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Group Celebrates Christmas With Widows In PHALGA 

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It was a thing of joy for widows in Port Harcourt City Local Government Area (PHALGA) as Ogbakor Ikwerre California celebrated this year’s Christmas with them.
Christmas also called Yuletide, is a season set aside by Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. It is a season of love and it symbolises the exchange of gifts to the down- trodden, less privileged, widows as well as loved ones.
In the Holy Scripture, the birth of Jesus Christ was announced by an Angel in Luke 2:7-18, which brought joy, peace and salvation to mankind.
In the time past, it was learnt that three Middle Eastern Kings, named, Gaspar, Melchior, and Baltasar, popularly known as the “Three Wise Men”, who felt compelled by God and were led by a new star in the sky to go to Jerusalem,  brought gifts to the son of God (Jesus Christ), who was to be born.
Till date, God has often times continued to speak to man to be a blessing to one another, especially for the rich to help the poor in the society.
In line with God’s command, a group under the auspices of Ogbakor Ikwerre In The Diaspora has been complying to that command since 2014 till date.
Tuesday, December 20th, 2022,  the California representatives and their press crew here in Nigeria embarked on group mandate to celebrate 2022 Christmas with some widows in three communities namely: Rumukalagbor, Oro-Adasobia, Rebisi and Oroworukwo, all in Port Harcourt Local Government Area (PHALGA) through the distribution of some food items such as beans, rice, tin tomatoes, salt, groundnut oil and maggi to the widows.
First, they started with the distribution of food items in Rumukalagbor community, where the group representatives were received by the Chief of the community, the Nyenweli of Rumukalagbor Community, Nye Nweli  Chile R. Kalagbor, who introduced the widows to the Ogbakor Ikwerre in Diaspora representatives.  He charged the beneficiaries to maintain peace and remain hospitable to the visitors.
Chief Kalagbor expressed  joy, saying that the kind gesture by the group would go a long way to cushion the demands of these widows during the season.
He prayed and thanked the group for their benevolent acts of showing love through giving, stressing that they would never lack as the bible supports what they were doing.  He said: “It is better to give than to receive and since they are interested in giving, they will never lack anything good from God.”
Some of the beneficiaries appreciated  Ogbakor Ikwerre in the Diaspora for the show of love even when they had no hope from anywhere.
One of the beneficiaries, Mrs Scholar Chinda said: “This is just a surprise as I heard that our people in the California remembered the widows. Like I earlier said in Ikwerre Language, Exodus 22:22 says, whosoever afflicted the widow invokes the anger of God to rise. In other words, when you bless a widow you have a blessing attached to it.
“Since they are there and are remembering the widows by doing what  our husbands are supposed to do for us and because of death they are not able to do it again”.
“As they are feeding us, God will feed them over there, God will always make a way for them, the American land will favour them, will honour them. Their children will be useful and none of their girl children will be widow early, so we bless them, we appreciate them in Jesus name, Amen,” Mrs Chinda added.
Another beneficiary and one of the oldest among the widows, Mrs Comfort Robinson, also expressed joy and happiness to be alive to witness such a kind gesture by her own people and prayed in Ikwerre Language saying:  “God bless our daughters and sons in California for remembering us. God will remember them in their time of needs”.
Also a beneficiary, Madam Linda Goerge, representing her widow mother, who is sick said: “I thank them very much for what they did. For me I will say let God bless them for remembering the widows. May their pockets never run dry. May God replenish their pockets and whatever they lay their hands on to do, shall prosper in Jesus name, Amen”.
At Oro-Adasobia Community in Rebisi, Port Harcourt, the team was received by some chiefs, among them were Eze Nyenweli Amadi Worha;  Eze Okani Adasobia, the XII of Rebisi Kingdom, Chief Charles Dede and Chief Okechukwu Abbey.
Speaking to The Tide correspondent in an interview, Eze Nyenweli Amadi Worha said: “This is the first time we have witnessed what is happening here in the hall today. I remember when I was in the United States, this idea has never crept up into my mind.
“I take this opportunity with my fellow chiefs and Oro Adasobia in general to thank the California members, who are actually rooted from this part of the world and they are doing marvellously well to feed the hungry persons in our midsts instead of sending the hungry persons out without food”.
According to Chief Worha, “they have fed thousands, no matter how they started, I know tomorrow will be greater. My prayer is that let God Almighty keep, protect, preserve and save them”.
Also speaking, another Chief, Eze Okani Adasobia, the XII of Rebisi Kingdom, Chief Charles Dede, said: “I am very much impressed and so happy that our people in the disapora have such a kind gesture.
“This is the first time we are witnessing such a thing,  as such we pray for more grease to their elbow for them to have remembered that there are people here that need assistance, it will go a long way to help these poor ones, so I thank God for what they are doing”.
“I also pray that God bless them in the name of Jesus Christ, God should prosper the works of their hands. I’m  appealing to the people in the diaspora to assist in training some of the children of the widows, so as to reduce the high level of crime on the society”, he emphasised.
His words: “Also to the parents of these children that have gone hay wild due to lack of proper home and  educational training, that God is the husband to the widows as such should grease their efforts in whatever they lay their hands to do, so they are able to take care as well train their children properly”.
The crew went to Oroworukwo and were received by some chiefs as well and the same testimonies and appreciation were recorded.
Earlier, the Ogbakor Ikwerre, California representative in Nigeria and lead speaker, Dr Christiana Chukumati, stated that the gesture started since 2014 and has been up and running.
Chukumati explained that the team has visited several communities in four Ikwerre Local Government Areas namely, Obio/Akpor,  Emohua, Ikwerre and PHALGA, adding that their set goals and aspirations are to put some smiles on the faces of Ikwerre widows.
She stressed that the Ikwerre Widows’ Outreach Project has been up and running with other various projects such as scholarship to the less privileged ones in the society, skills acquisition programme for youths, medical outreaches, among others.
Even the press crew were not left out as they also benefitted from the gesture.  As a result, they expressed joy and pray that God continues to bless and keep those their bothers and sisters in California, so that they can continue to do more for the less privileged and down trodden in the society.
On her part, Pastor (Mrs) Constance Walker charged all the widows to see God as their husband and a great provider in time of needs.
Walker further charged them to look for something to do with their hands, instead of sitting at home doing nothing.
She emphasised that a struggling widow would always be respected by all in the society, adding that a lazy widow will wait for some irresponsible men to take them for granted which at the end will not give them the respect they had when their husbands were alive.
The woman of God charged them to seek God’s face and do things that would add positively to their lives.

