Opinion

The Disorder We Order

Published

7 years ago

April 24, 2019

This piece is based on anecdotes of the experience of two individuals in Rivers State separated by the 20 years between the Second and Fourth Republics. The objective is to explain, not justify, certain behaviors from the perspective of what society inadvertently orders based on the actions of authority figures and the docility of civil society. The first anecdote is my personal experience in the political arena during the Second Republic while the second deals with the undercurrents that Rivers State was embroiled in during the 2019 general elections as a result of the resolve of Rt. Honourable Chibuike Amaechi to unseat his bosom friend, Governor Nyesom Wike, from office. This is an endeavour in psychoanalysis; the commonality of the behaviours in the anecdotes is what to ruminate on towards avoiding ordering disorder in future.
From rock musicianship during the late 1960s to early 1970s, I navigated through Radio Nigeria, Port Harcourt as a disc jockey, had a brief stint at College of Education, Oromineke and travelled to the US in 1973 for further studies. Returning in November 1979, Hon. Engr. Victor Masi, then Minister of Works, introduced me to Governor Melford Okilo who directed that I be appointed General Manager of Rivers State Newspaper Corporation but was advised otherwise as a result of the mandatory National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) scheme; I was, therefore, deployed as Senior Special Assistant (SSA) to the Secretary to the State Government (SSG), allocated an official car and moved into Suite 459, Hotel Presidential, Port Harcourt where I took residence for the service year. My immediate boss (Prof William W. Ogionwo) assigned me to cover Executive Council (EXCO) matters, which required that I attend EXCO meetings with him; a rather meteoric rise in the system.
At 11.00am every Wednesday, the governor, his deputy, commissioners and those of us who were executive messengers, gathered in the Banquet Hall and had brunch during which we chatted and quipped virtually at status parity before settling down to business. At EXCO, I sat behind my boss and to my left sat a consummate gentleman by name Boma G.E. Charles who was Permanent Secretary (Cabinet) and so sat behind the Head of Service (HOS), Chief Ekuku Wokocha. Incidentally, it was Mr. Charles who, as Permanent Secretary (Education) and Chairman of Scholarship Board, signed my scholarship documents in 1973; the account of that fateful day belongs in another episode and there I was sitting next to him in functional parity. Again, in the political plans of succession of National Party of Nigeria (NPN), a few young people were being groomed for various positions in the future; I was slated for SSG come 1987. Naturally, my pituitary gland started expanding, illusions of grandeur set in and I started floating in the clouds with a bloated sense of self-worth, so to speak.
At breakfast one morning, the manager of Hotel Presidential whispered that I should bring back the monthly renewal paper. Prof Ogionwo was out of town and so I took the paper to the HOS who had equal mandate. He looked at it, looked at me and wrote “No” on the paper and circled it with red ink. For a second, I was confused; so, I went back to my office and sat, head in hand. Shortly thereafter, Precious Ngelali, who I introduced to the hotel arrangement, strolled by with his Caucasian wife, greeted and said he was going to see my “brother” (HOS and I are from the same place) for the usual paper. I did not want to discourage him, so I said “good luck buddy.” In less than 10 minutes, Ngelali swung by with the paper signed. Goodness gracious!!! I was livid with rage. Just then, my secretary rushed in and announced that SSG needed my attention. Gladly, I rushed to him, welcomed him, quickly tidied up his directives, reproduced the monthly approval paper and he signed. That did it. I stormed into the HOS’s office, showed him the approval and said so many unprintable things to him. Everybody in the room scampered for a hiding place while he and I engaged in a shouting match in English and Ogba. It took the timely intervention of Captain Elechi Amadi, who I had become acquainted with, to take me out of the office.
Now, think of it: a youth corper?! A bloody blinking youth corper?! In a shouting match with the HOS?! Unthinkable! I had not even entered the first rung of the bureaucratic hierarchy while the HOS was at the apex of the structure. We were worlds apart in the system but, for me, the system and its structure did not exist; I had not been groomed in the norms and culture of the bureaucratic system, so it did not exist.
That was 1980; fast forward to 1999. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi held no job in any formal organization in the strict sense of the term; so, from nowhere, so to speak, he contested for election into Rivers State House of Assembly and lost, according to the Electoral Commission. However, he went to court, was declared winner and, subsequently, elected the Speaker of the House. Following eight years of Speakership, he vied for gubernatorial candidacy of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), won but was set aside in the K-Leg saga; his kinsman, Barr Celestine Omehia, took his place and was elected Governor of Rivers State. However, Amaechi went to court and was declared winner in total disregard of the “vote and be voted for” requirement of the electoral law; he was sworn in as Governor of Rivers State. So, Amaechi was taught that the way to the apex of the superstructures of public office is by undermining the system.
In summation, the two dramatis personae shared exactly the same bloated state of mind as a result of their meteoric rise in the system; the difference is in the circumstances: whereas the effrontery and outburst of the youth corper were limited to the Office of the Head of Service, the latter case resulted in state-wide insecurity, the death of so many people and the near violation of the vote. In either case, the point is that when you take someone who never held any employment in a formal organization and undermine the system by hoisting him on the structure, you have succeeded in exploding his pituitary and thus creating a superman that would have no regard whatsoever for the processes and procedures of the system.
The gospel truth is that in the two instances, the system was undermined resulting in the aberrant behaviour of the beneficiaries. It is therefore recommended thus: (1) appointees to political positions should have certain basic experience or be subjected to seminars and psychological reprogramming at the takeoff of the appointment and (2) granted that there are requirements for election into the legislature, there should also be certain other stringent requirements for appointment to the position of Speaker, given the strategic position of the office. The second recommendation will, naturally, raise the bar for entry into the legislature as most constituencies would desire to field candidates who possess the requisite qualification for Speakership; it will therefore create room for more qualitative, mature and circumspect individuals and, hopefully, guard against our ordering disorder in the future.
Dr Osai lectures at the Rivers State University, PH.

Jason Osai

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

3 days ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

3 days ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”

Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.

Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.

Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.

Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.

Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.

The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.

By; Confidence Adoo

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’ Prescription

Published

2 weeks ago

June 8, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”

The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.

Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,

when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.

Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?

Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.

Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi