Connect with us

Opinion

Consequences Of High Bride Price

Published

on

Bride price is payment made by a groom or his kin to the family of the bride in order to ratify a marriage.  It is paid by the family of the groom to their future in-laws at the start of the marriage usually in cash and materials.
Bride price in Nigeria varies from one ethnic group to another.  What obtains as bride price in Rivers State may be different from Kogi State in terms of cash and materials required by the bride’s family. Although there are a few similarities in the list of items to be provided by the groom in Nigeria.
It also varies from family to family. Some families collect as low as N5,000 while others collect as high as N1,000,000.
There are criticisms that this African tradition of paying bride price to the bride’s family before marriage degrades a woman by putting a required monetary value on a wife.But those who support the tradition uphold it as a cherished cultural and religious symbol of marriage.
Some families see bride price as symbolic, hence they ask for less. I have seen a situation where the mother of the bride collected N30,000 and later gave it back to the couple, asking them to put it in their bank account so that it will serve as a “starter pack”. This shows that she wasn’t really giving her out for money.
In our local setting, a marriage is recognised only when bride price and gift items have been presented to the bride’s family.  It is important because it validates marriage to give a woman respectable status in the society as a wife.
The importance of bride price can never be over-emphasised. It is one of the highest honours confirming a bride’s value and womanhood, giving a husband the full rights to the economic and reproductive powers of his wife. It is an honour bestowed on the parents that their daughter is getting married.
I see nothing wrong in payment of bride price but in recent time, the issue of high bride price seems to be competitive among families whose daughters are ripe for marriage.It is alarming and heart-breaking how newly-wedded couples end up paying debts years after marriage. When demanding for high bride price, some parents do not realise the fact that the yet-to-be couple will plan for church and court (Registry). The Registry requires little token. Although, the clergy will not ask, but the couple need to settle one or two things in church.
More worrisome is the fact that some parents demand a live cow from an in-law as if the lady is to be exchanged. I know of a culture where cow must be provided to her kinsmen by the surviving husband or children before a late woman must be buried. The claim is that the man didn’t complete the marriage rites before the death if the woman. This is just to extort money from the late woman’s children.
A young man was mandated to pay about N2million to the wife’s kins after losing her during child birth, simply because he never completed marriage rites. What about the welfare of the surviving child?
A situation where a basin of fish that costs over N200,000 must be presented in the name of bride price for a traditional marriage to be contracted gave me concern.
A father also demanded about N1million as dowry for his daughter. For Christ’s sake, no amount of money collected as bride price can pay all the expenses from birth to University level of a lady as this is the dream of greater percentage of our parents nowadays. No amount of money can buy a woman. “Her value is inestimable”.
High bride price can cause disharmony between husband and his in-laws. A young man was lamenting that after his marriage, his in-laws can never be allowed into his family. This is as a result of whatever high bride price they would have charged.
High bride price can cause a man to exhibit violent behaviours when he remembers how much he paid. He gets angry at every little thing the wife does which can lead to domestic violence. The implication is that the woman will suffer in silence with the fear that the man may demand for the high bride price if she leaves the marriage.
Income from her job or personal business is seen by the man as his. She is being denied freedom on using her income and often leads to a situation where the husband must be consulted before any monetary transaction in the family. This leads to hostile marital environment and can destabilise the marriage.
Man dominates the woman in terms of decision-making. The woman has little say or nothing when issues come up in the home. He can say: “Don’t talk, I paid heavily”.
One of the consequences of high bride price is that if perhaps divorce occurs, the bride and the family, according to customary norms, have to return the dowry. If the dowry were very expensive to the tune of N1million, they may not be able to pay back.
High bride price encourages gender inequality. It reduces the power and prestige of the woman with the perception that she was paid for.
High bride price leads to poverty. A couple may have been forced to incur debts in the course of marriage. These are young men and women who are starting life perhaps after graduation and have not made enough savings. Paying back debts incurred during weddings for two to three years should be discouraged.
For many young men, withdrawal syndrome sets in when they remember that they have to provide as much as N1million to marry a wife. You see someone going to marry at the age 50 because he didn’t have enough.  Even the ladies are also affected here. Some men get scared of going into such families or ethnic groups for marriage.  When will they train their children?
No matter the status of the groom, minimal amount should be fixed for dowry to avoid certain consequences in future. Family of the bride should take cognizance of the fact that their daughter deserves some comfort in her new home.
It is high time the traditional institutions worked through their subjects in the various communities to create awareness on the dangers of high bride price in our society.
Community heads who are saddled with the responsibility of marriage functions and rites should be advised to cut down some of the items and reduce the costs of available ones.
I call on local government councils to work with traditional rulers, community and family
heads as well as women leaders to come out with minimum and maximum amount of money and other items needed as bride price and dowry.
It should be domesticated in the by-laws of the local councils across Nigeria.

