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Understanding What Marriage Is

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Marriage is a timeless institution that has been the foundation of human society for centuries. Yet, in today’s evolving world, its essence and significance are often misunderstood. As we navigate the complexities of love, commitment, and relationships, it is essential to revisit the true meaning of marriage and its enduring importance in our lives. At its core, marriage is a sacred union between two individuals, transcending mere romance or legal contract. It is a lifelong commitment to build a life together, fostering growth, trust and unconditional love. Marriage is a journey of mutual support, understanding, and compromise, where two souls become one.
Beyond the vows and ceremonies, marriage represents: Unwavering commitment: A promise to stand by each other through life’s triumphs and tribulations. Emotional intimacy: A deep understanding and acceptance of each other’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.Trust and loyalty: Unshakeable faith in each other’s words and actions. Shared values and goals: A united vision for a life built on common principles and aspirations. Family and legacy: The foundation of a family unit, creating a lasting impact on future generations. Personal growth: A catalyst for individual development, encouraging self-improvement and selflessness. Social and cultural significance: A celebration of love and unity, strengthening social bonds and community ties.
If I may ask, Do you understand a newly wedded man is called groom and the woman called bride? A friend of mine got tired of his wife just about six months after wedding. He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he has concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he made a mistake. I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him the right thing, so I went home. And that is what birthed this message. Many men have broken up with their wives because they ended up not being the wife that they have dreamt of. They have forgotten that their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task.
Nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but bride, because it is the man that will groom his bride to become the wife. That is why the man is called ‘bridegroom or groom’ and the word grooming has to do with patiently nurturing, teaching, tending and helping someone to become what he or she should be. It is therefore believed that a man that takes a woman to the altar of marriage is mature enough to patiently groom his bride to become the wife. The man is not supposed to just expect the bride to automatically become the wife, she must be groomed. It is clear that many of us men had unnecessary expectations when we were getting married.
Yes, we want some magic to happen to our wives, we want them to become what we have had in mind about who we want our wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is in your mind except you teach her. Our expectations are often too unrealistic, because we do not remember that change takes time and we can only expect something from someone that knows what we want. So, before you think of breaking up, have you groomed her? Have you given her time to understand you? Hope you realise that a turtle will never become a hawk? God often brings people that are opposites of each other together in marriage so they can help each other in their place of weaknesses. If your wife is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed?
The problem with many of us is that we do not accept people before attempting to change them. Of course, our wives are not from our backgrounds, so it will take time for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her: accept her, love her, teach her and be patient with her; that is what grooming is all about. She is going to be your wife but she is your bride now, so groom her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a turtle and you a hawk, she cannot fly so be patient with her. I do not believe that your marriage can not work, be patient and allow God to help you. The term “groom” for a husband-to-be or a newlywed husband has its roots in history and tradition.
In the past, a “groom” referred to a servant or attendant responsible for taking care of horses. Over time, the term evolved to describe a man who was “grooming” himself for marriage, preparing to take on the responsibilities of a husband. In the 15th century, the term “groom” became synonymous with “bridegroom,” emphasising the man’s role in preparing for and supporting his bride. The word “groom” also connoted a sense of refinement, elegance, and polish, much like a well-groomed horse.Today, the term “groom” is a romantic and endearing way to refer to a husband or fiancé, symbolising his commitment to care for, support, and cherish his partner, much like a groom would tend to his horses.
So, in essence, a husband is called a groom because he is seen as the one who prepares himself to care for and support his bride, much like a groom would prepare and care for his horses. In a world where relationships are increasingly complex, remembering the true essence of marriage is crucial. By embracing its timeless values and principles, we can nurture stronger, more meaningful relationships, building a foundation for a lifetime of love, happiness, and fulfilment. Let us cherish and honour the sacred institution of marriage, recognising its profound impact on our lives and society. Marriage is not just a union between two individuals but a celebration of love, commitment, and the human spirit.

