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Ending Violence Against Women

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Violence is an expression of physical or verbal force against one self or others, used to injure. Compelling action against one’s will or pain of being hurt. Violence involves threat to life and actual murder. Violence against women means all acts perpetrated against women which cause or could cause them physical, sexual, psychological and economic harm, including the threat to take such acts; or to undertake the imposition of arbitrary restrictions on or deprivation of fundamental freedoms in private or public life, in peace time and during situations of armed conflicts or of war. According to the dictionary, children are offsprings of parentage, unborn or recently born human being. At Common Law, a child (boy or girl) is one who had not attained the age of 14 years. This presupposes that a girl child is a female that is incapable due to age to make certain decisions for herself but is entitled to care, support (emotional, mental and physical) and love of her parents or guardian, for her wellbeing. The term child or children may include or apply to: adopted, after, born or illegitimate child; step child; child by second or former marriage; issue. This girl child is the same person that grows into the “female or adult human being which conceives and gives birth to the young, also a member of such sex. She is the mother, wife, and sister we all have today. The creator of the girl child or women vested in her certain rights and honor which she is to enjoy without violation, recognised today as human rights in various legal instruments. Any denial, refusal or violation of these rights amounts to an abuse. It is not in doubt that women play important role in the society as mothers, wives and caregivers. Fulfilling those, brings joy happiness and stability to men, women and the society as a whole. Women need the support, love and protection of their husbands, children and members of the society as they strive to function as women. Sad to say however, that for untold number of years now, the girl child, the woman, have continued to suffer several forms of abuse or violence, deprivation and neglect from the same people or society that ought to give her support and love. A brief overview of some of these acts of violence will reveal some sobering statistics. Women and children including boys and girls are mostly at the receiving end of violent acts in times of civil unrest, war and trouble because they are the vulnerable and defenseless group in society. A brief overview of some of these acts of violence will reveal sobering statistics. Trafficking in Women and Children• Women and children (especially girl children) are recruited, transported to unknown destinations, exploited by their victims for economic, sexual ritual and other fraudulent purposes. This is a global epidemic, a modern day slavery of the women and girl child. According to a recent report, between 700,000 and 2 million women are trafficked across international borders annually (UNFPA). These have been identified as a serious threat to human security and development. The report goes on to state that about six Nigerian girls are killed monthly in Italy by ritual killers(probably disposing their vital organs for money or ritual purposes; 30% of Nigerians trafficked through the Sahara desert die in transit. Another disturbing part of this report is that at least 60% of foreign prostitutes in Italy are from African countries, the majority from Nigeria (there are 10,000 to 15,000 prostitutes in Italy). UNICEF estimates that 1.2 million children are trafficked annually. Who are the traffickers we may ask? The report identified the major culprits as con men, yes, our own brothers, fathers, uncles and husband are the primary culprits who pose as helpers of destiny and lure these women and girls into harmful and destructive practice. This is the plight of women on a daily basis. Sad to say that even mothers have also been identified as partakers of this wicked act by using poverty as an excuse to give out their girls children and wards to unknown persons as maids, servants etc who turn out to be predators, by using their children to sell or hawk goods on the streets, or by outright sale of their babies to unknown persons for profit. Domestic Violence . Home violence is so common that many of us see its damage. The bruises and scratches, some resulting to serious injuries and sometimes death that we see often is a result of wife battering or beating even of pregnant ones. These are forms of “family violence that cuts across race, class and background. It is widespread and occurs as often among the upper class as among the lower Husband, brother-in- laws and stepsons are identified as the perpetrators of this indecency. After investigating human abuses committed worldwide in 1997 researchers concluded that “ domestic violence has been one of the principal causes of formal injury in almost every country in the world” Domestic violence, being a widespread yet underreported problem is now called “the silent crises of the” 20th century.” Sexual Abuse in times of trouble, wars or civil unrest: women are the most vulnerable group to be raped and abused sexually. Even children suffer physical, sexual and emotional abuse throughout the world and there seems to be an appalling silence from some representatives when these acts against women are committed within their communities by male members of the community. A survey of adults in several industrialized countries suggests that 10-15% of children are victims of sexual abuse – most of them girls. As a result they die from infectious diseases transmitted through sex eg. HIV/AIDS, or abortions resulting from (unwanted) pregnancies – related causes. A study shows that 1400 die everyday, 99% percent of them developing countries and that in Sub-Sahara Africa, a woman has chances of dying in child birth. In industrialized countries, the risk is in 4,085. Such emergencies as we had in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994, a survey put women at risk of extreme sexual violence and abuse. For example, 2000 women many of whom were survivors of rape, tested positive to HIV infection during the five years following this period. Statistics have it that the rate of infection is higher in girls and women. This threatens to destroy whole communities. In Rivers State of Nigeria, HIV prevalence in Bonny alone as at 5 to 11 % for females as against 4.1 % for males. Poverty/Economic problems – There is discrimination against women at work as a result a large population of women cannot find suitable employments as so depend solely on their husband to provide for basic necessities. Most of these women would suffer as they were at the mercy of their spouses to survive both when there are economic problems and in times of plenty, women suffer. Women are discriminated against at work because of their gender. Though there is no law barring women from particular fields of employment, they are often discriminated against and are adversely affected. There are credible reports that several businesses operate with a “get pregnant, get fired” policy – as we see in some private sectors (bank) where single unmarried ladies are preferred to the married ones. These unmarried ones are then made to endure all forms causes and violations sexually in ‘the hands of their clientele in the employment. As a result the circle of unemployment and poverty continues to make the rounds. Very few women are seen at the helms of affairs and rarely occupy positions of authority. Boma Kingson Enyingwa

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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