Social/Kiddies
Child Sexual Abuse, Molestation
Child sexual abuse, also known as child molestation, is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. This tends to happen a lot to younger kids. Forms of child sexual abuse include engaging in sexual activities with a child (whether by asking or pressuring, or by other means), indecent exposure of the genitals, female nipples, etc, and child sexual exploitation, including using a child to produce child pornography.
Child sexual abuse can occur in a variety of setting, including home, school, work, etc. That is why it is more advisable for parents not to leave their younger ones with any adult (especially the opposite sex) be it your brother, neighbour, family friend or uncle. The girls are mostly the victims of this child sexual abuse. I’m not saying some boys don’t get molested because as a matter of fact, boys get molested too. But the rate of girls being molested is more. Also, teens should learn to dress decently to avoid certain things. Because, the way you dress is the way you’re addressed.
It is advisable for parents to also keep close eyes on their kids because sometimes, the kids get scared to talk or they do not know how to tell you. I stumbled across a lady’s post once on facebook, this lady has a five- year- old son who was in primary school. Each time she was bathing with the child, the child always had erection and also tried to touch her bare body. As usual, she would scold him and he’ll apologise. It didn’t stop, it kept on happening anytime they bathed together and she couldn’t bear it again so she told her husband and her husband just laughed it off, saying he’s a growing child. Not until one day, she sat him down and asked him few questions and then he confessed that he was being molested by his teacher. Sex at a very young age! And she threatened to kill him if he tells anyone that was why he said nothing. So what am I saying? Observe your kids, be free with them so that they can open up to you.
Child sexual abuse covers a range of illegal sexual activities, including; possessing images of child sexual abuse, forcing a child to strip naked or masturbate, engaging in any kind of sexual activity in front of a child, including watching pornography. Taking, downloading, viewing or distributing sexual images of children, encouraging a child to perform sexual acts in front of a webcam, not taking measures to protect a child from witnessing sexual activity or images. Inappropriate sexual touching of a child, whether clothed or unclothed, penetrative sex, etc.
Some children often do not talk about sexual abuse because they think it is their fault or they have been convinced by their abuser that it is normal or a “special secret”. Children may also be bribed or threatened by their abuser, or told they will not be believed. There are some signs you may notice when a child is sexually abused. The signs are; Changes in behaviour – a child may start being aggressive, withdrawn, clingy, have difficulties sleeping, have regular nightmares or start wetting the bed. Avoiding the abuser – the child may dislike or seem afraid of a particular person and tries to avoid spending time alone with them. Physical problems – the child may develop health problems, including soreness in the genital and anal areas or sexually transmitted infections or they may become pregnant. Problems at school – an abused child may have difficulty concentrating and learning, and their grades may start to drop. Giving clues – Children may also drop hints and clues that the abuse is happening without revealing it outright. It is just left for you as a parent to sit and observe.
Sexual abuse can cause serious physical and emotional harm to children both in short term and the long term. In the short term, children may suffer health issues, such as sexually transmitted infections, physical injuries and unwanted pregnancies. In the long term, people who gave been sexually abused are more likely to suffer with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They’re also more likely to self-harm, become involved in criminal behaviour, misuse drugs and alcohol, and to commit suicide as young adults.
So please, as a parent, you can prevent all these from happening, like they say, prevention is better than cure. Do not leave the child with bigger opposite sex, observe your child and most of all, build a strong parental relationship with your child so that he/she will be free to tell you things. As a teenager too, it’s not your fault if you’ve been sexually abused. You can stop it from repeating itself. Learn to speak up with fear. Also, parents should take children for examination from time to time. Like I also said, the way you dress, is the way you are addressed. So teens should also dress decently to avoid lustful looks from older men.
Akwu writes from Port Harcourt.
By: Cherie Akwu
Social/Kiddies
Growing Up: A Guide To Becoming The Confident, Successful Giant You Were Born To Be
Hi kids and young minds, let us explore the road to the top ladder.
The journey begins with the vision taking the lead!
