City Crime

There Is Life After Rape – Banigo

Published

4 years ago

October 22, 2021

Have you ever been sexually abused, how does it feel like? Come to think of it, when it is someone close to you that is the culprit, you may have not only felt humiliated, but dehumanised and probably felt the world should collapse on you.
The heaviness of this vicious element upon its victims, is the reason they choose to remain silent. No! You probably do not understand the plight of these ones.
Survivors of sexual violence who decide to speak out publicly go through inexplicable emotional trauma. Often times, they feel a sense of abandonment by friends and family who have difficulty accepting their stories.
It is particularly difficult for survivors of incest or individuals who are accusing a respected member of the community. In an abusive family, the survivor who seeks help is often denounced by the rest of the family.
Family members sometimes resent the fact that the survivor went public with their secret or exposed the problem. She even risks being accused of ruining the family or lying to get attention. Thus, the feeling of abandonment or ostracism. If this has happened to you, realise that you are not alone. You deserve to heal from your trauma.
Remember, the Sexual Violence Survivor’s Bill of Rights states that no one has the right to abuse you or anyone else. No one deserves to be assaulted or abused. You have a right to stop the abuse that is happening to you or anyone else. You have a right to pursue healing and justice for the abuse that has happened. Sexual violence is wrong. The abuser is wrong.People who protect the abuser are wrong. You are not to blame You did not destroy the family or betray their trust by speaking out about your abuse. The perpetrator destroyed the trust of the family every time he/she committed an act of abuse.
In line with this, Rivers State Deputy Governor, Dr. Ipalibo Banigo has called on the survivors of sexual abuse to speak up for the perpetrators of the heinous crime to be punished.
Dr. Banigo, reiterated this during a sensitisation campaign on the theme, “Dealing with Mental Health and Sexual Abuse in Unity Schools”, organised by the Support the Girl – Child Initiative Programme of her Office at the Federal Government College in Port Harcourt.
Dr. Banigo, who through her Senior Special Assistant, Barr. Inegogo Fubara, said the programme was put together because of the importance she attaches to the mental and psychological health of the young people, urged students to speak out whenever they face any form of abuse.
“I want you to understand that the fact that you have been sexually abused is not the end of life, there is life after rape, and there is life after sexual abuse. Do not keep quiet about it, even if it was done at home or in school please speak up.” Dr Banigo quipped.
According to the Deputy Governor, “rape is a criminal offence that is punishable, and the punishment for rape is life imprisonment”. She said even children could be jailed for rape, adding that for a child the punishment could be 14years in imprisonment.
Dr. Banigo said in 2018, the Protect the Girl Child Initiative, organized its first Mental and Sexual Abuse Seminar at the Federal Government Girls College Abuloma, where links about sexual violence and how to stop it and ensure that the voices of survivors were heard was set up.
According to her, “at the seminar in Abuloma, a female student who had been violated repeatedly, since she was eight years old, came out, and the Protect the Girl Child Initiative, in the Office of the Deputy Governor was able to take her out of the environment, provided a safe home for her and ensured that the perpetrator was reported to the police, today she is in her 200 levels in the University”.
She added that, a similar programme for about one thousand three hundred students was held at Holy Rosary College in 2018, where for the first time many students understood what it means to be sexually abused, and realised that it was not the end of the world.
Sexual assault is a life-altering event. Many survivors are affected by the trauma for the rest of their lives. They may suffer from depression, low self-esteem, flashbacks, fear, and difficulty with intimacy. Unfortunately, many of these symptoms are compounded by silence and secrecy.
Often, survivors of sexual assault do not speak out about their experiences because they are ashamed, feel guilty, or blame themselves. Some survivors keep silent out of a sense of duty to family or fear of being ostracised for what happened to them.
During your victimization, (Rosenbloom & Williams, 1999) opined, you may have learned to not express your feelings. To express them may have increased your risk of being harmed. You may also have learned that saying “no” did not work to protect you. In such circumstances, silence may have been the only choice that made sense
As a way of regaining their power from an event that robbed them of control, some survivors find talking about their assault an essential part of the recovery process. Others would want to disclose their experiences to a few close friends and/or family members to end the loneliness or break the family silence. A few may also want to speak out publicly in an attempt to empower themselves and educate others about sexual violence.
Whether you are speaking to a group of one or one hundred, it takes an enormous amount of courage to tell your story. Telling can be transformative. It can help you move through the shame and secrecy that keeps you isolated. It can open doors to understanding and support. Telling is one way you can become a model for other survivors.
It can be empowering to speak out against someone else’s crime. Speaking out can lift the burden of silence. Speaking out publicly is not right for everyone. No one should be pressured to tell their story. Survivors are heroes whether they speak out or not. Speaking out can mean many things – it can mean putting your story on paper for yourself in a journal entry, telling one trusted person, speaking at a national conference of advocates, or testifying on legislation at your state’s legislature.
There are many different levels of telling. Telling a counselor, a friend, a family member, telling publicly, telling in writing will all feel different. You may tell with detachment, anger, sadness, or occasionally, even humor (Bass & Davis, 1988).
In any case, you may need to consider the following before going public. What motivates you to go public? What do you hope to gain? What could you lose? Can you achieve your goals through another means? Is someone or something internally/externally pressuring you to disclose your abuse history? Who and/or what is pressuring you? Are you going to use your real name or a pseudonym? Will you wear a disguise of some sort? Will you be paid? If so, how much? Will the perpetrator be in the audience? Will your perpetrator’s friends or loved ones be there? Is there a chance that others will exploit you or your story? Are there safeguards available to protect against exploitation? Will speaking out publicly hurt you in your present or future career, social life, or family life (including your spouse and children)? Are you willing to take that risk? Have you thought about safety issues? What are they for you? Would telling sever ties to your family that you would like to preserve?
You may also ask yourself if you could live with the possibility of being excluded from family gatherings (i.e. holidays, weddings, funerals)? How would you deal with the loss? Would telling sever ties to friends with whom you would like to stay connected? How would you deal with the loss? What if responses from people are hostile? Are there ways to get grounded as a way to protect against victim-blaming comments and reactions from others?
How might you cope if everyone around you denies your experiences and refuses to believe you. How would the anger you might face from others impact you? What if your audience had no reaction? How would that feel? How would you process and manage your own anger and/or other feelings? What support system is available to you before, during, and after the event? Are friends, family, coworkers, community members, advocates/counselors or members from communities of faith available? Which support people agreed to be available before, during, and after the disclosure? Can you realistically imagine both the worst and best outcomes that might result? Could you live with either one?