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Betrayal: Vice Of Indelible Scar

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The line that separates betrayal and corruption is very thin. Betrayal and corruption are two sides of the same coin. Like the snail and its shell they are almost inseparable. They go hand-in-globe. Betrayal and corruption are instinctive in humans and they are birthed by people with inordinate ambition – people without principles, without regard for ethical standards and values. Looking back to the days of Jesus Christ, one of his high profile disciples-the treasurer, was a betrayer. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus Christ for just 30 pieces of silver. One of the characteristics of betrayers is greed.
So, when on resumption from his  imposed suspension, the Rivers State Governor, Sir Siminilayi Fubara threatened to bring permanent secretaries who were found complicit in “defrauding” the State during the days of Locust and Caterpillar regime, he did not only decry a loot of the Treasury but the emotional trauma of betrayal perpetrated by those who swore to uphold the ethics of the civil service. Governor Siminilayi Fubara had least expected that those who feigned loyalty to his administration would soon become co-travellers with an alien administration whose activities were repugnant to the “Rivers First” mantra of his administration. The saying that if you want to prove the genuineness of a person’s love and loyalty feign death, finds consummate expression in the Governor Fubara and some of the key members of the State engine room
Some of those who professed love for Governor Siminilayi Fubara  and Rivers State could not resist the lure and enticement of office in the dark days of Rivers State, like Judas Iscariot.  Rather, they chose to identify with the locusts and the caterpillars for their selfish interest. Julius Caesar did not die from the stab of Brutus but by his emotional attachment to him, hence he exclaimed in utter disappointment, “Even you Brutus”. The wound of betrayal never heals and the scar is indelible. Unfortunately, today, because of gross moral turpitude and declension in ethical standards and values, betrayal and corruption are celebrated and rewarded. Corruption, a bane of civil/public service is sublime in betrayal. The quest to get more at the expense of the people is the root of betrayal and sabotage.
This explains why Nigeria at 65 is the World’s capital of poverty.
Nigeria is not a poor country, yet, millions are living in hunger, abject poverty and avoidable misery. What an irony. Nigeria, one of Africa’s largest economies and most populous nation is naturally endowed with 44 mineral resources, found in 500 geographical locations in commercial quantity  across the country. According to Nigeria’s former Minister for Mines and Steel Development, Olamiekan Adegbite, the mineral resources include: baryte, kaolin, gymsium, feldspar, limestone, coal, bitumen, lignite, uranium, gold, cassiterite, columbite, iron ore, lead, zinc, copper, granite, laterite, sapphire, tourmaline, emerald, topaz, amethyst, gamer, etc. Nigeria has a vast uncultivated arable land even as its geographical area is approximately 923, 769 sq km (356,669 sq ml).
“This clearly demonstrates the wide mineral spectrum we are endowed with, which offers limitless opportunities along the value-chain, for job creation, revenue growth. Nigeria  provides one of the highest rates of return because its minerals are closer to the suffer”, Adegbite said. Therefore, poverty in Nigeria is not the consequences of lack of resources and manpower but inequality, misappropriation, outright embezzlement, barefaced corruption that is systemic and normative in leaders and  public institutions. According to the World Poverty Clock 2023, Nigeria has the awful distinction of being the world capital of poverty with about 84 million people living in extreme poverty today.
