Opinion
Marriage As A Life Commitment
Marriage is a relationship, it is also an eternal concept. It is meant to be a loving, intimate, selfless relationship between a man and a woman that lasts as they both live. The Bible admonishes husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and teaches the young women … to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). Love in marriage can be deeper and more selfless than in any other relationship. It is this type of love that Jesus expects of His followers, and it is the virtue that couples need the most. Marriage involves spiritual, emotional, and physical closeness. In the Old Testament, we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Married couples are meant to be unified in every possible way. Sexual intimacy is an expression of love that brings happiness and unity into a marriage. It is also the power by which married couples can “multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Intimacy is also a blessing that can lead to the incomparable joy of children as part of the eternal family unit. Most marriages are founded on love—but it is choosing to maintain and grow that love that poses a challenge. That is where commitment comes in. God considers marriage to be an agreement between a husband and a wife as well as a commitment between the couple and Him. He expects us to dedicate ourselves to the relationship, and to recognise our responsibilities, duties, and loyalties both to our spouse and to God.
The road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrates, it is easy to blame high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There is no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. Until these problems are addressed, no amount of external behaviour modification will work. It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage. Between work schedules, children, and other obligations, sometimes it can seem impossible to maintain that partnership. When problems arise, some couples find that it is healthier to divorce and go their separate ways. For others, it is a better choice to work on the relationship. If you want to stay with your partner and avoid divorce, there are proactive measures you can take. Commit to your relationship: toying with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage can put a major strain on your relationship—even if you never voice those thoughts.
In fact, the thought alone might cause a major break in your motivation to try to improve your marriage. To combat the risk to your relationship, decide ahead of time that divorce is not an option. Making the commitment will help you focus on making your partnership stronger rather than thinking about what life might be like outside your marriage. Honour and respect your partner: People inevitably change over time. Understanding, appreciating, and adapting to those changes are critical for any relationship. Start by making a list of your partner’s best qualities to remind yourself of the wonderful person you married. This exercise will help you remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. It also helps to vocalise how much you appreciate your partner’s quirks and eccentricities. Let your partners know every day—through compliments or thank-you—that you appreciate all that they do. These little expressions are like deposits in the bank. You do not want to make withdrawals from your marriage without ever making any deposits. So, be sure you are doing things that honour your partner for who he or she is and communicate regularly: In this age of smartphones, netflix, and work-from-home lifestyles, it is easy to get distracted. You might find that you often go days without having a real conversation with your spouse. Communicating openly about your life, interests, dreams, frustrations, and feelings is an important way to foster intimacy in a relationship.
Share financial expectations because many marriages are fraught with disagreements over finances. Couples often bring different expectations about money to a relationship. Each partner can find it difficult to see the financial situation from the other person’s perspective. Coming to an agreement about how your money will be handled is a critical component of a successful marriage. Agree on a budget and approach to debt, and make a plan to live within your limits. It’s also important to differentiate between needs and wants. While both are legitimate, couples can face problems if they try to fulfill all their wants without considering their budget. One of the hardest things to balance in a marriage is the right amount of time to spend together. When your partner needs space or a night out with friends, offer to watch the kids or run the errands to ensure they can get that time. On the other hand, you also want to make time to spend with your partner. If babysitting issues or financial constraints make that difficult, plan a fun, cost-effective date night at home.
Work on wellness: It is easy to get into a routine of being overly casual, especially if you have been with your partner for many years. An easy way to rekindle romance is to think back to those early days of dating—preparing for date night with an at-home manicure, getting a fresh shave and haircut, or choosing a fun outfit. There are plenty of ways to feel attractive and energized. Keeping up with your physical fitness boosts your confidence and sense of well-being. It can also double as a way to spend time with your partner. Have date nights: another way to keep the flame burning in a marriage is to continue courting your spouse. Try to make time for a date night every week—even if it is just to get ice cream or cook a new recipe together. If money is a concern, consider trading babysitting with another couple looking to have a date night. You can also just put the baby in a stroller and take a walk around the mall or go to the park. Continue doing the things you did when you were dating. Many couples report that small, thoughtful gestures help them feel like newlyweds. Try leaving your partner little love notes where they will find them, make them coffee in the morning, or buy their favourite snack at the grocery store. Forgive quickly: Marriages often begin to fall apart when one person is holding a grudge. Research has shown that feeling contempt toward your partner almost always festers and can lead to divorce if it is never resolved. Try to forgive your partner as quickly as possible. Remember that forgiveness is just as much a gift you give yourself. Holding a grudge takes up mental and emotional space and almost always impacts your health and stress levels. Do not try to control your partner. In healthy marriages, both partners have mutual respect for one another and do not demand their own way.
