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Our Communities Should Empower Women – Manjor

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Lydia W. Ikunga Manjor, Eze Omehia Eli I of Evekwu Community, Emohua.

Lydia W. Ikunga Manjor, Eze Omehia Eli I of Evekwu Community, Emohua.

History was made in the state on the 27th of last month, when an illustrious daughter of the state, Lydia Ikunga-Manjor, was coronated the Eze Omehia Eli I of Evekwu, Odegu Community, Emohua Local Government Area, by the Evekwu Community Council of Chiefs led by His Royal Highness, Ohama Odudu Dimkpa Nweeli.
Manjor, a renown journalist and lawyer merited the exalted position through her immense contribution to the human and physical development of her community.
In this interview with our Deputy Editor (features), the Eze Omehia Eli I (the pioneer of good things) gives us an insight into the journey of her becoming  a Chief, what that means to her, and how she will use her enviable position to better the lots of her community and many more.
Excerpts.
Can I meet you?
My name is Lydia Ikunga Manjor. I came from Evekwu, in Odegu Community, Emohua Local Government Area. I attended University of Port Harcourt where a baged a degree in Theartre Arts. I have a diploma in Journalism  from IIJ. Later I went to Rivers State University of Science and Technology to obtain LLB.
Last December a personal Assistant to the Paramount ruler of Evekwu Community met me and told me that my community would be interested to give me a chieftaincy title. Prior to this, other people specifically some youths in the community had also discussed the same issue with me. I never took it serious .
When they said that I would just say please you people should leave me along. Do they make a  woman titled chief”, and they would laugh. Until that day in December when the PA, who is also a chief came and in the course of our discussion he said, “We want to make you a titled chief. You have worked so much for this community. I asked do they crown a woman  chief? He said yes we want to do it, go and think about it. Later he called me and said,” Our Royal Highness, Oha Dimkpa Odudu and the elders of the community are serious about giving you a chieftaincy title. So I accepted. He conveyed my position to the Paramount Ruler and His council of Chiefs to tell them that I had accepted. Later he called me back to tell me that the entire council was interested in me becoming a chief. He told me things to do. That was the first stage. I did it. I also finished the second stage. He now went to the village square in the presence of the entire community to inform the people of what they intended doing and asked if there was any opposition. Nobody said no. everybody accepted.
He then later informed me that everybody had accepted, that I should get ready to finish what was remaining. I asked him that being a woman, were they not going to wave certain things for me. They said no, I will do every thing that it takes to be a chief. And that I did.
You said one reason given by the chiefs for conferring you with the title was that you have done so much for your community. May I know some of these things you did?
I contributed in building health centre in my community. I was instrumental to the registration of the community’s youth football club being registered with Rivers State Government Sports Council. I also coordinated a Women’s group called the Rumuihuordu daughters and registered them with the Corporate Affairs Commission. In short, there is nothing that my community does that I don’t contribute to when called upon-both the ones propounded and the unpronounced ones. I do it my little way.
Being a woman and well educated, some people may wonder why you accepted to take chieftaincy title?
It was not a mere title that was given to me. They wanted me to be among the policy making body of the community, to represent the female folk. And I feel that it is a responsibility being given to me and I accepted it. I see it as an opportunity to further contribute to the development of my community and to ensure that women’s voice is heard.
Could you please explain to me the type of title given to you and the responsibilities attached to it?
I was given the title of Eze Omehia Eli I of Evekwu, Odegu Community. That means the pioneer of good things. They feel that I do good things in the community.
Is it like something you can hand over to a member of your family when you are gone?
No, it is a chieftaincy title. It cannot be handed over to another person.
But you were given a stool. What happens to the stool after you and does it mean people will be coming to you with cases?
Yes, that was why I was called upon. They want my contribution to the peace and development of the community.
I suppose you are the only woman in the council of chiefs, how do you feel about that and how are you going to cope?
I will just be myself.
Don’t you think they will intimidate you?
They cannot I will be myself.
I will tell them what I know is right. If I see that there will be controversy. I will drop the matter and take it up next time until I buy over their hearts. It is not a matter of struggling. It is a matter of subtle  persuasion.
How are you going to use this your position to better the lots of women in your community?
We will organise programmes for them, teaching them the norms of the society. most times when a man dies, the wife is accused of killing him, but no man is ever accused of killing his wife. So if we should start having programmes sensitising men and women about it, I think such things will be reduced. I will also work to see that more women get educated.
As a Christian, don’t you think it is not proper to take such a title that will see you mingling with “unbelievers” and engaging in ungodly’ activities?
It is good for a Christian to take such title so that if the other members of the council are doing what is contrary to the word of God you will correct them and say “No, this thing is not good”. But if you are out there an say you are a Christian and you don’t want to participate, how will they know that what they are doing is wrong. They wouldn’t know.
What if they want you to take part in some fetish, traditional that might not be in accordance with your faith as a Christian?
You will tell them politely that this is not good and give them reasons why such act is not good. A day before I was coronated, they told me that there were things and things and things that they would do. I told them no, this is a civilized time, such things shouldn’t be done and they did not do it.
I know some people will frown at a woman being given such exalted position. What can you say to that?
That’s their own mentality. If I should go school and sit down with a man in the same class room, a woman will make first class, woman will go to school and obtain first degree, second degree, what is wrong with the woman taking a title? There is nothing wrong with a woman taking a title.
You know we belong to a society where many believe women should only be seen and not heard!
We are not dragging anything with men. All we ask is that they should give us chance for our voice to be heard. It’s just a matter of allowing women give them opinions on issues that concern them and everything in the community. Even in your house you give opinion, then what will make you not to give opinion outside?
What do you stand to gain as Eze Omehieli I of Evekwu Odegu Community?
What I stand to gain is to see that my women are  carried along.
There is no material gain?
Nothing! Nothing! But if that should come in a right way, I will take.
How do you hope to marry your duties as a chief and your official duties?
All that is required is proper time management. I will plan my self very well, hoping that the time they sit doesn’t coincide with my work.
How often do they sit?
They sit ones every week.
What do you have to tell other communities?
What I have to tell other communities is that they should take a lead from Evekwu, Odegu community. They should know that women also have something to contribute. Women also have the ability to build the nation. They should recognise and empower women just as my community did.

 

Calista Ezeaku

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Justice Prevails Over Osinachi’s Death

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Unfortunately, the widower of the late gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja.
The husband of the deceased, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu, was sentenced to death by Justice Njideka Nwosu-Iheme.
The Federal High Court Judge, reports say, found Mr Peter Nwachukwu guilty of culpable homicide leading to the death of his wife, Osinachi, which occurred on April 8, 2022.
The ruling on the death of Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, deserves a big clap for the Nigerian Judiciary because of the high rate of domestic violence on women in the society.
This, I believe will serve as a deterrent to others now and in the future.
Lessons learned from her death are numerous, girls and women especially must be able to distinguish between oppression and submission. A woman has to be heard before she dies.
According to reports, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja. How will the children feel? What about the Nwachukwu family?
Ordinary people like us may not be able to judge but the judiciary has finally done justice to late Osinachi’s case.
Time has come when families have to start checking out on their kinsmen concerning marital affairs. Families who give out their daughters and sisters in marriage need to do a follow-up from time to time, to ensure they are comfortable. This does not mean total control in anyway.
Everybody is born of a woman, who is someone’s sister, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, niece, aunt and so on. Like the saying, “rain does not fall on one person’s roof”.
Women are weaker emotionally, so should be handled softly. No matter how large in size some women may appear, they are very frigile.
Late Osinachi Nwachukwu, was one of Nigeria’s gospel singers that her music was so inspirational. During crusades and religious programmes, the kind of crowds she gathered was something encouraging.
The “Ekwueme” song she featured in, is one of the most inspiring gospel music of our time. Till her death, I never knew she was a contributor to that beautiful music.
The impact of Osinachi’s “Ekwueme” song in the hearts of believers can never be over-emphasised.
Unfortunately, she has gone to be with her creator but will be remembered by all the good lyrics she contributed to produce.
About three years ago, the news of the late gospel singer became viral with so many persons expressing their views on what would have caused her death. So many stories were told but the issue of late Osinachi was that allegedly she sustained injuries from her husband as a result of domestic violence.
According to late Osinachi’s elder sister, who gave account of what happened to her sister, she died of blood clothing in the chest from her husband beating her chest. She said her late sister was exposed to inhuman treatments from her husband before her untimely death and denied her sister dying as a result of cancer. “She did not die of cancer”, she exposed.
Osinachi’s family sources explained that severally before her demise, they had told her to leave her marriage, having seen what she was passing through, but she never accepted the advice.
It was gathered that the family members had advised her to separate from the husband at least, since it was not divorce but she refused.
Osinachi as a believer and gospel singer might have felt that she could pray to overcome the challenges of marriage.
She would have also thought that if she left or separated from her matrimonial home, that would affect her ministry. She might have felt that God is against divorce.
As humans, there are certain things you can never easily agree with. But I think that when it comes to saving life, it is better to adhere to advice.
Of course, two good heads are better one. No one person knows it all. As a believer, she saw separation as a sin and not to save her life and take care of her children. She would tell them to relax while praying for her husband to have a change of attitude towards her.
Let us assume that the husband beat her on the chest, she refused to tell her family but good enough, she told a friend who lives in Ebonyi State that her husband hit her on the chest.
Unfortunately, they refused to tell the doctor that kind of thing occurred, so as to administer the right drugs immediately. She died leaving her children behind and her husband.
When domestic violence continues to occur in the home, what should the woman do as church people? The issue of “For Better, For Worse”, during holy matrimony by the pastors, our spiritual fathers should be looked into and we need to understand in better ways.
Different people have come up with various opinions about whether marriage should continue or ‘separate’ when domestic violence is on the peak.
Some support while others disagree. Should a woman remain in a marriage when danger is looming? We are not unaware that men too suffer domestic violence, but they do not have much challenge since they may claim to own the home. Sometimes they live outside their homes.
The only regret in calling for separation or divorce is about the well-being of the children. But for marriages that have not been blessed, we need more explanation.
It is becoming more worrisome because when marriages break, the children are at more risk as parents will not live together. I think the best way is to nurture and train kids together. The negative effects of separated homes are so much.
A lot of women have left their matrimonial homes to give peace a chance. Is it the best option? The “worse” during solemnisation cannot be relied upon to encourage enduring matrimonial violence or any other manner of one- sided wickedness. It only refers to shared burden.
It should not be interpreted to accommodate one party in a marriage practising wickedness to the other. Marriage was created as a mutual support and comforting institution and not for anti-social behaviour.
One of late Osinachi’s sons according to reports, revealed that his father told them(his children) that beating women was good and in one of the occasions, they witnessed how he pushed their mother out of her car. They also alleged that their father seized their late mother’s two cars.
It is good to be careful while taking certain actions in the presence of children in homes. Whether it is true or false, the children are watching and must have something to say when time comes.
One of the gospel singers of our time, Osinachi, is late with rumours of her husband contributing to the cause of her death. But the husband denied being responsible for the death of his wife.
He said all the allegations levelled against him were false and claimed that his late wife was sick from year 2021 before she died in 2022.
What can anybody do? Osinachi is not alive to narrate what happened. If only a lesson can be learnt where women especially, will be able to speak out when involved in any form of domestic violence, it will be better.
She would have lived to take care of her kids if she had spoken out on time. She might have been sick of other ailments but because of the revelation coming out of her children, relatives and friends, anyone can just conclude that she died as a result of maltreatment from domestic violence.
Domestic violence affects women the more. When it continues to occur, what should the woman do, separation or divorce?

