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 The Role Of Mothers In Girl Child Dev

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The world over, the girl Child is being celebrated annually not just because of her importance, but because of her peculiar nature. The girl child is a female specie in the family that is faced with many life challenges.
Girl children need care and should be celebrated even on a daily basis. Every good parent should not wait until the recommended date to commemorate the “International Day of the Girl-Child” in a year before the girl is celebrated.
Every good parenting rests solely on the mother.  The mother is the female parent in a family.  Good parenting practices must be showcased by women in homes.
Bringing up the girlchild in the right way requires understanding the girl’s developmental stages.  Choice of best styles of parenting tips is very important and effective use of the tips are also important.
Women should not be very authoritative when dealing with the girlchild. Deal with her in a manner that you allow her  express herself.
Permitting her to attend programmes that are not just religious but  programmes that will assist her in other life endeavours.
A mother should be involved in the activities of the girl child.  Find out what she does on the computer and hand phones (pinging).
A mother can never neglect her girlchild due to misunderstanding no matter how serious that issue may be.  She is still your child.  That mother/child bond must be maintained.
We are talking about the adolescent age, where the girl has started realising what life is about.  At this stage, self-esteem  comes in. If the parent does not provide most of the needs of the girlchild, she may be tempted to start looking outside for assistance.  That ego that she is getting mature is definitely going to be there.
There are pretty things she needs for upkeep.  The choice of perfumery/toiletries comes in here. It is important that her undies are made available especially when the “monthly visitor” arrives.  A mother must move a step further to ensure that her girl is clean.
At this stage, she may be a student without purchasing power.  This is one of the greatest problems she has which the opposite sex does not.  If it is a family that finds it difficult to have three-square meal per day, it exposes her to danger.
Disciplining the girl-child should be consistent, do not skip days and weeks and must be limited. Excess of it may not work well in her life.
As women, do not spend all the time on work and business and get the best result from them.
According to a child psychologist, the greatest problem in good parenting is time factor.  If women give more time to their female children, they will be free from STDs, HIV/AIDs and unwanted pregnancy.
At the adolescent stage,  communication must be prioritised. A mother should be able to identify the problems associated with the age, sit her down and teach the dos and don’ts of the game. There must be effective communication between the mother and daughter since they are of the same sex. This is very important because there is a limit to a discussion between a father and daughter.
The girl-child deserves to be listened to and every mother must be a good listener. If you do not listen carefully to your child, it can lead to communication breakdown.
Flexibility in the kind of decisions taken as a mother is important. In nurturing the adolescent girl, a mother should be  willing to adjust her parenting styles.
Mothers should bear in mind that the femalechild has the right to be born well and wants to have a wholesome family life.  She wants to be raised well to become a contributing member of the home and the society at large.
When you interact with them sometimes, you hear the kind of beautiful lives they want to live and achievements in future.   These can only manifest when the girl is put on the right path. The girl children dream big when the foundation is strongly built.
Basic needs of food, clothing and in fact, basic education are very important if our girls have to be comfortable. Sometimes, you hear them grumbling if their needs are not available.
It we must get it right, the female children must play when necessary and enjoy their youth.  We must protect them from danger because they are endangered species. When she falls into a prey, unwanted pregnancy can occur, so that is the reason why they must live in a peaceful and productive environment.
They must be cared for.  Freedom is very important but to an extent.
A mother must continue to nurture the girlchild till she becomes a woman. Nurturing should not be at the adolescent stage we are celebrating annually but should start from birth through infancy, pre-school age to the adolescent stage.
At the crucial age of 11-18, even up to 20 years, the girl needs to be under parental authority as against her own wish.
In this era of higher need of academic pursuit and technology, the girl must excel.  The girlchild must be moulded so as to be able to represent the parents well wherever she may find herself.
There are certain traits mothers need to know which manifest at the adolescent age. Some call it tempting age.  In a family where everyone goes to church together or in a family car, but the adolescents in the house will like to go alone to church.  A child who gets ready for school at 7am, suddenly stays in the bedroom till 7:30am and stands at the mirror for a couple of minutes and gets ready by 8am.  That shows that maturity is setting in with a lot of changes.
A good mother has to be calm, loving and caring considering that it is a stage of contradiction of likes and dislikes, hate, love, fear and trust.  If the foundation laid by mothers at the zero stage is solid, there will be mutual understanding.
Mothers must be careful at this stage because their reactions to changes may stop or hinder the girl or cause withdrawal.  The girlchild may also decide to run out of home.  In this case, mothers should use love to bring them back to reasoning because they become irrational sometimes.
When they begin to keep peers, mother must know whom their friends are.  Although it is a team work for both parents, mothers should play prominent role because they are supreme in the girlchild’s upbringing.
The mother’s lifestyle plays an important role in the child’s life, so, teaching them sex education early especially with technology available is crucial. With this, you create intimacy.
A woman should take it as a priority to let the girl know the reason why she should cover her sensitive parts of her body to avoid rape which may lead to unwanted pregnancy.

By: Eunice Choko -Kayode

 

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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