Women
Parents And Children’s Character Moulding
Good manners are in a
state of flux as they were never before. One can no longer turn to the rules that worked 50 or even 20 years ago. Casual life styles seem to be the order of the day because good manners are regarded by most people as formal and rigid in outlook. Thus, in the bid to survive the harsh economy of our time, most people trade pleasing personalities for bread and butter. This is very unfortunate because one’s actions and behaviour will be observed by others and a wrong first impression is more lasting than any number of good deeds that may follow.
The kind of manners and etiquette you have, reveal a lot about you, especially your home upbringing, your class, your personalities etc. It is unfortunate that it is those who are devoid of class that continuously remind themselves and others of possessing an abundance of it. Have you ever heard some persons who talk of their most recent trip abroad, their imported household goods, their fleets of cars, their intellect and fame, their good accent and diction to mention but a few. All these do not constitute pleasing personality themselves but good manners, etiquette, modesty, honesty, politeness, sincerity etc.
Sound manners and good etiquette are based on three most enduring of all human traits-kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration for others. The primary enemies of good manners and etiquettes are anger, impatience, greed etc. Because of human nature, sometimes even very civilised or well-behaved people can be found wanting in good manners. If you want to save your reputation, keep your temper or desires in check and respect the rights of others. The benefits of good manners and etiquette cannot be over emphasised. Good manners are essential in building good relationships with other people. A person with a fine sense of etiquette exudes confidence. Such person is able to put everybody at ease regardless of their social rank or status.
Thus, by cultivating correct mannerisms and using them constantly, one is sure to be able to tackle various occasions with confidence.
Children are at the learning stage, they have an uncanny sense of perception and memory. Children not only learn what you teach them but also observe your behaviours, attitude and ways of dealing with them and others. That is why teaching your children basic manners take top priority. Just as you provide them with the best of food, clothes and education, teach them the best of manners so that they can do the right thing at the right time.
Thus, to inculcate good manners and etiquette in your children, it is very important that you observe these golden rules at home regularly. For instance, studies have revealed that when parents and elderly members of the family show proper respect for servants/subordinates, children will emulate this behaviour and are equally respectful to their teachers/guardians.
But a child whose parents shout and abuse the servants/subordinates is usually very disrespectful to the teacher/guardian. Again, a young lad who has the habit of pulling out the chair for the elderly members of his family at the dining table and offering the comfortable chair he has been sitting in when his mother comes into the living room will easily do so to other women and elders in the society.
Although manners can never be completely standardised, various societies place emphasis on the proper forms of behaviour. For instance, in a typical African society, one of the ways to access a thorough bred individual is the way he or she holds himself or herself.
It has become a common sight now to see some young persons stand slumped over like a loose-joined puppet with their hands tucked in their pockets and shuffling their feet lazily as they walk. Good posture habits include the way you sit, stand or walk. How you stand, walk and sit strongly influences people’s judgement of you because posture is very closely associated with one’s nature. If you sit erect, use your hands properly and know how to manage your legs while sitting in a group, you portray an image of a confident and composed person but if you plonk down on a chair or scrabble for a seat or sit with legs wide apart revealing the most private of all areas and with unrelaxed hands, you portray an image of lack of an aura of sincerity and poise.
Thus, by teaching your children good posture habits, you have not only saved their physique but a lot of future embarrassments as well.
Another way of judging one’s breeding is greeting. It is polite custom to greet people at least the first time you see them each day. Greeting enhances your image, break the veneer of formality and spells goodwill. There are several forms of verbal greeting, namely, a friendly smile, a nod, a wink, a handshake, a hug, verbal greetings etc. Verbal greeting is the universal verbal forms of greeting which is acceptable in most situations. In this part of the world, it is good morning or good afternoon. In this age of casual lifestyle, instead of good morning or good afternoon, most young people say “how far” or even try to shake their elders. Children should be properly guided by parents on the various pattern of greeting. Leave-taking, dismissing or escorting someone is also part and parcel of greetings.
