Opinion

Conditions For A Happy Marriage

Published

3 years ago

May 12, 2023

No two persons are the same or walk the same path in the journey of life on earth, but we can meet matching companions if we have the good fortune to find them. Robert Louis Stevenson would say that we are all travellers in the wilderness of life; but the best we can find is someone we can call an honest friend. In marital relationship, to find such honest and matching friends, the following ten conditions are vitally necessary, with faith in God for guidance.
Genuine Love between an adult male and female is usually motivated and kindled by a truly heart-felt affinity and empathy; nurtured by some period of close acquaintanceship. Care must be taken to ensure that such love is not fostered by physical considerations such as nice dress, a charming face or some other momentary infatuation. Rather, genuine love evokes some deep feeling of affinity which longs for closer companionship, not based on selfish lust. It does not pander to vices, indulgence, but seeks to ennoble, build up and complement each other.
Loyalty is a strong attribute of love whereby there awakens a personal commitment, conviction and devotion towards lasting relationship. Even where there are competitions and other options, loyalty can make sacrifices without counting losses. Thus there is element of trust in a love that combines with loyalty. Faith grows and sustains loyalty.
Mutual Confidence and Understanding arise and grow where love combines with loyalty, thus fostering harmony in relationships. This condition arises where partners see relationship as an investment, with a strong volition to build up and create lasting values. Justice and honesty give added value to domestic peace and harmony. Tolerance fosters mutual understanding.
Ability to forgive “trespasses”. It is false and wrong to presume that anyone is perfect, having no personal flaws. Neither does it help for anyone to pretend or assume an air of sanctimony. One of the tasks of genuine love is to help a loved one to change and get better, rather than sink further in personal deficiency. Thus the ability to forgive trespasses calls for mutual up-building, through one partner becoming a mirror for the other; to identify personal deficiencies and to correct them on a mutual and complementary basis. Women are better as identifiers and rectifiers of deficiencies, which accounts for the tendency towards nagging; but women’s tantrums can bring about transformations.
Ability to fulfill sex roles. It is a sad but true observation that not all women are genuine women, just as not all men are genuine men. The phenomenon of sex distortion arises from a woman veering into male lifestyle and action pattern, or vice versa. Results of these anomalies manifest in lesbianism, homosexuality, trans-gender freaks and growth of beards by women. These anomalies affect individual blood radiations and hormones which also affect marital relationships. Surely, marriages where there are features of sex distortion or mis-match in sex roles, harmony or happiness would be undermined.
Sharing and caring culture. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand other people’s feelings and problems. Therefore sharing and caring as a domestic culture includes putting oneself in the position of the other partner, rather than pass any judgement without sharing ideas, feelings and problems. The culture of empathy gives a personal touch in relationships, keeping and holding a family together in harmony.
Load-shedding and regeneration. For the purposes of preservation, healing and regeneration of biological and botanical species, there is periodic shedding and renewal of leaves and cells. Any possible threat or obstruction is sensed in advance and changes put in place to contain them; this being an observable immune system we find in nature. Similar system must feature in marital relationship which may be called Sabbath and Jubilees, meant to preserve, heal and regenerate bonds of affinity. There is hardly an easy sail in life, and therefore, during lean seasons, it is necessary to embark on load-shedding, without any feeling of bitterness. Similarly, monotony and boredom should demand planning and taking some regular holiday away from home.
Cultivating a sense of humour. Like local content policy in national economy, an ideal family must cultivate a sense of humour, whereby joys and follies to laugh about should evolve from the grassroots. A two-year-old son told his father that he looked like a “monster” when he had a quarrel with “mother”. That became a family joke whose humour kindles restraint and tolerance. The habit of imitating others or borrowing what is alien and non-indigenous to the family must not be allowed to bring any sad result. An old book titled: The Pleasure of Quarrelling, enumerated the advantages of letting off tension and laughing over irritating experiences. Life of ease and comfort and absence of stress are not determinants of happiness.
Personal discipline. This may also be called self-control, which demands that an individual should learn to hold personal emotions in check, and more so in the domestic environment. Women in particular tend to go out of control when tension and emotions go high, but it would be wrong to ascribe the out-burst of emotions to women alone. In many cases women use their tongues as lashing instrument, but men do worse by their fists for bashing their partners. In every case of mounting tension and emotion, it is advisable to move away momentarily from the scene and source of tension. Personal discipline or self-control also includes addressing those factors and behaviours which cause domestic tension. Cheating in marriage, lavish spending outside when the family is starving and similar wrongs, are often cited as causes of domestic tensions.
Looking together towards a sublime goal. An ancient clergy man reminded married couples that love does not involve two persons looking at and admiring each other, but the two looking together towards a sublime goal which goes beyond mundane issues. Marriage can be boring if there be no stimulus to give additional and regular impetus to it. Neither can such stimulus or impetus be provided by sex and such physical diversions that soon weary and weaken the body. Bringing up children together to become ideal human beings is a sublime task for couples. But when children are grown, that sublime task should extend to a wider human up-building project. It involves humanitarian services, demanding selfless commitment to some high and noble ideals. We must not forget the old idiom which admonishes against being unevenly yoked together with people of different mindset and worldview. In marriage, men should remember that women long for affection, attention and admiration.

Dr Amirize is a retired lecturer, Rivers State University, Port Harcourt.

Opinion

NDDC: Time To Illuminate Homes

Published

3 days ago

March 2, 2026

The Tide

Quote:“Twenty-five years on, the Niger Delta cannot celebrate illuminated streets while families sit in darkness. Development must begin inside the home — where children study, businesses grow, and lives are built — before it glows on the roadside.”

The Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) was established in 2000 with a clear and urgent mandate: to facilitate the rapid, even, and sustainable development of Nigeria’s oil-producing Niger Delta region. The creation of the Commission followed decades of agitation over environmental degradation, infrastructural neglect, and socio-economic marginalization in the region. Its core mandate included the development of roads, bridges, electricity, water supply, health facilities, education, housing, environmental remediation, and economic empowerment initiatives. At inception, expectations were high that the Commission would transform the Niger Delta into a model of regional development. Over the years, the NDDC has indeed implemented numerous projects across the nine Niger Delta states. Roads have been constructed and rehabilitated in several communities, easing transportation challenges.

Schools have been renovated, and new classroom blocks have been provided in underserved areas. Health centres have been built or upgraded, improving access to primary healthcare services. The Commission has also awarded scholarships to students, including foreign postgraduate scholarships, empowering thousands of youths academically.Skills acquisition and youth empowerment programmes have helped many young people gain vocational competencies.Through various interventions, the NDDC has contributed to job creation and local economic stimulation.Solar-powered street lighting projects have been widely implemented in urban and semi-urban communities. These streetlights have improved visibility at night and contributed to enhanced security in some areas. Markets, highways, and public spaces illuminated by solar lights have experienced extended business hours.

For these efforts, the Commission deserves acknowledgment and commendation. However, development must always align with foundational mandates and pressing grassroots realities. A growing concern among residents is that while streets are illuminated, many homes remain in darkness. Rural electrification and household power access remain inconsistent and inadequate across large parts of the region. In riverine and remote communities, families still rely on generators, kerosene lamps, or complete darkness after sunset. The irony of brightly lit streets juxtaposed with powerless homes cannot be ignored. Electricity at the household level directly impacts education, health, and small-scale enterprise. Students cannot effectively study at night without reliable indoor lighting.Families cannot preserve food or power essential appliances without stable electricity.

Micro and small businesses struggle to grow without dependable energy access. While street lighting enhances public aesthetics and security, it does not substitute for domestic electrification. The proverb “charity begins at home” is especially relevant in this context. True community development must first empower households before beautifying public spaces. The Commission’s original mandate emphasizes integrated and sustainable development, not isolated infrastructural gestures. Balanced development requires that energy interventions prioritize homes alongside streets. Solar technology presents a unique opportunity for decentralized household electrification in off-grid communities. Extending solar solutions to individual homes would have a transformative social impact. Home-based solar systems could power lights, fans, small appliances, and communication devices.

