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Principles Of Good Parenting

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In a recent article, I mentioned that most parents have
    failed to inculcate in their children from early age, the true African and Biblical tenets that will help them meet up with societal expectations and development.
Every good parent must implant in their children, a strong moral foundation of integrity, honesty, trust-worthiness, faithfulness, fairness, humility, and above all, respect for God, elders and constituted authorities, amongst other virtues.
Parents should be exceptionally close to their children. Never neglect to train the child in the way of the Lord, setting aside time every day to look at his school work, teach her the Bible, and pray with and for her (Deuteronomy 6:7-9). Every child needs to have good relationship as well as needs much attention from their parents, especially in their early growing age. When this is lacking, the child starts to have behavioural problems which could jeopardise the future of the child, and thus, frustrate God’s plan for his life (Proverb 22:6). And in order to avoid this negative attitude, every parent must live a disciplined, God-fearing life which would influence their children to live a sober and disciplined, God-fearing life as well.
Harsh Disciplinary measures should also be avoided. Discipline means training, especially of the mind and character to produce self-controlled habits of obedience. There are two weapons of discipline, according to the Bible, for correction: The Rod – Proverb 23: 13-14 and Reproof – Proverb 29:15. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances, because children who are spanked, hit or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children, and are more likely to be bullies and feel it is only by using aggression that disputes can be solved with others. In discipline, timing is very important – Proverb 19:18, “by neglecting timely correction, the child develops a stubbornness that will hardly ever be conquered,” (Rice, 1946). You must bear also this in mind before applying discipline: Is the child guilty? Let her know! Have you earlier taught her the correct thing? Was the offence deliberate? Don’t discipline in anger, but in love, discipline must be commensurate with the offence. Punishment should not be your goal, but repentance through correction.  
On the other hand, every child needs respect. Respect is opinion. Treat her kindly. Speak to your child politely and pay attention to her when she is speaking to you. Treat your child respectfully as this is the only way you can get respectful treatment from her too. Give that child the same courtesies you would give to any special guests. Try to please her when you can, bearing in mind that a child treats others the way their parents treat them. This is to say that your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationship with others.
Being your child’s role model is also important. By living an exemplary God-honouring life before her, since what you do matters a lot and makes great difference in the life of your kids as they watch your every action. Always ask yourself, “what do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that needed result?”  
Parents must be involved in the total development of the child. Although this is not easy, because it requires a lot of sacrifices on the side of the parents, in terms of time, attention and hard work, but must be done for you to beat your chest and be proud of yourself and the child. It often means rearranging your priorities, sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there both mentally as well as physically. Although, this does not mean taking over your child’s homework and doing them. Allow the child do her homework. All she needs is for you to guide her from early age. Homework helps the child prove to you her understanding of what she learnt from school, and as well helps the teacher to know if the child is actually learning. This question should guide every parent fond of doing their child’s home works: As a parent, bearing in mind what Proverb 22:6 says, ask yourself this question, “If I do her home works at this early age, for how long will I continue to do it for her?
It is also necessary to foster your child’s independence. For your child to be successful in life, you must set limits and boundaries which help her develop a sense of self-control. Also encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. In most families today, many parents mistake their children’s independence with rebelliousness and disobedience whereas this is part of human nature to want to feel in control, rather than feel controlled. This is the push for autonomy and not rebelliousness or disobedience.
Adjust your parenting to fit your child. As your child grows up, keep pace with your child’s development. The same intellectual growth that makes your 12-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also makes her argumentative at the dinner table. The same drive for independence that makes your child of two-year-old say: ‘no’ all the time is what motivates her to be thoroughly trained as well.
Parents should establish and set rules: This is where obedience is very important. Obedience is never complete until it is immediate, absolute and done willingly. Obedience also, is the conditioning of the mind to follow set rules. If the child is disobedient to set rules, that means you did not manage your child’s behavior when she was growing, and as a result, she will have a hard time learning how to manage when she is old. The rules she learns from you shape the rules she applies. Every parent at every point in time, should be able to answer the following questions if asked anytime. Where are their children? What are they doing? Who are they with?
Don’t over-pamper your child in the name of love. Most parents think that by over-pampering, they are showing love to the child. Don’t spoil your child with love because it is usually the consequence of giving things to a child in place of love. Set limits and boundaries for her, and ensure you are consistent in enforcing discipline when she over-steps her boundaries.
Parents should be consistent in rules setting. This is your most important disciplinary tool. If you enforce your rules only intermittently and these rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion how will your child cope with such variations? At this point in time, her misbehavior is caused by you not her because you throw her into confusion. Identify your non-negotiable. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.   
Rules and decisions must be understandable. Good parents have good expectations that they want their children to live up to. But if you over-explain to children and under-explain to adolescent, you may be making a costly mistake.