By: Sylvia ThanksGod-Amadi

City Crime

Europa League Will Not Save Our Season – Man Utd

Published

1 hour ago

May 1, 2025

The Tide

Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim has said that Europa League success will not “save our season”, but “could change a lot of things in our club”.
After a disappointing domestic campaign, the Old Trafford outfit visited Athletic Club in the first leg of their semi-final last night.
United are 14th in the Premier League, having managed just 39 points from 34 games, but they could still qualify for the Champions League if they win the Europa League.
“Everybody knows that it’s really important for our season,” said Amorim. “We know that nothing is going to save our season, but this can be huge.
“Winning a trophy and also to get in the Champions League, to have European games next year, could change a lot of things in our club, even in the summer.”
United produced a remarkable comeback to reach the semis when they scored two goals in the final minute of extra-time to beat Lyon 5-4 in the second leg of their last-eight tie to win 7-6 on aggregate.
Their form in Europe is in stark contrast to their Premier League struggles and Amorim, who replaced Erik ten Hag in November last year, knows “a lot of things we need to change” even if they lift the trophy.
“Europa League will not change anything in our problems, it’s going to help us to have Champions League next year, more money to spend, but the problems are still there,” added the United boss.
“We have to change the minds of our fans with consistency, good decisions, good recruitment, a good academy. This is what we need to change to take this club back to the top.
“This is more of a shortcut to go to European games. Nothing more.”
United forward Amad Diallo and centre-back Matthijs de Ligt were not ready to start against Athletic Club after returning from injury, while the Spanish side was without top scorer Oihan Sancet.

City Crime

‘NFF Conducted Federation Cup Draw Fairly’

Published

2 weeks ago

April 21, 2025

The Tide

The Nigeria Football Federation has defended the recent quarter-finals draw for the 2025 President Federation Cup, saying it was conducted in line with best global practices.
A member of the NFF Executive Committee Board, George Aluo, stated that criticism over venues for the quarterfinals was unfortunate.
Going by the fixtures released on Saturday by the football body, Abakaliki FC will take on Nasarawa United in Benin, Wikki Tourists will clash with Ikorodu City in Bwari, Abuja, Akwa United and Kwara United will fight it out in Enugu, just as Area 3, Abuja, will host the encounter between Rangers International and Plateau United. All matches are scheduled for May 3rd for the emergence of semifinalists in a leg affair.
However, there have been criticisms over the Ikorodu United vs Wikki Tourist tie billed for Abuja, with a section of the press saying the venue is skewed in favour of the Bauchi team.
Aluo, also the Chairman of the Nigeria National League (NNL), said: “Some of our media men need better education, and newsmen should not be like the fans out there on the streets. In the English FA Cup, it is always a one-legged pairing that can see a club like Arsenal host Manchester United at home”.

