Opinion
What Type Of Father Are You?
Third Sunday in June every year is traditionally
celebrated as Father’s Day by Churches all over the world since 1927. It is a day on which people give cards and presents to their fathers.
The Fathers Union, now called Men Christian Association (MCA) in many churches is the body that takes care of arranging this unique day. Men Christian Association, which celebrates Fathers Day, is a strong fellowship of Christian Men with a vision to:
* Promote Christian faith in the sphere of marriage and family life,
* Regularly, read, study, discuss the scripture and pray together and encourage couples to wed and more importantly,
*Encourage parents to bring up their children in a Christian way.
As we marked this great event penultimate week, every man was urged to be a good father.
Growing up with a father is so sweet encouraging in life, especially when he is friendly to you as a young boy. But what kind of a young father are you to your son? Are you the roaring king of the jungle that when you come home every living soul scatters or the sweet dad that when you appear everyone chants Daddy oyoyo, Daddy oyoyo.
Many African men have had a difficult childhood that they have to extend their wrath to their wives and children to prove they are the man in the house (Oga, Nna yi uku). One does not have to roar to be respected as the head of the family.
You will always win that respect if you are caring and loving. When you are a rough, wild father, all that you can earn is fear.
This reminds me of one day in a catechism class where the man of God trying to explain how loving God is compared him to a loving father. “God is loving, he is like a father, he said.
On hearing that statement, one body stood up and walked away in protest. When asked why he had to do that, the boy said that if God was like his father then he must be a bad god and he hates him. The boy had never experienced his dad’s love. The father was a drunkard who would batter the boy whenever he came home.
The boy grew to hate him so much that he did not want to hear anything concerning fathers. One wonders what kind of a father he is himself now.
Fathers your sons need your love and guidance for them to be good future fathers. Remembers a good tree is nurtured while young. What we experience during childhood is likely to influence our adulthood. A dad is a person, who is loving and kind. He often knowns what you have on your mind. He is someone who listens, suggests and defends. A dad can be one of your best friends.
He is always proud of your triumphs, but when things go wrong, a dad can be patient and helpful and strong. In all that you do, dad’s love plays a part. There is always a place for him deep in your heart. And each year that passes you are even more glad, more grateful and proud just to call him your dad.
When boys are growing, they always want to emulate their fathers. They think no one is stronger than dad, no one can be wiser than him. When is rough the boys will grow to be rough in life. If an old man had been a good father, he will always be thanked for listening and caring, for giving and sharing more especially for being him.
The kind of father you are today will determine what kind of old man you may make, a happy one or miserable old man depending on how you treated your children.
The father, scripturally is the leader of his “Nuclear State”, his family, and a leader is a person who has commanding authority or influence in the state.
There were in our midst a large number of fathers as we celebrated this year’s Father’s Day. And it is pertinent that we fathers appreciate our God given role in our various nuclear families and in the church. This we ought to do by demonstrating exemplary leadership life style as demonstrated by our trusted counsellor, Jesus, the universal supreme leader, The King of kings. The Holy Book, has something to say about desiring to be a leader. In 1st Timothy 3, Apostle Paul gives some of the key good qualities for leader, integrity, upright, trust worthy, faithful, good morals, compassionate, not corrupt, selfless, not a drunkard and must be approachable.
Leaders generally are well advised to take this advice for the good of our families, our church and our country and posterity.
It is far more better for every father to endeavour to bring up his children in the Godly way and keep a good name for the family and posterity. On the other hand, it is bad, very bad to leave the children un-attended, to become the pursuer of worldly things. This can bring everlasting shame to the family.
It is equally important that the father recognises the role of the mother (his wife) in the family. The father certainly is the head and the wife (the mother) the neck. It is impossible for the head to stand and function effectively without the neck. It is thus of utmost importance that the man (the father) establishes a cordial relationship with the wife at every given time, all through his life time.
Some of the essential things he must not overlook are,
*You should not beat your wife.
*You shall not nag your wife.
*You should not be absent or unavailable in the house without the knowledge and consent of your wife.
*You should not intimidate your wife.
*You should not neglect the needs of your family.
*You should not make family decisions by yourself alone.
*You should not falsely accuse your wife.
*You should not hide anything from your wife.
*You should not be hard-hearted and tough with your wife, Eph. 4:31-32.
It is said that when wealth is lost, nothing is lost, when health is lost something is lost. But when character is lost everything is lost. Father in understanding, be a man.
Sir Ichoku, a retired Director of Public Enlightenment, Rivers State Ministry of Information, is “Father of The Year” St. Michael (Ang) Church, Omoku.
Anthony Ichoku
Opinion
Wike VS Soldier’s Altercation: Matters Arising
The events that unfolded in Abuja on Tuesday November 11, 2025 between the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike and a detachment of soldiers guarding a disputed property, led by Adams Yerima, a commissioned Naval Officer, may go down as one of the defining images of Nigeria’s democratic contradictions. It was not merely a quarrel over land. It was a confrontation between civil authority and the military legacy that still hovers over our national life.
Nyesom Wike, fiery and fearless as always, was seen on video exchanging words with a uniformed officer who refused to grant him passage to inspect a parcel of land alleged to have been illegally acquired. The minister’s voice rose, his temper flared, and the soldier, too, stood his ground, insisting on his own authority. Around them, aides, security men, and bystanders watched, stunned, as two embodiments of the Nigerian state clashed in the open.
