Women

Ending Violence Against Women (II) … Some Practices That Constitute Violence

Published

14 years ago

November 16, 2009

Harmful traditional/customary practices – These are · Customary discrimination in property inheritance and acquisition.

· Harmful widowhood practices – for example, shaving of head, wearing of mourning clothes (black), not bathing with water and soap for some period of time, drinking bath water of late husband. These are inhuman, degrading and humiliating treatments and sometimes the widow is not allowed to remarry the person of her choice.

· Female genital mutilation/cutting – A harmful practice which lowers the self-esteem of women and the girl child and causes great pain and ill health medically. The reason for this is based on the idea the inferiority or superiority of the sexes or stereotyped roles for men and women as prescribed by custom.

· Early/child marriages or forced marriages – this is prominent in the Northern part of Nigeria (Hausas) were marriage to a minor or pre-adolescent girls are considered lawful i.e. girls who have not started menstruation are allowed to marry which pose health problems to these married children. Happily, in recent times the trend is moving toward a more acceptable standard.

· Customary ideas of divorce, separation or annulment of marriage-traditionally a girl child is given out in marriage on sale, so to speak. She is bound to endure all forms of despicable treatment that could be meted on her by her husband in her matrimonial home with little or no choice of a divorce or separation. Even under extreme physical or emotional abuse (wife beating, adultery willful non supported is proved against the husband, some customs prohibit the women from separation or divorce. She is considered a chattel (goods or property) of her husband to be used and dropped at will without equal right of the woman to do so. While not undermining the advantages of a lasting marriage, we say that this is abuse and violation of the woman’s right as prescribed for and protected even by our creator and originator of marriage, Jehovah God.

· Discrimination and preference of boy child over the girl child.

Lack of Education/Training – a research statistics has it that over 110 million of the world’s children, two thirds of them girls, are not in school. And of the world’s 875 million illiterate adults, two thirds are women.

Illiteracy among women and girl children is alarming. Traditionally, it is the girl child who is allowed to remain at home to help their mother while the boys go to school and play thereafter. Educating a girl child was once viewed as a waste of resources. So while the girl child is engaged in domestic activities at home with her mother for the benefit of the whole family, the boys are schooled receiving formal education. For example, in the legal profession, we have very few women competing with the men, reason being that the profession was once viewed and believed to be a man’s thing. This situation plays itself out even in this 21st century where we still see and hear even mothers at home assigning domestic chores to their girl children because it is as they say a girl’s work. Seeing a man cook, shop and clean the home is regarded as a letdown. He is often called a woman’s wrapper, or one who has been bewitched by his wife.

The list is endless.

Effects On Women

The sad outcome of some of these cases of violence against women results to-

· All forms of discrimination against women

· Poverty which impoverishes them.

· Lack of confidence and trust on the society

· Loss of dignity-one dictionary defines dignity as the quality or state of being worthy, honored or esteemed. Human dignity therefore involves both the way we view ourselves and the way others deal with us. While there are a variety of factors that can affect our feelings about ourselves, the way others view or treat us plays a large role in our sense of personal value in our day to day life. While women have been identified to fall into the poor, defenseless and vulnerable group, being in such circumstances does not necessarily diminish their sense of personal dignity, it is the attitude and reaction of others that constitutes an affront to their dignity.

· Women suffer inequality and marginalization at the workplace and are disempowered and impoverished and cannot participate in public life.

· Even with multiplicity of legal instruments, because enforcement has not commenced from the home and communities, women continue to suffer in silence with little way out.

· Women are in grief because no one seems to hear their cry for help due to the culture of silence promoted by our customs or traditions.

· Women become targets and objects of all sorts of physical and emotional abuse, exploitation, objects of fear and shame in the society.

· Part of health problems

· Children at risk of health problems, performance/and behavioral problems.

Recommendations

· Support the campaign to end violence against women by speaking up any where you can be heard.

· Help to bring perpetrator to account.

· Support FIDA to give voice to the passenger of meaningful laws that will ensure and implement the rights of the women/child help. The implementation by not being a victim yourself.

· Partner with us in our sensitization workshop, trainings, and advocacy from time to time.

· Support to disseminate positive information about our campaigns and educate the public through the mass media when necessary.

· Our husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers and mothers, stop the exploitation of your sisters, mothers, wives and daughters but support their roles as women.

· Above all love for others will help us to apply the counsel of our Lord Jesus Christ who once said in the Holy Bible – “do to others you will want them do to you”.

Boma Kingson Enyingwa

Women

The Wise Woman

Published

13 hours ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

13 hours ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

3 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.