 

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

Continue Reading

Opinion

 Learning From China’s Educational System

Published

on

As the world grapples with the complexities of the 21st century, it is essential to recognise the distinction between education and learning. While often used interchangeably, these terms have distinct meanings that impact our approach to personal and professional development. Education refers to the formal instruction and certification process, typically within a school or university setting. It provides a foundation in various subjects and disciplines, preparing students for future careers. Learning, on the other hand, encompasses the broader process of acquiring knowledge, skills, and values throughout one’s life. It extends far beyond the classroom, incorporating experiences, challenges, and opportunities that shape our perspectives and abilities.
The primary goal of education is to equip students with the necessary credentials and knowledge to enter the workforce. In contrast, learning focuses on personal growth, self-improvement, and adaptability in an ever-changing world. Education provides a solid foundation, but learning is what truly empowers individuals to thrive. It enables us to develop new skills, explore innovative ideas, and navigate complex challenges. Unfortunately, many individuals confuse education with learning, assuming that a degree or certification guarantees success. However, the reality is that learning is a lifelong journey, requiring continuous effort and dedication.
To truly succeed, we must embrace a culture of learning, fostering curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking. This involves seeking out new experiences, asking questions, and embracing challenges as opportunities for growth.In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world, learning is more essential than ever. It enables us to stay adaptable, innovative, and relevant, unlocking our full potential and driving progress.As we move forward, it is crucial to recognise the difference between education and learning. By prioritising learning as a lifelong pursuit, we can unlock our true potential and create a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come.While education provides a foundation, learning is the key to unlocking our full potential. China’s remarkable rise to global prominence offers a compelling case study. Her unimaginable economic growth and technological advancements are often attributed to its emphasis on education. However, a closer examination reveals that the country’s true strength lies in its culture of learning.
It is no gainsaying the fact that  education is highly valued in China, and the gaokao (national college entrance examination) is a high-stakes test that determines one’s academic and professional trajectory, yet, it is the informal learning processes that occur outside the classroom that have driven China’s innovation and progress. From a young age, Chinese students are encouraged to engage in extracurricular activities, such as music, art, and sports, which foster creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills. These skills are essential for success in a rapidly changing world. Moreover, China’s cultural heritage places a strong emphasis on self-cultivation and lifelong learning. The concept of “xuéxí” (learning) is deeply ingrained in Chinese philosophy, emphasising personal growth and development throughout one’s life.The Chinese government has also invested heavily in vocational training and adult education programmes, recognising that learning is a continuous process that extends far beyond formal education
. In contrast, Nigeria’s education system is such that  focuses  on rote memorisation over critical thinking. Nigeria’s curriculum prioritizes core subjects like mathematics, English, and science, but often neglects essential skills like creativity, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence even as it  faces  numerous challenges, including inadequate funding and outdated curricula.One major bane of  Nigeria’s education system has been the  placement of a high premium on certification and paper qualifications, often at the expense of genuine learning and skill acquisition, instead of a  curriculum designed to foster innovation, creativity, and adaptability, with a strong emphasis on science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) education where students are encouraged to explore, experiment, and learn from failure. Nigerian students are rather discouraged from taking risks or challenging authority.
Moreover, China’s education system is constantly evolving, with a focus on lifelong learning and continuous skill acquisition, whereas Nigeria’s education system has remained largely static, with few opportunities for professional development or skill upgrading. While both China and Nigeria face unique challenges in their education systems, China’s emphasis on learning, innovation, and skill acquisition has positioned it for success in the 21st century. Nigeria, on the other hand, must urgently reform its education system to prioritise learning over certification, creativity over memorisation, and skills acquisition over mere paper qualifications. Like China, Nigeria’s education system needs to prioritise social-emotional learning, including skills like empathy, self-awareness, and conflict resolution, which are essential for success in the modern world. Truth be said, while education provides a solid foundation, it is learning that truly empowers individuals and societies to thrive.
Navigating  the complexities of the 21st century, truly requires learning from China’s example to  prioritise learning as a lifelong pursuit. By learning from China’s example, Nigeria can unlock the potential of its youth and leapfrog its way to economic prosperity and global relevance.The future belongs to those who learn, adapt, and innovate – let us choose the path of wisdom.

