Women

Can Spouses Cheat And Still Love The Cheater?

Published

6 years ago

March 5, 2020

It is impossible to love someone and cheat on them. People who cheat on others are not necessarily bad people (most likely they are), but they definitely know nothing about love. Cheaters are almost always very insecure. They are insecure because they did not experience love, being wanted, in their formative years. They don’t know love, don’t recognize love, cannot recognize it when someone loves them. They really don’t know what it is, and have insanely unrealistic ideas about it, usually acquired from storybooks and movies. Or from desperate fantasies resulting from extreme emotional deprivation in the past (as the fasting person dreams beautiful dreams about steak and ice cream). They wring others dry trying to get their fantasy to come true. And have little use for people who cannot make those fantasies real. And no one can. We all know that cheaters cheat, and never just once, and never just on one person. No one can satisfy them.
So they distrust others who claim to love them, because it never looks beautiful and true enough. They feel that the other person is lying to them, doesn’t love them, is perhaps playing them for a fool, and probably cheating on them. They don’t feel respected or valuable, are so self-absorbed and hurting, and are always distrustful, suspicious.
They are always busy protecting themselves from all the bad people in the world, including you. If you tell them that you love them, you are a liar. You are really out to use them and cheat on them.
They have very little energy to care about anyone else. Their energy is all used up fighting against ghosts.
Cheating is natural for such a person. For them, it’s not even really cheating. It’s protection, revenge. It’s the name of the game. (“She’s probably thinking about cheating on me anyway. I’ll cheat on her first. Payback in advance.”) Love and trust are not even on the radar. They are constantly looking for validation, for soothing, looking to be convinced that they mean something. They “love” someone to the extent that they get what they seek: a taste of the love that they dream about. But very soon, they see flaws in the other person. The other person does not meet up to their dreams. The other person “clearly” does not really love them. The other person is dishonest. Or manipulative. Or dysfunctional. Or a cad. Or a slut.
At this point, cheating becomes natural, not a big deal at all, because the other person (the cheatee) has ceased to have any real value, and has “proven” that they are unable to meet the needs of the cheater.
(In fact, for the cheater, his ability to hurt his partner is proof (to him) that he has value, that he means something, and is a demonstration of the love that he looks for. Cheaters feel worthless, unseen, insecure, unsure, unacknowledged. The power to hurt someone, to make someone cry because of them, is near ecstasy. ”My God! Look at those tears. She must really love me!” But that euphoria lasts for maybe a few hours. The cheater is insatiable.)
It makes no sense to say that you can cheat on someone you love. It makes more sense to hold that if you cheat on a person, you don’t give a darn about him or her.
Compare the cheater to the person who would no sooner cheat on his or her partner than punch a baby or kill a puppy. There are people who think that cheating on their partner is an abomination, as bad as anything you can do, and would find it impossible to do.
There are some people who find a love, never cheat, never think about it. They are in love, never stop being in love. And even if they stop being in love, they gave their word and intend on keeping it. They are much different from the person who finds someone, and proceeds to lie to, hurt, and cheat on that person.
There is such a thing as love. And it does not involve cheating. If someone cheats on you, don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that that person loves you. They do not.
If someone cheats on you, you have been cheated. You have been duped, tricked. You have been slapped in the face. You have been lied to, disrespected, devalued, shat upon. Even people who Hate you don’t treat you that badly! If you go on to trust or depend on that person, be sure that you will one day be very sorry you did. And then it will be your fault.
In fact, what better proof could there be that your partner does not love you, than if he or she cheats on you? What more do you need?
Culled from Question-Quora https://www.quora.com.

Compiled By Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Women

How to Tackle Child Rape

Published

21 hours ago

February 27, 2026

The Tide

Child rape is a profound human rights violation that inflicts lasting physical, emotional, and psychological scars on its victims.

Among the most vulnerable groups, girl children face a disproportionate amount of sexual abuse globally, reflecting deep-rooted societal, cultural, and systemic failures.

Despite international laws and local measures aimed at protecting children, rape and sexual violence against girl children remain a pervasive problem in many parts of the world. The rape of girl children is alarmingly prevalent worldwide.

According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), one in four girls experiences some form of sexual abuse before the age of 18. This abuse occurs across all socio-economic, cultural, and geographical divides. The underreporting of sexual violence against children, fueled by fear, stigma, and victim-blaming, makes it difficult to grasp the true scale of the problem.

Reports from organizations like UNICEF and Human Rights Watch highlight that in some regions, girl children are specifically targeted due to the belief that they are “pure” or “virgin,” making them more vulnerable to cultural myths that suggest intercourse with a virgin can cure diseases like HIV/AIDS. These deeply harmful beliefs exacerbate the risk for young girls, particularly in countries where educational and legal protections are weak.