City Crime

Prioritise Rivers’ Interest, Fubara Tells RSHA

Published

2 months ago

March 17, 2025

The Tide

Rivers State Governor, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, has said that the other party to the Supreme Court judgment; Rivers State House of Assembly, needed to know that they are also to comply with the ruling, and do so with commitment that prioritises the interest of the State.
The Governor maintained that such resolve must engender collective action towards achieving peace in the State because it serves as the potent medium through which all the arms of Government can function properly while creating public goods that benefit everyone.
Governor Fubara, who spoke at the inauguaration of the 85-year-old Okrika Grammar School in Okrika Local Government Area on Thursday, emphasised that without an enduring peace, sustainable development will be hampered practically, while the sense of security, respect, tolerance, stability, and well-being to pursue goals will suffer.
The Governor said: “Let me thank everyone, and also say this, it is important at this stage that we all embrace peace. The Supreme Court has made its judgment, we don’t have any option than to abide by it.
“And, by the special grace of God, we have started the process. We are appealing to other parties, consider the interest of Rivers State, it is important. The only thing that we owe this State is peace and development. I am open any day, any time for total peace in our State, because if I have to govern well, there is need for peace to prevail.”
Commenting on the project, Governor Fubara recalled how the planning committee of the 20th Anniversary of the Diocese of Okrika Anglican Communion visited, and appealed to him to give the school, dilapidated for a long time, a facelift.
Governor Fubara said he considered their request on the premise of the place the school filled in history and the importance of quality education in addressing some social vices among idle and uneducated youths.
The Governor stated: “I felt the least, as a government, we can do is to uplift the standard of this school. And, it is not out of place, because it is part of our agenda. The key things in this administration’s agenda are healthcare, education and food sufficiency (agriculture).
“So, we immediately keyed into it, and to the glory of God, we are here today to unveil one of the things that we have done, even in the face of these situations confronting our administration, which we didn’t bring upon ourselves. But we give God all the glory.”
Governor Fubara assured the Anglican Church that whatever that is remaining, within the scope of what has been approved in the institution, will be completed, stressing that education has remained the bedrock of development in any society.
He added that if the key ingredients (facilities) to boost education are properly managed, crime will be reduced drastically, saying: “So, I believe that when all the facilities put in place in this school are put into full use, the level of crime, the level of criminality would definitely reduce, not just in Okrika but other neighbouring communities that will benefit from this school.
“I want to assure you that we will continue to do our best because the interest of our State is the most important thing to us. This school is being managed by the church. I believe the church would protect every facility that we have put in this place. The church should see the facility as its own. As a matter of fact, the school belongs to the church, it is not government anymore. What government is doing today is to compliment their effort.”
The Rivers State Governor assured the leadership of the Anglican Church in the area that he will send experts to assess the shore protection concerns expressed by the Bishop, and see what can be done to safeguard the surrounding land of the school from being washed away.
Governor Fubara also challenged the Old Boys of the school to be bold and courageous to take up some strategic projects, especially those they had listed in their address, including establishing a centre for computer-based examinations for external examinations.
Providing the project description, Rivers State Commissioner for Education, Dr Ovy Orluideye Chukwuma, pointed to the massive remodelling and reconstruction work achieved, which has restored the cherished glory of Okrika Grammar School to confirm the commitment of Governor Fubara to quality education of children.
He said, “The construction and equipping of Okrika Grammar School, Okrika in Okrika Local Government Area of Rivers State was awarded in April, 2024 to various contractors, and was duly funded to completion by the Rivers State Government under the administration of Sir Siminalayi Fubara.
“The project consists of an Administrative Block, 24 Classroom Blocks, Laboratory, ICT Library Block, Assembly Hall, 100-bed Male Hostel, 100-bed Female Hostel, Kitchen and Dinning Hall, Matron’s Quarters and Sickbay, Principal’s Quarters, Senior Staff Quarters, Junior Staff Quarters, perimeter fencing, gate, generator house and power supply with extension of electricity, including solar-powered streetlights.
“There are also Vice Principal’s Quarters, sports facilities such as lawn tennis, basketball and school field. Revamping for facelift some of the old buildings such as the old dinning hall, repainting of various old structures and buildings within the premises.”
Dr Chukwuma also said: “There is road network and landscaping of about 1.8kilometers with 1.5kilometer drainage, interlocking connecting buildings, completed road pavements and parking lots, water supply to all the buildings within the compound.
“There is also furnishing and equipping of the entire 14 structures with standard students’ desks, hostel beds, quality and standard furniture, electronics such as 86 air conditioning, both inverter and 1.5 horsepower and 75 smart television sets, 60 computer sets and standard science laboratory.”
In her welcome address, Head of Local Government Administration, Okrika Local Government Area, Mrs Obianime Appollos, said the Okrika Grammar School in Okrika, established in 1940, had remained an iconic institution known for academic excellence, and thanked Governor Fubara for remodelling structures and restoring the status of the institution after years of neglect of all facilities, which demonstrates his commitment to providing quality education, investment in the future of Rivers children and improving the well-being of the people.
Speaking for the Old Boys Association, Mr Golden Iruayenama, said the years of neglect and dilapidation of structures at Okrika Grammar School were worrisome with promises to fix them never materialized until Governor Fubara changed the narrative.
Also speaking, Bishop of Diocese of Okrika Anglican Communion, Rt. Rev. Enoch Atuboyedia, said it will be remembered that it was when the school attained 85 years of existence that Governor Fubara, magnanimously remodelled and resuscitated Okrika Grammar School to help the shaping of the future of Rivers children, educationally.