vulnerable to cultural myths that suggest intercourse with a virgin can cure diseases like HIV/AIDS. These deeply harmful beliefs exacerbate the risk for young girls, particularly in countries where educational and legal protections are weak.
A range of factors contributes to the high incidence of rape against girl children, many of which are embedded in patriarchal and misogynistic beliefs. In some cultures, girls are viewed as inferior or subservient to males, making them easy targets for exploitation. The normalization of gender-based violence in some communities means that abuse often goes unnoticed, unreported, or unpunished.
Child marriages, which remain prevalent in some parts of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, are another contributing factor. When girls are married off as children, they are often exposed to sexual violence under the guise of marital relations. These young brides, who are typically powerless in these situations, often endure repeated sexual abuse from their significantly older husbands.
Additionally, in conflict zones, girl children are disproportionately affected by sexual violence, used as tools of war by armed groups to terrorize communities. Such exploitation results in severe trauma and long-lasting consequences for victims.
Rape and sexual abuse leave devastating effects on a girl child, both physically and mentally. Physically, young girls are not developed enough to handle sexual intercourse, leading to severe injuries, infections, and even death in extreme cases. Many victims also face long-term reproductive health issues, including infertility, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and complications in future pregnancies.
The psychological toll is equally profound. Victims often suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health conditions. The stigma associated with sexual violence further isolates them from their families and communities, leaving them vulnerable to further exploitation or abuse.
The educational consequences are also significant. Many victims drop out of school due to the trauma, fear of facing their abusers, or the stigma attached to rape. This creates a cycle of poverty and dependence, further reducing their life chances.
Access to justice for child rape victims is often fraught with challenges. In many countries, laws around sexual violence are outdated, under-enforced, or not well understood. Law enforcement agencies frequently lack the training or resources to handle cases of child sexual abuse appropriately, leading to further victimization during investigations.
In some cases, cultural practices such as “settling” rape cases between families, or forcing victims to marry their rapists, prevent victims from receiving the justice they deserve. This not only robs the victim of agency but perpetuates a culture of impunity where perpetrators feel empowered to commit further acts of violence.
Additionally, the social stigma surrounding rape prevents many girl children from coming forward. Fear of blame, retaliation, or being ostracized by their communities often keeps victims silent, allowing abusers to continue their crimes unchecked.
Internationally, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) and the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) both call for an end to all forms of violence against children, including sexual abuse. Organizations such as UNICEF, Plan International, and Save the Children have been instrumental in raising awareness, supporting survivors, and lobbying for stronger laws and protections.
On a national level, many countries have taken steps to strengthen legal frameworks to protect children from sexual violence. Child protection laws, survivor-centered legal reforms, and harsher penalties for offenders have been introduced in several countries. However, effective implementation remains a challenge in many places due to corruption, weak legal systems, and deep-seated cultural barriers.
To truly address the epidemic of child rape, a multi-faceted approach is needed that tackles the root causes of the problem.
 Education and Empowerment of girl-children can go a long way in preventing rape cases in the society.  Educating girls about their rights, providing them with life skills, and empowering them to speak out against violence are crucial steps in preventing abuse. Equally important is educating boys and men about consent, respect, and gender equality to shift harmful patriarchal norms.
Girls and women need stronger legal protection to escape some the rape cases that occur regularly. Governments must prioritize the implementation of robust child protection laws, ensuring that law enforcement agents are  well-trained and sensitized to handle cases of child rape. Special courts for handling cases involving children, victim support services, and protective measures should be readily available to survivors.
If we have to curb child rape menace, community engagement must be included in the process. Engaging communities to change attitudes toward girl-children and dismantling harmful gender norms is essential. Community leaders, religious figures, and educators can play a pivotal role in shifting mindsets and promoting zero tolerance for violence against children.
Furthermore, there is the need for support for survivours of rape. Comprehensive support systems for survivors are critical for the rest of their lives. These include access to psychological counselling, medical care, legal aid, and safe spaces where victims can heal and rebuild their lives. Schools should also provide supportive environments to help victims continue their education without fear of stigma or discrimination.
 Global Advocacy and Accountability from World Health Organisation (WHO), UNICEF, and other relevant agencies should as a matter of fact continue to create more awareness  and sensitization on the need to save the girl-child.  International organizations and governments must continue to advocate for the protection of children’s rights, ensuring that perpetrators are held accountable. Monitoring mechanisms, transparency in legal proceedings, and collaboration between countries are key to fighting transnational issues like child trafficking for sexual exploitation.
It is worrisome to note in this 21st century, as the world is a global village, fully digitalized, when the girl-children should be allowed to showcase their potentials, instead they are trafficked to do jobs that will harm their lives.
Parents particularly, should have the number of children they can cater for.  They should also pay attention to the ones they have.
Moreso,  the boy-children and the men should be sensitized on the need to stop the menace.
Rape and sexual violence against girl-children is one of the gravest injustices of our time, robbing millions of their childhoods and futures. While progress has been made, there is still much work to be done to protect the most vulnerable among us. It is only through collective action, from governments, communities, families, and international organizations, that we can create a world where girl- children are safe, empowered, and free from violence.
Perpetual  Oluchi Izuegbunam
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Women

Who Is A Classic Woman? 

