No form of adorn
ment identifies the married. It’s the ring that tells.” These were the words of Mrs Evelyn Chidozie, a banker with Diamond Bank, when asked why she wears her wedding ring. This seems to suggest that every married man and woman should have his or her ring on, as a Proof of his/her status. Is it really the case?
As with other life’s  achievements, marriage has its signs on the married and the common sign of identification is the wedding ring. Used as a pledged token of love for each other on the wedding day, the couple, thereafter, find it exciting wearing it.
With time however, it becomes practicable that the ladies are more prone to wearing their wedding rings than the men.
Ofcourse, they have no problem with this because,  to them, there is every reason to do so. Putting on their wedding rings adds value to them, it gives them that sense of ‘having come of age’ and it serves as a protective measure against undue sexual harassment from some men out there.
“Once the wedding ring is on your finger, it puts the men off you. Though some will still want to attempt but the responsible ones will just let you be”  Tonye Ibim said.
They also believe that the ring on their finger is a show of their commitment to their marriage relationship  which helps to freshen the vows and encourage them in their marital functions and challenges.
While some ladies are of the view that the men could be exempted because of their nature and the fact that they are as frequently harassed as the ladies, some say however, that such exemption should not exist as they together made the vow on the wedding day.
They said “the ring is the outward physical sign of the marriage relationship and so, they should put it on and of course, if they are proud of their marriage. It also took the both of us to pledge that day using our rings so they should also fulfill their part.”
Thus, even against the men’s wish, some are compelled to wear their rings while some others will not just wear it no matter what, with the reason that it was just for the wedding day. The result some times is fracas in the home particularly when the couple are set for an outing.
When confronted as to why the absence of such excitement about the ring, these men’s response were obvious.
“The man by nature does not really attach more value to the marriage especially in our african setting. To him, it is not a big deal that he is not married but the case is different with the woman who has come of a marriageable age. So, the man is not too excited about the wedding ring,”  Dr Jaja Sunju said.
As to the  women’s accusation that such men do not cherish and love their wives or marriage relationships, Sunju said “not wearing the ring does not have anything to do with the level of your love for your wife. It’s just about value and what your view is on the wedding ring”.
Mr Koate Baribeop, a civil servant who is also not keen on wearing his wedding ring claims that “the women wear it because it gives them the feelings of ‘winner’. According to him, there are too many women that are competing to be chosen by men and when finally they are picked out of the lots, the ring is the symbol of celebration of her victory. But for the man, he has nothing to lose.”
Engr. Amachree Thompson said however, that the wearing  of wedding ring has nothing to do in the marriage. To him “it makes no sense at all”. He countered that even for the women’s claims that it prevents  sexual harassment, some women with their rings on crave for the harassment to show that they are still fresh and marketable.
He said “for me, wearing the ring does not really stop a woman or man who is married from being promiscuous.           Infact, of recent, it’s like a licence. You could see a man and woman together at a joint and because they are both wearing their wedding rings, you simply take them to be husband and wife. Seeing such persons at odd places  hardly gives you any negative impression when otherwise, there is a lot of questionable issues surrounding them on that outing. Infact, married couples are more into promiscuity than the unmarried ones and so, what’s the big deal about wearing the ring? It does not spell anything  positive”.
But Iwan Ogolo, an Architect, has a different view and I describe him as the ‘friend of the woman’on this issue. To some, “marriage is an achievement and must be appreciated even if it entails wearing the ring. It keeps the memory of the relationship with me wherever I go. I should be proud of wearing my wedding ring to show that I am married and responsible to a family. The day I hurry out of the house forgetting my wedding ring, I feel  incomplete. And on it goes”.
The wedding day is usually referred to as the woman’s day. This is so because that day, she attracts more eyes than the man. The reason  also could not have been different but from the fact that she feels more honoured in every ramification. As it were, it is customary for every woman to be married to  the extent that when the reverse is the case, she is tagged as being ‘wrong’.
So, when nature calls in this manner, keep up with whatever reawakens the excitement. Remember, as you dress your bed, so you lie on it. Your marriage is in your hands and regardless of whether or not your spouse puts on his ring, if yours gives you that feelings, try it on and remain committed to the vows you made at the very beginning,  at least, to prove your worth in the world you are.

Lady Godknows Ogbulu

A typical wedding ring