The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) data also revealed that a total of 133 million people in Nigeria are classed as multi-dimensionally poor. Unemployment is a major challenge in the country. About 33 percent of the labour force are unable to find a job at the prevailing wage rate. About 63 percent of the population are poor because of lack of access to health, education, employment, and security. Nigeria Economic Summit Group (NESG) speculated that unemployment rate will increase to 37 percent in 2023. The implications, therefore, is increase in unemployment will translate to increase in the poverty rate. The World Bank, a Washington-based and a multi-lateral development institution,  in its macro-poverty outlook for Nigeria for April 2023 projected that 13 million Nigerians will fall below the National Poverty line by 2025.
It further stated that the removal of subsidy on petroleum products without palliatives will result to 101 million people being poor in Nigeria. Statistics also show that “in 2023 nearly 12 percent of the world population of extreme poverty lived in Nigeria, considering poverty threshold at 1.90 US dollars a day”.Taking a cursory look at the Nigerian Development Update (NDU), the World Bank said “four million Nigerians were pushed into poverty  between January and June 2023 and 7.1 million more will join if the removal of subsidy is not adequately managed.” These startling revelations paint a grim and bleak future for the social-economic life of the people.The alarming poverty in the country is a conspiracy of several factors, including corruption. In January, 2023 the global anti-corruption watchdog, Transparency International, in its annual corruption prospect index which ranks the perceived level of public sector corruption across 180 countries in the world says Nigeria ranked 150 among 180 in the index. Conversely, Nigeria is the 30th most corrupt nation in the ranking. It is also the capital of unemployment in the world.
Truth be told: a Government that is corruption-ridden lacks the capacity to build a vibrant economy that will provide employment for the teeming unemployed population. So crime and criminality become inevitable. No wonder, the incessant cases of violent crimes and delinquency among young people. Corruption seems to be the second nature of Nigeria as a nation . At the root of Nigerians’ poverty is the corruption cankerworm.How  the nation got to this sordid economic and social precipice is the accumulation of years of corrupt practices with impunity by successive administrations.  But the hardship Nigerians are experiencing gathered momentum between 2015 and 2023 and reached the climax few days after President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, who assumed power as president of Nigeria, removed the controversial petroleum subsidy. Since then, there is astronomical increase in transport fares, and prices of commodities. Living standard of most Nigerians is abysmally low, essential commodities are out of reach of the poor masses who barely eat once a day.
The Dollar to Naira exchange rate ratio at one dollar to N1,000, is the most economy-unfriendly in the annals of the history of Nigeria. The prohibitive prices of petroleum products with the attendant multi-dimensional challenges following the removal of the subsidy, has posed a nightmare better to be imagined than experienced. Inflation, has been on the increase, negatively affecting the purchasing power of  low income Nigerians. Contributing to the poverty scourge is the low private investment due to.unfriendly business environment and lack of power supply, as well as low social development outcomes resulting in low productivity. The developed economies of the world are private sector-driven. So the inadequate involvement of the private sector in Nigeria’s economy, is a leading cause of unemployment which inevitably translates to poverty.

 

Igbiki Benibo

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Opinion

Dangers Of Unchecked Growth, Ambition

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In today’s fast-paced, hyper-competitive world, the pursuit of success and growth has become an all-consuming force. Individuals, organisations, and nations alike, are locked in a perpetual struggle to achieve more, earn more, and surpass their rivals. Yet, beneath this relentless drive for progress lies a silent danger—the risk of self-destruction. This perilous pattern, which I call the self-destruct trajectory, describes the path taken when ambition and growth are pursued without restraint, awareness, or moral balance. The self-destruct trajectory is fueled by an insatiable hunger for more—a mindset that glorifies endless expansion while disregarding the boundaries of ethics, sustainability, and human well-being. At first glance, it may appear to promise prosperity and achievement. After all, ambition has long been celebrated as a virtue. But when growth becomes the only goal, it mutates into obsession.
Individuals burn out, organisations lose their soul, and societies begin to fracture under the weight of their own excesses. The consequences are everywhere. People pushed beyond their limits face anxiety, exhaustion, and disconnection. Companies sacrifice employee welfare and social responsibility on the altar of profit. The entire ecosystems suffer as forests are cleared, oceans polluted, and air poisoned in the name of economic progress. The collapse of financial systems, widening income inequality, and global environmental crises are all symptoms of this same relentless, self-consuming pursuit. To understand this dynamic, one can turn to literature—and to Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist. In one of the novel’s most haunting scenes, young Oliver, starving in the workhouse, dares to utter the words: “Please, sir, I want some more.” This simple plea encapsulates the essence of human desire—the urge for more. But it also mirrors the perilous craving that drives the self-destruct trajectory. Like Oliver, society keeps asking for “more”—more wealth, more power, more success—without considering the consequences of endless wanting.
The workhouse itself symbolises the system of constraints and boundaries that ambition often seeks to defy. Oliver’s courage to ask for more represents the daring spirit of human aspiration—but it also exposes the risk of defying limits without reflection. Mr. Bumble, the cruel overseer, obsessed with authority and control, embodies the darker forces that sustain this destructive cycle: greed, pride, and the illusion of dominance. Through this lens, Dickens’ tale becomes a timeless metaphor for the modern condition—a warning about what happens when ambition blinds compassion and growth eclipses humanity. Avoiding the self-destruct trajectory requires a radical rethinking about success. True progress should not be measured solely by accumulation, but by balance—by how growth serves people, planet, and purpose.
This calls for a more holistic approach to achievement, one that values sustainability, empathy, and integrity alongside innovation and expansion
Individuals must learn to pace their pursuit of goals, embracing rest, reflection, and meaningful relationships as part of a full life. The discipline of “enough”—knowing when to stop striving and start appreciating—can restore both mental well-being and moral clarity. Organisations, on their part, must reimagine what it means to succeed: prioritising employee welfare, practising environmental stewardship, and embedding social responsibility in the core of their mission. Governments and policymakers also play a vital role. They can champion sustainable development through laws and incentives that reward ethical practices and environmental responsibility. By investing in education, renewable energy, and equitable economic systems, they help ensure that ambition is channeled toward collective benefit rather than collective ruin.
Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) provides a tangible pathway for this transformation. When businesses take ownership of their social and environmental impact—reducing carbon footprints, supporting local communities, and promoting fair labour—they not only strengthen society but also secure their own long-term stability. Sustainable profit is, after all, the only kind that endures. Ultimately, avoiding the self-destruct trajectory is not about rejecting ambition—it is about redefining it. Ambition must evolve from a self-centred hunger for more into a shared pursuit of the better. We must shift from growth at all costs to growth with conscience. The future will belong not to those who expand endlessly, but to those who expand wisely. By embracing restraint, compassion, and sustainability, we can break free from the cycle of self-destruction and create a new narrative—one where success uplifts rather than consumes, and where progress builds rather than burns.
In the end, the question is not whether we can grow, but whether we can grow without losing ourselves. The choice is ours: to continue along the self-destruct trajectory, or to chart a more balanced, humane, and enduring path toward greatness.

 

