Social/Kiddies
How To Deal With Common Problems Of Adolescence (2)
Social problems Coping with the Social problems of dating and relationships is another issue with adolescents.
Attraction to the opposite sex begins during puberty. Adolescence is the time when their sexual or reproductive organs start developing. At such a vulnerable time, it is but natural for teens to feel awkward in social situations. Teenagers want to have an identity of their own. They tend to look up to role models at home or outside.
Adolescents also start thinking about what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and question your take on certain things. They need time to understand and get comfortable with their sexuality. Girls and boys start experiencing ‘weird’ feelings towards the other sex and may not know what to do about it.
This is the time they start dating. Your adolescent may not be comfortable talking to you about it and may go with little information or misinformation they have about it.
Competition problems
Competition is another important aspect of a teenager’s social life. Your child may compete with her peers in anything and everything. Their spirit of competition speaks a lot about their perception of self – whether they have a positive self-esteem or a negative one.
Sexual feelings and thoughts of sex may seem wrong to an adolescent, because of which they may feel guilty.
Their social circle expands during this time as they seem occupied interacting with friends on social media sites, through their phone and outside.
Here is how you can deal with social problems of adolescence. Dating, romance, and sex are delicate issues that your teenager may not be comfortable talking about. Do not make it more awkward for your child. Be confident and rational when discussing the subject.
Your child may seem to spend more time outside than with you. Accept that your adolescents are discovering a whole new world. Just let them know you are there when they need you.
Sharing your dating and social life experiences in school can put them at ease sometimes.
Sexual health – unplanned pregnancy and STIs.
The development of secondary sexual characteristics during adolescence gives rise to new feelings in teenagers and pushes them to experiment with their bodies.
Adolescence is the time when teens experience their first kiss, the intimate dance with their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ and secret make out sessions.
Without proper guidance, teenagers may become sexually active before they are ready. This could result in unwanted pregnancies. Unwanted pregnancy is the biggest risk that adolescent girls face.
Unprotected sex can also lead to sexually transmitted diseases like, HIV. To prevent these, parents and guardians should have ‘the talk’ with their children or wards as they may already be learning about sexual health and reproduction at school. Your duty as a parent is to ensure that they understand the importance of safe sex.
The hormonal changes in teenagers may make them act impulsively. Your teen may not like it but it is important that you talk to them about the consequences of unprotected sex and how it can change their life.
Awareness is the only way to prevent early pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in adolescents.
The most worrisome challenge presently is the addiction to cyberspace. The advent of social media has changed the way we interact with each other. It has affected teenage lifestyles the most.
Your teen may seem to spend hours on phone, texting, talking or simply playing. Adolescents addicted to the internet tend to have fewer friends and a less active social life. They lead solitary lives and are happy browsing the internet for hours.
Addiction to cyberspace also cuts short their physical activities, resulting in an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle. Internet addiction adversely impacts academic performance.
Do not assume that your child is addicted to the internet just because he or she spends a lot of time in front of the computer. They could be doing more productive things on the system other than surfing the net.
Do not say ‘no’ to the Internet. That will only make them adamant. Instead, talk about your concerns and help them work on other things that do not require a computer.
You could use parental controls, but that may not be taken well by your teen – remember that they are not kids anymore. At the same time, they may also not have the judgment to make the right choices. So guide them as a parent, but never decide for them.
Enroll them in activities that encourage them to interact with others. Have family activities that will make them want to spend less time at the computer.
Have some cyber rules and boundaries for everybody at home. Limit the use of the mobile phone to a few hours in a day, and avoid bringing the phone to the bedroom as it is likely to affect a person’s sleep.
Aggression and violence
Aggression is especially a concern with adolescent boys. Young boys start to develop muscles, grow tall and have a coarser, manly voice. In addition to that, they are moody and vulnerable and can let others get under their skin.
Adolescent boys can get into fights at school. Worse, they could start bullying others, which is a major problem that adolescent boys and girls have to deal with.
Boys may fall into bad company and be drawn to acts of violence, vandalism, and aggression. They could be easily swayed to own or use a firearm or a weapon too.
Impulse acts of violence can lead to serious consequences, including death. According to the WHO report, interpersonal violence causes around 180 adolescent deaths around the world.
Teenage girls are likely to suffer violence or aggression by a partner.
Children tend to imitate what they see at home. The following remedies for problems of adolescence will help abate aggression, violence and related issues.
Teach your children to be kind and considerate. Nurturing relationships at home can help them become less aggressive.
Prevent access to firearms and alcohol early to prevent violence.
Teach them life skills and the importance of compassion. Lead them by being their model.
Avoid exposing them to violent stories, games or movies at an age when they cannot differentiate between what is right and wrong.