Such interventions would reduce poverty, improve living standards, and stimulate grassroots productivity. By broadening its energy focus, the Commission would better reflect the spirit of its founding legislation. This is not a call to abandon street lighting projects, which have their merits. Rather, it is an appeal for balance, inclusivity, and alignment with core developmental objectives. Strategic planning should ensure that rural electrification and household access form a central pillar of ongoing interventions. Community engagement and needs assessments can help determine priority areas for household solar deployment. Twenty-five years after its establishment, the NDDC stands at a reflective moment in its institutional journey. The people of the Niger Delta say: thank you for the efforts so far—but not very much—because true appreciation will come when development begins at home and radiates outward, not merely when streets shine while houses remain in darkness.

By: King Onunwor

Opinion

When Democracy Becomes Too Expensive

Published

3 days ago

March 2, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “When elections become investments to be recovered, governance turns transactional and the moral foundation of democracy begins to erode.”

The high cost of participating in politics in Nigeria remains a serious and growing concern. The trend is rising so sharply that democratic competition increasingly risks becoming the preserve of a wealthy few. From exorbitant party nomination fees to campaign logistics, media exposure, litigation expenses, and regulatory charges such as the proposed ?150 million campaign advertising permit reportedly introduced in Enugu under Governor Peter Mbah, the financial barriers to public office are steadily hardening. If not addressed, this trajectory could erode inclusion, weaken electoral credibility, and deepen corruption within the political system.

Money has always played a role in politics. Elections require funding for mobilisation, communication and administration, while political parties need resources to organise primaries and reach voters across the nation’s diverse terrain. However, when financial demands become excessive, they cease to be necessities and instead become structural barriers that exclude capable citizens from participation.

The Enugu situation provides a troubling case study. Reports indicate that the Enugu State Structures for Signage and Advertisement Agency (ENSSAA) announced a mandatory ?150 million advertising permit fee for parties and candidates participating in the 2026 local government and 2027 general elections. According to the agency’s General Manager, Francis Aninwike, the fee would permit deployment of campaign materials — banners, branded vehicles, T-shirts and handbills — and street rallies, with sanctions for non-compliance.

One is compelled to ask: how can someone vying for office be required to pay ?150 million merely as an advertising permit, separate from nomination forms and other logistics? Where would a civil servant, a teacher earning N70,000 minimum wage, or a young graduate eager to serve find such a sum? How can ordinary citizens compete in a system demanding such staggering outlays?

An opposition party has described the steep fee as a ploy by the All Progressives Congress (APC) in Enugu State to stifle opposition participation. Whether sustained or not, the perception is damaging. Aside from incumbents or those backed by powerful interests, how many candidates can realistically afford ?150 million solely for advertising clearance?

There is no dispute that state agencies have legitimate responsibilities. Regulating outdoor advertising and preventing visual pollution are valid objectives. However, such regulation should not come at a heavy cost to Nigeria’s fragile democracy. The Aninwike-led ENSSAA and similar bodies must recognise that while regulation is necessary, affordability is essential for democratic participation.

The constitutional framework recognises the central role of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) in ensuring free and fair elections. Yet formal administration is only part of the democratic equation. Informal financial pressures — delegate inducements, media monetisation, security logistics and post-election litigation — already multiply the cost of contesting beyond official limits. Massive campaign-related fees further compound an expensive process.

Recent findings presented at a policy engagement organised by the Westminster Foundation for Democracy in Abuja underscored the gravity of the situation. House of Representatives Minority Leader Kingsley Chinda warned that Nigerian politics is becoming an elite preserve in which only those with deep pockets can compete. Access to vast financial resources, he argued, has become a near precondition for political viability, transforming what should be a civic right into an expensive venture.

He noted that politics in Nigeria has been thoroughly monetised, systematically pricing out women, youth and persons with disabilities — the very groups policy frameworks claim to uplift.

The implications are disturbing. In a context where elections are viewed as investments, public office becomes a site of capital recovery. Contracts are inflated, appointments monetised, and governance turns transactional. What emerges is a vicious cycle: only the wealthy can contest, and once in office, they seek to recoup their investment, deepening public cynicism and eroding the moral basis of governance.