 

Susan Serekara-Nwikhana

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Opinion

The Rantings  Of Rivers ALGON

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For the first time in the last eight years , one can observe a moribund  and toothless,  Association  of Local  Government of Nigeria, Rivers State Chapter trying to lull the people of Rivers State in believing that  it exists, that it is versed and abreast with the provisions  of the 1999 Constitution  of the Federal  Republic of Nigeria (as amended), knowledgeable  about subsisting  judicial  pronouncements on  the Local government administration  matters by courts of competent jurisdiction,  and it has workers  and. the people’s  welfare at heart.
These wrong impressions  can be deduced from the text of the Press Conference  delivered by the Association  last week.
Despite the window dressing  and cosmetic posture   that the Association  of Local Government of Nigeria, Rivers Sttate chapter wants to impress on the people and residents of Rivers State,  it is crystal clear that workers at the Third Tier of  Government  have not fared well in the last eight years of the repressive  and workers unfriendly  immediate past administration  in the State.
While workers at the State were fortunate to have a controversial minimum  wage paid to them, local Government  workers did not benefit from the N30,000 Minimum  Wage which became a legal instrument  about six years until March 2024, following  a directive by the Executive  Governor,  Sir Siminalayi  Fubara,  to Local Government chairmen in the State to immediately  implement the minimum wage,  wage award and  promote workers.
Where was.the Legal Adviser  of the Association of Local Government of Nigeria, whose statutory  responsibility it  was to advise the former  Rivers State. Governor  that it is  an affront on the sensibilities of  workers and fragrant.breach of extant law  to not pay minimum  wage to workers at.the 23 Local Government councils.
Civil servants at the State and Local Government  councils were not promoted and did not benefit from the annual incremental credit for about ten years. The incremental credit is a paltry and very insignificant  amount compared to the inputs of workers to drive implementation of government  policies and programmes and what elective office holders take home within the comparable period.
I had expected a “concerned  and workers-friendly ‘ Association  of Local Government in the State to midwife the promotion of workers, implementation  of Minimum wage  and fulfill their statutory  obligations to the workers and the people at the local government  areas whose resources they hold in trust and on whose behest they are in power.
It therefore  beats my imagination that    Local  Government  Chairmen  of ALGON,  who are products of  the ballot and not  appointees of the former governor lost their “Executive” status and played the second  fiddle role. Even when there was unconfirmed tampering  of local government funds, they could not  protest or raise an eye brow.
How the people who were cowardly and timid before the former  administration  in the State  suddenly  cultivated and imbibed the effrontry  and temerity to hold a Press Conference attempting to disparage the performing  and conscientious  Sir Siminalayi Fubara-led administration  leaves much to be desired  and a bad taste in the mouth of all patriotic  and truthful  Rivers people.
I expected the self serving chairmen  under the aegis of the Association  of Local Government  of Nigeria to brace up to the challenges of seeming derecognition and denial of their right of expression as elected chairmen by the former administration  in the State.
While the ALGON has the legitimacy  to contest violation  of,  or infringement on their interests, such protest should not be seen as selective. Between  1999 and 2003,  the Association  of Local Government  of.Nigeria in Rivers State was vociferous  and so  alive to its onus that they rejected allocations  that did not reflect the true figures of what the local government councils deserved from the Joint Account Allocation  Committee  (JAAC). That was when ALGON was keen and committed  to the essence  of its formation. That was a real workers-friendly ALGON.
However, with the advent of crude and uncivilised godfatherism that circumvented real democratic processes for manipulative and coercive selection that ultimately  produced  unpopular candidates of the godfather,  chairmen were reduced to puppets, playing  subservient  roles for their benefactors instead of protecting  the interest and welfare of workers and the people of their local government areas, who they ought to represent.
Having therefore failed to speak up for workers and defend the welfare of the people of their local government areas, at a time they were oppressed,  the association  in my candid opinion  does not have the  moral justification to  cry fowl against the present  administration  in  Rivers State whose policies and programmes so far, reveal that the governor  understands  that  the legitimacy  of his administration  is  derived from the people, so he is accountable to  them by putting in place infrastructure that will give fresh breath to a people who are recuperating from  the suffocation  of repressive  and coercive  governance.
Sir Siminalayi Fubara  is today a messiah to workers in Rivers State. Local government. workers are .being paid minimum wage, promoted and duly placed at their appropriate levels after 10 years of no promotion.
Civil servants  in the State are sure of receiving  their pensions immediately  after retirement  from service  which was a marked. departure from previous  administration.
Rather than vilifying or  demonising the present  administration  in the State, the Association  of  Local Government of.Nigeria, Rivers State should thank the  Governor, Sir Siminalayi Fubara,  for doing in less than one year what their grand master could not  do for them and workers in eight  years.
Remember, everyone will stand in the court of history  and posterity  to account for their  actions and inactions  in office.

