Women

The Role Of Mothers In Girl Child Dev

Published

3 years ago

October 20, 2023

The world over, the girl Child is being celebrated annually not just because of her importance, but because of her peculiar nature. The girl child is a female specie in the family that is faced with many life challenges.
Girl children need care and should be celebrated even on a daily basis. Every good parent should not wait until the recommended date to commemorate the “International Day of the Girl-Child” in a year before the girl is celebrated.
Every good parenting rests solely on the mother. The mother is the female parent in a family. Good parenting practices must be showcased by women in homes.
Bringing up the girlchild in the right way requires understanding the girl’s developmental stages. Choice of best styles of parenting tips is very important and effective use of the tips are also important.
Women should not be very authoritative when dealing with the girlchild. Deal with her in a manner that you allow her express herself.
Permitting her to attend programmes that are not just religious but programmes that will assist her in other life endeavours.
A mother should be involved in the activities of the girl child. Find out what she does on the computer and hand phones (pinging).
A mother can never neglect her girlchild due to misunderstanding no matter how serious that issue may be. She is still your child. That mother/child bond must be maintained.
We are talking about the adolescent age, where the girl has started realising what life is about. At this stage, self-esteem comes in. If the parent does not provide most of the needs of the girlchild, she may be tempted to start looking outside for assistance. That ego that she is getting mature is definitely going to be there.
There are pretty things she needs for upkeep. The choice of perfumery/toiletries comes in here. It is important that her undies are made available especially when the “monthly visitor” arrives. A mother must move a step further to ensure that her girl is clean.
At this stage, she may be a student without purchasing power. This is one of the greatest problems she has which the opposite sex does not. If it is a family that finds it difficult to have three-square meal per day, it exposes her to danger.
Disciplining the girl-child should be consistent, do not skip days and weeks and must be limited. Excess of it may not work well in her life.
As women, do not spend all the time on work and business and get the best result from them.
According to a child psychologist, the greatest problem in good parenting is time factor. If women give more time to their female children, they will be free from STDs, HIV/AIDs and unwanted pregnancy.
At the adolescent stage, communication must be prioritised. A mother should be able to identify the problems associated with the age, sit her down and teach the dos and don’ts of the game. There must be effective communication between the mother and daughter since they are of the same sex. This is very important because there is a limit to a discussion between a father and daughter.
The girl-child deserves to be listened to and every mother must be a good listener. If you do not listen carefully to your child, it can lead to communication breakdown.
Flexibility in the kind of decisions taken as a mother is important. In nurturing the adolescent girl, a mother should be willing to adjust her parenting styles.
Mothers should bear in mind that the femalechild has the right to be born well and wants to have a wholesome family life. She wants to be raised well to become a contributing member of the home and the society at large.
When you interact with them sometimes, you hear the kind of beautiful lives they want to live and achievements in future. These can only manifest when the girl is put on the right path. The girl children dream big when the foundation is strongly built.
Basic needs of food, clothing and in fact, basic education are very important if our girls have to be comfortable. Sometimes, you hear them grumbling if their needs are not available.
It we must get it right, the female children must play when necessary and enjoy their youth. We must protect them from danger because they are endangered species. When she falls into a prey, unwanted pregnancy can occur, so that is the reason why they must live in a peaceful and productive environment.
They must be cared for. Freedom is very important but to an extent.
A mother must continue to nurture the girlchild till she becomes a woman. Nurturing should not be at the adolescent stage we are celebrating annually but should start from birth through infancy, pre-school age to the adolescent stage.
At the crucial age of 11-18, even up to 20 years, the girl needs to be under parental authority as against her own wish.
In this era of higher need of academic pursuit and technology, the girl must excel. The girlchild must be moulded so as to be able to represent the parents well wherever she may find herself.
There are certain traits mothers need to know which manifest at the adolescent age. Some call it tempting age. In a family where everyone goes to church together or in a family car, but the adolescents in the house will like to go alone to church. A child who gets ready for school at 7am, suddenly stays in the bedroom till 7:30am and stands at the mirror for a couple of minutes and gets ready by 8am. That shows that maturity is setting in with a lot of changes.
A good mother has to be calm, loving and caring considering that it is a stage of contradiction of likes and dislikes, hate, love, fear and trust. If the foundation laid by mothers at the zero stage is solid, there will be mutual understanding.
Mothers must be careful at this stage because their reactions to changes may stop or hinder the girl or cause withdrawal. The girlchild may also decide to run out of home. In this case, mothers should use love to bring them back to reasoning because they become irrational sometimes.
When they begin to keep peers, mother must know whom their friends are. Although it is a team work for both parents, mothers should play prominent role because they are supreme in the girlchild’s upbringing.
The mother’s lifestyle plays an important role in the child’s life, so, teaching them sex education early especially with technology available is crucial. With this, you create intimacy.
A woman should take it as a priority to let the girl know the reason why she should cover her sensitive parts of her body to avoid rape which may lead to unwanted pregnancy.