By: Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Continue Reading

Opinion

The Ministry Of Livestock Development

Published

on

From the reactions of the populace since the announcement of the creation of the Federal Ministry of Livestock Development on Tuesday by President Bola Tinubu, it is obvious that many people did not see that coming.
In February this year, the federal government had announced its resolution to implement the Stephen Oronsaye report that called for a leaner government by merging some agencies and scrapping some others. The president was widely applauded for that decision which many believe will reduce cost of governance and save money to tackle pressing challenges in the country.
The kick-off of this was still being awaited when the announcement for the creation of another ministry came. By this development we now have 46 ministries, the highest in the history of the country.
Apparently, President Tinubu, just like many other well-meaning, patriotic Nigerians is disturbed about the state of the nation’s economy and the unabating insecurity in the land. As a way of tackling these challenges he, on September 15th, 2023, approved the establishment of the Presidential Committee dedicated to the reform of the livestock industry and the provision of long-term solutions to recurring clashes between herders and farmers in the country.
The establishment of the Ministry of Livestock Development was part of the recommendations of the National Livestock Reforms Committee. Part of the 21 recommendations submitted to the president include: “This agenda should include the establishment and resuscitation of grazing reserves as suggested by many experts and well-meaning Nigerians and other methods of land utilisation.
“Create the Ministry of Livestock Resources in line with practice in many other West African countries. In the alternative, Federal and State Governments should expand the scope of existing Departments of Livestock Production to address the broader needs of the industry,” among others.
The livestock industry is a vital component of any economy, contributing significantly to various economic and social aspects. Two agriculturists were on a national radio on Wednesday and spoke expansively about these benefits which include: job creation, increase to the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and foreign exchange earning through the exports of livestock and livestock products such as meat, dairy, wool and leather.
The livestock industry creates millions of jobs directly in farming, processing, and distribution, and indirectly in related sectors like feed production, veterinary services, and marketing. It provides livelihoods for rural populations, helping to reduce poverty and improve the quality of life in rural areas.
According to them, a well-funded livestock industry supports the growth of agro-processing sectors, such as meat packing, dairy processing, and leather manufacturing, adding value to raw products and creating additional economic activity.
It stimulates the development of supply chains, including logistics, packaging, and retail, contributing to broader economic growth. It enhances economic resilience by diversifying the agricultural sector and providing a buffer against crop failures or other agricultural shocks and many more.
Some other agriculturists have also opined that the livestock industry in Nigeria is currently underdeveloped and that by the creation of the ministry of livestock development will open up the industry which will be a huge money spinner for Nigeria.
While their points are quite logical, it must be stated that these can still be achieved without the creation of a new ministry. There is the department of livestock in the ministry of agriculture both at the federal and state levels. Why not empower them to do the job? The National Livestock Reforms Committee even recommended the expansion of the scope of existing Departments of Livestock Production by both federal and state governments to address the needs of the industry.
Why not take that option instead of creating a new ministry with all the attendant costs at a period the citizens are faced with severe hardship and no food to eat? If adequate concern is given to the various departments of livestock as the new ministry will most likely receive, they will function effectively and the best results will be achieved.
Why do we like changing nomenclature all the time and achieving the same result or even nothing? For instance, what has the Ministry of the Niger Delta Development achieved that is different from that of the NDDC since it was created? Since Limited was added to the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) thereby making it (NNPCL), what changes have we seen?
To get Nigeria on the right footing has nothing to do with duplication of ministries or agencies. It has to do with the determination of the leader to do the right thing, appointing the right people to the right positions, irrespective of the tribe, religion or political affiliations. If the Ministry of Livestock Development was created to appease a certain section of the country in order to secure their votes in 2027, as being insinuated by some people, then it is very unfortunate. Former President Goodluck Jonathan built Almajiri schools as a political strategy. Did that make him win the election?
The president should discard this selfish idea if he has it at the back of his mind and focus on repositioning this country through good policies and exemplary leadership and he will naturally have the support of Nigerians during the next election. He should begin to fulfil all the promises he made to the citizens like the launching of about 2,700 Compressed Natural Gas, CNG-powered buses and tricycles before May 29, 2024, making our local refineries functional and many more.
Nigerians are skeptical that the new Ministry of Livestock Development is merely a political gimmick that will go the way of many other “political projects” in the past and that it is another way of compensating some party loyalists. Tinubu therefore has to prove the skeptics wrong by ensuring that only the right, qualified people are employed in the ministry. Square pegs must be put in square holes.
There should be a holistic look at the challenges facing the agriculture sector which is largely responsible for the food shortage the country is grappling with currently. The issue of insecurity must be handled headlong to enable farmers go back to their farms. Attention must also be paid to irrigation, provision of fertiliser at subsidised rates to ensure adequate food supply at all seasons. Whatever needs to be done to guarantee surplus food supply in the country should be done so that the people will have food to eat. Livestock is important but let us have food to eat first.
It is also important that the relevant agencies should embark on sensitisation and education of the populace on the functions and scope of the new ministry. The notion that livestock is all about cows and dairy production can be destructive and must be corrected. Every part of the country is involved in one form of livestock or another – piggery, goat rearing, fishery, snail rearing and many more. They should all be carried along.
In summary, the livestock industry is integral to economic development, providing essential contributions to employment, food security, industrial growth, and social well-being. Investing in and supporting this sector is crucial for fostering sustainable and inclusive economic growth. But it must be done in the proper manner and with sincerity of purpose.