Igbiki Benibo

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Opinion

Kidnapping: Need  For Govt  To Address  The Monster

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Kidnapping, a heinous crime, cannot be condoned in any circumstances. The situation in Nigeria, characterised by various security challenges, including the presence of militant groups and criminal organisations, requires a multifaceted approach to address its root causes.
A report by the Beacon Security and Intelligence Limited, a security risk management and intelligence company based in Abuja, stated that at least 2,583 people were killed and 2,164 kidnapped in the first quarter of this year.
The record carries the number of killings and abductions across the country from January to March, indicating that 80 percent of the killings and 94 percent of the abductions occurred in the Northern part of Nigeria.
This report, however, varied with the position by the National Security Adviser (NSA), Nuhu Ribadu, who said that the casualty figures were going down, the consulting firm’s report showed that an average of 28 persons were killed and 24 kidnapped.
The Nigerian government, through the Minister of Defence, Muhammad Badaru Abubakar, during the maiden edition of the annual lecture series organised by the Nigerian Army Resource Centre in Abuja, said the security situation was under control.
The casualty figures in zones, according to the data from the Beacon Security and Intelligence Limited, revealed that out of the people killed during the period, 793 were from the North-West, 681 from the North-East and 596 from the North-Central. The casualties were recorded from bandits’ attacks, farmers/herders’ conflicts and communal clashes.
The South-West recorded 194 killings, the South-South, 161 people; and South-East, 158. The five states with the highest number of killings were Borno, 517; Benue, 313; Katsina, 252; Zamfara, 212 and Kaduna, 206. The data showed that out of the 2,164 persons abducted within the period, 1,297 were kidnapped in the North-West, 421 in the North-East, 330 in the North-Central, 30 in the South-West, 66 in the South-South and 20 in the South-East.
Kaduna State recorded the highest number of abductees with 546; Zamfara, 447; Borno, 340; Katsina, 252 and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), 102. Experts hope that the present government under President Bola Tinubu will do the needful.
Firstly, addressing the socioeconomic factors that contribute to kidnapping is crucial. High unemployment rates, poverty, and lack of economic opportunities push individuals towards criminal activities. Investing in education, job creation programmes, and infrastructure development can help alleviate these issues and provide alternatives to crime.
Secondly, strengthening law enforcement and judicial systems is essential. Improving police training, equipping them with necessary resources, and enhancing collaboration between security agencies can help in apprehending criminals and ensuring justice for victims. Additionally, enhancing the efficiency of the judicial process and holding perpetrators accountable through swift and fair trials can deter future criminal activities.
Furthermore, enhancing intelligence gathering and surveillance capabilities can help in preempting kidnapping attempts and dismantling criminal networks. Cooperation between government agencies, intelligence services, and international partners can facilitate information sharing and coordination in combating organised crime.
Moreover, addressing corruption within the government and security forces is imperative. Corruption undermines efforts to combat crime by facilitating criminal activities and eroding public trust in institutions. Implementing anti-corruption measures, promoting transparency, and holding corrupt officials accountable can help in restoring trust and integrity within the system.
Community engagement and empowerment play a vital role in preventing kidnapping and other crimes. Building strong community relationships, fostering trust between residents and law enforcement agencies, and promoting community-based initiatives can help in identifying and addressing security threats at the grassroots level.
Finally, kidnapping in Nigeria is a complex issue that requires a comprehensive and coordinated approach. Addressing socioeconomic factors, strengthening law enforcement and judicial systems, enhancing intelligence capabilities, combating corruption, engaging communities, and promoting international cooperation are all crucial components in combating kidnapping and improving security in the country. However, it is important to remember that any strategy must prioritise human rights, the rule of law, and the protection of innocent lives.