A range of factors contributes to the high incidence of rape against girl children, many of which are embedded in patriarchal and misogynistic beliefs. In some cultures, girls are viewed as inferior or subservient to males, making them easy targets for exploitation. The normalization of gender-based violence in some communities means that abuse often goes unnoticed, unreported, or unpunished.

Child marriages, which remain prevalent in some parts of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, are another contributing factor. When girls are married off as children, they are often exposed to sexual violence under the guise of marital relations. These young brides, who are typically powerless in these situations, often endure repeated sexual abuse from their significantly older husbands.

Additionally, in conflict zones, girl children are disproportionately affected by sexual violence, used as tools of war by armed groups to terrorize communities. Such exploitation results in severe trauma and long-lasting consequences for victims.

Rape and sexual abuse leave devastating effects on a girl child, both physically and mentally. Physically, young girls are not developed enough to handle sexual intercourse, leading to severe injuries, infections, and even death in extreme cases. Many victims also face long-term reproductive health issues, including infertility, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and complications in future pregnancies.

The psychological toll is equally profound. Victims often suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health conditions. The stigma associated with sexual violence further isolates them from their families and communities, leaving them vulnerable to further exploitation or abuse.

The educational consequences are also significant. Many victims drop out of school due to the trauma, fear of facing their abusers, or the stigma attached to rape. This creates a cycle of poverty and dependence, further reducing their life chances.

Access to justice for child rape victims is often fraught with challenges. In many countries, laws around sexual violence are outdated, under-enforced, or not well understood. Law enforcement agencies frequently lack the training or resources to handle cases of child sexual abuse appropriately, leading to further victimization during investigations.

In some cases, cultural practices such as “settling” rape cases between families, or forcing victims to marry their rapists, prevent victims from receiving the justice they deserve. This not only robs the victim of agency but perpetuates a culture of impunity where perpetrators feel empowered to commit further acts of violence.

Additionally, the social stigma surrounding rape prevents many girl children from coming forward. Fear of blame, retaliation, or being ostracized by their communities often keeps victims silent, allowing abusers to continue their crimes unchecked.

Internationally, the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) and the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) both call for an end to all forms of violence against children, including sexual abuse. Organizations such as UNICEF, Plan International, and Save the Children have been instrumental in raising awareness, supporting survivors, and lobbying for stronger laws and protections.

On a national level, many countries have taken steps to strengthen legal frameworks to protect children from sexual violence. Child protection laws, survivor-centered legal reforms, and harsher penalties for offenders have been introduced in several countries. However, effective implementation remains a challenge in many places due to corruption, weak legal systems, and deep-seated cultural barriers.

To truly address the epidemic of child rape, a multi-faceted approach is needed that tackles the root causes of the problem.

Education and Empowerment of girl-children can go a long way in preventing rape cases in the society. Educating girls about their rights, providing them with life skills, and empowering them to speak out against violence are crucial steps in preventing abuse. Equally important is educating boys and men about consent, respect, and gender equality to shift harmful patriarchal norms.

Girls and women need stronger legal protection to escape some the rape cases that occur regularly. Governments must prioritize the implementation of robust child protection laws, ensuring that law enforcement agents are well-trained and sensitized to handle cases of child rape. Special courts for handling cases involving children, victim support services, and protective measures should be readily available to survivors.

If we have to curb child rape menace, community engagement must be included in the process. Engaging communities to change attitudes toward girl-children and dismantling harmful gender norms is essential. Community leaders, religious figures, and educators can play a pivotal role in shifting mindsets and promoting zero tolerance for violence against children.

Furthermore, there is the need for support for survivours of rape. Comprehensive support systems for survivors are critical for the rest of their lives. These include access to psychological counselling, medical care, legal aid, and safe spaces where victims can heal and rebuild their lives. Schools should also provide supportive environments to help victims continue their education without fear of stigma or discrimination.

Global Advocacy and Accountability from World Health Organisation (WHO), UNICEF, and other relevant agencies should as a matter of fact continue to create more awareness and sensitization on the need to save the girl-child. International organizations and governments must continue to advocate for the protection of children’s rights, ensuring that perpetrators are held accountable. Monitoring mechanisms, transparency in legal proceedings, and collaboration between countries are key to fighting transnational issues like child trafficking for sexual exploitation.

It is worrisome to note in this 21st century, as the world is a global village, fully digitalized, when the girl-children should be allowed to showcase their potentials, instead they are trafficked to do jobs that will harm their lives.

Parents particularly, should have the number of children they can cater for. They should also pay attention to the ones they have.

Moreso, the boy-children and the men should be sensitized on the need to stop the menace.

Rape and sexual violence against girl-children is one of the gravest injustices of our time, robbing millions of their childhoods and futures. While progress has been made, there is still much work to be done to protect the most vulnerable among us. It is only through collective action, from governments, communities, families, and international organizations, that we can create a world where girl- children are safe, empowered, and free from violence.

Perpetual Oluchi Izuegbunam

Women

Who Is A Classic Woman?

Published

2 months ago

January 9, 2026

The Tide

A classic woman is one who has identified herself in terms of fashion, occupation or the kind of business she does.

A woman can be classical in the way she entertains her audience in terms of music and movies. You will discover that some female musicians are identified with the kind of music they sing.

A classical woman is one who always wants to appear trendy.

Generally, classical women are normally identified with the kind of things they are involved in.

There are ladies that want to be identified with wearing of shorts (short trousers) in the public. They use it to showcase their beauty. They want to be identified with such things as they see it as socialisation.

Some wear trousers that are so tight just to showcase all the curves they possess.

Consultant stylists and etiquette experts say some fashions won by some persons are inappropriate because of how and when they are won.

A classic woman is supposed to dress properly. She should be able to wear clothes that will not expose hidden parts of her body. When such occurs, then it is indecent dressing.

Ladies should be known for two things, classical and beauty. One can be classic with minimisation. The minimum woman should go is to look good, decent and presentable.

Some ladies like wearing short skirts but no matter how short the skirt is, it should look elegant. The skirt should not be too short like the mini-skirt.

Dressing or fashion depends on the environment the persons finds herself. The kind of clothes won to the office may be different from the one won at home. Likewise, a dress won to a party may be different from the one won too swimming pool.

For one to look classical or decent, body shape should be taken into consideration.

Colours of a particular fashion can make one look odd or nice. Looking model does not mean that one should go naked or dull.

Don’t wear clothes that you need to drag from time to time in order not to expose yourself.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

Women

Emohua Widows Receive Items From Ogbakor Ikwerre California

Published

2 months ago

January 8, 2026

The Tide

A Non-Governmental Organization, (NGO) Ogbakor Ikwerre,California, DBA, Ikwerre Community Association, California, through it’s outreach projects has donated food items to over 300 Widows in Rumuekpe and Rumuji in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State.

Speaking during the handover of the items to the women leaders of the communities in Emohua, yesterday, the team leader of the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California, Dr Christiana Chukumati, said that the donation is an annual event that has been on since 2014.

According to her, the NGO is donating the items among the four local government area of Ikwerre adding that this year is for widows in Rumuekpe and Rumuji communities.

“Today is Rumuekpe and Rumuji communities, next we are going to another Ikwerre local government area also.

” The NGO has been carrying on the activities since 2014 within the

Ikwerre communities”, Dr Chukumati said.

She thanked the Royal father of Rumuekpe, His Royal Highness, Golden Amb. Christian Amadi, Eze Chigu and the Royal Highness of Rumuji and Odegu Kingdom, Ohna Christian Okachineke Elechi Newe-Eli (the xv) for receiving them in their communities.

The team leader also promised the Royal Highness that whenever the NGO has any other items for the communities, she we do well to bring it to them.

Receiving the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California in Rumuekpe, His Royal Highness Golden Christian Amadi, praised the NGO for funding his clan among the communities.

According to the Highness, my community is the only oil producing community in Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State, adding that his community is feeding the local government area, the state and the nation.

“I thank my children over there in California for remembering the widows in my Kingdom for the food items they brought.

” I pray to God to help them to do also to other Ikwerre communities.

” I want to tell them also that Rumuekpe Kingdom is till undeveloped.

” As you can see the community is nothing to show to the people, I want to beg the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) and the Rivers State government to come to our aid to develop our community. We are underdeveloped”

“God will bless my children over there in California”, His Royal Highness Amadi prayed.

In her words, the women leader of Rumuekpe community, Comfort Njoku, said that she was happy for the gift items given to them adding that it is not easy to remember the widows.

She explained that in Rumuekpe, the widows have not seen such a gift before and prayed that is only God that will reward them.

“I want to thank the Ogbakor Ikweree Community Association in California for giving us this items in this festival. We thank God for them and the leader of the group, Mrs Chukumati.

” What we received today we have not seen it in our community before for widows”, Mrs Njoku stated.

Meanwhile, in Rumuji community, His Royal Highness, Ohna Christian Okachineke Elechi, said that he lacked words to thank the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California for the gift to the widows in his communities.

According to him, today is historic in the history of Rumuji community that our children in oversea can remember us, I am very excited and happy over the items.

“I feel very very happy, it is good that our children recognize the widows in my community today.

” I did not know them before but now I know them, I pray to God Almighty to pay them back for their effort and that they will not lack.

“I pray God to continue to bless them in whatever things they are doing” he stated.

Earlier, the oldest woman in Rumuji community, Nletem Josiah, who spoke in her local language interpreted by the woman leader, Agor Leah Onugbom, thanked the Ogbakor Ikwerre Community Association in California for the gift adding that her husband died many years ago that has caused her hardship.

” In my age and these people come and give me these food items, is only God that will bless them for me.

” This Xmas I will eat and be happy so I want to thank them and that my God, God will bless them for me”, Mama Josiah said.

By: Kiadum Edookor