Opinion
Should Christians Support Gay Marriage? (III)
This is the conclusion of the article published last Friday.
In his book, Virtually Normal, Andrew Sullivan, who is homosexual, writes about the openness of the homosexual marriage that reflects great understanding of the need for extra-marital outlets between two men, more so than would be tolerated between a man and a woman.
A lengthy history of marital infidelity within the ranks of heterosexual married couples attests to the destructive toxin of infidelity, even among couples with so called “open marriages.” Wife swapping, swinging and other forms of marital thrill-seeking have been thoroughly documented to have devastating effects on healthy marriages and healthy child rearing. The State should never be in the business of encouraging unhealthy behaviour by providing it special treatment.
In the same vein, legalising homosexual marriage undermines the moral foundation of marriage. Marriage as traditionally defined – the union of one man and one woman – is the most important social institution around the world. Legalizing homosexual marriage would allow a tiny minority of people to change long held moral codes and the social commitments that sustain it.
Advocates of homosexual marriage frequently ask, What harm is done to heterosexual marriages if same sex marriage is legalized? The short answer is: – they harm everyone else. When homosexual couples seek State approval and all the benefits that the State reserves for married heterosexual couples, they impose the law on everyone. Millions of people who do not believe homosexual practice is moral would be forced to accept it anyway. Homosexuals would turn civil rights laws into battering rams, using the courts to hammer resisters into submission. An employer who offers medical insurance to employees would be forced to provide it for the homosexual partner of an employee. Schools would be required to treat homosexuality as normal in its curriculum and co-curricular activities.
Some gay marriage activists argue that permitting homosexuals to marry will actually stabilise gay relationships, despite a Dutch study which showed that homosexuals in a committed relationship had an average of eight sexual partners outside the relationship per year!
Stanley Kurtz, writing in the Weekly Standard states, “After gay marriage, what will become of marriage itself? Among the likeliest effects of gay marriage is to take us down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy and ‘polyamory’ (group marriage). Marriage will be transformed into a variety of relationship contracts, linking two, three or more individuals in every conceivable combination of male and female.” Thus, the greatest harm that can come from legalizing homosexual marriage is the abolition of marriage itself, an avowed goal for some homosexual groups. At the very least, same sex marriage will certainly weaken the belief that monogamy lies at the heart of marriage.
What then can Christians do about gay marriage? First, they should ask God to continue having mercy on gay marriage advocates. Anyone who knows anything about God should be surprised that God’s full judgment has not yet fallen on gay marriage advocates. Years ago, Ruth Bell Graham, the wife of evangelist Billy Graham, said, “If God does not judge America for its sins, he will have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah.” The arrogance and presumptuousness of homosexuals in the United States tempts the Lord.
Second, churches must strategise to strengthen heterosexual marriages. The antidote to perversion is purity. Churches should focus on promoting those things that will most strengthen existing marriages. The divorce rate among Christians is unacceptably high, thus the children of divorced parents frequently lack the kind of role models they need as they prepare to enter marriage themselves. Churches must sponsor marriage enrichment weekends, and special speakers, and as well schedule special opportunities for married couples to strengthen their marriages.
One thing that churches can do to strengthen marriages is to establish a policy of limiting how much involvement a married couple can have in church ministries and activities. Sometimes, a person whose marriage is in trouble will become immersed in church activities to avoid dealing with marital problems. Churches need to be alert to this and be prepared to head off a problem before it can develop.
Meanwhile Christians should engage in the public policy debates about same sex marriage in their workplace, community and the political arena. Although, homosexuality and the question of gay marriage are moral and spiritual issues, they are also public policy issues that must be debated. Christians must be prepared to engage people in the debate of these issues by being well informed. This means that churches should make sure that they have and make well-researched, well-documented materials available to their people. This includes being prepared to counter the pro-gay messages conveyed through school curricula and the mass media. Churches can become a clearing house for educational materials that tell the truth about homosexuality, gay marriage, etc.
Another way to defeat homosexuality and gay relationships is to recruit a task force to maintain a Christian presence at school board meetings, city council meetings, county commission meetings, etc. to monitor pro-gay activities. The time to oppose policies, ordinances, rules and laws is before they are enacted. This requires vigilance and persistence. You cannot succeed in preventing the further encroachment of the gay rights agenda if you do not know what is happening and who is behind it.
It is not by accident that certain mayors have taken it upon themselves to initiate the marriages of homosexuals. These moral raiding parties are probing actions designed to see how strong the opposition to gay marriage will be. It is one thing to take a public opinion poll and quite another to take action in order to gauge the intensity of the response. A regular presence at local policy making meetings will send a message to would-be rouge mayors that unilateral actions designed to advance homosexual interests will be met with stiff resistance. This means that Christians must be strategically engaged in local politics.
In conclusion, churches must do much more than simply oppose homosexual marriage. While preaching and teaching a Biblical marital ethic, the church must also hold marriage partners to a high standard of accountability. Churches must insist that pastors do not marry couples without proper pre-marital counselling. Church members who are unfaithful should be properly disciplined and the church should conduct annual marriage seminars, retreats or other events to enrich the marriages of its members.
Dr Akpongena, a Christian devotional writer, lives in Port Harcourt.
Lewis Akpongena,
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Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