Calista Ezeaku

Continue Reading

Opinion

Understanding What Marriage Is

Published

on

Marriage is a timeless institution that has been the foundation of human society for centuries. Yet, in today’s evolving world, its essence and significance are often misunderstood. As we navigate the complexities of love, commitment, and relationships, it is essential to revisit the true meaning of marriage and its enduring importance in our lives. At its core, marriage is a sacred union between two individuals, transcending mere romance or legal contract. It is a lifelong commitment to build a life together, fostering growth, trust and unconditional love. Marriage is a journey of mutual support, understanding, and compromise, where two souls become one.
Beyond the vows and ceremonies, marriage represents: Unwavering commitment: A promise to stand by each other through life’s triumphs and tribulations. Emotional intimacy: A deep understanding and acceptance of each other’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.Trust and loyalty: Unshakeable faith in each other’s words and actions. Shared values and goals: A united vision for a life built on common principles and aspirations. Family and legacy: The foundation of a family unit, creating a lasting impact on future generations. Personal growth: A catalyst for individual development, encouraging self-improvement and selflessness. Social and cultural significance: A celebration of love and unity, strengthening social bonds and community ties.
If I may ask, Do you understand a newly wedded man is called groom and the woman called bride? A friend of mine got tired of his wife just about six months after wedding. He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he has concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he made a mistake. I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him the right thing, so I went home. And that is what birthed this message. Many men have broken up with their wives because they ended up not being the wife that they have dreamt of. They have forgotten that their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task.
Nobody calls the woman wife on her wedding day but bride, because it is the man that will groom his bride to become the wife. That is why the man is called ‘bridegroom or groom’ and the word grooming has to do with patiently nurturing, teaching, tending and helping someone to become what he or she should be. It is therefore believed that a man that takes a woman to the altar of marriage is mature enough to patiently groom his bride to become the wife. The man is not supposed to just expect the bride to automatically become the wife, she must be groomed. It is clear that many of us men had unnecessary expectations when we were getting married.
Yes, we want some magic to happen to our wives, we want them to become what we have had in mind about who we want our wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is in your mind except you teach her. Our expectations are often too unrealistic, because we do not remember that change takes time and we can only expect something from someone that knows what we want. So, before you think of breaking up, have you groomed her? Have you given her time to understand you? Hope you realise that a turtle will never become a hawk? God often brings people that are opposites of each other together in marriage so they can help each other in their place of weaknesses. If your wife is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed?
The problem with many of us is that we do not accept people before attempting to change them. Of course, our wives are not from our backgrounds, so it will take time for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her: accept her, love her, teach her and be patient with her; that is what grooming is all about. She is going to be your wife but she is your bride now, so groom her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a turtle and you a hawk, she cannot fly so be patient with her. I do not believe that your marriage can not work, be patient and allow God to help you. The term “groom” for a husband-to-be or a newlywed husband has its roots in history and tradition.
In the past, a “groom” referred to a servant or attendant responsible for taking care of horses. Over time, the term evolved to describe a man who was “grooming” himself for marriage, preparing to take on the responsibilities of a husband. In the 15th century, the term “groom” became synonymous with “bridegroom,” emphasising the man’s role in preparing for and supporting his bride. The word “groom” also connoted a sense of refinement, elegance, and polish, much like a well-groomed horse.Today, the term “groom” is a romantic and endearing way to refer to a husband or fiancé, symbolising his commitment to care for, support, and cherish his partner, much like a groom would tend to his horses.
So, in essence, a husband is called a groom because he is seen as the one who prepares himself to care for and support his bride, much like a groom would prepare and care for his horses. In a world where relationships are increasingly complex, remembering the true essence of marriage is crucial. By embracing its timeless values and principles, we can nurture stronger, more meaningful relationships, building a foundation for a lifetime of love, happiness, and fulfilment. Let us cherish and honour the sacred institution of marriage, recognising its profound impact on our lives and society. Marriage is not just a union between two individuals but a celebration of love, commitment, and the human spirit.

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Continue Reading

Trending