Women

Child Marriage: An Undying Culture?

Published

14 years ago

December 28, 2009

The plight of the girlchild in Northern Nigeria is very pathetic. The ideal age for marriage, for ladies though it varies, is usually between 20 to 26 and 25 to 30 for men, but it is an entirely different issue when it has to do with Northern Nigeria.

In the North, little girls who have started menstruating are considered mature for marriage and the case of menstruation varies as a girl of twelve can be given out for marriage based on the fact that she has started menstruating.

Early marriage or child marriage is a pre-dominant phenomenon especially in interior villages of northern Nigeria.

Infact, it is virtually their way of life and it is seen as normal.

Parents derive pleasure in the practice of giving out their young daughters to older men in marriage. This practice thrives, due to a number of factors to some parents, it is a way of raising their economic and social status. They give out their girl-child to a man whose family is wealthy and who they feel can cater for the girl as well as her parents not considering what she wants thereby relegating the significance of love to the background.

Gender-bias is another factor that has facilitated the ugly monster called early marriage of the girl-child in Northern Nigeria. Parents of these children due to their mind-set, see the girl-child as a weak sex, they place little or no value on her and as such perceive her as one not worth the stress of upbringing.

Lack of education has also been fingered as a major propeller of this tradition of a sect.

Because these girls have no educational background, their parents see them as burden worth getting rid of by marrying them off.

Pressures from older members of the family and community also contribute immensely in this direction. Moreso, the notion that early pregnancy leads to larger families and hence providing heirs to the throne has beclouded the sense of reasoning of those concerned.

As enticing as this practice seems, it has its harmful effects on these little girls which the parents are ignorant of, but it is high time they changed their mentality for the better because early marriage has inflicted dangerous and devastating effects on young children who are compelled to tie the knot. Some of these effects are;

Psychological and emotional stress like forced sexual relationship, denial of freedom and personal development as taking care of household chores now becomes a priority for the girl-child. She is faced with the responsibility of raising children when in most cases her system is not yet prepared and mature enough for such function of preparing food for her husband and keeping the house neat at all times. This of course is a tedious task for a girl of fourteen.

Severe health problems during pregnancy and child birth is the fallout of this phenomenon. This is because, these girls were not well developed before they conceived, which of course make delivery difficult, and this resulting to high mortality rate. There is also the threat of sexually transmitted diseases which she is exposed to in such an environment.

These men who marry these young victims are no mates of theirs. They are such that are already mature and developed. Some of them take undue advantage of the immature age of their so called wives to frolic with free ladies outside their marriage.

The result is that diseases are contracted along the line and passed on to these innocent ones who eventually bear the brunt of such ailments.

Ailments such as Visco Vaginal Fistula (VVF) and other unpopular reproductive track diseases have become common among these young ones because they were forced into early sexual and reproductive activities.

Aside the health risks involved in this matter, the girl child remains perpetually enslaved and undeveloped. Woe betides her if she had not seen or finished her secondary education before she is forced into marriage because she will never think in that direction again except a fortunate few.

These master-husbands so cage these young wives so much that their freedom of movement and interaction are infringed upon. They fear that the wives if let out could become exposed and hence wiser to the detriment of the husbands.

The Nigerian constitution recognisers any child under the age of 18 years as minor, and so such can not decide for him/herself but depend wholly on the parents.

The parents on their part must not betray the confidence reposed on them by these young ones by way of exchanging them for purpose of cushioning the effect of harsh economy.

The rights and privileges of theses young ones must be protected.

Ephraim Elizabeth

Women

The Wise Woman

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

3 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.