This can mean different things to different couples. Partners who attempt to control one another risk becoming emotionally abusive. They might display signs of financial abuse—which frequently leads to divorce. Find help If you are still having challenges in your marriage or you fear that divorce might be imminent, consider counseling or couples therapy. Navigating issues in a marriage can be challenging. To persevere in the relationship and prevent divorce, both partners need to commit to doing the work and putting in time and effort. While the goal is to save the relationship, you will ultimately have to decide if staying together is the right choice for both of you. If you and your partner need more help, consider working with a marriage counselor or a religious leader if you share the same faith. These individuals can help you get a new perspective and can point you toward additional services if needed.
By: Favour Harry
Harry writes from Port Harcourt.
Opinion
Restoring Order, Delivering Good Governance
The political atmosphere in Rivers State has been anything but calm in 2025. Yet, a rare moment of unity was witnessed on Saturday, June 28, when Governor Siminalayi Fubara and Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Chief Nyesom Wike, appeared side by side at the funeral of Elder Temple Omezurike Onuoha, Wike’s late uncle. What could have passed for a routine condolence visit evolved into a significant political statement—a symbolic show of reconciliation in a state bruised by deep political strife.
The funeral, attended by dignitaries from across the nation, was more than a moment of shared grief. It became the public reflection of a private peace accord reached earlier at the Presidential Villa in Abuja. There, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu brought together Governor Fubara, Minister Wike, the suspended Speaker of the Rivers State House of Assembly, Martin Amaewhule, and other lawmakers to chart a new path forward.
For Rivers people, that truce is a beacon of hope. But they are not content with photo opportunities and promises. What they demand now is the immediate lifting of the state of emergency declared in March 2025, and the unconditional reinstatement of Governor Fubara, Deputy Governor Dr. Ngozi Odu, and all suspended lawmakers. They insist on the restoration of their democratic mandate.
President Tinubu’s decision to suspend the entire structure of Rivers State’s elected leadership and appoint a sole administrator was a drastic response to a deepening political crisis. While it may have prevented a complete breakdown in governance, it also robbed the people of their voice. That silence must now end.
The administrator, retired naval chief Ibok-Ette Ibas, has managed a caretaker role. But Rivers State cannot thrive under unelected stewardship. Democracy must return—not partially, not symbolically, but fully. President Tinubu has to ensure that the people’s will, expressed through the ballot, is restored in word and deed.
Governor Fubara, who will complete his six-month suspension by September, was elected to serve the people of Rivers, not to be sidelined by political intrigues. His return should not be ceremonial. It should come with the full powers and authority vested in him by the constitution and the mandate of Rivers citizens.
The people’s frustration is understandable. At the heart of the political crisis was a power tussle between loyalists of Fubara and those of Wike. Institutions, particularly the State House of Assembly, became battlegrounds. Attempts were made to impeach Fubara. The situation deteriorated into a full-blown crisis, and governance was nearly brought to its knees.
But the tide must now turn. With the Senate’s approval of a record ?1.485 trillion budget for Rivers State for 2025, a new opportunity has emerged. This budget is not just a fiscal document—it is a blueprint for transformation, allocating ?1.077 trillion for capital projects alone. Yet, without the governor’s reinstatement, its execution remains in doubt.
It is Governor Fubara, and only him, who possesses the people’s mandate to execute this ambitious budget. It is time for him to return to duty with vigor, responsibility, and a renewed sense of urgency. The people expect delivery—on roads, hospitals, schools, and job creation.
Rivers civil servants, recovering from neglect and under appreciation, should also continue to be a top priority. Fubara should continue to ensure timely payment of salaries, address pension issues, and create a more effective, motivated public workforce. This is how governance becomes real in people’s lives.
The “Rivers First” mantra with which Fubara campaigned is now being tested. That slogan should become policy. It must inform every appointment, every contract, every budget decision, and every reform. It must reflect the needs and aspirations of the ordinary Rivers person—not political patrons or vested interests.
Beyond infrastructure and administration, political healing is essential. Governor Fubara and Minister Wike must go beyond temporary peace. They should actively unite their camps and followers to form one strong political family. The future of Rivers cannot be built on division.
Political appointments, both at the Federal and State levels, must reflect a spirit of fairness, tolerance, and inclusivity. The days of political vendettas and exclusive lists must end. Every ethnic group, every gender, and every generation must feel included in the new Rivers project.
Rivers is too diverse to be governed by one faction. Lasting peace can only be built on concessions, maturity, and equity. The people are watching to see if the peace deal will lead to deeper understanding or simply paper over cracks in an already fragile political arrangement.