Take a slow, deep breath. Put down whatever is in your hands, clear your mind for just a moment, and concentrate fully.
Whether you are a child just starting to explore the vast horizons of school and play, a teenager standing at the crossroads of massive exams, keeping tabs of friendships, and identity crises, or someone peering over the edge into the vast, open territory of adulthood—you are on a monumental journey.
If you are like most young people, there are days when you look at yourself and something makes you wonder if you actually have what it takes to be the ‘grown up’ you want to be . You might look at the expectations piled up around you—from parents, teachers, and society and your heart skips a beat. You might be wondering, “Am I smart enough? Am I strong enough? Will I ever truly figure out who I am and where I belong?”
Here is a secret that the loudest voices in the world forget to tell you: “You already possess everything you need, to be unstoppable.”
Growing up to be that confident, successful person; not just someone who looks impressive, scores all the excellent grades but someone who is deeply, unshakeably grounded on the inside—is not a destination you magically arrive at on your eighteenth or twenty-first birthday. It is a daily choice. It is a journey of the mind which transcends to habit and the resolutions from the heart.
Let us walk through the blueprint of how you build that confidence, how you navigate the turbulence of growing up, and how you step into your full power as a child, a teenager, and eventually, a thriving adult. Let’s Go!
The Foundation – Redefining Success and Self-Worth
Our world is keen on seeing the scorecards. People place you on the ladder of your grades in school. Later on, the world tries to measure you by college admissions, job titles, bank accounts, social media likes and mentions.
If you let the world dictate your value, you will spend your entire life fighting battles for recognition… When you win, you will feel high; when you stumble, you will crash.
Your Value is inherent, not earned. You must understand this fundamental truth early: Your worth is not a score. Getting an ‘A’ on an exam is fantastic, but that is not all it takes to wear the crown. Failing a test, scoring below average, missing a goal, or not making a team is painful, but it does not make you a failure. Your value as a human being is fixed, permanent, and untouchable. When you separate your identity from your achievements, you release yourself from the bondage of terror that stops you from trying. You realise that you can fail at a task without being a failure as a person.
Redefining “Failure” As Data
Successful adults are not people who never failed; they are people who failed but refused to quit. Failure at a time does not mean, it can never be achieved. When a baby learns to walk, she does not fall down 10 times and say, “Well, walking clearly isn’t for me; I guess I’ll crawl for the rest of my life.” No, even bruises from falldo not stop her. Baby keeps trying, confident that walking is sure.
The next time you mess up—whether it is a broken friendship, a botched presentation, or a terrible grade—do not just beat yourself up. Ask yourself: “What is this teaching me? What data; information or lesson can I pull from this disaster to make my next attempt smarter?” That shift in perspective builds true resilience and a step through the road of confidence to success.
Next is. The Teenage Years – Navigating the Storm with Grace
As you move from childhood into your teenage years, the world changes shape and tempo. . The simple rules of yesterday dissolve into a complex layout of choices, changing body chemistry, intense emotions, and a deep, biological desire to find where you fit in.
This phase can feel overwhelming. It is completely normal to feel like you are walking through a fog. But remember. This is a critical stage; this fog is where your character is formed.
The Magic of “Not Yet”
Whenever you look at a peer who seems effortlessly brilliant, or an adult who has mastered their craft, and think, “I could never be that smart, or that talented, or that confident,” Watch it, it is a dangerous judgment! Wake up!
The reality is that, that today’s “Smart person” yesterday stumbled and struggled but confidently never lost hope and focus on success.
They did not get there by magic; they got there through cumulative practice.
When faced with a mountain of difficulty, banish the phrase “I can’t do this” from your vocabulary. Add one three-letter word to the end of that sentence: “yet.”
“I have not gotten the skill — yet”
“I don’t understand this physics concept—yet.”
“I haven’t figured out how to manage my public speaking anxiety—yet.”
“I am not where I want to be in life—yet.”
That simple word transforms a brick wall into an open door. It reminds your brain that its not YET over.