Another way of judging one’s class is conversations. Speaking is idiosyncratic. It is a reflection of learned pattern of talking and personality. For a child, the first rule for a good conversation should be politeness and respect for others. Slang should be out of “polite” conversation and when talking with your elders, family friends and superiors.
A child should also be taught not to interrupt while two persons are talking. People with communication problem frequently and rudely interrupt others. Polite words such as please, thank you, excuse me, bye, hello etc should be essential part of their speech.
Another area of judging one’s breeding is table manners.
Lack of table manners can make one ridiculous. Good table manners are second nature to someone who has been taught correct manners right from cradle. It is embarrassing that in some homes, toddlers feed from the floor while their plates are empty.
Teach the child gently yet firmly all that he should gradually know starting with the basic things first. A practical method of teaching is always better. Seat your child beside yourself when you eat and show him or her what to do.
As a general rule, when used with spoon or knife, fork is held in the left hand with the prongs facing upwards but when used alone, fork is held on the right hand with the prongs facing upwards. All gravy dishes such as rice, beans etc may be eaten with a spoon not a fork. Chicken can either be eaten with fingers or knife and fork while fish is eaten with a fork and knife and salad with fork. African eating habits rely upon our God-given five fingers and do not demand the strict use of knife or fork or even spoon.
The worst table manners are those that suggest greediness or show an entire lack of consideration for others such as chewing with the mouth open, eating fast, shoveling food into the mouth in large forkfuls, swallowing with gulps, noisily sucking through the teeth, licking the fingers, talking through a mouthful of foods, blowing hot food to cool it, crumbling bread into tea, tearing the last clinging bits of meat from a chicken or any other bone with the teeth like dog, asking for another helping like Oliver Twist, spitting out hot food etc.
Other signs of ill breeding includes, cleaning your nose or your ears or your fingers in public, yawning without bringing your hand to your mouth, sleeping with mouth open, appearing in public with disorderly hair or clothings, standing with hands on the hips, cracking vulgar jokes in the presence of a lady banging doors, clattering down the stairs, using another’s property without permission, nagging, not remembering birthdays of family members etc.
Lack of good manners and etiquette is simply an indication of one’s level of sophistication and on the whole put one in poor perspective. Charming personality begins from the home. Some part of behaviour pattern in time becomes a part of our personality. Thus, ill breeding in the family if not corrected can degenerate into some social menaces such as robbery, violence, corruption etc because as a being is so the being acts.
Marie C. Obasi
School children at a public event in Port Harcourt. Photo: Obinna Prince Dele
Since the return of democracy in Nigeria, in 1999, women have really been carried along in politics. Although their involvement may not have been enough, but it has gone a long way to showcase their intellectual ability towards the socio-political development of the various states and Nigeria at large.
Women were carried along during the former President Obasanjo’s tenure when his late wife, Stella Obasanjo championed the course of Nigerian women.
Within a very short time in office, the wife of late President Musa Yara’dua also contributed to the welfare of women.
Contribution made by Mrs Patience Jonathan, Phd, who became the First Lady of Nigeria went a long way to empower women who have done well. She advocated for 35 Affirmative Action for women during her husband, former President of Nigeria, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan’s tenure, since then, women have got more appointive and elective positions especially in Rivers State.
As a Rivers daughter, her contribution towards the emancipation of women in Rivers State was enormous as well as Nigeria in general.
Indeed, as governance continued, various state government including Rivers heeded the call of involving more women in governance.When you talk about how well Rivers State has done since its creation 58 years ago in relation to women, I can say that it has produced capable persons who have served and are still rendering quality services wherever they found themselves.Since its creation on May 27th, 1967, the role of women in the development of the state can never be over-emphasized.
The story of politics, governance and democracy in Rivers State cannot be complete without recalling the impact of women.
Rivers State has produced Justice Mary Odili, a retired Supreme Court Justice. She is an eminent jurist.
