The term “domestic violence” includes a broad range of violent acts committed by one member of a family or household against another. It often refers to the mistreatment of a child or spouse, and includes not only physical harm but also threats and verbal, psychological, and sexual abuse. Domestic violence against men is violence or other physical abuse experienced by men in a domestic setting, such as in marriage or cohabitation. As with domestic violence against women, violence against men may constitute a crime, but laws vary between jurisdictions. Men who report domestic violence can face social stigma regarding their perceived lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity. Violence against men is generally less recognized by society than violence against women, which can act as a further block to men reporting their situation.
Domestic violence is always discussed in relation to women. Man is always considered as the perpetrator. However, because of the socioeconomic changes affecting the family structure in recent times, domestic violence is not limited to women only. Men also are abused verbally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and sexually. Men do not report these abusive behaviours and are silent victims of the consequences. As the laws in our society favour women as victims of violence, these hapless men do not get justice for their pitiable condition in the family and society. There is a need for gender neutral laws for domestic violence. Domestic violence should be considered as spousal violence. Social and legal reasons for underreporting In a male-dominated society, men feel that it is shameful to be beaten by a woman and they do not report the violence.
The pressure from family also prevents them from taking any legal action, and they are also afraid of getting trapped in false accusation . When men report domestic abuse and violence, people do not believe them. Also, when these men try to complain about these problems within marriage and family, no one takes them seriously. Many men are ashamed of talking about and sharing that they are beaten by their wives.The probable reasons for underreporting include belief and hope that things would get better, fear of losing social respect and position, protection, love toward their children and family, and fear of getting blamed. Complaining by men also can be perceived as feminine behaviour.Domestic Violence Against Men affects life physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. It is also a violation of basic human rights. In most cases, the issue of violence against men is largely overlooked due to the immense pressure on them to act like all is well, even when it is not. This makes more men reluctant to draw attention to their domestic abuse situation.
The sad fact remains that as at today, husband- punching, kicking, slapping, sex deprivation and killing are realities that occur in Nigeria on a regular basis. Social media has further beamed spotlight on male domestic abuse cases by providing quick access to proof through the circulation of pictures and videos of maltreatment of men by their spouses, albeit for different reasons.It would appear that recounting domestic violence from the male victim’s perspective is quite uncommon as most people are quick to assume that men are not usually known to be at the receiving end of physical aggression. In a largely patriarchal society like Nigeria, where the male folk are expected to be more dominant due to their physical strength, it can be considered shameful to hear that a man was threatened or beaten by his partner.
In comparison to women, who are usually encouraged to speak freely when they are trapped in abusive relationships or marriages, men are not known to easily voice out their grievances, not even to close friends and relations. Public ridicule and harsh criticisms are other factors withholding men from speaking out. Asides this, there is also the possibility that on reporting to appropriate authorities, tables could turn and the victim ends up being labelled as the aggressor. Male sufferers of domestic violence typically require a higher burden of proof or a more convincing story to justify their claims. In Nigeria, domestic violence against men was a rarely discussed subject, until in recent years when more men began to speak against it. Sadly, some cases have seen the brutal end of victims who died from it. While we ponder over this, we must cautiously note that domestic abuse is not about gender, size or physical strength.
There is also the need to view domestic abuse from a psychological perspective, rather than basing it on socio-cultural expectations and existing stereotypical norms. In fact, a total cultural paradigm shift is necessary to change public perception to a point where everyone should know that men and women could both be aggressors of domestic violence and it is not related to only one gender. It is also important to squash the lopsided view that it is only weak men that experience domestic abuse. Male sufferers of domestic abuse should be allowed to speak the truth without being victimised. Since it is an open secret that men too suffer from it, they should also be allowed to talk about it. Likewise, all aspects of the Nigerian criminal justice system.

By: Favour Harry

Harry writes from Port Harcourt.