Choosing Integrity Over Approval
Teenagers face an intense storm called peer pressure. Everyone around you seems to be moving toward some particular trends, just to belong.
Come off it: “Fitting in is exhausting; standing out as your true self is liberating”
The people who try to force you to compromise your values, laugh at cruelty, or shrink your ambitions to make others comfortable may not be your true friends. A confident teenager and a successful adult know how to walk alone at a time, so long as it means walking in the right direction.
Be the person who has the courage to say “no.” When no is the right answering. Be the person who refuses to peddle gossips, who protects the kid felling lonely or being bullied.
Be that young mind who is quickly identified with his or her words. Your uniqueness must not be seen as a flaw to be corrected; it is your signature .Just being yourself.
Stepping Into Adulthood – Building the Architecture of Your Life
Eventually, the school years fade, and the doors of adulthood swing wide open. Suddenly, you are driving your own car, managing your own schedule, paying bills, and making important decisions.
Many young adults freeze at this stage because the safety nets are gone. Parental care diminishes. They are exposed to the real nature of the society. But this is where your training, your learnings, (school and society) comes to play. . Adulthood is not about having all the answers; it is about having the courage to look for them and how to navigate through, especially rough waters
Radical Ownership
As a child, much of your life is orchestrated by others—parents schedule your days, teacher’s guide you’re learning, and rules protect you from consequences. As an adult, “you are the CEO of your own personality.”
If something is broken in your life, waiting for someone else to fix it is a trap. If your room is messy, clean it. If your skills are outdated, update it, if trouble comes; find means. If your mindset is negative, Negativity is not an option .guard your thoughts. Taking radical ownership of your circumstances—even the ones you didn’t cause—is the ultimate superpower of successful adults. It removes from you, the victim mentality and hands the steering wheel back to you.
Cultivating Lifelong Curiosity
Fear shrinks our worlds; curiosity expands it. When you approach life with anxiety, every new challenge feels like a threat designed to expose your weaknesses. When you approach life with curiosity, every challenge becomes an interesting puzzle to solve.
Read voraciously. Ask questions—not just to get answers but to truly understand them. Travel if you can, or explore the cultures, histories, and sciences of the world through books and media. The most successful adults never stop being students. They retain the wide-eyed wonder of a child combined with the analytical discipline of a scholar.
The Give & Take Effect – Lifting Others As You Climb
One simple truth about confidence and success that most people miss is that ‘True greatness is never selfish’.
If your definition of success is standing at the top of a mountain by yourself, looking down at everyone else, you haven’t succeeded—you’ve just become isolated. Real confidence is generous. It is expansive.
Empathy As Strength: Some people mistake kindness for weakness, thinking that being nice means letting people walk all over you. Honestly, it takes immense inner strength to remain kind in a cynical world, to extend grace to someone who wronged you, and to listen deeply before speaking.
Being the Safe Space: As you grow into a confident child, teenager, and adult, makes it your mission to be a safe space for others. When you see someone struggling with the exact insecurities you fought through, reach down and pull them up. Lift your siblings, support your friends, and honor your parents and mentors who invested in your life. When you help others win, you create a community of giants and winners
In conclusion, beloved young minds, look at where you are standing right now. Take stock of your dreams, your fears, your strengths and your raw potential.
You are not a finished product, you’re growing up. You are a masterpiece in perpetual motion—a work of art that is constantly being refined, polished, and strengthened by every experience, every victory, and every tear.
The world out there is waiting for you. It needs your voice, your creativity, your resilience, and your unique brand of courage. It doesn’t need you to be flawless; it needs you to be real, to be bold, and to keep moving forward even when the path ahead is steep.
So, stand a little taller today. Look straight into your vision, straighten your shoulders and whisper to yourself: “I am growing, I am ready, I am Confident”
You have got these! Growing up, equipped with required vision, knowledge and confidence. Now go out there and show the world the stuff in you. All the best!
Nneka Amaechi-Nnadi
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