During the administration of Governor Peter Odili in Rivers state, Justice Mary Odili’s gesture in terms of community development programmes and relief efforts were second to none. As the First Lady then, she initiated programmes that have direct bearing on youths and women. One of them was The Adolescent Project (TAP), where education, health improvement, social rehabilitation and empowerment services to vulnerable adolescent girls were advanced.Over 500,000 citizens were directly impacted and which went on to win the Global Health Council Award for Safe Motherhood in Washington DC in May 2001.
She was the Pro-Chancellor and chairman of council of Rivers State university.
Rivers State government became women-friendly to the extent that it got a woman as a Deputy Governor.
The return of democracy in Nigeria in general and Rivers State in particular, brought good news to women. A lot of women formed and made up the cabinets in many states. Women were elected and appointed into various levels of governance.
Dr Ipalibo Harry-Banigo, a distinguished Senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, was a civil servant in the Rivers State Civil Service. She was the Secretary to Rivers State Government (SSG)/ Head of Service during the military era. When the two positions were separated, during Dr Peter Odili’s government, she served as the Secretary to the State Government (SSG).
For us in Rivers State, it was a new dawn when the first female Deputy Governor was elected in 2015, since the creation of the state. After the general election In 2015, the medical doctor by profession was elected the first female deputy governor of the state. This was one of the signs of the dividends of 35% Affirmative Action championed by Nigerian women. It was a testament that women have really been liberated. It was also a sign that women’s education does not and can never end in kitchen.
Dr. Banigo successfully served as deputy governor of Rivers State from May 29, 2015 till May 29, 2023 under the administration of Governor Nyesom Wike.
In 2023 general election, she was elected into the Senate to represent Rivers West Senatorial District. This is laudable as a female from Rivers State is in the Red Chambers to speak for the interest of her people.Dr. Harry-Banigo is the chairman, Senate Committee on Health.
History was made as another female deputy governor was elected into office in Rivers State, because of course, the first performed well. Professor Ngozi Nma Odu, is the second female deputy governor Rivers State has produced. What some states have been yearning for without success. A seasoned administrator, she has been a pillar to the current administration. Her support to the current administration of the state governor, Sir Siminalayi Fubara, is what citizens of Rivers State deserve.
Rivers women are proud to have such personality as it is one of the best things that has happened in the history of Rivers State, women are optimistic that her wealth of experience will be brought to bear. Prof. Ngozi Nma Odu, a university don, assumed duty as Deputy Governor of the State, from May 29, 2023. Expectations are high as she will bring her wealth of experience into governance.
Prof. Odu is not new in the political development of Rivers State. She had served as Commissioner for Education during which her contributions to the development of education were second to none. In an agency that protects the rights and interests of women nationwide, she was the President of National Council of Women Societies (NCWS.
As Nigeria and indeed, Rivers State mark another year of democratic dispensation, the contribution of women in the development of the state can never be over-emphasised.Rivers women have made tremendous efforts in contributing in various fields of endeavour and their contributions have led to the rapid growth through politics, sports, education, judiciary, social, economic, medicare and engineering, just to mention but a few.
Indeed, since the creation of the state, it has not been a male dominated issue, women too have been given the opportunity to play key roles in their own little way.
Today, one cannot talk about women who made impact in the history of the state without mentioning Hon Justice Mary Odili, who served in Rivera State as a Judge. She also served in the Appeal Court. She rose to the peak of her profession in the Judiciary as the Justice of the Supreme Court (JSC).
Daisy Okocha served as Chief Judge of the state. Since the creation of Rivers State, she was the seventh judge and a woman to serve in that capacity.
Elsie Nwanwuri Thompson was a Judge of the High Court of Rivers State and Deputy Vice President of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA). She was the first Nigerian to be elected to the African Court on Human and People’s Rights.
A landmark in the educational sector of Rivers State cannot be complete without looking at the contribution of the pioneer Vice Chancellor of Ignatius Ajuru University of Education, Prof. Rosemund Dieye Green-Osaghogulu (blessed memory).It was under her supervision that the official approval of the institution, Rivers State College of Education (COE), was renamed Ignatius Ajuru University of Education (IAUOE), in the administration of former Governor Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi.