Make them try alternative ways, such as going for a run, doing yoga or using a punch bag, for venting out their anger. This way, they understand that it is alright to be angry but how they deal with it makes all the difference.
Parents play an important role in adolescents’ behaviour development. Educating your teen about possible problems and their solutions can have a positive impact. Understanding their feelings and giving suggestions could reduce conflicts than being judgmental or rude to them.
Setting up clear rules on bad behaviours and drug use may help your teen stay away from it. Establishing good and friendly communication with your child can encourage them to speak up about their issues to you and seek your help.
You may have been a teenager yourself. But once you become a parent to a teen, you seem clueless. Think about it – your adolescent is at an age that you have already been through. Be empathetic and try to understand what your child is going through. That makes dealing with their problems easier.
Social/Kiddies
Need For Girl-Child Education In Society
Girl-child education is a way by which a girl- child is being exposed through formal education for proper education.
It is a process whereby a girl-child is being exposed to some certain things according to “teachmit@wp”.
Girl-child education refers to the aspect of education that ends at developing the skills and knowledge of girls and women no matter their backgrounds.
Some parents think that educating a girl- child is wasting of their resources. No. When a female child is educated, it gives her that respect even the husband cannot treat her anyhow because he will know her worth.
The importance of educating the girl- child cannot be overemphasised. It helps to empower the country and makes them have a better life. Once they are educated, they realise the importance of exhibiting good hygiene habits.
It may interest you to know that when a girl-child is educated, she has a sense of belonging in the society. In Nigeria nowadays, they have the potential of becoming governors, chairmen of local government areas, among others.
The tendency of taking cognisance of the importance of reduction in child bearing is high. When a woman is educated, the level in which she will give birth will reduce considering the dangers inherent.
Firstly, she will calculate herself and know when to conceive, although with the consent of her husband and the numbers of children she wants.
A girl who is educated will know how to educate her children properly. She will be of good benefits to the family.
Truly, a girl who is not properly educated will suffer lack of knowledge, fall into early marriage which will lead into early pregnancy. Some of these can cause domestic violence.
Women need education because without proper knowledge, a woman cannot run her home properly. A woman that is educated leads her home aright.
Some men use and take advantage of uneducated women by rendering all kinds of abuses on them, some rape their wives in course of making love and others insults their wives in public all because there is no education. In life, males and females should be educated without discrimination.
Furthermore, educating a girl-child is like investing in a big business that one will not run into a loss.
According to Dr Shaifali, girls’ education is like sowing the seed which gives rise to a revitalised, cheerful and full-grown family plants.
She also said educated women have the capacity to bring socio- economic changes.
Growing up from the family of three, my father told me that he was not ready to train a female child and when I asked why, he said: ” because when you will grow and become great, then, a man will come from nowhere and marry you and all my money will be wasted. When you marry, your name will be changed that means all your riches and wealth will become your husband’s own because you people are one”.
Frankly, I was very bitter with myself and I started questioning God that why was I not created as man, but I took it upon myself that weather the devil likes it or not, I will prove my father wrong by going to school and I will show the difference.
As parents when training children we should not think less of any child because every child is important and have value.
Every child is a blessing from God. This is a clarion call to all men of our present society to accord their wives the respect they deserve. A man can develop his wife after marriage.
Education plays an important role in the life of a girl-child. Let every girl-child be educated. The government should provide the society with basic amenities such as good schools that are well-equipped.
Parents from time to time should be re-oriented in this regard taking cognisance of the importance of developing the girl-child. None should be misled by saying that the girl-child need not attend formal education.
Since some parents do not have the wherewithal to sponsor their children, governments at all levels should introduce free education to give room for equal opportunity. Bursary payment should be re-introduced in all higher educational institutions.
Education is the bedrock of any society therefore women education cannot end in the kitchen.
Princess Npapa
Princess Npapa is a student of Pan Africa Institute of Management and Technology.
Social/Kiddies
Celebrating Woman As An Icon Of Strength
A woman is a dynamic multifaceted individual who embodies resilience, courage and determination.
She is a game changer and a force to be reckon with, a confidant empowered, supportive, adaptable and inspirational.
Many had asked why women are being celebrated even as recorded in calendar so frequently unlike men and I said, a woman being multifaceted and embodies resilience and determination is worth being celebrated unlike in the 80s when women were meant to understand that their place was in the kitchen of their husbands’ houses.
What an amazing level of development where women can choose a career and work on themselves and know that there is more to life than being in the kitchen and ending up in a man’s house with nothing to show for it.
Women are the strongest versions of the gender of humans in the world even in their silence, women hold a depth of emotions, questions and unspoken thoughts. Their smiles often conceal their true feelings, masking their fears, doubts and desires.
