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Menopause : Coping With The Transition 

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Menopause, a universal reproductive phenomenon is of great concern to many women as they advance in age. This is as a result of insufficient knowledge and understanding and lack of available information to assist them and their families during the period of transition.  Menopause is the natural and inevitable part of a woman’s life. It is the end of a women’s menstrual cycle which inevitably marks the end of her reproductive years.
Naturally, women are born with all their eggs, which are stored in their ovaries. Their ovaries also make the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which control their period (menstruation) and the release of eggs (ovulation). Menopause happens when the ovaries no longer release eggs every month, leading to the stoppage of menstruation. Menopause is a regular part of aging when it happens after the age of 40.
However,some women can go through menopause early. This could be as a result of surgery or damage of their ovaries during cancer treatments and is known as premature menopause.
According to studies natural menopause is different in each woman and comes in three stages.  Perimenopause is the first stage which usually begins several years before menopause, the ovaries slowly make less estrogen and at this point stop releasing eggs. Many women at this stage start experiencing menopause symptoms.  Menopause is the second stage. This is one year after the menstruation has stopped. The ovaries have stopped releasing eggs and making most of their estrogen.  Postmenopause, the third and final stage happens years after menopause.  Menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes usually ease. But health risks related to the loss of estrogen increase as women get older.
In a medically reviewed study by Dr Gabriela Pichardo in June, 2022,she revealed that, most women nearing menopause would begin experiencing some array of what are called Vasomotor symptoms (VMS). The most common is hot flashes, sudden feelings of warmth that spread over the upper body, often with blushing and sweating. These flashes can range from being  mild in most women to severe in others.
Dr Pichardo added that, women may also notice uneven or missed periods, vagina dryness,sore breasts, leading to more  frequent urination, lack of sleep, emotional changes, dry skin, eyes and mouth. Other symptoms which develop later include, fatigue, depression, crankiness, racing heart, headaches, joint and muscle aches  and pains, weight gain, hair loss and changes in sex drive.
Other symptoms according to other researchers include facial hair increase, being angry /agitated /impatient or abusive, being teary or crying for no reason, reduced or enlarged breasts size, burning feet on “fire”, dizziness, increased appetite, leg cramps and restless legs, low self -esteem,” going crazy”, anxiety, poor memory, dyspareumia, post – menopausal bleeding and lack of energy.
Reports indicate that the most prospective mean age of menopause for women in the United States is 52 years. These ages stand in  contrast to the mean ages for menopause of 51 years for United Kingdom, 50 years for China,50 years for Japan,48 years for Nigeria, 47 years for Pakistan, 45 years for India and 44 years in the Philippines.
Reports also have it that there are particular cultural beliefs which impact on women’s understanding and reactions to menopause.  Widespread  in a belief that sexual intercourse would no longer be possible after menopause. That menstrual periods are considered to cleanse the body of semen. If women have intercourse after menopause it is believed that semen will remain in the body and produce stomach bloating and then death.
Consequently, lack of knowledge about menopause made some women misinterpret symptoms as signs of serious illness .
In different interviews with The Tide in Port Harcourt, some women in their 50s expressed their experiences concerning menopausal symptoms.
“I am 53  years old and Iam just experiencing menopausal symptoms. My period is irregular.  I feel heat most times all over my body which makes me uncomfortable and at times extreme cold and then few minutes later heat again. I discussed it with some people, they said it was menopause, that it is a phase that will pass”, said a civil servant resident in D/Line area of Port Harcourt.
Another respondent, a teacher in a government secondary  school in Iwofe area of Port Harcourt, Rivers State shared her experience.
“I know about menopause, so when I started experiencing the symptoms, I went to see a doctor to confirm. I was 45 years then and just had my last twin children. I experienced hot flashes from head to toe, hotness of body, restlessness, constant sweating like Iam pregnant, fever, body pains, irregular periods,low sex drive, eating different things like “esu” (nature chalk). Infact, I felt like I ate poison and needed cure. I went to the doctor and was diagnosed as adinomyosis and was given drugs.
Sharing similar experiences,another respondent, an estate surveyor based in Port Harcourt stated thus:
“I started experiencing menopause symptoms at 44 years.  I did not understand my body at first . I thought I was going crazy.  I experienced lack of concentration, restlessness, distractions, mild hot flashes, waist pain, increased stomach, weak teeth and bones, weaker eye sight, lack of interest in sex. Infact, I did not believe what was happening to me. I had to discuss the situation with an older woman who told me that it was menopause”.
Also, a staff in one of the media organisations in Rivers State told The Tide that:
“I noticed the symptoms at 47 years old, with hot flashes, especially in my breast area, hotness of body sometimes and cold shivers often times, low energy, infact holding a bottle of water was a problem, body pains, irregular periods, large appetite, fainting experiences, dizziness  and vaginal dryness.  I did not understand that it was menopause”.
The management and treatment of menopausal symptoms depend on each individual woman’s experiences. Studies have it that healthy living, herbal and complementary therapies are the solutions.
However, many women can cope with mild menopausal symptoms and do not need to take any medications or use therapies.  Some women may manage their symptoms well with lifestyle measures such as eating well and getting regular physical activity. Other women with symptoms that are affecting their quality of life will need to seek treatment to help them manage their symptoms.
Menopause is  a unique experience for all women, and a range of management options are available for the different symptoms including healthy living, menopausal hormone therapy or MHT, treatments to manage vaginal dryness. Non –  hormonal prescription medications and complementary therapies. Though some treatments are well supported by valid scientific research, it is important and advisable to see a doctor before you start a treatment.
Coping with menopausal symptoms can be helped by balanced and nutritional diet, exercise and relaxation.  Healthy weight is important  though some studies have suggested that exercise can reduce hot flashes.  Women should reduce intake of caffeine, alcohol  and spicy foods, stop smoking.  Rather, they should eat foods with phytoestrogens such as whole bean soy products, whole grains barley, brown rice), legumes (beans). To manage hot flashes, carry small hand fans, use water facial spray, have cool drinks available, wear layers of clothing so you can take off what you need to when you are hot. Meanwhile, reports have it that many women suggested that more information should be made available on menopause to prepare women, educate family members and help reduce negative connotations and family conflict, especially with their spouses during the period of transition,  since experiences by many women had it that a loss of libido was often misinterpreted by their partners  that they were having an affair.
Also, information should be passed on by mothers and grannies to daughters.
It is therefore, suggested that community education may have more benefit if directed towards men as well as women.
Also reported are, that most health workers, especially in developing countries lack adequate resources or understanding on how to approach the topic or give appropriate advice to women.
A Rivers State Government Matron/Nurse in an interview stated that she has worked  as a nurse with the primary health care management board for several years, there are no such programmes for women on menopause.
According to her, “basically we deal with women on child bearing age, the partners we work with have not come out with such programmes. However, government should partner with menopause associations to help women in the state,” she said.
In a related interview, a medical doctor who works in a government hospital in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, stated that in developed countries government encourages women to go for regular check of their reproductive system at least once a year,  free of charge or some on discounts . In Nigeria, a lot of women are not aware of the transition to menopause and its implications, because they are nonchalant about their health status. The doctors are overstressed and cannot help in giving talks to women about menopause at every given opportunity. Another worrisome issue is that, some women lie about their age, some even take ten years off their normal age, which is a problem.
However, since 2009, the International Menopause Society  (IMS) in collaboration with the World Health Organisation(WHO) has designated October 18 every year to be celebrated as World Menopause Awareness Day. The purpose of the day is to raise awareness of menopause and support options available for improving health and well-being of women as they age.
This is an opportunity for the Rivers State  Ministry of Health and the  Women Affairs counterpart to partner with relevant associations and groups to sensitise  women in the urban and rural areas in the aspect of understanding  menopause, its attributes, symptoms, management and healthy ageing.

By: Ibinabo Ogolo

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Women

Women Can Eradicate Child Abuse In Homes

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It is disheartening to note how in the 21st century, some women abuse the rights of both their children and wards. No day passes without getting information on how a child was beaten with an object or harmful substance used on a child for little errors that should not lead to provocation.
The role of women in
curbing child abuse can never be over-emphasised.  Mothers are the ones who nurture and groom their offsprings and wards whether, biological children or adopted.
It is necessary that any child who falls under the supervision of a mother, be responsible to that woman.
Shaping the life of a child depends so much on the mother, even if certain percentage of care is being expected from a father.  The mother starts nurturing a child from age zero till the adolescent stage.  She should always do a follow-up at every stage of development of every child in her care.
Within the period of growth, if there are negative tendencies exhibited by the child, the mother should be able to identify before the child goes to school. This is because the child starts learning from the home.
When you talk about child abuse, it starts from the home and the way every child is treated matters a lot.
The menace called child abuse is something that every hands must be on deck to ensure it is eradicated in the society. The major agent of eradication is the mother.
There are various forms of child abuse.  You may discover that for every form of the menace, the woman is involved and should be held responsible for its consequences.
Of course, it is clear that child abuse does not have any positive impact on the society except the perpetrators of the act.  Some persons derive joy in seeing either their own children or other’s children being denied their rights to accomplish their own goals.
According to UNICEF in 1989, child abuse is the portion of harm to children that results from human action or inaction  that is proscribed, proximate and preventable.
The African Network for the Prevention or Protection against Child Abuse or Neglect (ANPPCAN), looked at child abuse as the intentional, unintentional or well-intentional act, which endangers the physical, health, emotional, moral and the educational welfare of the child.
Broadly, it means maltreatment of a child. It is any form of action that brings about physical, mental, psychological and social torture to the child.
When you talk about child labour, which includes buying and selling, most times, a woman will intentionally send the child out for hawking with the aim of making money. A situation where a woman’s children will be in school and she finds pleasure in sending a house help out potends danger to that child.
Just recently, when pimary and secondary schools resumed for third term, a woman told her househelp to resume school one week after resumption, thereby dening her classes for the first week of resumption.
A woman should not send an adopted child out to the neighbourhood alone to fetch water when her own children are idle because her role is to protect every child in her care, whether biological or not.
When you talk about child trafficking, apart from children being in school, the mother should be aware of the location of the child at every time. Monitoring the children should be the watchword of every committed mother. When a woman is careless about the whereabouts of the child, that child can be picked up from any location without her knowledge.
A woman should not express anger on everything the child does at home.   A child/ward can be corrected for wrong doing without being battered.  It has been discovered in some homes that child battering has led to death or deformity of some children. A mother should know the kind of punishment a child deserves for correction.
An undergraduate teenage student who was housed by another woman because the student was unable to secure accommodation in the university had it rough with the woman that it got to a point where she slapped the girl during examination period. She never considered that maltreating her could affect her performance in the semester academic work.
No matter the level of provocation, you don’t slap a student who is writing examination.
Some women neglect their children by sending them to others for inability to provide basic needs in the home.  Every responsible woman should be able to have the number of children she can cater for.  While the child is in another woman’s house, no one knows how many meals he or she takes in a day.
Sending a child out for hawking, especially a female, signals danger to the girl.  That is a simple way of exposing her to sexual abuse.  Some irresponsible persons with the pretence of buying something from her can lure her into undesirable sexual abuse.  The danger in this is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and contracting of STDs and HIV/AIDS.
Most rape cases that have been recorded are as a result of sending a girl out to hawk.
There is no harm in asking children to assist in selling so as to make up in the home, but if they are to sell in a kiosk no matter how little it may be, a mother can monitor the children there.
A mother should know that giving a child under the age of 18 out for marriage is an abuse. Women must nurture the children to maturity before sending them out in marriage because the dangers of underage marriage are devastating. When an underaged girl is given out for any reason for marriage, it must be remembered that any consequences that arise from that will fall back on the mother.
A mother should not send her child or ward out for prostitution in order to make money.
Parents and guardians, especially mothers should be more educated and more awareness acquired on why they should pay more attention to their children and wards.

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The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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