Although some parties waived nomination fees for women in 2017 and 2023, and parties such as the Young Progressive Party were formed to promote youth participation, exorbitant campaign expenditures continue to sideline many aspirants. Women accounted for only about 8.4 per cent of candidates in the 2023 general elections, with similarly low youth representation.

The cumulative effect is dangerous. When political entry is determined primarily by financial capacity rather than competence or vision, the recruitment pool narrows drastically. Talented professionals and grassroots organisers may never appear on ballots simply because they cannot afford the price of entry. A system that filters out merit while rewarding wealth weakens governance outcomes.

Nigeria must therefore treat rising electoral costs not as routine complaints but as democratic stability concerns. Political parties should drastically reduce nomination fees, especially for women, youth and persons with disabilities. Transparent fundraising and spending disclosures should replace opaque financing structures.

Regulatory agencies must balance administrative control with democratic openness. Campaign advertising fees should be proportionate and structured in ways that do not create artificial barriers. INEC and other enforcement institutions must strengthen monitoring of spending ceilings and apply meaningful sanctions for violations.

Civil society, the media and professional bodies also have critical roles to play. Public discourse should prioritise issue-based campaigns rather than money-driven spectacle.

Ultimately, democracy thrives not merely when elections are conducted, but when they are genuinely accessible. Political participation must remain a civic right, not a luxury commodity. Nigeria’s democratic journey cannot afford to drift into a system where leadership selection depends primarily on financial muscle rather than merit and service.

By: Calista Ezeaku

Opinion

Righteous Leadership Still Thrives

Published

1 week ago

February 23, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “Institutional decay is not irreversible when integrity and action sit at the helm.”

In every institution, there comes a defining moment when leadership either deepens decline or inspires rebirth. For the Rivers State Newspaper Corporation (Publishers of The Tide), that defining moment arrived when the Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Information, Sir. Honour Sirawoo Ph.D, came to share the premises with the Staff of The Corporation due to the ongoing renovation work at the State Secretariat. For years, the physical condition of the corporation mirrored the uncertainty that hung in the air. Leaking roofs told silent stories during the rainy season, damaged floors bore the weight of neglect, and the once vibrant environment seemed to plead for urgent attention. Staff members worked under conditions that tested both resilience and commitment. Buckets placed strategically to catch dripping water became a routine sight at some quarters, while cracked tiles and weathered walls diminished the pride that should accompany service in a state-owned media institution.

Yet, in the midst of these challenges, hope was not entirely lost. There remained a collective belief that with purposeful leadership, restoration was possible. That hope found expression when Honour Sirawoo Ph.D., Permanent Secretary in the Rivers State Ministry of Information, assumed as a co-occupier. His arrival was quiet, but his impact would soon resonate loudly across the premises.Leadership, it is often said, is not about occupying an office but about occupying responsibility. From his earliest inspections of the corporation’s facilities, it became evident that he saw not just buildings in disrepair, but a workforce deserving of dignity.The transformation began swiftly. Contractors appeared on site. Assessments were carried out with precision. Plans were not merely announced; they were implemented. Leaking roofs that had long defied repair were carefully amended.

For the first time in years, staff could listen to rainfall without anxiety. Damaged floors were reconstructed, restoring both safety and aesthetics. Walking through the corridors no longer required cautious navigation around broken surfaces. The fencing of the premises, once a pressing security concern, became a priority. A properly secured environment now speaks of order, responsibility, and foresight. General maintenance, often overlooked in public institutions, was institutionalized. From structural reinforcements to aesthetic upgrades, the corporation began to wear a new look. But beyond bricks and mortar, something deeper changed. Morale improved. Staff productivity increased. The psychological boost of working in a conducive environment cannot be overstated. The transformation has not merely been cosmetic; it has been cultural.

Workers now speak with renewed pride about their workplace. Visitors to the premises have noticed the difference. The once tired-looking structures now stand as testimony to what decisive leadership can accomplish. In governance, righteousness is reflected in fairness, diligence, and a genuine concern for people. These virtues have characterized the stewardship of Honour Sirawoo Ph.D.His approach demonstrates that public office is a sacred trust, not a ceremonial title. He has shown that administrative leadership can be both compassionate and result-driven.The improvements at the corporation align with a broader vision of strengthening information dissemination in Rivers State. A vibrant media institution is essential for democratic growth.By restoring the physical infrastructure of The Tide, he has indirectly strengthened the voice of the state. Journalists and editors now operate in an atmosphere that encourages excellence.

