Opinion
Dangers Of Poor Parental Control
One of the major challenges facing children today is that most parents have failed to inculate in their children from early age, the true African and Biblical tenets that will help them meet up with societal expectations and development. This is why youth restiveness, violence especially among youths and other vices are rife among today’s young people.
Thus, children grow up and become very lazy, constituting nuisance in the society and waiting to be given pittance to perpetrate any kind of evil.
Infact, social development of a child cannot be over-stressed. It is a process in which an individual acquires the ability to behave in accordance with social expectations- which is a behavioural pattern expected by the society of a child. This is to say that his/her behaviour must be in tandem with socially approved pattern.
All the abnormal behaviour seen in children today is as a result of poor parental control.
Indeed, parental control is really lacking in most children right from early age, till they become adults. Worse still, parents do not reprimand their children when they do wrong. Consequently, the children take it as their right to perpetrate such evils. Let us remember that every wrong doing is sin (I John 5:17).
Parents should know that aside procreation there are so much to be done in the proper upbringing of their children, so that they can grow up to be better citizens of the society as well as better candidates of heaven.
In our society today, children have become so disrespectful to God, elders and constituted authorities, and are now treading the path of violence and aggression, and are very lazy to do some household chores. Charity they say begins at home. If you don’t start well from home how will you do well outside?
This brings to mind the five agents of a child development.
*The Family:- This is every child’s first contact and as such very important for parents to inculcate in the child, from early age, good hygiene and toilet habits which include teaching the child how to keep the house and toilet clean, how to cook food for the entire family, and how to take care of his/her own self, so as not to have body odour or contact skin diseases such as ringworm, eczema, scabbies etc.
The child is also taught table manner, sitting positions and even sex education. Creating this awareness, helps the child to avoid child abuse. Most children suffer child abuse today as a result of lack of sex education from early age by their parents. Thus, they are exposed to sexual abuses from even their parents, uncles, aunties, friends, and neighbours.
When this is introduced to the child from early age, he/she will be able to report that uncle or aunty that would want to violate them.
Also, the female child needs very special attention in her early teenage age when she is to experience her first menstrual flow. Their mothers must prepare the mind of the children, teach the children how to change themselves when once this new development occurs in their lives, so that they are not scared or disgraced by this first experience. Rather they would feel very happy to share their experience with their mothers who will in turn welcome them into motherhood and buy new toiletries, pants and pads.
The male child also needs the same special attention as the female child because when he is a teenager too, he faces puberty challenges that translates into new experiences. And if not taught about this experience he will engage in masturbation which can be destructive. The child can also face some sexual abuses from their parents which make them develop hatred that can lead to killing any woman that they come across.
*The peer group:- Parents should monitor their child’s peer groups as it is very important and very strong and have greater influence on the child, especially when the child starts behaving and liking what his/her peers wear. Every good parent must ensure that their children are not negatively influenced.
*Religion:- In order for the child to develop correctly in his/her way, parents must mold some social behavior into their children. The child must have respect for constituted authorities, elders, friends, colleagues, among others.
*The school:- This is very important because the child interacts with others and so makes socialization become very formal as they freely relate with one another and be respectful to teachers and prefects.
The Social Media:- These are websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. We are in the era of internet facilities where so many things are exposed to our children. This communicates certain pattern of behavior, both negative and positive to our children.
Though a panacea for youth restiveness that may destroy their future, it gives them hope to live life to its fullness and keeps them always busy through browsing, pinging, chatting among others.
Parents should guide their children on important values and standards in terms of online choices. Also, parents should review the terms of use for sites and discuss these terms in context of family values.
The negative use of the social media is very huge. For instance, criminals use it to disguise themselves that they are very beautiful girls and would propose friendship, and business deals even when it is obvious they don’t know each other and they will lose their hard earned money and even their lives to these fraudsters.
The child must be totally developed. This has to do with the child’s environment such as the school, home community, church among others.
If the family does not show genuine love to their children, by taking them to church which is a place where their lives are sharpened through the teaching of God’s word and by sending them to good schools, they cannot be socially and intellectually developed which will still tell the high level of lack of parental control.
Susan Serekara-Nwikhana
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