Wike, now a national figure as Minister of the FCT, has a responsibility to rise above the local fray and support the development of Rivers State. His influence should bring federal attention and investment to the state, not political interference or division.
Likewise, Fubara should lead with restraint, humility, and a focus on service delivery. His return should not be marked by revenge or political purges but by inclusive leadership that welcomes even former adversaries into the process of rebuilding the state.
“The people are no longer interested in power struggles. They want light in their streets, drugs in their hospitals, teachers in their classrooms, and jobs for their children. The politics of ego and entitlement have to give way to governance with purpose.
The appearance of both leaders at the funeral was a glimpse of what unity could look like. That moment should now evolve into a movement-one that prioritizes Rivers State over every personal ambition. Let it be the beginning of true reconciliation and progress.
As September draws near, the Federal government should act decisively to end the state of emergency and reinstate all suspended officials. Rivers State must return to constitutional order and normal democratic processes. This is the minimum requirement of good governance.
The crisis in Rivers has dragged on for too long. The truce is a step forward, but much more is needed. Reinstating Governor Fubara, implementing the ?1.485 trillion budget, and uniting political factions are now the urgent tasks ahead. Rivers people have suffered enough. It is time to restore leadership, rebuild trust, and finally put Rivers first.
By: Amieyeofori Ibim
Amieyeofori Ibim is former Editor of The Tide Newspapers, political analyst and public affairs commentator
Opinion
Checking Herdsmen Rampage
Do the Fulani herdsmen have an expansionists agenda, like their progenitor, Uthman Dan Fodio? Why are they everywhere even the remotest part of other areas in Nigeria harassing, maiming, raping and killing the owners of the land?”
In a swift reaction, The Movement for the Survival of the Ogoni People (MOSOP) decried and strongly condemned the invasion by suspected Fulani herdsmen.
In his denunciation, MOSOP President Fegalo Nsuke described the incident as very unfortunate and deeply troubling, warning against a recurrence of the violence experienced in Benue State. “The killing of yesterday is bad and very unfortunate. We are getting preliminary information about how the herders gained access to the farmland, and it appears some hoodlums may be collecting money and granting access illegally.”
He called on the Hausa community in Rivers State to intervene swiftly to prevent further attacks.
“We want the Hausa community in Rivers State to take urgent action to ensure these issues are resolved”.
But will such appeal and requests end the violent disposition of the Fulani herdsmen? It is not saying something new that the escalating threat and breach of peace across the country by the Fulani herdsmen or those suspected to be Fulani herdsmen, leaves much to be desired in a country that is bedevilled by multi-dimensional challenges and hydra-headed problems.
Some upland Local Government Areas of Rivers State, such as Etche, Omuma, Emohua, Ikwerre, Oyigbo, Abua, Ogba/Egbema/Ndoni, have severally recounted their ordeals, as herdsmen invaded farmlands, destroyed crops, raped female farmers and killed protestant residents.
Again the wanton destruction of lives and properties which no doubt has overwhelmed the Nigerian Police, makes the clamour for State Police, indispensable. The National Assembly should consider the amendment of the Constitution to allow States to have their Statutory policing agencies.
Opinion
Is Nigeria Democratic Nation?
As insurgency has risen to an all time high in the country were killings has now grown to be a normal daily activity in some part of the nation it may not be safe to say that Nigeria still practices democracy.
Several massacres coming from the Boko Haram and the herdsmen amongst all other insurgencies which have led to the destruction of homes and killing, burning of communities especially in the northern part of the country. All these put together are result of the ethnic battles that are fought between the tribes of Nigeria and this can be witnessed in Benue State where herders and farmers have been in constant clashes for ages. They have experienced nothing but casualties and unrest.
In the month of June 13-14, the Yelwata attack at the Guma Local Government Area by suspected gunmen or herdsmen who stormed the houses of innocent IDPs (Internally Displaced Persons) claiming the lives of families, both adults and children estimated to be 200 victims. They were all burnt alive by these unknown gunmen.
This has been recorded as one of the deadliest insurgencies that had happened in recent years. Some security personnel that were trying to fight the unknown gunmen also lost their lives.
Prior to the Yelewata attack, two days before the happening, similar conflict took place in Makurdi on June 11, 2025. 25 people were killed in the State. Even in Plateau State and the Southern Kaduna an attack also took place in the month of June.
All other states that make up the Middle Belt have been experiencing the farmers/herders clash for years now and it has persisted up till recent times, claiming lives of families and children, homes and lands, escalating in 2025 with coordinated assaults.
Various authorities and other villagers who fled for safety also blamed the herdsmen in the State for the attack that happened in Yelwata community.
Ehebha God’stime is an Intern with The Tide.
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