Opinion

What Our Men Do To Us

Published

5 years ago

July 2, 2021

Suddenly, the once unknown Brenda Ataga, is now a household name. In the press and blogosphere, she has become a major topic for discussion. Her beautiful picture and impressive resume displayed on various news platforms make many wonder what a husband of such a young, beautiful, accomplished and responsible woman would be looking for in a side chick.
Incidentally, Michael Usifo Ataga, chief executive officer at Super Network Company, Brenda’s husband who was allegedly murdered by his side chick, Chidinma Ojukwu, a 300-level student of the University of Lagos on June 15, who would have been in a better position to answer the question cannot do so from the morgue where his lifeless body is currently resting. May his soul rest in peace.
From time immemorial, men have cheated on their wives. But now, more than ever before, faithfulness in marriage has taken the back stage and we have heard all manner of reasons being adduced for that – it is an African thing, men are promiscuous by nature, some men have high libido, unpleasant atmosphere at home and all that.
My business here is not to argue whether unfaithfulness under any condition is justifiable or not. I am rather concerned about the pain, the agony, the disgrace such an act brings to their lawful wives. I am bothered about the danger some married women are exposed to because of their husbands’ escapade. I once had a friend whose husband’s concubine stripped naked on the road for “interfering in their love affairs”.
I also know of a medical doctor who died some years ago having been allegedly poisoned by her husband’s secretary who was dating him. Barely one year after her death, the relationship between the two illegal love birds was sealed in the church. Some women have been kidnapped, threatened, beaten and harassed by their husbands’ main and side chicks. Not to talk of the number of women that have contracted HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases owing to their husbands’ quest to test all soups – ogbono, egwusi, ewedu, atama and many more.
Back to the case at hand, from the account of the gruesome killing of Ataga, which keeps unfolding every day, and from all being said about the alleged culprit, Chidinma, it is obvious the 21-year-old girl may not be as innocent as she looks and claims. A statement credited to the elder brother of the deceased, Dr Isi Ataga, he claimed that “Usifo died a horrific death. He wasn’t stabbed two or even five times; he was stabbed multiple times. His hands were bound tightly and the marks were still all over his wrists, accompanied by evidence of torture and assault even as his corpse lay in the morgue.
“And no one in the entire building heard his screams because he was gagged. Let that sink in, he was bound, gagged and tortured!
“The now-viral video of the room with the deceased lying on the floor shows a room with blood-stained walls and floor, evidence of a ferocious struggle. One person could never have carried these out,” he continued.
The Police have also released a statement saying, amongst other things, that the suspect conspired with others, now at large, and allegedly murdered Ataga.
You can imagine what would have been Brenda’s fate had this girl wanted Usifo for keeps and had seen her as a stumbling block.
The bottomline is that any man that cannot zip up, any man that cannot stick to his legally married wife or wives (because some men who have several wives are also involved in the main chick, side chick, girlfriend, concubine madness), any man who chooses to be a cheerful giver to everything on skirt, should know the caliber of woman/girl he deals with to avoid putting his wife and children in harm’s way or disgrace.
But then, something has to be done about the moral decadence in our society today. A situation where our young boys and girls indulge in all manner of unspeakable things – prostitution, drug peddling, dating of sugar mummies and daddies, gambling, Internet fraud, kidnapping, armed robbery to make money should worry any right-thinking person, especially as we are banking on them for a better Nigeria tomorrow.
Many young Nigerians likewise the older ones have no regard for dignity of labour. Everybody wants to “blow”. However that is achieved is not important. We forsake laws, look down on the upright poor and roll out drums in praise of the fraudulent rich.
As one elder statesman said, if efforts are not made towards value reorientation, particularly among the younger generation, then the future of the country is bleak. Our political, traditional and religious leaders, educational institutions, parents, youth organisations and others must make conscious efforts towards reorienting and redirecting our youths and the society in general. People need to be sensitized and educated to imbibe the value of integrity, honesty, hard work, self-dignity and other positive ethical values needed for better citizens and a better nation.
The role of parents in forming better citizens of the country cannot be overemphasised. Each time I look at the picture of Chidinma and read all the stories of crime, drug abuse and other reckless life associated with her, I can’t help but wonder how her mother and father even though they may no longer be together, could allow their pretty child get so bad at such a young age.
Experts have always emphasised that parenting is the toughest and most fulfilling job in the world; that you are not a child’s parent merely by bringing her into the world. You have to be there for the child, boosting her self-esteem, guiding and directing her, creating time for her, communicating with her and very importantly, loving her unconditionally.
No doubt, parenting has never been as challenging as it is these days with the struggle to make ends meet, the children learning all sorts of negative things from the Internet. You talk and talk and they will not listen. But is giving up or relenting an option to be considered? I don’t think so.