In the administration of Old Rivers State, the first female commissioner, Constance Sarowinyo was appointed to oversee the affairs of higher education and later appointed as commissioner for economic development and planning. During her time at the helm of affairs of Information ministry in the state, the three arms of government media organisations, Rivers State Television (RSTV), Radio Rivers and Rivers State Newspaper Corporation (RSNC) got the best.
As Rivers State continued to grow after its creation, more women were given the opportunity to serve in various capacities.
Medline Ngo Tador was appointed Commissioner for Information and Culture under Military Admistrator, Captain Sam Ewang. She also served as Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development between 1997and 1999.Mrs Julie Wika was appointed Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development.
Under Dr. Peter Odili’s administration as governor of Rivers State, Mrs Tolu Ofili was appointed Commissioner for Women Affairs in 2003 after serving as Senior Special Assistant, special duties, in charge of social services in 2000.
Another woman who was in that cabinet was Ms Gloria Fiofori. She served as Commissioner for Women and Youth Affairs. Her resume became richer as she served as the Director, National Orientation Agency, NOA. For the first time in the history of Rivers State, a female was appointed Commissioner for Works, which is termed to be a male-dominated ministry. She is in the person of Okpete Ovai. She obtained an MSC in Mechanical Engineering.
An erudite scholar and academic, Prof. Mildred Amakiri was appointed Commissioner for Higher Education during Dr. Peter Odili’s administration. One of Rivers daughters who served for a long time in the development of Rivers State was Prof Roseline Konya. She served as chairman, Civil Service Commission. One of the impacts she made was re-instating of 200 civil servants whose appointments were erroneously terminated at that time. A university don, she also served as Commissioner for Environment in which her contribution helped in sanitising the state of environmental hazards as a result of activities of illegal refining of crude oil in Rivers State.
Still under Dr Odili’s administration, a woman was appointed Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice. She was Dame Aleruchi Cookey-Gam. She also served as Secretary to the State Government. She was appointed the Sole Administrator, Greater Port Harcourt Development Authority. Dame Alice Lawrence Nemi, a lawyer, became Commissioner for Education.
Mrs Joeba West was for Women Affairs and Patricia Simeon Hart for Water Resources, Mrs Emmanuela Izunwa were all female commissioners in Rivers State and their impacts were greatly felt by women.
One- time Commissioner for Information and Communication, Mrs Ibim Semenitari was appointed Acting Managing Director, Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC).
In the political history of Rivers State, such name as Betty Apiafi cannot be left out as she was the first female member elected from Rivers State into the Federal House of Representatives. She represented Abua-Odual/Ahoada East Federal Constituency at the Green Chambers. Also an elected woman who represented Port Harcourt Federal Constituency in the Green Chambers was Hon. Blessing Nsiegbe and was re-elected.
Talking about Rivers State House of Assembly, the likes of Mrs Anthonia Membere, blessed memory, Mrs Linda Stewart, Hon. Felicia Tane, Irene Inimgba as well as Victoria Nyeche, have made valuable contributions to their constituencies and remarkable growth of Rivers State in their various endeavours.
Before now, women were appointed caretaker committee chairmen of local government areas of Rivers State.
As from the Governor Nyesom Wike’s administration, the vice chairmen of the 23 local government areas of Rivers State were women. That shows how important the roles of women in socio-political development of any state and indeed the nation are.
Currently, another woman, Mrs Blessing Chigeru Amadi is representing Port Harcourt Federal Constituency II in the 10th National Assembly, House of Representatives.
Under Governor Siminalayi Fubara’s administration, in the 10th Rivers Assembly, we have such women as, Hon. Linda Somiari-Stewart, Queen Williams, Justina Emeji, Barile Nwakoh, Nkemuika Nkemjika-Ezekwe and Emilia Lucky Amadi.
Dr Roseline Uranta is the commissioner for Women Affairs.
Dr Adaeze Oreh is the Commissioner for Health. A lot of reforms are ongoing in the health sector in Rivers State. A round peg in a round hole. The determinants of health issues are women and she will use her experience as a female medical doctor to proffer solutions to problems associated with maternal and infant mortality.
Of course, no society, state or nation can develop without women.There is no doubt that women who have contributed and are still contributing to the growth of the state are all educated.
Women are important in decision-making especially in things that concern them as well as the children. Nothing should be a barrier to their full participation in politics in Rivers State. There should be policies and programmes in place to encourage the advancement of women in the political arena.
As we celebrate 2025 Democracy Day, it is important to look at where women are coming from and how far they have gone. Like Oliver Twist, women are asking for more political and elective positions in governance.
They are as beautiful as flowers. They add glamour to political programmes as they dress in different beautiful attires singing and dancing to entertain political gatherings both in the urban and at the grassroot level.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
In time past, the role that was ascribed to women in Africa, especially in Nigeria, was full-time house wives, which involves staying at home to give their husbands spiritual and physical foods as well as home managers.
Women’s representation in the political space remains low in Nigeria which has led to women’s voices in political offices unheard despite the adoption and promises made to ensure inclusivity of gender sensitive electoral policies in Nigeria.
Today, the scenario gradually is changing as it now involves the full time house wives, home managers, and career women and one of the reasons that women are now breaking the ceiling tops and occupying sensitive positions in politics, businesses and even in the journalism profession. Women journalists are winning awards for uniquely distinguishing themselves from just reporting to investigative journalism.
Yet, the number of these women doing well in politics and journalism profession is very insignificant compared to their male folks in Nigeria, hence, the reason why International Press Centre (IPC), through the funding by the the European Union (EU) collaborates with the Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) to beam their searchlight on encouraging more women go into politics as well as for the growth of more women journalists especially those undertaking investigative journalism that promotes gender-sensitive reporting.
A one-day consultative meeting organised by IPC in collaboration with the European Union and NAWOJ which has the theme, “Advancing Female Journalists’ Impactful Reporting on Women Issues In Election and Democracy”, held on May 23, 2025, in Port Harcourt, focused more on the growth of women journalists, who are promoting gender-sensitive reporting, especially amplifying women’s voices during electioneering periods.
The IPC Executive Director, Lanre Arogundade, who spoke on: “Enhancing Professionalism Of Media Practitioners, especially Women’s”, stressed on the EU’s commitment to strengthen democracy in Nigeria and to increase women’s participation in politics using various strategies. The intervention strategy is an engagement with media key stakeholders and gatekeepers which will be implemented in 2026.
“This will be fully implemented in 2026 and shall include series of advocacies/interfaces visits including Participation in editorial conferences with cross-section of editors/management of print media outlets on the imperatives of the role of the media in consolidating democracy by setting agenda via issues focused, professional, public interest reporting of the electoral issues and particularly facilitating media buy-in for editorials/special reports to rebuild citizens’ confidence and trust ahead of the 2027 electoral process.
“This responds to the MTE recommendations of up scaling media intervention beyond capacity- building of journalists to include tapping into the opportunities of top management level priority influence,” Arogundade added.
He also explained the need for media engagement in promoting women, youths, and marginalised groups in politics, saying, “The intervention strategy will have a baseline assessment and media facilitated engagement on the challenges and prospects of female candidates ahead of 2027 election”.
Arogundade further revealed that plans were underway to provide training supports for female journalists so as to enable them effectively cover more women-related issues such as during electioneering periods, women from nothing to frame, wives battery, among others, so as to positively project Nigerian women in business and politics globally.
On her part, a senior lecturer at the University of Port Harcourt, Dr. Titilayo Osuagwu highlighted some problems confronting women in politics and the need for women’s recognition in politics, while stressing on some norms that have dragged women backwards and encouraged female journalists to always give women the prominence needed in their reportage.