Despite these challenges, women continue to rise above, shattering glass ceilings and pushing boundaries.
Today innovative, women are enterprenuers, leaders, and change agents. Inspiring women like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie and many others have paved the way for future generation, their achievements serve as testaments to women’s strength, resilience and capabilities.
The calendar tell us how unique the woman is and her significance in the home and society at large. As a woman, she holds power and I celebrate every woman out there in the world irrespective of how you may have fallen, you shall rise above the challenges, support one another and celebrate collective strength and resilience.
Woman as an icon of strength is not just about individual achievements but creating supportive networks, uplifting others and celebrating collective success, defying expectations and redefining what it means to be a strong woman.
The strength and bravery of women are worthy of celebration by the entire world as none is unique as the epitome of nation builders, character molders and pacesetters not just in their family but to the society at large.
A woman is a selfless mother, lover and care giver to her family, a daughter who supports her parents, as a sister’s unshakeable bond with her siblings and a friends unconditional empathy and understanding.
These acts of kindness and love are not most times talked about but hold families and communities together and bonding strong women are powerful beings who have impacted the society, shaping the foundation of the world from the 80s to date, I personally want to celebrate all the icons of strength who had fought and are still fighting , that our voices as women are heard even unto the ends of time.
I celebrate you all amazing women for standing strong and paving ways for the future generation for equality, justice and human rights. To the rising child, teenager and adults who happen to be a ‘woman’, I celebrate our collective efforts, our strength in helping one another to rise, irrespective of our differences in our backgrounds.
We are super humans, unique beings, no wonder the Bible acknowledges the importance of our strength. Therefore, let’s celebrate every woman out there.
Kate Chisom Isiocha
Isiocha, is a student of Temple Gate Polytechnic.
Social/Kiddies
Children And Basics Of Family
It is the idea of God that family should exit. Children form part of the family. God loves family so much that Jesus was born into the family of Joseph.
Everyone’s family is good and important. Children should not look down on their family whether they are rich or poor.
Children should respect and honour their family and foster love among their siblings. They should work together and make peace in the family. They should always stand in the gap. It is good for family members to carry all along since everyone may not be doing well.
The Christianity that children learn is practised in family. Faith-based organisations do a great job in moulding children’s character. Those are the behaviours that children exhibit towards siblings in family.
Every child born in a family is there for a purpose. A baby born into a family is supplying something. It may be joy, wealth and so on. Everyone is important in a family.
Adolescents who have graduated from school but may not be contributing financially can do one or two things at home. You can engage in preparing meals at home while parents are away for a job or business. Contributing in house chores will go a long way to relieve parents of stress after a day’s job.
What do you contribute to your family, especially during holidays both in nuclear and extended family?
The family you were born is constant but friends are temporary. You can decide not to continue in friendship but you cannot cut off your family. No matter how bad you think your family is and you decide to leave home, you must surely return. Your friends can harbour you for a while.
The child’s first identity comes from the family. What the child learns first comes from the family.
Family is the centre of love and care. People have started playing down on marriage because of neglect on basics of family. Marriage starts today and and the next few months, it is threatened. Respect for family plays a crucial role in marriage.
No child grows without parental control and influence. If a child refuses to grow without taking instructions from parents, he may grow up being wild. There are consequences when children do not obey their parents. There are those who want to be rebellious against their parents. They should know that their length of days are tied to their parents.
Your bioligical parents know you more than every other person. There is the wisdom and knowledge your parents have that you do not so it is proper to listen to them before choosing carriers both in academics and job. A young man or woman can choose who to get married to, but a greater role in the choice of who to marry and the marriage proper comes from the parents.
They know what is best for you. No matter how modern trends will influence you and prove it wrong, parent is the key. No one can love you more than your parents because they are your blood.
A lot of parents have been traumatised due to the fact that children they nurtured and trained turned their back on them at older age. Children should not abandon their parents for any reason.
As you grow up, situations may arise in marriage when you decide it is over with your spouse, but no matter the level of provocation with your parents, they will not despise you. Parents will also play a role in that regard. Problem arises in every family but how it is handled matters a lot.
Some children honour their mentors more than their parents. Although there are parents who shy away from their responsibilities. It is important that parents take full responsibility of their children. You cannot bring a child to the planet earth and refuse to perform roles as a parent. But parents may not quantify what they spent from childhood to adolescence. That is a blessing children cannot get from another person.
There are people who have attributed their failure in life to the fact that their parents, especially mothers are witchcraft. It is wrong to feel that your mother is instrumental to your failure in life. The only way to success is hardwork.
Let money not determine the level of love for your parents. Wherever a child goes, family is constant.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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