By: Calista Ezeaku

Opinion

Beyond Physical Intimacy In Relationship

Published

1 month ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote:”Love is not sustained by sharing the same bed or displaying affection in public; it is preserved by the daily investment of trust, understanding, empathy, and meaningful conversations. Two people can be physically close yet emotionally distant, because lasting relationships are built not merely on intimacy, but on the consistent nurturing of hearts that remain genuinely connected.”

In an age where relationships are often measured by appearances, social media posts, and outward displays of affection, many couples are discovering a painful truth: physical closeness does not always translate into emotional connection. Two people can share the same bed, hold hands in public, and even maintain a seemingly happy home, yet remain strangers to each other’s deepest thoughts, fears, dreams, and struggles. This reality is captured in the thought-provoking message that emotional intimacy goes far beyond physical intimacy. While physical attraction may ignite a relationship, emotional connection is what sustains it. When emotional bonds weaken, relationships begin to suffer quietly, often long before any visible signs of trouble emerge.

One of the greatest misconceptions about love is the belief that affection alone is enough to keep a relationship healthy. In reality, genuine love requires much more than romantic gestures and physical presence. It requires understanding, communication, trust, empathy, and the willingness to be vulnerable with one another. Without these elements, couples may coexist rather than truly connect. Many relationships today are experiencing a silent crisis. Couples are spending more time together physically but less time engaging meaningfully. Busy schedules, work pressures, financial challenges, digital distractions, and personal ambitions have reduced many conversations to routine exchanges about bills, children, responsibilities, and daily survival. The deeper conversations that nurture emotional intimacy are gradually disappearing.

As a result, many partners feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood. They may be present in the relationship physically, but emotionally they feel isolated. This emotional distance often creates frustration, resentment, and loneliness. Ironically, a person can feel more alone in a relationship lacking emotional connection than when they are physically alone. The danger of emotional disconnection is that it rarely announces itself loudly. Unlike dramatic conflicts or public scandals, it develops gradually. It starts when couples stop sharing their feelings openly. It grows when assumptions replace communication. It deepens when one partner feels consistently ignored, dismissed, or taken for granted. Over time, the relationship loses its warmth and vitality.This explains why some marriages and relationships that appear perfect from the outside eventually collapse unexpectedly.

Observers are often shocked because they only saw the physical togetherness, not the emotional distance that had been growing for years beneath the surface. Relationships do not usually break down overnight; they deteriorate through the accumulation of unresolved emotional gaps. Building emotional intimacy, therefore, requires deliberate effort. It is not a one-time achievement but a daily commitment. Emotional connection is built through consistent acts of attention, kindness, and understanding. It develops when partners genuinely listen to each other without judgment. It grows when people feel safe enough to express their fears, disappointments, and aspirations without fear of criticism or rejection. Trust plays a crucial role in this process. Emotional intimacy flourishes in an environment where honesty is valued and confidentiality is respected. When trust is broken, emotional walls quickly rise.

Rebuilding those walls requires patience, sincerity, and a willingness to heal together. Another important ingredient is empathy. Every individual wants to feel understood. Sometimes partners do not necessarily need solutions to their problems; they simply need someone who listens and acknowledges their feelings. A relationship becomes stronger when both individuals strive to understand each other’s perspectives rather than merely defend their own positions. Quality time is equally important. In a world dominated by smartphones and endless digital distractions, couples must intentionally create moments of genuine interaction. Simple activities such as sharing a meal, taking a walk, discussing personal goals, or praying together can strengthen emotional bonds significantly.

These moments communicate an important message: “You matter to me.” Respect also forms the foundation of emotional closeness. Partners who consistently speak respectfully to each other, even during disagreements, create a healthier environment for intimacy to thrive. Emotional connection cannot flourish where there is constant criticism, ridicule, or contempt. Perhaps the most important lesson is that emotional intimacy is not built by grand gestures alone. It is cultivated through small, consistent actions repeated over time. A thoughtful conversation, a sincere apology, a word of encouragement, or a genuine expression of appreciation can have a profound impact on the health of a relationship. Ultimately, the strength of any relationship lies not merely in physical proximity but in emotional accessibility. The question is not whether two people occupy the same space, but whether they truly know and understand each other.

Lasting love is sustained when hearts remain connected even amid life’s challenges. As society continues to grapple with increasing relationship difficulties, couples must remember that emotional intimacy is not optional; it is essential. Physical attraction may bring people together, but emotional connection keeps them together. It is built daily through communication, trust, empathy, respect, and intentional effort. When emotional intimacy is nurtured, relationships become more resilient, fulfilling, and meaningful. And when two hearts remain genuinely connected, love does not merely survive—it flourishes

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Opinion

Yahoo Culture And Nigeria’s Moral Fabric

Published

1 month ago

June 17, 2026

The Tide

Quote “A society that celebrates wealth without questioning its source gradually breeds a generation that despises hard work, glorifies fraud, and ultimately destroys itself from within.”

Nigeria’s battle against insecurity is not limited to terrorism. Another destructive force—popularly known as “Yahoo”—has steadily eaten into the nation’s moral and social fabric. Internet fraud, which has become synonymous with “Yahoo” in local parlance, poses a grave threat to Nigeria’s image, economy, and future. The activities of internet fraudsters have tarnished the country’s reputation globally. As a result, many law-abiding Nigerians abroad or seeking legitimate opportunities overseas often face suspicion and discrimination because of the notoriety created by these criminal elements. Originally, Yahoo was merely the name of an internet search engine created in 1994 by Stanford graduates Jerry Yang and David Filo. In Nigeria, however, the term has evolved into a culture driven by greed and materialism. It has become a disturbing subculture with its own language and values.

Expressions such as “mugu fall, guy man chop” celebrate the exploitation of unsuspecting victims, portraying fraud as intelligence and deceit as success. Yahoo boys are notorious for flaunting their ill-gotten wealth. They parade expensive cars, spend lavishly, and often display arrogance towards elders and society. Their extravagant lifestyle has even been blamed for rising rents and increased cost of living in cities such as Port Harcourt. Following crackdowns in Delta and Edo states, there have been concerns over the growing presence of these elements in Rivers State. What is particularly disturbing is that many of these young men and women, some as young as teenagers, have no legitimate source of income yet live in luxury. Their actions have ruined businesses, impoverished victims, and in some cases pushed people into depression, heart attacks, and suicide.

Yet, they continue to operate openly with frightening confidence. The prevalence of Yahoo culture reflects the deep moral decay in society. Sadly, some families not only tolerate the illicit activities of their children but celebrate and pray for their success. Anyone who condemns the practice often becomes the target of abuse and ridicule. A Port Harcourt-based pastor once experienced fierce backlash from Yahoo sympathisers after speaking against the menace. Nigeria’s permissive environment has unintentionally allowed the practice to flourish. Weak institutions, compromised law enforcement, and families unwilling to question the source of sudden wealth among unemployed youths have all contributed to the problem. The virtues of patience, diligence, and integrity are steadily being replaced by greed and a desperate desire for quick riches.

Perhaps one of the greatest casualties of Yahoo culture is education. The value of years of hard work and academic excellence has been diminished. Many young people now dismiss formal education as a scam, while apprenticeship and vocational training are increasingly looked down upon. The obsession with easy money has encouraged school dropout rates and undermined the culture of honest enterprise. An even more disturbing dimension is the emergence of what many describe as “Yahoo Phase II”—a phenomenon associated with ritual practices and occult beliefs. Although stories surrounding these practices are often difficult to verify, reports of ritual killings, organ harvesting, and other horrific crimes have heightened public fears. Young people seeking wealth at all costs are said to subject themselves to bizarre and inhumane instructions from self-styled spiritualists, resulting in unimaginable tragedies.

Regardless of the myths and realities surrounding these claims, one fact remains undeniable: the pursuit of wealth without values has devastating consequences. Society is increasingly witnessing cases of substance abuse, mental instability, and mysterious deaths among youths whose lives are built on criminality and desperation. Nigeria cannot afford to remain indifferent while a generation is consumed by greed and moral bankruptcy. Combating Yahoo culture requires more than arrests and prosecutions. Families must instill values of honesty and hard work. Religious leaders, educators, and community leaders must consistently promote integrity. Government institutions must strengthen the rule of law and ensure that crime does not pay. Above all, society must stop celebrating wealth without questioning its source. No nation can attain sustainable development when fraud is admired, hard work is ridiculed, and criminality is rewarded.

