Opinion
On Divorce And Marriage Sanctity
It is becoming very alarming and disheartening, the rate at which married people sue for divorce or end marriage relationship, even informally.
According to a traditional media report, in Ogun State, more than 2000 cases of divorce were filed in courts in that state in the month of February 2021.
This is only a tip of the iceberg concerning several marriages that have dissolved informally and several others in courts across various states in the country.
This development is not only gory and traumatic. It should be a source of concern to all who have regard for the sanctity of marriage and sanity of society.
Marriage was God’s architecture; it was instituted and ordained by God when he gave Eve to Adam. God designed marriage for companionship, communion, fellowship and procreation. Sexual intercourse is expressed only within the bond of matrimony; hence it was when God gave Eve to Adam that scripture says “Adam knew Eve”.
Marriage thus became the first and oldest human institution in the world, followed by government and state. Marriage is the embryo of the family and family is not only the basic unit of society but a primary institution of socialisation. Therefore, marriage remains the undisputed catalyst of every human organisation and society, including the church, school, etc.
The family, it is further said without controversy, is the reflection of society. Bad families produce bad society and bad families will inevitably produce bad church members. The family plays a pivotal role in the moral and growth indices of society.
This is why the increase in quest for divorce is to say the least, a travesty on sanctity of the word of God and sex purity and our value system. Divorce should pose a burden to any person who is committed to the moral development of society.
What could be responsible for such unacceptable rate of divorce cases and several uneasy calm that pervade many homes, even when God created all things beautiful?
I remember also forewarning couples to-be, to beware of “Third party” in their relationship, including unhealthy parental influence. I have also discovered, much to my dismay, most marriages break as a result of irreconcilable frivolities- things that should not matter; things Saint Paul describes as “be careful for nothing”.
It is unfortunate that some churches encourage divorce by wedding people who are known to have married, and have had children in their marriage, without making reasonable efforts to ensure that the frosty relationship was healed, thus making those members “adulterers” according to the original standard of God.
However, as some couples don’t see reason to continue in matrimony, others even celebrate Golden Jubilee in marriage school that people are supposed to graduate only at death.
A curious journalist once asked a couple, what could have been responsible for their time-tested long years in marriage. The answer, though not far-fetched, is seemingly unbelievable.
Hear what the man said in response to the question plied to him: It is because we disagree to agree. That implies maturity, isn’t it?
That also presupposes that many marriages hit the rock because of immaturity, intolerance and lack of forgiveness. An enduring marriage is, however, not a protection against divorce.
Every human relationship is prone to disagreement but love which embodies, tolerance and forgiveness are the essential balm that soothes frayed nerves and keeps the relationship on without a third party interference. People must cultivate the virtue and trait of resolving conflict in marriage without allowing an outsider’s intervention. What cannot be addressed by the couple may not be addressed by any person, after all; especially if the couple refused to bury the hatchet and give up their pride and dissenting positions. More often than not, third party influences have compounded problems and caused incalculable damage in marriage that have resulted in avoidable divorce.
The Bible gives the recipe for a successful, effective, result-oriented marital union when it states unequivocally “Husband love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave his life for the church. Wives submit to your husband as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife”.
The truth is that a wife is not a property or a slave to the husband. She is an image of God and a veritable partner in the marriage project, which is why Eve was taken from the ribs of Adam; not from his head so that she will not rule over the man, or from the foot so she would not be treated as a slave, seen as a gold digger and a nonentity. Women must also respect and submit to their husbands even though the husband failed in his breadwinner responsibility.
Husbands are required to love their wives sacrificially and unconditionally just as Christ loves the church. The present church is not without challenges, weakness and shortcomings, yet the love of Christ is eternally constant and indivisibly whole.
The beauty of marriage is shared responsibility. Husbands, wives and children should be alive to their responsibilities. They should not allow their roles to suffer because of their church, office and other secular engagements. After all, it is said, “God first, your family second and every other thing third. This remains the hierarchy of acceptable and wisdom-based service and endeavours.
The debilitating consequences of divorce are far-reaching and should not be experienced. Divorce is a social and moral evil. Failed marriages give some gullible minds, the propensity to opt for cohabitation. The thinking, if marriages are not working, why do I go into it makes cohabitation and the consequent sex perversion rosy for such minds. Divorce is, therefore, a perversion of marriage; it destroys the moral fabric of society as most cases of juvenile delinquency, prostitution, cultism, gangsterism, robbery and other social maladies are traceable to broken homes. A broken home cannot produce values that will enhance public morality and ethical standard. The maxim “As the family is, so is the society”, finds ultimate expression and fulfilment in society where broken marriages hold sway.
By: Igbiki Benibo
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