No Christian home can
receive any blessing from God without prior obedience and submission to His will. Same is marital relationship. In terms of marriage, Collins Dictionary defines submission as an act of submitting, an acceptance of another’s power or authority. An acceptance that somebody has defeated you and that you must obey him. It is generally accepted as obedience and humility. It is to put oneself under the control of another, a costly pearl that is the woman’s pride.
Submission is a powerful instrument in a married woman’s home, hence the scriptures instruct, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives-even as sava obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters ye are…”(1Peter 3:1,6); wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord”(Colossians 3:18). A woman who fails to submit to her husband hardly receives God’s blessings.
There are two issues a wise woman must always address in order to win her husband wholly, which include submission and good food. A dutiful partner who is active in these areas of services receives approval of God and man. Any marital arrangement where these virtues exist makes an ideal home.
The Bible confirms that Sara called Abraham, my Lord, and Sara was willing to accept Abraham’s authority and instructions for her life. No where in the scriptures had she claimed equality and challenged the authority of her spouse. This is true submission. In Ephesians 5:22-24, Pauline epistle was not left out in the submit yourself unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. The submission of an ideal wife her husband sets enviable peace for others like Sara. Emphasis is being laid on these scriptural injunctions in this piece of writing because of their importance for happiness in marriage. A woman that is submissive must be willing to resign her will to her husband’s in all things.
Ignorance of the scriptures and its application has ruined or left many homes in confusion and disintegration today. This principle of complementation is a must for strengthening marital vows. Besides global debates on women equality with men which is purely based on professionalism, an ideal wife should recognise her husband as the head. This is because two captains they say, cannot stir one boat. Organizational chart of family management must have the husband as the chairman, and wife, the vice chairman.
A woman’s submission to her own husband is not contestable or negotiable because it is stubbornness in the heart that betrays this noble virtue in a woman. An arrogant woman cannot equally submit to her own husband, so these diabolical characteristics must be crushed for the smooth running and mutual understanding in the home. The man’s logical trait obviously must resist humiliation from the wife. Any attempt to enforce such trait must meet with revocation and withdrawal of the emotional security of the woman, thereby threatening them very foundation of the marriage.
For any marriage to succeed, there must be respect for psychological differences between men and women. Submission takes a woman further into obedience and humility to her partner while many women feel too big to welcome their spouses on arrival in the home. Common sense can tell us that sheer arrogance prevents a woman from abandoning her discussions outside for the warm embrace of the arrival of her husband. A submissive woman or wife must excuse herself to recognise her husband’s presence and attend to his immediate needs. Unhealthy development and observations such as these lapses can adversely affect interrelationship in the home.
The headship of man is natural and scriptural, so it is non-negotiable. It is inborn in the male. That is why naturally, a girl of ten years can hardly, and not eight years. The body’s rational instinct must resist such orders. There must be discipline and conjugal understanding in the relationship between husband and wife. We must try to avert unnecessary temptations that provoke irrational reactions in our marriages by asking God to help us with the mind of Christ for total victory.
In the divine arrangement, both spouses are responsible to one another with the man as senior partners, so insubordination and unhealthy rivalry must not thrive in the union. The man’s position should not deceive him into ignoring his wife’s advice at her submission to his authority. Rather, a submissive wife must be consulted to contribute in all matters affecting the home. Where consultation fails; the man is inadvertently saying that the wife is not wanted in the home.
Days are gone when women are relegated to the background on crucial matters. The new consciousness has given meaning to womanhood, and credit to their acting capacities as “help meet”. It is constitutionally obligatory on women to know important secrets affecting the home as vice chairman for reference purposes.
The history of submission can be traced to that of Jesus Christ in the garden. He could not mind the cup of sufferings, but yielded to God’s will. Again, submission is the obedience of Jesus’ disciples at the wedding ceremony of Cana of Galilee. According to St. John’s Gospel 2:5, “His mother saith unto the servants, whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.” With this appeal and application, the end product was cooperation and miracle. There can be no miracle in a home where the wife ignores the authority of her husband. What happens there are chaos, bitterness, uncertainties and regrets. Satan becomes the head of the home instead of Christ when the wife does not submit to her husband, and the glory and presence of God is stripped, leaving the partners in nakedness before their enemies.

Shedie Okpara