As I was thinking of the best way to convey the message in this piece, I stumbled upon a quote credited to St John’s United Methodist Church. It goes thus: “Live your life well so we don’t have to lie at your funeral”.
Death is inevitable. As it is often said, death is a price everybody must pay. We often wish that day wouldn’t come but sure it must. And when we finally close our eyes in death, we want all the beautiful things to be said about us – “he was a good man, he lived a good life, she was a loving, caring mother and all that”. I have attended many funerals and never had l heard the preacher or whoever was performing the funeral ceremony say anything negative about the deceased even when it was clear how horrible their life was.
We usually claim that our fathers in their wisdom said, “We should not speak ill of the dead. We should respect people who have died by not saying anything bad about them”. And so we publicly don the deceased in borrowed flowery garments even when in private, in our small groups, among friends, colleagues and family members we strip them and tell of all their sins. Anyone who fails to deviate from this pattern as the former President Olusegun Obasanjo did recently, is termed “bad, being unfair to the dead” and so on.
The elder statesman, in his condolence letter to the Governor of Ogun State, Dapo Abiodun, on the death of Senator Buruji Kashamu, had made an obvious statement about the life, history and death of the departed and wished that it would serve as a lesson for the living.
In his words, “Senator Esho Jinadu (Buruji Kashamu) in his lifetime used the manoeuvre of law and politics to escape from facing justice on the alleged criminal offence in Nigeria and outside Nigeria. But no legal, political, cultural, social or even medical manoeuvre could stop the cold hands of death when the Creator of all of us decides that the time is up.”
This remark caused a lot of ripples in the society with some describing it as a demonstration of disrespect for the dead. Some say his statement was “unstatesmanlike”.
If one may ask, which one would have been more “unstatesmanlike” – to join the crowd in singing praises of the deceased even when he was convinced he did not merit it? Or to call a spade a spade so that other people would learn from it and desist from wrongdoings in their own interest and that of the country? I think the second option is more honourable, dignifying and expected of not only a man of Obasanjo’s status but the entire populace. According to a writer, “a failure to correct the record of injustice out of loyalty to the dead perpetuates the injustice”.
We all know that Obasanjo is not a saint, that his hands might be tainted too and luckily he has granted everyone the liberty to say what they like about him when he goes to the great beyond. But there is practically nothing wrong with his comments on the life of the departed so that even as he is being mourned, people should draw lessons from it.
Was Kashamu a philanthropist, a good party man, a loyal friend and colleague as many people have pointed out? Maybe yes. We all know someone differently, no doubt. These good qualities of his, we should learn from. But it shouldn’t be a taboo to mention his nasty side which should also teach us some lessons.
As some analysts say, “it is high time people got shamed even in death, as that may help the living to reflect on how their epitaph will be written by society, rather than the deceitful post mortem adulation we write for people of bad characters.”
Our country is in its present regretful state because of the deliberate act of a few privileged individuals to embezzle what belongs to the generality of the people. Millions of our young ones are without a job because the funds meant for the establishment of industries and job creation found their way into some people’s pockets; our roads have turned to death traps, insecurity is on the rise, yet billions of naira are annually budgeted for those projects which are syphoned by our fellow citizens and some persons think we should continue to eulogise them when they are gone?
It is high time people were made to realise that the choices they make, the chances they take, follow them. There are consequences if as a civil servant, a public servant, a lecturer, a doctor, a nurse, a religious leader, a community leader, a trader, a journalist, a lawyer or whatever occupation you find yourself in you fail to see that as an opportunity to positively impact on the lives of others and better the society.
If what you do is to cheat, steal, pervert justice, oppress the poor, and enrich yourself at the expense of others, do you expect people to genuinely praise you at your demise? You might only be fortunate to receive the type of mourning we see in some communities in the south-east and some other parts of the country, where it is traditionally mandatory that members of the community, particularly women, must shed tears for the dead. They would use a hot ointment to induce tears, yell for a few minutes, wipe their faces and off they go. All righteousness fulfilled.
But seriously, we need value reorientation in this nation. The values around which we build our lives, our households, our communities and our country must change from materialism to inner character building. As Billy Graham states, “The inner character of a person …is the true measure of lasting greatness”.
Remember, all the wealth — houses, fleets of vehicles, several fat bank accounts no longer belong to us the moment we close our eyes in death. What lasts is the good name we create and this we must strive for so that when we are no more, there will be no feud over who says ill of us or not.

By: Calista Ezeaku