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A classic woman is one  who has identified herself in terms of fashion, occupation  or the kind of business she does.
A woman can be classical in the way she entertains her audience in terms of music and movies.  You will discover that some female musicians are identified with the kind of music they sing.
A classical woman is one who always wants to appear trendy.
Generally, classical women are normally identified with the kind of things they are involved in.
There are ladies that want to be identified with wearing of shorts (short trousers) in the public. They use it to showcase their beauty. They want to be identified with such things as they see it as socialisation.
Some wear trousers that are so tight just to showcase all the curves they possess.
Consultant stylists and etiquette experts say some fashions won by some persons are inappropriate because of how and when they are won.
A classic woman is supposed to dress properly.   She should  be able to wear clothes  that will not expose hidden parts of her body. When such occurs,  then it is indecent dressing.
Ladies should be known for two things, classical and beauty.  One can be classic with minimisation.  The minimum woman should go is to look good, decent and presentable.
Some ladies like wearing short skirts but no matter  how short the skirt is,  it should look elegant. The skirt  should not be too short like the mini-skirt.
Dressing or fashion depends on the environment the persons finds herself.  The kind of clothes won to the office may be different from the one won at home. Likewise,  a dress won to a party may be different from the one won too swimming pool.
For one to look classical or decent, body shape should be taken into consideration.
Colours of a particular fashion can make one look odd or nice.  Looking model does not mean that one should go naked or dull.
Don’t wear clothes  that you need to drag from time to time in order not to expose yourself.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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Emohua Widows Receive Items From Ogbakor Ikwerre California

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A Non-Governmental Organization, (NGO) Ogbakor Ikwerre,California, DBA, Ikwerre Community Association, California, through it’s outreach projects has donated food items to over 300 Widows in Rumuekpe and Rumuji in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.
Speaking during the handover of the items to the women leaders of the communities in Emohua, yesterday, the team leader of the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California, Dr Christiana Chukumati, said that the donation is an annual event that has  been on since 2014.
According to her, the NGO is donating the items among the four local government area of Ikwerre adding that this year is for widows in Rumuekpe and Rumuji communities.
“Today is Rumuekpe and Rumuji communities, next we are going to another Ikwerre local government area also.
” The NGO has been carrying on the activities since 2014 within the
Ikwerre communities”, Dr Chukumati said.
She thanked the Royal father of Rumuekpe, His Royal Highness, Golden Amb. Christian Amadi, Eze Chigu and the Royal Highness of Rumuji and Odegu Kingdom, Ohna Christian Okachineke Elechi Newe-Eli (the xv) for receiving them in their communities.
The team leader also promised the Royal Highness that whenever the NGO has any other items for the communities, she we do well to bring it to them.
Receiving the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California in Rumuekpe, His Royal Highness Golden Christian Amadi, praised the NGO for funding his clan among the communities.
According to the Highness, my community is the only oil producing community in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State, adding that his community is feeding the local government area, the state and the nation.
“I thank my children over there in California for remembering the widows in my Kingdom for the food items they brought.
” I pray to God to help them to do also to other Ikwerre communities.
” I want to tell them also that Rumuekpe Kingdom is till undeveloped.
” As you can see the community is nothing to show to the people, I want to beg the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) and the Rivers State government to come to our aid to develop our community. We are underdeveloped”
“God will bless my children over there in California”,  His Royal Highness Amadi prayed.
In her words, the women leader of Rumuekpe community, Comfort Njoku, said that she was happy for the gift items given to them adding that it is not easy to remember the widows.
She explained that in Rumuekpe, the widows have not seen such a gift before and  prayed that is only God that will reward them.
“I want to thank the Ogbakor Ikweree Community Association in California for giving us this items in this festival. We thank God for them and the leader of the group,  Mrs Chukumati.
” What we received today we have not seen it in our community before for widows”, Mrs Njoku stated.
Meanwhile,  in Rumuji community, His Royal Highness, Ohna Christian Okachineke Elechi, said that he lacked words to thank the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California for the gift to the widows in his communities.
According to him, today is historic in the history of Rumuji community that our children in oversea can remember us, I am very excited and happy over the items.
“I feel very very happy, it is good that our children recognize the widows in my community today.
” I did not know them before but now I  know them, I pray to God Almighty to pay them back for their effort and that they will not lack.
“I pray God to continue to bless them in whatever things they are doing”  he stated.
Earlier, the oldest woman in Rumuji community,  Nletem Josiah, who spoke in her local language interpreted by the woman leader, Agor Leah Onugbom, thanked the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California for the gift adding that her husband died many years ago that has caused her hardship.
” In my age and these people come and give me these food items,  is only God that will bless them for me.
” This Xmas I will eat and be happy so I want to thank them and that my God, God will bless them for me”,  Mama Josiah said.
By: Kiadum Edookor
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