Opinion

Better Life For Widows

Published

13 years ago

June 14, 2013

For the past one month, I have saddled myself with a responsibility I never craved for I have had to educate my brothers and men around me on the need for them to write their will, stating clearly who their next of kin is.

Of course, I’m not a lawyer, with an indepth knowledge of the procedures for the drafting of the legal document. I had never also been bordered about how a man wishes to dispose his property and holdings after death, not with the belief and impression that someone, particularly a woman who suggests the making of will to her husband wishes him dead.

But all that have changed since last month when a close friend lost her husband and her life has been literally turned apart by her late husband’s relations. As soon as they learnt about the man’s death, they rushed to his house, laying claims on every available property. But for the woman’s family, she and her three daughters would have been homeless today as they were disposed of all the man’s belongings because she has no male child who is the only one culturally authorised to inherit the man’s property.

She was however, told that she could inherit those property only on the condition that she gets re-married to a member of her late husband’s family.

It’s been a fierce battle between my friend and her husband’s family since then as she refused to get married to any of her late husband’s relation and swore not to fold her hands and watch people take away all that she laboured with her husband to acquire.

My friend is not the only widow caught up in this dilemma. The plight of widows in different parts of the country is very pathetic. Some of them are condemned to lifes of rejection, trauma, deprivation and poverty. In many communities, a wife is usually accused of being responsible for her husband’s death. She is subjected to all kinds of dehumanizing treatment including sleeping in the same room with her husband’s corpse for some days, drinking the water used in bathing her husband’s corpse and many more.

Their challenges are innumerable. Apart from mourning their dead husbands and agonising over where the next meal will come from, they are subjected to pathetic living conditions, vulnerable and unprotected life. They are left out of government’s policies and legislations, forgotten in the scheme of things.

That is why one finds the effort being made by the Vicar General, Catholic Diocese of Port Harcourt, Msgr Cyprain Onwuli to ameliorate the sufferings of widows in the diocese very commendable. He was moved by shocking, gory tales of some widows he heard in 2004 to start a widows association in his former Parish, St John’s Catholic Church, Rumukwurushi. Today, the association which started with only about 50 widows, has over 500 members and has spread to more than twelve parishes in the diocese.

The Priest has, with the help of his friends, rendered medical, legal, financial and spiritual assistance to this category of vulnerable women. He has given scholarship to many of their children.

At the diocesan inauguration of the body recently, the Priest who was highly elated by the progress made by the widow in the area of skills acquisition, said his dream was to establish the widows association in all the Parishes especially those in rural areas where there are larger number of widows so that more lives would be transformed.

He called on government and other well meaning individuals to join hands in making life more meaningful for widows in our society. He noted that, “those in authority have not done much for the poor, especially the widows. They give to those who have in the name of charity and those ones they help do not help each other”.

He appealled to the authorities to improve the welfare of widows to help them cushion the effect of the demise of their husbands.

Similarly, the president of the association, Lady Priscilia Ekeke appealed to government at different levels to assist in empowering the widows, especially the indigent ones. She called for the abolition of some obnoxious laws against widows in many states of the federation.

Indeed, life could be made more meaningful for widows if the society actually sees the need to help them. Many widows die in frustration having been left in the lurch in their hours of need. There is need for government to improve their welfare by creating more opportunities for them.

Widows also should help themselves. They should not see their state as a state of incapacitation whereby they cannot do anything to help themselves but depend on others for their livelihood.

As the Chaplain of the widows association, Fr Eric Bien advised, widows should emulate the biblical Judith, who used her beauty, intelligence, power and courage to win victory for the Israelites. God has used widows to do great things and deliver nations in the past and the present day widows can also be used if they are willing and ready to work.

But most importantly, men should see the urgent need for them to write their will so that their wives and children will not be subjected to unnecessary torture and hardship when they are gone.

Calista Ezeaku

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

2 weeks ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

2 weeks ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”

Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.

Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.

Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.

Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.

Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.

The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.

By; Confidence Adoo

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’ Prescription

Published

3 weeks ago

June 8, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”

The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.

Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,

when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.

Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?

Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.

Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi