Opinion

Consequences Of High Bride Price

Published

5 years ago

April 29, 2022

Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage. It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-laws at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another. What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she wasn’t really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family. It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent time, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man didn’t complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-laws. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-laws can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in the family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Don’t talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Paying back debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age 50 because he didn’t have enough. Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage. When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognizance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family
heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

Opinion

Professor Kamene Okonjo: A Life Beyond Motherhood

Published

4 days ago

November 2, 2026

The Tide

Quote “Professor Kamene Okonjo’s life was a testament to the power of scholarship, courage and service. Beyond raising a daughter who would attain global prominence, she distinguished herself as an accomplished sociologist, an advocate for women’s empowerment and a royal matriarch whose remarkable journey included surviving a kidnapping at 82. At 96, she leaves behind a legacy that transcends family ties and deserves enduring recognition.”

Some women leave behind more than a family name. They leave behind a legacy of intellectual accomplishment, courage, service and commitment to humanity that deserves to be celebrated long after their departure. Professor Kamene Okonjo, the renowned sociologist, women’s rights advocate and mother of Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Director-General of the World Trade Organisation (WTO), was one such woman. Professor Okonjo died on Friday, October 23, 2026, at the age of 96. Her death was announced on Sunday October 25, 2026 by the Umu Obi Obahai Royal Family of Ogwashi-Uku Kingdom in Delta State. Her passing has drawn tributes to a life distinguished by academic excellence, dedication to family, community service and the advancement of women.

Yet, to remember Professor Kamene Okonjo merely as the mother of one of Nigeria’s most internationally recognised women would be to tell only a part of her story. She was an accomplished academic whose contributions to sociology earned her recognition beyond Nigeria. Her lifelong interest in women’s rights and empowerment reflected a conviction that women deserved opportunities to develop their abilities and contribute meaningfully to society. Her life demonstrated that a woman could combine professional distinction with family responsibilities and traditional obligations without allowing one aspect of her identity to diminish the others. She occupied a place in the academic community while remaining a respected figure within the royal institution of Ogwashi-Uku.

Professor Okonjo was the beloved wife of the late Professor Chukwuka Okonjo, a distinguished scholar and former Obi of Ogwashi-Uku. Their marriage lasted 66 years, representing decades of companionship, family building and shared responsibilities. Together, they raised children who made their own contributions to society, including Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, who served as Nigeria’s Finance Minister before becoming the first woman and first African to lead the WTO. Her daughter’s international accomplishments have naturally brought additional attention to the family. However, the late professor’s own scholarly achievements and advocacy for women’s advancement deserve recognition in their own right. The achievements of children may bring honour to their parents, but they should never obscure the individual contributions of those parents.

one of the most dramatic chapters of her life occurred in december 2012, when she was 82 years old. On December 9, 2012, Professor Okonjo was kidnapped in Delta State, an incident that attracted national and international attention. Her abduction was particularly disturbing because of her advanced age and the public position occupied by her daughter, who was then serving as Nigeria’s Finance Minister under President Goodluck Jonathan. Reports at the time indicated that her abductors demanded a substantial ransom. The incident also generated widespread concern about insecurity in the Niger Delta and the vulnerability of citizens to kidnapping. For five days, the family endured uncertainty over her whereabouts and safety. The situation became a major national concern, with security agencies intensifying efforts to secure her release.

On December 14, 2012, the then Delta State Governor, Emmanuel Uduaghan, confirmed that Professor Okonjo had been released. According to reports, she was dropped off near her residence. The governor attributed her release to pressure from security operatives, although the precise circumstances surrounding the incident remained unclear. Her release brought relief to her family and the wider public. At 82, she had survived an ordeal that exposed the frightening reality of kidnapping in Nigeria. Her experience remains a reminder that insecurity does not discriminate by age, social standing or family background. Nearly 14 years later, Professor Okonjo’s death at 96 closes a remarkable chapter in the story of a woman whose life encompassed scholarship, motherhood, royal responsibilities and personal resilience.

She leaves behind children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, as well as a legacy that extends beyond her immediate family. The royal family described her as a woman of exceptional intellect, humility, compassion and grace. These qualities, alongside her academic achievements and commitment to women’s empowerment, form an important part of her enduring contribution. Her passing also offers an opportunity to reflect on the often-overlooked contributions of women whose influence may be overshadowed by the public achievements of their relatives. Behind many prominent Nigerians are parents, mentors and family members whose sacrifices, values and personal accomplishments helped shape their own journeys.

Professor Kamene Okonjo deserves to be remembered not simply because she was the mother of a globally influential woman, but because she was herself a scholar, an advocate and a woman who lived through extraordinary circumstances with dignity. At 96, she had completed a long journey marked by intellectual distinction, family devotion and service. Her story reminds younger generations that a meaningful life is measured not only by longevity or public recognition, but also by the knowledge imparted, the people encouraged and the causes advanced. As the Okonjo family and Ogwashi-Uku Kingdom mourn their matriarch, her life offers a fitting lesson: true legacies are built through years of purposeful living, and their influence continues long after their authors have departed. May her soul rest in perfect peace.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

On Ancestrial Worship: My Take

Published

4 days ago

November 2, 2026

The Tide

Quote: An African who invokes the spirits of his ancestors is branded an idolater, yet Christians invoke Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in prayer. Why is one tradition revered while the other is condemned?”

This is the concluding part of this story, published first in our October 30, 2026 edition.

… Given the fact that I was the chairman of the Sports Committee of Rivers State School of Basic Studies (SBS no Captain Elechi Amadi Polytechnic CEAP) and the Commissioner of Youths and Sports was billed to flag off the school games that day, I could not join them on the trip. It was in view of the above reality that I planned the return trip to Owerri for Wednesday. Resultantly, I asked them to keep the date since Chief Abasi was part of the process, knew the venue and had the details of the contract. They pulled off the short driveway and I waved them goodbye; I watched the beautiful and effervescent Auntie Alice, the diligent and organized Chief AM Abasi and the very dutiful driver roll out of the gates of SBS compound on the journey to Owerri.

At the end of the visit by the Honorable Commissioner and the hectic day of the flag off, I retired to my apartment. At about 7.30pm, the phone rang, I picked and it was the unmistakable voice of Chief Ranami Abah; he sounded relieved. In some excitement, he said “Ehe, Jason, you people are back”. I answered in the negative and explained why I did not travel with them. In a voice laden with worries, he narrated all the efforts he had made to reach them and wondered if I could Mr. Nwaorgu. Unfortunately, I only had Nwaorgu’s office number and didn’t know if he had a phone at home. I quickly drove to Chief’s house where his friends had gathered. HE Melford Okilo, HRH Ere, Dr. LongJohn etc. were there and thoughts went in every direction.

Back to my apartment, at about 1am, a dog barked in the direction of the school gate. In the stillness of the night, the bark echoed and reverberated across the campus. Shortly thereafter, another dog barked and then another and, in what came across as a relay, the barks came towards the direction of my area of the compound. As soon as the next-door neighbor’s dog stopped barking, there was an eerie sign of non-human presence in my bedroom. Christy, my spouse, sat up quickly in bed and nervously said “I can perceive Auntie Alice’s perform”. At that, I sat up immediately and having had OBE at Georgetown University Medical Center, Washington DC in May 1975, I knew that consciousness survives the death of the human body. With the eerie presence coupled with Christy’s observation, I spoke thus: “Auntie Alice, you can see and hear us but we can neither see nor hear you.

Under normal circumstances, you should not see us the way we are now. You have left your body in what we refer to as death but you know that your spirit is still alive. By coming close to us, you could hurt us without meaning to. So, go on in your new setting. I promise to ensure that Chief gives you a befitting burial”. At that point, the air of strange presence cleared, the dog next door barked and the relay of barks commenced in reverse order until the dog at the gate barked. In total shock, Christy looked at me with wide eyes and, in Ogbia dialect, she nervously muttered a sentence that included a word that means “wizard”. By the way, Auntie Alice had visited me once and, in a very pensive mood, told me that she knows that she will die before Chief.

That all she asks is that Chief should give her a befitting burial. Christy and I sat frozen; it was obvious to us that Auntie Alice had died. What about Chief Abasi and the driver? Our thoughts went wild in every direction until we fell asleep. The next morning, Christy and I went to Chief’s house where his friends and relatives had gathered; the atmosphere was dreary and everybody wore a long face and talked In whispers. Christy and I knew something they didn’t but we kept it to ourselves. At about 8.30am, I put a call across to Mr. Nwaorgu and the chilling truth came out: Chief Abasi and Auntie Alice did not keep the appointment; not on Wednesday neither on Thursday. A search party, which Chief insisted on leading, set off on the route of the journey.

For some reason that I do not recollect now, I was not part of the party. As the search party found out, at Umuapu, the blue Peugeot 504 rammed into a stationery truck. Auntie Alice and Chief Abasi died on the spot; the driver, who survived the collision, died on the way to the hospital at Owerri. Today, I recollect vividly that throughout that experience, I did not pray to God or to Him through Jesus Christ not to talk of the Virgin Mary of Catholicism. This is not to say that I do not believe in God; I do without any reservation whatsoever. I even pride myself saying that I believe in God more that a majority of the Clergies and Clerics that abound in institutional religion. However, I consider the issue of Jesus being “the only begotten Son of God” through whom I must pray, as preposterous and anti-Christ.

I believe that everyone in humanity is directly connected to the Divine. Therefore, we do not need any intermediary, not the priest, Jesus, Imam or whoever to connect with the Source if only we keep clean this Temple of God, which our soul occupies for now. In the universality of the ministry of Jesus, he did not claim divinity and an object to be worshiped, NO!!! Rather, he gave humanity an effectual template through which to strive and achieve what he achieved and even more. Hear him “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do” (John 14:12) Osai and his son Lazarus heard my cry and, I believe, played a role in the mystery of the narrative; Auntie Alice listened to me and heeded my advice.

Our ancestors have not gone far from us. They exist in another dimension from which they see and influence our daily lives in this dimension in the multiplicity of dimensions in God’s creation. Metaphorically and allegorically, Jesus referred to this as “many mansions in my father’s house (John 14:2). My advise to the reader is thus: in your daily prayer to God, feel free to invoke the spirit of your ancestors; they are here with us and they know and understand our problems and feel for us much more than Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. With a clean heart, mind and hand; with absolute belief in God and with a spirit of gratitude and contentment you command your circumstance. “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear”.

By: Jason Osai

Opinion

FG’s Transport Support And Rivers Workers

Published

7 days ago

October 30, 2026

The Tide

The Federal Government’s approval of a N70,000 monthly transport intervention for public service workers for six months, beginning in November 2026, offers hope to employees struggling with the rising cost of living. The agreement with the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC), reached at a conciliation meeting in Abuja on October 27, is intended to cushion transport costs and ease pressure on workers’ incomes. But for public servants in Rivers State, it raises a familiar question: will the State Government key into the intervention and ensure that its workers benefit? The agreement provides for N70,000 monthly across all levels, for six months. The Federal Government also approved peculiar allowance arrears effective from May 1, 2026, to be paid in three equal instalments beginning in November.
The parties agreed to reconvene after one month to assess implementation. Ultimately, the value of these resolutions will be measured not by announcements but by whether eligible workers receive the money. Transport costs consume a substantial share of many civil servants’ earnings before they can meet household needs. Support for commuting is therefore not a luxury or political favour; it is temporary assistance to help workers remain at their jobs without sinking further into hardship. For lower-paid employees, transport costs can turn modest salaries into a daily exercise in difficult choices and sacrifice.
The agreement also urges State and Local Governments to participate and unions to press for implementation. The federal agreement does not automatically guarantee that every State and Local Government employee will receive the support. State authorities must clarify how it will apply to their workforce, make the necessary arrangements and publish a payment timetable. Rivers State must approach the arrangement with urgency and transparency. The Government should State whether it will implement the intervention and when payments will begin. Any administrative or financial question should be addressed promptly with organised labour, not allowed to become excuses for delay.
The concern is sharpened by the earlier N35,000 monthly wage award introduced by the Federal Government in 2023 after petrol subsidy removal. It was intended as temporary relief pending a new national minimum wage. While several States negotiated and paid wage awards or related sums, implementation nationwide was uneven. Reports in 2024 indicated that many States had failed to pay the federal award, while others provided different amounts. In Rivers, labour and media reports raised concerns about implementation of the N35,000 award for State workers, amid separate announcements and arrangements concerning Local Government employees.
The wage award was meant to ease the immediate effects of subsidy removal, yet workers faced uncertainty over whether the promised relief would reach them. In February 2024, the Rivers State Government announced approval of the N35,000 award for local government workers, but subsequent reports showed that implementation across worker categories remained a concern. The lesson is clear: approval and implementation are not the same. A declaration at a meeting offers little comfort to a worker whose account does not reflect the promised payment. For workers who travel to their offices daily, the implications of delayed support are significant. Transportation expenses compete with food, rent, school fees, healthcare and other essential household needs.
As fares rise, employees may be forced to reduce spending on necessities or borrow to sustain their families. A timely transport intervention would therefore provide practical relief and demonstrate that government understands the economic pressures confronting its workforce. Its temporary nature makes prompt implementation even more important. It is fair to acknowledge that this transport intervention is a new agreement and that its administrative details may require clarification. Rivers State should not be condemned in advance for a failure that has not occurred. Nevertheless, the earlier experience gives workers legitimate grounds to seek assurances before the November commencement date. The State should avoid allowing uncertainty to persist until workers begin asking why the promised assistance has not arrived.
The NLC and unions in Rivers State should engage the State Government immediately and seek a written commitment, an implementation plan and a process for reporting missed payments. If clarification from the Federal Government is needed, the State should seek it without abandoning the goal of providing relief. Labour leaders must also keep members informed about progress and insist that any agreed arrangements are applied fairly and transparently. The Rivers State Government should treat this intervention as an opportunity to rebuild confidence. Timely support would show that workers’ welfare is more than a talking point and that the State recognises the economic realities confronting its employees.
Silence, delay or selective implementation, by contrast, would revive frustration over earlier relief measures and weaken trust between government and labour. Every month lost to administrative delay leaves workers facing the same transport burden without the intended assistance. The State should consult labour, publish arrangements and pay eligible workers on time. Rivers workers should not have to wonder whether federal relief will reach them. The Federal Government has announced the support; now the State must make its position clear. We hope the N70,000 monthly transport intervention will not follow the troubling path of the earlier wage award. Rivers State should learn from that experience and ensure that this time, relief is not merely promised but delivered.

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi