Women
Female Genital Mutilation And Dangers On Women
Despite efforts made by Government and relevant stakeholders in the elimination of harmful traditional practices in our society, it has remained unabated.
Harmful traditional practices are the customs, beliefs and ways of life that are capable of causing death, fear, stigma, diseases and other psychological and physical pain or damage to the affects persons.
As days, weeks, months and years go by, one form of the practices is recorded.
Every community or ethnic group has its own practices that have been transmitted from one generation to another. While some of the practices are beneficial to some persons, some are harmful to the victims, especially women and children.
Female Genital Mutilation which has been described as harmful to the girl-child is still practiced in some localities. This is a form of female circumcision where a part of the female genital organ is cut at tender age.
In some communities, it is also performed in adolescents and women during marriage. Experts say if not properly handled, the victim can bleed to death. Where it is practised, it is believed that it is performed to reduce sexual desire and to maintain virginity until a girl is married.
For over four decades, modernisation and public enlightenment by Ministry of health and other stakeholders in the health sector have been emphasising on the dangers inherent.
Recently, International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA)Rivers State, called for the abolition of female genital mutilation in some communities in Abua/Odual Local Government Area of Rivers State, describing such thing as unlawful practice.
Some persons promised they would “Drop The Razor’ in Omoku community in Abua/Odual Local Government Area while partnering FIDA to abolish female genital mutilation practice on pregnant women in Rivers State.
Chairperson of FIDA, Rivers State chapter, Adata Bio-Briggs, who made the call while marking the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation with a sensitization campaign at Omokwa community in Abua/Odual, emphasized that female circumcision is against the law.
She described such traditional harmful practice that is only done on pregnant women when they are about to deliver as barbaric and said it could cause several maternal mortality in the area.
She urged chiefs and leaders of the community in Abua/Odual to stop female genital mutilation, as any one caught in the practice would be sentenced to four years imprisonment.
The spokesperson on behalf of the community, John Israel assured FIDA that the community was ready to partner government at every level to abolish female genital mutilation and other harmful practices that are against the law.
Another speaker during the event, Joseph Aboh, emphasized the need to abolish female genital mutilation and said that women have suffered so much from such harmful practise.
Circumcision of young males between the ages of six and 10 before getting into manhood is still practised in some tribes. They undergo pains during the process.
Childhood marriage which is a practice of giving out a girl for marriage at a very tender age of 11-15 should be condemned. As soon as the girl is forced in the union, she starts bearing children immediately. When you give a girl out to a man she never knew or loved, she may suffer psychological problems later in his hands.
The reason some people give is maintenance of virginity of the girl and attraction of high bride price. There is this preference for male children and that the girl should quickly leave the house for the males who will restore the family name.
In terms of virginity, a girl can decide to keep herself till above 20 years depending on what she desires in life. The girl may not have developed physically yet to go through the pains in child bearing, complications are always associated with it, thus leading to maternal and infant mortality.
It is unfortunate that child labour is still practised in Nigeria despite government’s efforts in introducing free and compulsory education at the basic level. It is common in a situation where a guardian lives with another person’s child, be it a boy or girl. When her children are sent to school, the woman will send the child out to hawk in the streets, demanding him/her to make some money for her upkeep.
Maltreating widows is one big challenge that has to be checked continuously in our communities. In fact, this cuts across many ethnic group in Nigeria. When a man or one’s husband dies, the wife’s movement is restricted and mandated to sit on the floor. After the burial of her late husband, another widow will shave her hair with razor blade and for a couple of months puts on either black or white attire to show a sign of mourning.
Before now, in some places, widows were forced to drink water used in bathing their late husband’s body if there were suspicion that she had a hand in the death. Although this has been tackled in some areas.
Another painful thing here is being forced out of her late husband’s house to enable them have access to his property, whether they have children or not. Sometimes she is asked to submit the key key of a car to the in-laws. They even ask for deposit in the bank account.
I have seen a situation where a widow was chased with clubs in a bid to deny her access to her late husband’s properties even as their marriage was contracted at the Court Registry
This causes problems between her and the in-laws and the trauma and the emotional problem resulting from this cannot be forgotten in a hurry.
In fact, the issue of maltreating widows is the most challenging. In some communities and cultures, a widow is meant to remarry the brother of her late husband, otherwise she quits and I think there is a religious beliefs that practises this. This is a violation of the woman’s fundamental human rights.
Preference for male child is a tradition that rooted in inheritance practice. It is assumed that the male is the one that takes care after the father had departed while the female girl is given out for marriage. In some cultures, it is described as the “seat” of woman in the matrimonial home. It is also believed that if a woman does not bear a male child she is seen as a visitor, there is the likelihood that the husband may marry another wife.
This is a big threat to the woman. No matter the sex of a child, the woman should be tolerated, after all, medical experts say it is the man that determines the sex of the child. As male children have their roles to play in a home, so also do the females.
Ministry of education in conjunction with social welfare should ensure that no child is found hawking during school hours or not. If found, should be arrested side by side the guardian and charged to court for explanation.
A widow who lost her spouse should be taken care of. A man whose brother’s wife is a widow today, it might be his wife tommorow. In this particular case, men while alive should be sure proper documentation of their marriage in the court registry to protect their wives dead or alive.
We are not unaware that the media have been on the forefront for awareness creation, a lot more need to done bid we have to eradicate the menace to a greater percentage.
Parents and guardians should send their wards to school as there is free and compulsory education. If we have the kind of education that is desired, we will avoid some of these outdated customs and beliefs that do not add value the families and society.
Non-Governmental organisations and government officials should continue to carry out aggressive sensitisation programmes in the cities. From time to time, government should carry out opinion pool through community leaders/ dwellers to find out if efforts being made are yielding positive results.
The United Nations in collaboration with World Health Organisation (WHO) have come out with a declaration on the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women. The declaration is expected to take care of these gender issues.
Government at all levels should enact laws prohibiting Female Genital Mutilation practices dehumanising especially women and children.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
Unfortunately, the widower of the late gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja.
The husband of the deceased, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu, was sentenced to death by Justice Njideka Nwosu-Iheme.
The Federal High Court Judge, reports say, found Mr Peter Nwachukwu guilty of culpable homicide leading to the death of his wife, Osinachi, which occurred on April 8, 2022.
The ruling on the death of Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu, deserves a big clap for the Nigerian Judiciary because of the high rate of domestic violence on women in the society.
This, I believe will serve as a deterrent to others now and in the future.
Lessons learned from her death are numerous, girls and women especially must be able to distinguish between oppression and submission. A woman has to be heard before she dies.
According to reports, Mr. Peter Nwachukwu has been sentenced to death by the Federal High Court in Abuja. How will the children feel? What about the Nwachukwu family?
Ordinary people like us may not be able to judge but the judiciary has finally done justice to late Osinachi’s case.
Time has come when families have to start checking out on their kinsmen concerning marital affairs. Families who give out their daughters and sisters in marriage need to do a follow-up from time to time, to ensure they are comfortable. This does not mean total control in anyway.
Everybody is born of a woman, who is someone’s sister, daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, niece, aunt and so on. Like the saying, “rain does not fall on one person’s roof”.
Women are weaker emotionally, so should be handled softly. No matter how large in size some women may appear, they are very frigile.
Late Osinachi Nwachukwu, was one of Nigeria’s gospel singers that her music was so inspirational. During crusades and religious programmes, the kind of crowds she gathered was something encouraging.
The “Ekwueme” song she featured in, is one of the most inspiring gospel music of our time. Till her death, I never knew she was a contributor to that beautiful music.
The impact of Osinachi’s “Ekwueme” song in the hearts of believers can never be over-emphasised.
Unfortunately, she has gone to be with her creator but will be remembered by all the good lyrics she contributed to produce.
About three years ago, the news of the late gospel singer became viral with so many persons expressing their views on what would have caused her death. So many stories were told but the issue of late Osinachi was that allegedly she sustained injuries from her husband as a result of domestic violence.
According to late Osinachi’s elder sister, who gave account of what happened to her sister, she died of blood clothing in the chest from her husband beating her chest. She said her late sister was exposed to inhuman treatments from her husband before her untimely death and denied her sister dying as a result of cancer. “She did not die of cancer”, she exposed.
Osinachi’s family sources explained that severally before her demise, they had told her to leave her marriage, having seen what she was passing through, but she never accepted the advice.
It was gathered that the family members had advised her to separate from the husband at least, since it was not divorce but she refused.
Osinachi as a believer and gospel singer might have felt that she could pray to overcome the challenges of marriage.
She would have also thought that if she left or separated from her matrimonial home, that would affect her ministry. She might have felt that God is against divorce.
As humans, there are certain things you can never easily agree with. But I think that when it comes to saving life, it is better to adhere to advice.
Of course, two good heads are better one. No one person knows it all. As a believer, she saw separation as a sin and not to save her life and take care of her children. She would tell them to relax while praying for her husband to have a change of attitude towards her.
Let us assume that the husband beat her on the chest, she refused to tell her family but good enough, she told a friend who lives in Ebonyi State that her husband hit her on the chest.
Unfortunately, they refused to tell the doctor that kind of thing occurred, so as to administer the right drugs immediately. She died leaving her children behind and her husband.
When domestic violence continues to occur in the home, what should the woman do as church people? The issue of “For Better, For Worse”, during holy matrimony by the pastors, our spiritual fathers should be looked into and we need to understand in better ways.
Different people have come up with various opinions about whether marriage should continue or ‘separate’ when domestic violence is on the peak.
Some support while others disagree. Should a woman remain in a marriage when danger is looming? We are not unaware that men too suffer domestic violence, but they do not have much challenge since they may claim to own the home. Sometimes they live outside their homes.
The only regret in calling for separation or divorce is about the well-being of the children. But for marriages that have not been blessed, we need more explanation.
It is becoming more worrisome because when marriages break, the children are at more risk as parents will not live together. I think the best way is to nurture and train kids together. The negative effects of separated homes are so much.
A lot of women have left their matrimonial homes to give peace a chance. Is it the best option? The “worse” during solemnisation cannot be relied upon to encourage enduring matrimonial violence or any other manner of one- sided wickedness. It only refers to shared burden.
It should not be interpreted to accommodate one party in a marriage practising wickedness to the other. Marriage was created as a mutual support and comforting institution and not for anti-social behaviour.
One of late Osinachi’s sons according to reports, revealed that his father told them(his children) that beating women was good and in one of the occasions, they witnessed how he pushed their mother out of her car. They also alleged that their father seized their late mother’s two cars.
It is good to be careful while taking certain actions in the presence of children in homes. Whether it is true or false, the children are watching and must have something to say when time comes.
One of the gospel singers of our time, Osinachi, is late with rumours of her husband contributing to the cause of her death. But the husband denied being responsible for the death of his wife.
He said all the allegations levelled against him were false and claimed that his late wife was sick from year 2021 before she died in 2022.
What can anybody do? Osinachi is not alive to narrate what happened. If only a lesson can be learnt where women especially, will be able to speak out when involved in any form of domestic violence, it will be better.
She would have lived to take care of her kids if she had spoken out on time. She might have been sick of other ailments but because of the revelation coming out of her children, relatives and friends, anyone can just conclude that she died as a result of maltreatment from domestic violence.
Domestic violence affects women the more. When it continues to occur, what should the woman do, separation or divorce?
Osinachi was a native of Isuochi in Abia State and married to Peter from Nnewi in Anambra State.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
A Christian teaching mother is one who imparts knowledge to her children and others by adhering strictly to the Christian doctrines and practices .
A real and devoted teaching mother should not ask her children and wards to keep malice.
Mothers should know that the way the teaching mother dresses speaks volumes about her while the children are watching. Teach them to dress decently either in your presence or absence.
It is important to teach the children how to respect constituted authorities, especially teachers in schools, at every educational level. Teaching them how to greet and respect elders in their neighbourhood and society at large. Obedience to parents and other elders can help children attain long life.
According to the Scriptures, “obey your parents so that your days may be long on earth”.
Furthermore, a mother should teach the children how to work hard academically instead of sending money to them to buy results and pay mercenariees in examinations.
A situation where parents go to fight teachers on disciplinary actions against their children should be discouraged.
A good teaching mother should teach what she practises as well as keeping the rules because they are watching. It is dangerous to tell lies before the children and of course, they may point such it out immediately. The mother must lead exemplary lifestyle.
The primary role of mothers is to nurture the children to adolescence because some of them cannot differentiate their left from their right.
Devotion of more time to children is very important no matter how tight the mother’s schedule may be. The mother must work hard to make ends meet since only the man cannot bear the responsibilities of keeping the home but the girl-child needs more attention. The children, especially the females need to be guided so as to avoid unwanted pregnancy, they need to be the mother’s friend.
The boys are not left out of the sight of the mothers so that they do not involve in social vices. The mother ought to monitor the boy-child so that he does not impregnate an underaged girl.
Furthermore, women are solution providers because sometimes, men may be soft with the children. Women should utilise the attributes and skills given to them by God.
Regular teaching without ceasing in the homes, church, school and in the public. The mother can spare the rod and spoil the child. Teaching does not only come from the mother, it is a combined effort with the man who is the head of the home. Even when the mother is the breadwinner, she cannot teach alone.
Regrettably, there are challenges hindering women from teaching good morals.
Moreso, busy schedules and absence of the father can hinder women from effective teaching. Mothers may not be teaching everything they are supposed to teach.
Late teaching when the children’s bad behaviour would have got out of hand is very dangerous, so, women must start early so as to catch them young.
A good teaching mother should not feel that the children should bear their father’s name and so if they turn out to be miscreants in future, their father should be held responsible.
King Solomon actually admonished his son thus, “My son, keep thy father’s commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother”.
Truly women need support when they teach. According to the Scriptures, train up a child in the way of God, so that when he or she grows up, he will not depart from it.
It should be noted that one of the tools for teaching is prayer. Daily devotional and constant fellowship with them where you teach the word of God are vital. Living by example by listening to music and differentiating between earthly music and gospel vibes will go a long way in effective teaching.
It is worrisome to note that peer pressure is one of the challenges affecting effective teaching in both schools and homes nowadays. The society is now having negative impact on the adolescents via social media, celebrities and entertainers just to mention but a few. But is better the children choose the right ways of life and eschew bad attitudes.
Good teaching mothers should not make comparison among the children because that may lead to withdrawal syndrome.
By: Eunice Choko-Kayode
Looking good is some women’s business. Looking beautiful for some persons is more important than food. Some prefer to appear trendy instead of attending to household pressure.
Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder. Every woman by creature is beautiful but some persons feel that the way they were created is not enough. They feel that perhaps the creator should have added more features to their physic.
Artificial beauty did not start today, it has been there as far as man exists. From time to time, there has been one form of additional make-up or the other that women especially, must add to their natural look.
When you look at some of our elders, especially women, you notice certain drills or symbols (tattoo) on their skins, mostly on their hands and legs, in form of designs with dark prints. That is a form of artificial beauty. These days, some young ones still use such to beautify themselves.
It is not only women that are involved in artificial beauty, some young men also have likeness for it. It is common nowadays to see younger male folks spend money to pierce their ears to wear earrings. They also style their hairs in various forms to appear like women so as to look more handsome. This no doubt costs them more money than being in their natural look.
Every generation grows with it’s own new systems, items, styles of artificial beauty. Before now, African women generally and Nigeria in particular had their hair in natural form.
As civilisation and westernisation continued, Nigerian women started copying, for instance, perming of their hair to look like the White women. They started using western-produced chemicals (relaxers) to make their hairs look sleepy and smoother.
Nigerian women used to plate their hair with black thread or go with their hair well cut at low level. In terms of weaving, it was without attachment. The issue of women weaving hair with attachment came with civilisation. That is also a form of make-up.
The quest for extra beauty aside the way women were created has been from one generation to another.
Two or three decades ago, ladies used mascaras to darken and thicken their eyelashes. But in this 21st century, another system has evolved. Fixing of artificial eyelashes has become the order of the day.
In that case, it becomes difficult for them to scratch their eyes Incase of any itches. Some of their eyes turn reddish because of the touch.
There was a lady who was fixing her eyelashes in a salon, unfortunately, she got a phone call that her mother was late, as she started crying, it was difficult for her to clean the tears that were flowing down her cheeks.
The reason was for fear of the eye lashes falling off while cleaning the tears off her eyes.
One funny thing about fixing of artificial eyelashes is that some persons cannot close their eyes properly. The beauty they have in mind before fixing is not really achieved as their look become something anybody cannot behold. Both the shape of their eyes and facial outlook automatically change. One begins to wonder if that is the beauty they are looking for. Instead of looking beautiful, the reverse becomes the case.
As years go by, artificial beauty becomes more sophisticated in the society. The price and cost for looking more beautiful than women were created naturally becomes higher than their natural look.
The cosmetic industry becomes one of the most viable industries worldwide because some women desire artificial beauty. Some engage in cosmetic surgery to alter any part of their body which does not give them pleasure especially the fatty parts. Some go for surgery to make their slacked breasts to return to their original shapes as well as those with big tummies.
It is interesting to note that currently, Nigerian ladies have started to give preference to their natural hair and this is attracting a lot of admiration for them. Many prefer that natural look with low cuts. With that, the cost of maintaining the hair by ladies is reduced.
I think this is commendable as it will save the women from the negative effect of chemical used in manufacturing hair relaxers.
It is also common to see ladies on low cut hairs that are either light complexion, red and other funny colours.
People have been addicted to artificial beauty to the extent that they insert certain substances into their bodies to make them become more robust and attractive to their admirers.
I don’t understand why we should be crazy about adding more to our natural look. Every woman wants to look attractive in a packaged manner without recognising the implications of artificial beauty and make-up.
In fact, women’s quest for beauty has taken different dimension as they tend to appear trendy at home, in offices and as they go about their businesses. That is just to feel belonged and achieve self-esteem.
I recall a few years back, my pastor who trained as an Engineer advised women against the use of lipstick. He said that one of the chemical components of lipstick is lead and that it is dangerous to humans. Many women may not understand the reality of what he said until it manifests.
I think those who are naturally beautiful should not go for artificial make-ups. They should be satisfied with the work of their creator. Women should not continue to paint their faces to look like masquerades and should not lose value due to artificial beauty.
It may interest you to know that persons who apply make-ups excessively are mocked instead of being admired. Make-ups can be applied lightly.
Fixing of nails is another business. After fixing nails, some women find it difficult to perform house cores. Washing their personal belongings becomes a problem. The artificial nails become so long and sophisticated to the extent that the bearer cannot handle objects properly. Those in that habit also find it difficult to eat food with the fingers.
There are people who feel they should have been born in certain colour but when the reverse is the case, they seek artificial make-up. Use of skin-toning cream and soap becomes the option for artificial beauty. This happens to the extent that the users start having dark spots on the skin. Blisters occur on their faces and legs.
Unfortunately, this is an era when there are different kinds of cancer affecting women especially. It becomes difficult to identify the kind of make-up that can be cancerous.
It is high time people had stopped following trend to the detriment of their health.
Ladies should not present themselves as laughing stock with unnecessary make-up as they can still be cherished in their natural outlook.
Eunice Choko – Kayode