Women are the inherent part of our society who cannot
be neglected, notwithstanding their less power and authority. Roles of womanhood in the society is one that can never be ignored by any individual.
Women are so important and indispensable that they cannot be confined to their houses. This is moreso as they have in recent times, proven themselves to be active members of the society in many areas of endeavours.
In order for a  society to be progressive, both men and women should think, dress and behave in ways that allow pure thoughts and actions to dominate the ways of life and create a social climate conducive for the achievement of the real goal of life.
It is on this bases that I bring to the fore the ordeals faced by women upon the death of their husbands despite all they go through as women in homes and the society as if they were no longer humans.
Bereavement is a social fact in any culture, but reactions and practices relating to this vary from culture to culture.
Many people never ponder over what happens to a man who loses his wife to the cold hand of death? Why is it that cruel practices are not meted on widower and nobody hears of any thing like custom and tradition when a man loses his wife? Are all these still pointing to the world being that of men?
There is something called widowhood rites in most parts of Africa and may be in other parts of the world too. These are specific things that the wife of a deceased man has to fulfill, but there is no such thing as widower rites. If anybody knows of any that fellow should indicate.
When a wife dies, society sympathises with the widower. When a husband dies, the community starts questioning the circumstances surrounding the death of the man and examine invincible motives that his wife may have to kill him. Without any proof or trail, widows are accused of killing their husbands. It becomes mandatory to show public display of emotions so that people will see how distressed the widow is. Widows who do not cry (screaming and shouting) are considered heartless and unconventional. But it is forgotten that shock sometimes make people unable to cry and that the level, height and magnitude of the wailing do not ascertain innocence or magnitude of pain.
In certain parts of Nigeria, the maltreatment of widows is common so do other African countries. In-laws and the community subject them to physical and emotional abuses such as being made to sit at the back of the door and on the floor, being confined from a month to one year, having their hair literally scrapped off with razor or broken bottles, not being allowed to observe personal hygiene; being made to routinely weep in public; being forced to drink the water used to wash their husbands’ corpse among other atrocities, then crowned by the loss of inheritance rights and eviction.
When a woman loses her  husband, a civilized society should rally round to support her and her children, not the reverse. Causing her more pain than she is already going through at the death of the bread winner is just plain evil.
There are many reasons why widows go through this problem, but it is hardly ever for justice. Some families use it as a strategy to get back at the widow especially if they did not approve of the marriage and also if it is perceived that the woman was a hindrance to partaking in their brother’s wealth, they take away the property that the deceased left behind regardless if he had children or left a will. In other communities, it is just mandatory to go through the process because it is considered a thing of shame to lose your husband.
Widowhood in the traditional African context is a religio-cultural symbol that can have profound spiritual implications for the widow. Other levels of reality that widowhood symbolizes include the awareness that African Society is oppressive, impoverishing and violent towards widows. As seen when relatives of the deceased husbands commit atrocities in the name of tradition against widows and the widow herself may encounter destructive emotional problems such as fear and anger coupled with health deterioration.
Most women lack the knowledge that it is their right to report such matters to the police, others lack the money to follow procedures, but most often they fear the consequences of trying to report this violation of their human rights because most times the police do send back cases like this to be handled by the family by describing it as a family matter or customary. What will be such a woman’s fate?
Women in power like the Permanent Secretrary, Rivers State Ministry of Women Affairs, Dr Justina Jumbo, during this year’s International Widow’s Day celebration had advised women all over the world never to be idle, but equip themselves by having a means of livelihood, irrespective of their status, to be economically stable in the society. Facts have it that 115 million widows in the world live in poverty, suffer stigmatization and economic deprivation as a result of their husbands’ demise.
Communities generally, men and boys specifically must be assisted to recognise and understand the widows disadvantaged situation in order to be aided to take steps to help them overcome it. Through social widowhood education, men and women can be enabled collectively and individually to take full control over their lives and situations so as to overcome problems of irrational beliefs, superstition, ignorance, illiteracy and psychological suppression.
In order for widows in Africa to be integrated into the support systems of their communities, they need a friendly culture which specifies dignified ways in which the community expects them to behave and how they should be treated by their kin and those of their deceased husbands.
Culture, tradition and law have been identified as the bane of safe widowhood practices in Nigeria, which, if not adequately addressed , are capable of undermining the realisation of some goals in Nigeria.
Let me borrow from Senator Esuene’s speech: Cultural and traditional practices constitute more than 70 per cent of the problems of widows in Nigeria. Even where marriages were contracted under the ordinance, cultural practices will be experienced especially where the widow is ignorant of her right or is financially incapacitated to fight the legal battle. Unfortunately, it is the conflict in the marriage law that is the root of the inheritance problem to widows.”
State Houses of Assembly should speed up actions on all legislations to remove legal obstacles to social justice for women. Appeal also goes to traditional rulers and elders of communities to take a closer look at evil widowhood practices with a view to amending or eradicating them.
In the light of the foregoing, men should set their homes in order by writing legally viable wills before their deaths and wives attaining some type of economic independence from their husbands. Also, there should be legal backing that is, enactment of laws for widows’ protection. Women should in the same way try to be in good terms with their husbands and family members as it is often the extended family members who engineer the execution of the harmful practices.
Women groups, NGOs and government wings for women should carry out sensitisation and awareness campaigns in communities, meet with community heads and elders. Re-education campaigns for women because it is women that carry out the outrageous practices on their fellow women. Provisions should be made for suffering widows, empowerment for women so as to stand up for themselves and challenge particularly cruel and unjust rituals and cultural practices.
Issues around mourning, remarriage, inheritance, status in the household and society should be given serious attention.
Solving the problems of widows in Africa means addressing the inequitable power regimes characterised by vulnerability, stigma, discrimination and suffering.
Widows should be celebrated and encouraged at all times they are victimized. Celebrate them always especially every 23rd June as International Widows’ Day.
Ogbonda is an intern with The Tide.

Igechi Ogbonda