The future of Nigeria depends on raising a generation that values character above riches and integrity above material possessions. If this dangerous culture is left unchecked, the consequences will be severe. But if the nation collectively chooses the path of morality, accountability, and industry, there remains hope that the tide can be reversed and the country’s dignity restored.

By; Confidence Adoo

Opinion

Good Health Through Socrates’ Prescription

Published

1 month ago

June 8, 2026

The Tide

Quote: “In an age of advanced medicine and endless health information, the greatest prescription may still be the oldest one: know yourself. True health begins when we understand our bodies, emotions, habits and choices.”

The 21st century has ushered in extraordinary progress in science, technology and medicine. Diseases that once claimed millions of lives can now be prevented or treated. Information is available instantly, while fitness applications, health trackers and modern healthcare facilities have become part of everyday life. Yet, despite these advances, many people continue to struggle with physical illnesses, emotional stress, anxiety, depression and lifestyle-related diseases. This contradiction raises an important question: Why are people becoming increasingly unhealthy in an age of remarkable medical advancement? Part of the answer may lie in the timeless wisdom associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates: “Know thyself.” Though spoken more than two thousand years ago, these words remain profoundly relevant today. They remind us that genuine wellbeing begins with self-understanding.

Knowing oneself goes beyond knowing one’s name, occupation or social status. It involves understanding one’s body, emotions, habits, strengths, weaknesses and aspirations. It means recognizing how daily choices affect physical, mental and emotional health. In many respects, self-knowledge forms the foundation of healthy living. One of the greatest health challenges today is the tendency to ignore warning signs until serious problems emerge. Many people neglect symptoms such as persistent fatigue, poor sleep, chronic stress, unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity. Because they are disconnected from their bodies, they fail to recognize that their health is gradually deteriorating. A person who truly knows himself pays attention to these signals. Such an individual understands which foods nourish the body and which habits undermine health. They recognize when rest is necessary,

when stress levels become dangerous and when professional medical attention should be sought. Self-awareness encourages preventive action long before illness develops. The same principle applies to mental and emotional health. Modern life is filled with pressures. Social media often encourages unhealthy comparisons, while economic challenges, family responsibilities and workplace demands create enormous psychological burdens. Many people suffer silently because they have not learned to understand or manage their emotions. Knowing oneself means recognizing emotional triggers, vulnerabilities and sources of stress. It involves identifying feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger or frustration before they become overwhelming. Self-aware individuals are more likely to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms and maintain emotional balance.

Self-knowledge also promotes discipline. Many of today’s health problems are linked to lifestyle choices. Excessive consumption of processed foods, alcohol abuse, smoking, substance misuse, physical inactivity and poor sleeping habits contribute significantly to disease burdens around the world. Most people are aware of these risks. The challenge is often not a lack of information but a lack of self-understanding. Individuals who understand their motivations, weaknesses and tendencies are better equipped to resist harmful habits and develop healthier routines. In this way, self-knowledge becomes a powerful tool for self-control. Socrates also taught that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While philosophical in origin, this statement has practical implications for health. Examining one’s life encourages honest reflection. Are we eating wisely? Are we exercising enough?

Are we sleeping adequately? Are we managing stress effectively? Are we maintaining healthy relationships? These are not merely philosophical questions. They are essential components of a healthy lifestyle. Honest answers can reveal habits that require improvement and inspire positive change. Ironically, while technology has made health information more accessible, it has also made self-understanding more difficult. Many people spend hours following social media trends and public personalities while paying little attention to their own health. They know more about celebrities than they know about their blood pressure, sleep quality or emotional wellbeing. A healthier society will require more than modern hospitals and advanced medications. It will require citizens who actively seek to understand themselves. Preventive healthcare begins with personal awareness.

Parents, educators, religious leaders, healthcare professionals and policymakers all have important roles to play in promoting self-awareness. Young people should be taught not only academic subjects but also emotional intelligence, self-reflection, healthy lifestyle habits and personal responsibility. Ultimately, Socrates’ ancient wisdom remains as relevant today as it was centuries ago. A person who understands himself is more likely to make healthy decisions, maintain emotional stability, build resilience and seek help when necessary. The journey to good health does not begin in a hospital, pharmacy or gymnasium. It begins within. As the world continues to confront complex health challenges, perhaps the most powerful prescription requires no expensive technology or medication. It is the enduring wisdom that has stood the test of time: know yourself. In understanding ourselves, we discover one of the surest paths to healthier, happier and more meaningful lives.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi