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Women

The Plight Of The Girl- Child (1)

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Participants at a workshop on gender based violence organised by United Nations Women in Conjunction with Unicef in Gombe on Wednesday

Participants at a workshop on gender based violence organised by United Nations Women in Conjunction with Unicef in Gombe on Wednesday

For a person to be
termed a woman, she must have been a girl. Gender discrimination therefore is not restricted by age. It starts the very day the girl child is delivered. Thus, from birth, she suffers condemnation, neglect and disdain. This is enhanced as she grows into a woman.
The girl-child is taught to accept the role of the woman primarily as wife and mother and to fullfil certain economic needs prematurely, whereas from boyhood, the males are already taught to assume the dominant role.
From birth, the girl-child is stigmatized. In some    homes today, if a girl child is born, the father of the child becomes unhappy and sometimes puts the wife away for not being able to bear him a male child, or marries a second wife for that reason.
A child was born and the friend of the man visited the family and demanded that the good news be celebrated, on the contrary, the father of the child retorted by saying, “there is nothing to celebrate, its another mistake.” This is the extent to which the girl child has been looked at as a second class citizen.
Following the above, the girl child who is seen as  a second class citizen is relegated to carry out household chores and eventually given out in marriage so as to get the bride price to train the boy child in school.
The girl child who is domineered by the society of men in all her endeavours faces more serious violation.  For instance, female genital mutilation which is practised as a way of ensuring  that women are not promiscuous, is very harmful to the reproductive health.
Male circumcision is an acceptable practice worldwide for religious and aesthetic reasons. On the contrary, female circumcision is harmful to woman’s reproductive health, and it implies the mutilation of the female genital for ulterior motives i.e. to forestall erotic sensation in order to preserve virginity and chastity.
Thus, women are quasi castrated for men’s purposes and this is against human rights. At this point, I would like to say that who ever wants to get spoilt will get spoilt and who ever wants to be good will be good, parents who are practising this should stop.
Women circumcision is a harmful practice which hampers their reproductive rights and as such is repugnant.
The effect of female genital  mutilation is encompassing. The girl child suffers pronounced physical disabilities and even psychological trauma. It has been noted that quite often, primitive steps have been taken to gain success in this act which requires the use of unsterilized tools which cause HIV/AIDS infection.
This experience does not only cause pains, it introduces shock, hemorrhage, injury to adjacent organs and could also cause death.
Furthermore, female genital mutilation causes painful and prolonged menstrual flow thereby increasing the incidence of anaemia.  It could also cause painful coitus i.e painful sexual intercourse.
Considering the effect of genital mutilation, it could be quickly reached and truely too, that such practice is not only harmful but, it is repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience.
Although, it has been assumed that the reason for genital mutilation is that if the clitoris is cut off, it will reduce the sex drive in women, thus cutting down on prostitution. But following recent research, it has been proved that the  clitoris is usually chopped off during circumcision.
Female genital mutilation has no relationship with female sexual drive. Thus, the practice of female genital mutilation infringes on the rights and dignity of the woman or girl child which ought to be protected.
The collective effect of the municipal and international conventions is that such acts that are tagged harmful practices should be prohibited and females should be protected from those degrading inhuman practices. A practice that renders the girl child entirely hopeless and useless. It’s effect introduces incessant bad odour, depletion of self image and the effect of inward analytical disturbances, one that affects her psyche. Something she has to live with in her entire life time.
Another instance is early marriage.  Child marriage is a bane in the Muslim North. Very young girls are in effect forced into assuming the monumental responsibilities of wife and mother prematurely.
The aftermath of such brazen sexual violation is the incidence of Vesico-Vaginal Fistula (VVF) as well as Recto-Vaginal Fistula (RVF) among young girls aged between twelve and fourteen years. These victims are often abandoned by their husbands who end up procuring more child brides.
Their young girls are culturally viewed primarily as sex-objects to be controlled and dominated by their husbands and any attempt at rebelling could be fatal.
A child has no capacity to enter into marriage contracts. It therefore follows that it is unlawful for a child to have sexual intercourse.
The issue of marriageable age has not been settled. Both municipal and international conventions have not placed an acceptable age for marriage. For this reason, different states have different marriageable age.
Despite the unsettled age limits, recourse would be given to the condemnation of the act of having carnal knowledge of girls below 13  years by men.
If carnal knowledge with a girl below 13 years amount to an offence under the Act, it follows that a marriage to such a person within such age bracket should be prohibited.  It is unlawful.
Owing to the duty of the law, it is the duty of the fathers to protect that child from any act that diminishes her dignity.
A duty is imposed on the head of the family to provide necessities to a child who is under 14 years and a member of the household, and he is held to have caused any consequences which result to the life or health of the other person by reason of any omission to perform that duty.
Since the girl-child is regarded as a second class citizen, she is given out as a housemaid at a settled price which in turn is used to train the male child who is given a preferential treatment at the expense of the girl child.
The girl-child as a housemaid in a strange household is on a frolic of  her own. She is not given any assistance, neither is she cared for. All her ‘Oga’ and ‘Madam’ want is that she does whatever she is asked to do.
This is an infringement on the right of the girl child. By the universal declaration of Human Rights, childhood is entitled to special care and assistance.
The housemaid, who is always given buckets which are bigger than her to fetch water from a place very far from the house, does not have the opportunity to be happy, loved or protected.
Most housemaids die untimely of accidents, maltreatment from those they serve etc, which also infringes on their inherent right  to life.
Also, the kind of work she does deters her growth not minding the provision that “state parties should ensure to the maximum extent possible the survival and development of the child”.
At other times, the child is forced out of her parents house against her will and is taken to a town very far from the one she hails from to be maltreated, thus unlawfully separating her from her parents.
Moreso, nobody gives a growing girl child who is given out as a maid the opportunity  to form her views, let alone expressing those views freely in all matters affecting her as a child.
Again, as a housemaid, the girl child is not entitled to privacy and is sometimes exposed to unlawful attacks on her reputation and honour, since she could be accused of stealing or other like acts.
The giving out of the girl child as a housemaid contravenes the provision of Article 18 of the Rights of the child. It stipulates that state parties shall use their best efforts to ensure recognition of the principle, that both parents have common responsibilities for the upbringing and development of the child. The best interests of the child will be their basic concern.
Furthermore, the house-maids are exposed to physically and mental violence. Sometimes, the man of the house rapes them, and at other times anybody could abuse them sexually thereby destroying them emotionally and psychological for the rest of their lives.
To be contd.
Aniekan is an intern with The Tide.

 

Patience Aniekan

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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