“There cannot be meaningful development without the integration of all genders in the political sphere. There is a need to raise women’s voices in the political sphere in Nigeria. There is a paucity of recognition of gender perspectives in election and post-election reportage” Osuagwu added.
She frowned at the under-representation of women in politics despite all the promises and pledged made by the President since 2014 which was revised in 2023 to increase women’s political participation to 35 per cent and to support the enactment of laws promoting female employed in public places as well the promise to reserve senior positions and advisory roles for women in his cabinet, yet nothing significantly has been done as only 18.75 per cent of women, that is to say only 9 out of the 48 ministers.
Also speaking, the NAWOJ National Chairperson, Hajiya Aisha Ibrahim, represented by Deputy National Chairperson, Dr. Lilian Okonkwo-Agabu, appreciated IPC’s initiative and pledged collaboration on women’s empowerment and social responsibility issues.
On the aspect of grooming young journalists to grow in the journalism profession, a popular broadcaster in Nigeria, If Onyegbule stated that it was high time for women to support fellow women, especially women in politics that deserve more of women journalists reportage to get the necessary prominence they deserve to win in the election.
In her words, “The International Press Centre (IPC) and Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) are committed to promoting democracy, human rights and gender equality through various initiatives and programmes.”
The meeting was attended by NAWOJ officials, media practitioners, and IPC representatives.
Susan Serekara-Nwikhana
Managing-Director and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL), Mrs Iroghama Ogbeifun, has emerged as one of the winners of maiden Nigerian Content Development and Monitoring Board’s (NCDMB) ‘Champions of Nigerian Content Awards.
She clinched the much -coveted’ Women in Leadership and Empowerment Award which took place at the Board’s content tower headquarters in Yenagoa, the Bayelsa State capital, recently.
Receiving the award, Mrs Ogbeifun reiterated her continued commitment to use her office and expertise to empower more women, saying she has the knack to empower the female gender.
She said, “I never expected this award, I never saw it coming. This award will strengthen me and my staff to continue our quest of empowering more women”.
Speaking with newsmen shortly after receiving the award, the Starzs Investment CEO promised to keep the firm’s flag flying in the maritime and other sectors of the oil and gas industry.
“Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL) was founded by my father 40years ago. When I took over as MD/CEO of the firm, I felt within me that there’s need we empower women and that’s exactly what we’ve been doing.
“Under my leadership as MD/CEO of SICL, we’ve grown our fleet of ship from three to twelve. We’ve trained female seafarers and today, we’ve a female captain and still counting”, she added.
The Tide reports that Starzs Investment Company Ltd (SICL) is maritime logistic provider for the oil and gas industry.
Other awardees in various categories include, former President Goodluck Jonathan, Dangote Refinery and Petrochemical Company Ltd, Aradel Holdings Plc, Professor Emenike of the University of Nigeria (UNN), Mr Tony Attah of Renaissance Africa Energy Company Ltd, Bank of Industry (BOI), ThisDay Newspapers, NNPCL(now Renaissance Africa Energy Company Ltd), amongst others.
Earlier in their separate remarks, the duo of the Executive Secretary, NCDMB, Engr. Felix Omatshola-Ogbe and the Chairman of the NCDMB award advisory committee, one -time Executive Secretary of the Board, Engr. Ernest Nwapa underscored the need for the award.
The NCDMB’s Scribe, Ogbe who reiterated his desire to improve on the gains of the Board, promised a continued implementation of the NOGIC-D Act within its guidelines, saying the new Presidential executive order has also strengthened the Board under his stewardship.
The 2025 NOGOF was themed: “Driving Investment and Production Growth: Shaping a Sustainable Oil and Gas Industry through Indigenous Capacity Development”.
The Executive Secretary of the Board emphasised that the biennial event provides industry players and stakeholders with a strategic platform to share forward-looking insights, showcase upcoming projects, and deepen collaboration across the oil and gas value chain.
“More importantly, this event reminds us of the power of local capacity innovation, and inclusive partnerships in shaping the future of our industry”, Ogbe said.
Ariwera Ibibo-Howells, Yenagoa
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