Osinachi was a native of Isuochi in Abia State and married to Peter from Nnewi in Anambra State.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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The Christian Teaching Mother (II)

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A Christian teaching mother is one who imparts knowledge to her children and others by adhering strictly to the Christian doctrines and practices .
A real and devoted teaching mother should not ask her children and wards to keep malice.
Mothers should know that the way the teaching mother dresses speaks volumes about her while the children are watching. Teach them to dress decently either in your presence or absence.
It is important to teach the children how to respect constituted authorities, especially teachers in schools, at every educational level. Teaching them how to greet and respect elders in their neighbourhood and society at large. Obedience to parents and other elders can help children attain long life.
According to the Scriptures, “obey your parents so that your days may be long on earth”.
Furthermore, a mother should teach the children how to work hard academically instead of sending money to them to buy results and pay mercenariees in examinations.
A situation where parents go to fight teachers on disciplinary actions against their children should be discouraged.
A good teaching mother should teach what she practises as well as keeping the rules because they are watching. It is dangerous to tell lies before the children and of course, they may point such it out immediately. The mother must lead exemplary lifestyle.
The primary role of mothers is to nurture the children to adolescence because some of them cannot differentiate their left from their right.
Devotion of more time to children is very important no matter how tight the mother’s schedule may be. The mother must work hard to make ends meet since only the man cannot bear the responsibilities of keeping the home but the girl-child needs more attention. The children, especially the females need to be guided so as to avoid unwanted pregnancy, they need to be the mother’s friend.
The boys are not left out of the sight of the mothers so that they do not involve in social vices. The mother ought to monitor the boy-child so that he does not impregnate an underaged girl.
Furthermore, women are solution providers because sometimes, men may be soft with the children. Women should utilise the attributes and skills given to them by God.
Regular teaching without ceasing in the homes, church, school and in the public. The mother can spare the rod and spoil the child. Teaching does not only come from the mother, it is a combined effort with the man who is the head of the home. Even when the mother is the breadwinner, she cannot teach alone.
Regrettably, there are challenges hindering women from teaching good morals.
Moreso, busy schedules and absence of the father can hinder women from effective teaching. Mothers may not be teaching everything they are supposed to teach.
Late teaching when the children’s bad behaviour would have got out of hand is very dangerous, so, women must start early so as to catch them young.
A good teaching mother should not feel that the children should bear their father’s name and so if they turn out to be miscreants in future, their father should be held responsible.
King Solomon actually admonished his son thus, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother”.
Truly women need support when they teach. According to the Scriptures, train up a child in the way of God, so that when he or she grows up, he will not depart from it.
It should be noted that one of the tools for teaching is prayer. Daily devotional and constant fellowship with them where you teach the word of God are vital. Living by example by listening to music and differentiating between earthly music and gospel vibes will go a long way in effective teaching.
It is worrisome to note that peer pressure is one of the challenges affecting effective teaching in both schools and homes nowadays. The society is now having negative impact on the adolescents via social media, celebrities and entertainers just to mention but a few. But is better the children choose the right ways of life and eschew bad attitudes.
Good teaching mothers should not make comparison among the children because that may lead to withdrawal syndrome.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women Can Go Without Artificial Beauty

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Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.

Eunice Choko – Kayode

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