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Women

Should Couples Share Family Responsibilities?

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Splitting of expenses in homes has existed since the origin of marriage between man and woman- a situation where a man will contribute and a woman will also contribute her own little way in the home.
In years past, when did not they engage in skilled or professional jobs, mothers used to get crops from the farms and prepare food for their households with the fathers supporting with money to pick others things that cannot be got from farm.
Since the men were more engaged in semi-skilled jobs, they were responsible for children school fees, house rents for those who lived in the urban areas where they do not own houses of their own.
These days, some ladies feel that expenses in the homes should not be shared. They feel they should relax and be taken care of since their husbands are the breadwinners. They feel that men should be the sole providers.
Sometimes, they make comments like, I didn’t come to suffer. House responsibilities ranging from school fees, house upkeeps, even a pack of matches and seasoning cubes which are little things a lady should be able to provide in a home are left for the man.
There is this woman who would always wait for her husband to come home and provide every little item in the house, including bills in the neighbourhood.
Some women are in marriage with the mindset that when divorce occurs, they will have to share the property available before she leaves.
Some are lenient in telling their husbands the kind of responsibility they want to take while they claim that they are not ready to take much tasks.
Interestingly, there are men who don’t want their wives to work or do business and are ready to provide whatever demands their wives may make. They don’t like collecting any kobo from their wives instead they prefer to borrow from outside. Even when bills come, they are ready to pay. There is the ego syndrome in some people. Perhaps they do not want a situation where their wives will boast that when there was no money they took care of the home.
One bad thing about couples not sharing responsibilities is that par adventure, the man is not there, the woman will find it difficult to cope with some of the tasks. It is better for women to get used to some of the tasks while the man is there.
A man who expressed his views about this issue, Mr Amos, said that marriage is spiritual. He said since some people go into marriage for going sake. He said they go into marriage because of money so they are not qualified.
According to him, women who are taking care of their homes should be commended. Some women feel that their husbands money is general while the woman’s money is personal.
A banker, Mr Ekong Effiong, said there is no need splitting expenses in home. He is of the opinion that the wife should do what she handle while he takes case of what he can take.
He boasted that he can handle the affairs of his home and will not depend on his wife’s income.
A pharmacist, Mrs. Theresa Jacobs, said that the man should be able to cater for the house and to split expenses. If you split the expenses in the house, what about the pains the woman undergoes in the labour room.
A business woman, Mrs Rose Oni, said togetherness in marriage should not be only in the other room. It should be in all affairs in the home. She said since marriage is for togetherness, expenses at home should be handled between husband and wife.
She said this is not the era where one party handles all expenses.
A commercial bus driver, Nkume Ojim said, every woman is supposed to support her husband. Where is her money supposed to be if not in her husband’s house, he queried.
He said if the man does not have, the woman should support and vice versa.
A nurse, Agatha Mark said that she does not like to share her money with anybody or do a joint account because according to her, her husband will use it to flex outside home.
She maintained that days are gone when mothers were suffering to fend for the home and said that the men are supposed to take care of all expenses.
No matter how live is in any home, if there is no money, things will definitely flow well. Because of the current realities, many men may not be able to meet up.
Couples should practice what will work for them. If from the beginning, couples have agreed to share bills, so be it.
Some women will vow that no man can eat their money, but you may discover that they do it behind to deceived others in the public.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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