By: Eunice Choko -Kayode

Women

Women And Dangers Of Obnoxious Practices

Published

3 weeks ago

October 9, 2026

The Tide

It is worrisome to hear that a woman or a girl is bathed with acidic contents just because she refuses to adhere to one instruction or the other from an opposite sex.

Sometimes, you see a woman with bruises on the face, with one eye swollen as if she is an animal perhaps she demanded one or two things from her spouse.

A situation where a widow will be mandated to marry a brother-in-law for her to still belong to the family where she is married and to partake in inheritance should be looked into.

Severally, there have been talks, seminars, workshops, fora, arguments, bills and laws abolishing the issues that concern women, especially violence. But much has not been achieved to curtail the menace.

Violence against girls and women has been on the increase. From time to time, it is either girls are denied access to father’s property or a widow is denied inheritance to husband’s properties. Even when laws are put in place about things that will help women have their rights, some persons feel that culture and tradition do not permit such laws.

We are aware that some women are rich and may not want to partake in the share of their late parents’ property, but there are vulnerable ones who may need to be empowered, through perhaps, late parents’ property inheritance.

Some of the obnoxious laws were made before now without the consent of women. There was no enough representation to either argue for or against so as to be beneficial to women generally. Some of the laws were so primitive that even when civilisation came, became difficult to change. Very unfortunately, it is the women sometimes who execute the laws made by men in their absence. But women are suffering it.

If government can establish laws abolishing certain practices against women and girls, it will be better for them and should be in the presence of women while they are in the parliament so that they can contribute as well.

For long, laws against female genital mutilation and circumcision have existed but some communities due to their culture and tradition have refused to put a stop to it with reasons best known to them.

Circumcision of a full-grown girl or lady may not be the only way of attaining maturity. It is a harmful practice and the pain associated with it cannot be imagined. The illegal operation is not performed in the hospital so the dangers inherent will be much.

For those who still practise it, the menace should be discouraged as that is not a proper way of ushering a girl into womanhood. A lot of women lose their lives due to pains experienced during the process. If it was practised in the past when civilisation was not there, it is a different case, nowadays with science and technology proving it wrong, those who still practice should resist.

We know that government is doing a lot to save women and girls from some of the pains they go through but right steps should be taken in the right direction and all stakeholders intensify efforts in dealing with persons who perpetuate evil against their fellow women.

One issue that comes to mind is implementation even if policies and laws are put in place by relevant agencies. The issue has been dwelt on for decades, but it is still practised as big ceremonies in some communities.

When it comes to inheritance, a girl born into a family, married or unmarried will be denied access to father’s property.

When parents are sick, the female child will pick him or her for care and offset medical bills. If it has to do with the demise of parents, the woman and the spouse to will be mandated to provide a cow and perform other burial rites.

If the National Assembly makes laws concerning the well-being of women, community heads, molecular leaders, women groups and associations, religious organisations, Non-Governmental organizations (NGOs) and Civil Society Organisations (CSOs) should create more awareness through the media to sensitise rural dwellers.

In this digital era, it should be forbidden that a woman loses her spouse and she is mandated to drink water used on the late husband.