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Opinion

Gridlock at the Gates

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Quote:” City planners have long warned against overloading central arteries with industrial traffic. Port Harcourt, being a commercial hub, must observe those cautions. Let this Government House corridor not become a permanent choke point.”
It was midmorning when the rumbles began. From the direction of the factory opposite Government House, a long convoy of heavy trailers edged slowly into the already congested artery. Drivers, helpless, contended with idle cars, impatient motorbikes and pedestrians hawking wares. The gridlock that ensued was inevitable  and dangerous. That stretch of road has long struggled with traffic, even under normal circumstances. But when trailers laden with goods destined for that factory arrived in the heart of the city, the resulting chaos tests the limits of road safety and civic order. What should have been a routine delivery turned into a spectacle of stalled vehicles, honking horns and frustrated commuters.Commuters arriving from the east and west found themselves at the mercy of fate. Buses squeezed past gaps, sometimes brushing mirrors.
Motorcyclists always audacious darted between trailers and cars, risking life for a few extra seconds. Pedestrians, navigating narrow sidewalks, were sometimes forced onto the road. A mother clutching her child crossed dozens of vehicles to reach a bus stop. An office worker, already late, dashed between vehicles narrowly avoiding being clipped by a reversing trailer. A delivery van, stuck mid?way, belched smoke as its engine laboured. It was a microcosm of urban mayhem. The danger is not hypothetical. One trailer, reversing without adequate sight, could crush small vehicles behind it. A sudden jerk of an overloaded container might dislodge cargo. A pedestrian stepping from between cars is invisible to a trailer’s blind spots.  In the event of fire or medical emergency, blocked lanes could turn a crisis into tragedy.Residents in nearby quarters — the civil servants’ neighbourhood, local shops, offices  stood to suffer the most. Their streets are collateral damage.
 The hum of commerce is stifled, delivery schedules disrupted, lives endangered. In moments like these, city planning is revealed naked  its flaws exposed for all to see.One elderly man, waiting for a bus, remarked: “All I need is ten minutes to reach my office. But today, I cannot even cross to the bus stop safely.”His voice quivered, not from fear alone, but from frustration. Others muttered about lack of traffic control, absence of escorts, poor coordination.It is tempting to blame just the truck drivers. But the problem is deeper. The timing of deliveries, the route choice, the lack of alternative access roads, and the absence of coordinated traffic management all conspire to produce this mess. Government House being the focal point only magnifies the stakes.We know this area in Rivers State is sensitive, high profile. Government officials, dignitaries and official vehicles traverse that corridor many times a day.
To see trailers lumbering past security parlours, squeezing past guard booths, is to court risk both symbolic and physical. At least twice this year, small collisions have occurred there  a trailer striking a road divider, another brushing a sedan. Thankfully injuries were minor. But next time, the outcome may not be so forgiving. The margin for error is shrinking. What can be done? The first step is scheduling. Heavy trailers should not come at peak hours. Late-night or early?morning slots, when traffic is minimal, should be mandated. This simple shift would relieve the burden on daytime traffic. Second, alternative access. If the factory had a back entrance or service road away from the main artery, trailers could avoid the central route entirely. Even a temporary bypass could serve until permanent measures are built. Third, coordination with traffic authorities. The state’s traffic management agency must be looped in — to provide escorts, clear pathways, regulate entry and exit times. Without their presence, chaos reigns.
Fourth, strict enforcement. Trailers that defy timing orders or block lanes should attract penalties. Fines, impoundment, or delays could discourage reckless scheduling. Consistency here matters. Fifth, signage and awareness. Drivers, residents and commercial operators alike must know the restrictions. Clear signs, public announcements and coordination with the factory management will help. No one should claim ignorance. Sixth, advance notice. Residents and road users deserve alerts when heavy traffic is expected. That way they can plan alternate routes and minimize exposure to danger. Seventh, standing zones. Designated holding areas for trailers — safe zones where they can queue without entering the congested corridor. This would prevent multiple trailers crowding into the central route at once. If these measures are ignored, the dangers worsen. A panic situation — say a health emergency in that neighborhood — could be fatally delayed by gridlock. Fire engines or ambulances might be unable to manoeuvre. Lives would hang in the balance.
Insurance costs will rise. Businesses fronting the road may suffer loss of customers. The reputation of city management will take a hit. And worst of all, a tragic accident might claim an innocent life. We can end this madness but only if the will is firm and immediate. Rivers State government must act. The factory management too must show responsibility, coordinating delivery times and ensuring their drivers comply. A committee comprising traffic authorities, local government, factory management and community representatives  should be formed, tasked with drawing a traffic relief plan, fast. Sit?downs, surveys, consultations — done in days, not months. In the interim, emergency measures can help. Temporary traffic diversions, rope-off lanes, manual marshals guiding trailers, police presence all can ease the burden while long-term plans are prepared. Community vigilance is critical. Residents and road users must report blocking trailers, reckless driving, and violations to authorities. If the populace insists on accountability, officials are more likely to act.
City planners have long warned against overloading central arteries with industrial traffic. Port Harcourt, being a commercial hub, must observe those cautions. Let this Government House corridor not become a permanent choke point.The tragedy of inaction is that the problem compounds. Tonight’s chaos seeds tomorrow’s delay; next week’s near?miss becomes a crash. If we let the problem persist, we court disaster. This is more than a traffic story. It’s about governance, foresight, respect for human life. It’s about restoring order in a city that cries out daily for planning and discipline. Let no more trailers barge freely into this corridor. Let us refuse to accept gridlock as normal. Let Rivers State reclaim its roads, its safety, its dignity. It is time to end this once and for all.
By: By King Onunwor
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