The images spread fast, igniting debates across drawing rooms, beer parlours, and social media platforms. Some hailed Wike for standing up to military arrogance; others scolded him for perceived disrespect to the armed forces. Yet beneath the noise lies a deeper question about what sort of society we are building and whether power in Nigeria truly understands the limits of its own reach.
It is tragic that, more than two decades into civil rule, the relationship between the civilian arm of government and the military remains fragile and poorly understood. The presence of soldiers in a land dispute between private individuals and the city administration is, by all civic standards, an aberration. It recalls a dark era when might was right, and uniforms conferred immunity against accountability.
Wike’s anger, even if fiery, was rooted in a legitimate concern: that no individual, however connected or retired, should deploy the military to protect personal interests. That sentiment echoes the fundamental democratic creed that the law is supreme, not personalities. If his passion overshot decorum, it was perhaps a reflection of a nation weary of impunity.
On the other hand, the soldier in question is a symbol of another truth: that discipline, respect for order, and duty to hierarchy are ingrained in our armed forces. He may have been caught between conflicting instructions one from his superiors, another from a civilian minister exercising his lawful authority. The confusion points not to personal failure but to institutional dysfunction.
It is, therefore, simplistic to turn the incident into a morality play of good versus evil.
*********”**** What happened was an institutional embarrassment. Both men represented facets of the same failing system a polity still learning how to reconcile authority with civility, law with loyalty, and service with restraint.
In fairness, Wike has shown himself as a man of uncommon courage. Whether in Rivers State or at the FCTA, he does not shy away from confrontation. Yet courage without composure often feeds misunderstanding. A public officer must always be the cooler head, even when provoked, because the power of example outweighs the satisfaction of winning an argument.
Conversely, soldiers, too, must be reminded that their uniforms do not place them above civilian oversight. The military exists to defend the nation, not to enforce property claims or intimidate lawful authorities. Their participation in purely civil matters corrodes the image of the institution and erodes public trust.
One cannot overlook the irony: in a country where kidnappers roam highways and bandits sack villages, armed men are posted to guard contested land in the capital. It reflects misplaced priorities and distorted values. The Nigerian soldier, trained to defend sovereignty, should not be drawn into private or bureaucratic tussles.
Sycophancy remains the greatest ailment of our political culture. Many of those who now cheer one side or the other do so not out of conviction but out of convenience. Tomorrow they will switch allegiance. True patriotism lies not in defending personalities but in defending principles. A people enslaved by flattery cannot nurture a culture of justice.
The Nigerian elite must learn to submit to the same laws that govern the poor. When big men fence off public land and use connections to shield their interests, they mock the very constitution they swore to uphold. The FCT, as the mirror of national order, must not become a jungle where only the powerful can build.
The lesson for Wike himself is also clear: power is best exercised with calmness. The weight of his office demands more than bravery; it demands statesmanship. To lead is not merely to command, but to persuade — even those who resist your authority.
Equally, the lesson for the armed forces is that professionalism shines brightest in restraint. Obedience to illegal orders is not loyalty; it is complicity. The soldier who stands on the side of justice protects both his honour and the dignity of his uniform.
The Presidency, too, must see this episode as a wake-up call to clarify institutional boundaries. If soldiers can be drawn into civil enforcement without authorization, then our democracy remains at risk of subtle militarization. The constitution must speak louder than confusion.
The Nigerian public deserves better than spectacles of ego. We crave leaders who rise above emotion and officers who respect civilian supremacy. Our children must not inherit a nation where authority means shouting matches and intimidation in public glare.
Every democracy matures through such tests. What matters is whether we learn the right lessons. The British once had generals who defied parliament; the Americans once fought over states’ rights; Nigeria, too, must pass through her own growing pains but with humility, not hubris.
If the confrontation has stirred discomfort, then perhaps it has done the nation some good. It forces a conversation long overdue: Who truly owns the state — the citizen or the powerful? Can we build a Nigeria where institutions, not individuals, define our destiny?
As the dust settles, both the FCTA and the military hierarchy must conduct impartial investigations. The truth must be established — not to shame anyone, but to restore order. Where laws were broken, consequences must follow. Where misunderstandings occurred, apologies must be offered.
Let the rule of law triumph over the rule of impulse. Let civility triumph over confrontation. Let governance return to the path of dialogue and procedure.
Nigeria cannot continue to oscillate between civilian bravado and military arrogance. Both impulses spring from the same insecurity — the fear of losing control. True leadership lies in the ability to trust institutions to do their work without coercion.
Those who witnessed the clash saw a drama of two gladiators. One in starched khaki, one in well-cut suit. Both proud, both unyielding. But a nation cannot be built on stubbornness; it must be built on understanding. Power, when it meets power, should produce order, not chaos.
We must resist the temptation to glorify temper. Governance is not warfare; it is stewardship. The citizen watches, the world observes, and history records. How we handle moments like this will define our collective maturity.
The confrontation may have ended without violence, but it left deep questions in the national conscience. When men of authority quarrel in the open, institutions tremble. The people, once again, become spectators in a theatre of misplaced pride.
It is time for all who hold office — civilian or military — to remember that they serve under the same flag. That flag is neither khaki nor political colour; it is green-white-green, and it demands humility.
No victor, no vanquish only a lesson for a nation still learning to govern itself with dignity.
By; King Onunwor
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