By: Susan Serekara-Nwikhana

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Women

What Women Should Know In Marriage

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Every married person should be able to quit childish ways for a long lasting marriage.
Growing up in marriage means keeping the vows made during holy matrimony, obeying the rules guiding marriage. Love your spouse and treat him/her kindly. Growing up is being able to hold intelligent discussions with your partner.
Do not allow problems to make you expose your spouse in the public.
When married, you kick out childish behaviours. These days, you see a lot of people unable to manage their emotions well.
Do not take up relationship when you still think like a child. If you are not ready to take up responsibility, do not go into marriage. You may be having money or being financially buoyant, but maturity matters a lot. How you respond to issues matters a lot in your marriage. When arguments come up, it should not lead to a point where couples start destroying valuable items in the home.
Do not get angry all the time. Anger causes destruction in a home that might have been built for several years. Do not be like kids, who want to throw away toys when they get angry.
In marriage, the woman is responsible to the husband and the man should be accountable to the wife. Marriage requires new skills in communication if it will work well.
The woman needs to grow up to be able to manage the home. Managing the home is not a child’s play.
You have to build a home that will suit your taste. Sweet homes were built by people. When your spouse gets angry, you put yourself into his or her shoes. Showing empathy to each other will help to run the family smoothly.
Appreciating the woman who does all the house work alone is good. From childbearing through nurturing them till they become adults rest squarely on the woman.
Building formidable marriage is not just for two people but for everybody around them. The woman should care for her in-laws and others in her care. Treating other children like her biological children.
In marriage, treat your spouse better than you handle your phones. Priority should be given to your spouse instead of phones. Some women can get glued to their phones for a longer period instead of attending to their husbands. Activities in your phones should not take all your time as your spouse is more important than them.
Some men often complain about their wives’ addiction to their phones.
There was the issue of a woman that was accused by her husband about getting glued to her phone always and the reason she gave was that her husband was not coming home when he should come. She said as a result of that, she needed something to keep her busy.
Avoid the habit of sleeping with your phones. It is disrespectful when a spouse is talking to a partner and she is attending to a phone or internet. This is a habit women should work on as it is in many homes. Experts say that it leads to emotional gaps.
In marriage, communication is key. Communication must be a two- way thing. When a partner is talking, the other must respond and not just nodding his or her head.
Couples need to be together for bonding. Relationship with children is temporary while that with spouse is more permanent. When children grow up and get married, they will leave the home while husband and wife will live on forever. You see where husband and wife will be living in a big house.
A spouse should be able to accommodate eath other’s weakness.
Do you know that home is a person. Life can give you everything you desire but can be disastrous if there is no love.
Do not allow fear to rule you while trying to show love in building your home. A situation where you think that after building a home and it tears apart in future. This should be discouraged.
When you grow up in marriage, you build formidable marriage.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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