It is often said that environment influences output. The recent editions and renewed energy within the newsroom reflect this truth. When righteous leadership prevails, systems respond positively. Accountability replaces complacency, and progress becomes measurable. Honour Sirawoo Ph.D. has exemplified a leadership style rooted in integrity and practical action. He did not merely acknowledge problems; he confronted them. Such commitment deserves recognition beyond routine commendation. It speaks to a capacity for higher responsibilities within the state’s administrative architecture. Rivers State stands at a critical juncture where visionary administrators are needed across ministries and agencies. Leaders who understand that development begins with attention to detail are invaluable. The transformation at the Rivers State Newspaper Corporation serves as a case study in responsive governance. It proves that institutional decay is not irreversible.

Higher positions of trust demand proven competence, moral uprightness, and administrative foresight. In these respects, Honour Sirawoo Ph.D. has demonstrated remarkable readiness. His performance suggests suitability not only for continued leadership within the Ministry of Information but also for broader strategic roles that shape state policy. Beyond the state, Nigeria’s public service landscape requires administrators who combine academic depth with practical efficiency. His credentials and achievements place him in that league. “When the righteous bear rule, the people rejoice” is more than a biblical aphorism; it is a lived experience within the corporation today. The chapter of the Holy Bible that declares, “When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice”, (Proverbs 29:2), is a timeless reminder that good governance brings joy and stability to the people.

The joy of the staff is visible in their renewed dedication. The pride of ownership has returned. The institution breathes again. History often remembers leaders not for speeches but for tangible impact. The restored roofs, repaired floors, secured fences, and ongoing maintenance are enduring symbols of purposeful governance. The place started its journey to new looks with the arrival of the acting General Manager, Stella Gbaraba, who in her little way, initiated and executed some repair works in the premises. It will be worthy to point out that the duo are of the Ogoni extraction of the state, it is then safe to say that the combination is superb in that it has produced some excellent results. Importantly, the Permanent Secretary did not stop at The Tide Newspaper premises alone. His vision of renewal extended beyond a single institution to embrace all the State owned media houses under the ministry’s supervision.

At Rivers State Television, he executed massive renovation works that redefined the operational environment. Offices were upgraded, structural defects corrected, and modern standards restored to a facility that serves as a visual voice of the state. State-of-the-art office equipment were procured to enhance efficiency, ensuring that staff members could perform their duties with contemporary tools befitting a modern broadcast station. Radio Rivers too also got its own share of the Permanent Secretary’s benevolence and team spirit. Understanding the strategic importance of radio in grassroots communication, he ensured that critical infrastructure received attention. He provided them with steady power supply, reducing the interruptions that once hampered seamless broadcasting and ensuring consistency in programming delivery.

A functional Out Broadcast Van (OB Van) was made available, expanding the station’s capacity for live coverage of events across the state and beyond. The studios were upgraded to be up-to-date, improving sound quality, technical operations, and overall broadcast standards in line with modern expectations. Garden City Radio equally got its own touch in a superlative way. Renovation, equipment upgrades, and operational enhancements positioned the station on a stronger footing. Across the board, his interventions were not selective but comprehensive, reflecting a leadership philosophy anchored on inclusiveness and institutional strengthening. His target generally is to leave the State-owned media houses in a better shape than he met them. That objective is not rhetorical; it is practical and measurable in bricks, cables, studios, offices, and renewed human confidence.

By strengthening television, radio, and print under one coordinated vision, he has reinforced the information architecture of Rivers State. The cumulative effect of these interventions is a more vibrant, responsive, and professional state media system capable of meeting contemporary communication demands. As the Rivers State Newspaper Corporation along side its sister state-owned media houses continue their journey, it does so strengthened by the evidence that righteous leadership still thrives. And indeed, when the righteous bear rule, the people truly rejoice.

By: King Onunwor