Badamasi Junaidu
Junaidu writes from Abubakar Tatari Ali Polytechnic, Bauchi.

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Opinion

Local  Government As Agent Of Nation Building

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Development is regarded as sequential changes or growths that occur in a society or country over time. It remains a product of good governance, which mostly lies in the hands of those at the helm of affairs at a particular time and process that led to the emergence of such leaders.
The local government is universally found in contemporary societies, both in the developed and developing countries. It is a vital political institution, such that modern politics and administration revolves around it. Today, most countries across the globe have adopted democratic system of government, being the government of the people, by the people and for the people. In these countries, governance is centered on three tiers with constitutional backing to aid rapid development. A country like Nigeria has three tiers of government, Federal, State and Local Governments. Each tier has constitutional roles, aimed at complementing each other. The mother of them, that is, the Federal Government, plays significant roles in nation building, and this is one of the reasons why citizens always look unto the presidency and participate actively during presidential elections conducted by the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC).
It is an established fact that citizens also perform their civic responsibilities as expected during the governorship elections, while there is a lot of apathy during the chairmanship and councillorship elections, forgetting that without a solid foundation, the longevity of structure or building is in doubt.
Citizens’ nonchalant attitude to the process that produces public administrators at the grassroots is quite alarming, and this usually results into having the wrong peg in the right hole.
Findings revealed that voter apathy associated with local government council elections was due to non-performance of some previous elected administrators, lack of security of lives or property and lack of trust in States Independent Electoral Commission (SIECs). Others include introduction of caretaker committees to man the affairs of the councils, do-or-die approach of political soldiers to the council’s polls, interest of the incumbent governors, choice of political godfathers, influence of respected monarchs and many more. The local government is a tier of government that provides essential services to the public, such as health and safety, transportation, sanitation, environmental, and utilities.
Also, it is the tier of government that ensures grading of rural roads, management of basic schools, local markets, among others. Public administrators play a crucial role in the delivery of these services and the management of local government organisations. Some time ago, the governor of Akwa Ibom State, Pastor Umo Eno, at the swearing-in ceremony of chairmen and vice chairmen of Nsit Ibom and Urue–Offong / Oruka Local Governments, compelled chairmen of the local government councils in the state to reside within their areas of jurisdiction for effective delivery on their mandate and development of rural areas.
Also, the ongoing campaign or demand for financial autonomy for local government by relevant stakeholders in the country further attests to how important this tier of government is in building a prosperous and self-sustained nation.
This development led to the conduct of local government council election in the 33 local government council areas of the state in 2021 by the current leadership of the Oyo State Independent Electoral Commission (OYSIEC), headed by a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, Aare Isiaka Abiola Olagunju. About 30 percent of registered voters took part in the election, a result that further attest to the long-time nonchalant attitude of citizens and residents to local government council elections. According to records, the feat attained by the commission in terms of voter turnout was the highest in recent times.
No doubt, democracy provides opportunity for people to choose their leaders and enables citizens to make their opinions known to those in power, enjoy good governance and interface with the authorities, especially those at the grassroots.
Adegoke writes in from Ibadan, Oyo State.

By: Adedamola Adegoke

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