A legal practitioner, Tam Jacobs, said if one forcefully shaves a woman’s hair with the intention that she is mourning her late spouse, she can sue that person for assault.

He said if the woman is forced to drink water used on her late husband’s body, she can also sue for attempted murder.

According to him, several cases of girl-child inheritance have been won and documented in the law court but some cannot claim it.

“Even a widow who is handicapped may not be able to make attempts, so NGOs, CSOs should be in the forefront to support them and ensure that the laws are implemented at the grassroots level where they are practised”, he said.

A pharmacist, Eno Amos said any culture that does not add colour and value to life, especially as it concerns women should be abolished.

She added that implementation can be easy in the cities where awareness has been created but expressed fear that it may not be easy in the rural areas where culture is really practised.

A business woman, Agnes Ugwu, said tradition and culture were made by man and not God and wondered why people who claim to be educated still follow the tradition of ancestors who never went to school.

Ignorance also comes to play here. If you have watched a documentary showing female genital mutilation and the gory experience the young women go through is something else. Some of the perpetrators claim that the practice has existed for ages. Women have to learn more about issues that concern them.

A nurse, Rosy Ekeocha, said it is not about culture but about the behavior of a group of people in the community who force it on others.

According to her, let people change their behaviour and leave culture alone. It does not happen in every family and if any family allows it that is its business.

She said we are in the 21st century, certain cultures and tradition need to be reviewed to ensure that they align with today’s reality.

Culture is dynamic she said, but that implementation of laws relating to the vulnerable in the society calls for concern.

We should not behave the way people behaved twenty decades ago, after all, we do not dress the way our forefathers dressed. Time has evolved and things are getting better as it concerns women. We are getting more exposed and more enlightened about issues that concern us. Information is moving round as the world is a global village.

Talking about culture nowadays, we wear shoes whereas our forefathers never had any. They walked barefooted far distances to get family necessities but things are better now as we are mobile.

That should also happen to culture and tradition. There are certain aspects of our culture and tradition which are practised today that have expired long ago. We should get rid off them.

Sometime, the bill for prohibition of obnoxious practices against women at the National Assembly was seen as a welcome development, how far have the powers that be gone to ensure that it favours women.

It is expected that the bills abolishing obnoxious practices against women and girls in the society should have started achieving results as it concerns their wellbeing.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

Women

What A Woman Wants In A Man

Published

1 month ago

September 25, 2026

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.

There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..

That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.

A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.

She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.

A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.

A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.

It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.

Don’t loose trust in your husband.

The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.

Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.

A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode

Women

Who Is A Classic Woman?

Published

1 month ago

September 25, 2026

The Tide

A classic woman is one who has identified herself in terms of fashion, occupation or the kind of business she does.

A woman can be classical in the way she entertains her audience in terms of music and movies. You will discover that some female musicians are identified with the kind of music they sing.

A classical woman is one who always wants to appear trendy.

Generally, classical women are normally identified with the kind of things they are involved in.

There are ladies that want to be identified with wearing of shorts (short trousers) in the public. They use it to showcase their beauty. They want to be identified with such things as they see it as socialisation.

Some wear trousers that are so tight just to showcase all the curves they possess.

Consultant stylists and etiquette experts say some fashions won by some persons are inappropriate because of how and when they are won.

A classic woman is supposed to dress properly. She should be able to wear clothes that will not expose hidden parts of her body. When such occurs, then it is indecent dressing.

Ladies should be known for two things, classical and beauty. One can be classic with minimisation. The minimum woman should go is to look good, decent and presentable.

Some ladies like wearing short skirts but no matter how short the skirt is, it should look elegant. The skirt should not be too short like the mini-skirt.

Dressing or fashion depends on the environment the persons finds herself. The kind of clothes won to the office may be different from the one won at home. Likewise, a dress won to a party may be different from the one won too swimming pool.

For one to look classical or decent, body shape should be taken into consideration.

Colours of a particular fashion can make one look odd or nice. Looking model does not mean that one should go naked or dull.

Don’t wear clothes that you need to drag from time to time in order not to expose yourself.

By: Eunice Choko-Kayode