Women

Mentoring The Girl-Child: A Mother’s Role

Published

6 years ago

September 21, 2018

In a layman’s understanding, a mother is that woman who biologically gives birth to a young child while the word “daughter” refers to a female child biologically given birth to by a woman. Motherhood goes beyond the idea of having one’s own child biologically. By adoption, a woman also becomes a mother of a child.
Thus, the moment a woman begins to undertake the training and upbringing of a child, irrespective of who he or she is, she becomes a mother. However, she could be referred to as a foster mother.
In today’s issue, we are very much concerned about what should be the ideal, standard relationship between a mother and the daughter.
Living amidst different homes and families, one watches with dismay the theatricals often displayed on daily basis by mothers and their so-called daughters, although there is no doubt that homes exist which understand what relationship means.
In many families, it was witnessed or discovered that mothers and daughters see themselves as rivals. A woman carries her daughter along to the point of maturity and from thence on she abandons her to her fate.
In such home, there is lack of confidence between the mothers and their daughters, so much that the daughters keep their feelings far from the understanding of their mothers, instead they confide in mothers outside their homes, and friends for solutions to their emotional problems.
The reason for this seeming frosty relationship, a seasoned family counsellor said, is because of the mothers’ initial actions towards their growing daughters. According to her, most women think that to instill discipline in a child is to create fear in her. So much that a child now fears her mother more than she fears her school teachers.
Every action of the child is greeted with shouts and scoldings, no time is spared to know the problems and feelings of a child in the house.
The result is that the child is resolved to suppressing and keeping her feelings to herself and pretending to be in good form all the time.
Come to think of it, at fifteen yeas of age, a mother ought to be seen as a friend, companion, mate and helper in her daughter. At this point the rod ceases to be the sole corrective measure.
Advice and sometimes polite rebuke could take the place of the rod. The child should be drawn very close to the mother to the point that she too begins to see the mum as her first friend and companion, in whom she could confide.
Mothers, from time to time, especially during kitchen time with their daughters, should initiate talks on issues that are regarded as no-go areas, this will help in great measure to bond them together.
The understanding word here is openness. The mothers should as much as possible be open to their daughters, initiate questions that will help find out certain information from them from which the children could be assessed as per their level of assimilation into the world.
On daily basis, it is the place of the mother to keep a close watch on the daughter and carefully query any strange behaviour from her, she too, must be given a sense of belonging by trying to provide and care for her so that no vacuum is created and so there will be no reason for a yearning to fill a vacuum outside.
As a matter of fact, no mother should create an impression that her daughter could be bettered by an external hand. No!
Instead the maintenance of any growing girl should top the priority of the mother for that is a major way of saving her from external influences.
Above all, no mother should hoard any vital information from the daughter, especially those that bother on life, and from time to time, create avenues for discussions on such life issues where she could be free to ask questions and no matter how silly the questions may pose. They have to be answered.
Mothers must always expose their daughters to good and evil but emphasis must be placed on the need to choose good and the implication of choosing evil.
If need be, create a big phobia in their hearts for evil acts so that they live to dread doing the wrong one.
The growing girl needs love, and this first love must come from her mother for it is what she gets from the mother she carries over to her own home. In due time, the mother has no reason not to be closer to her daughter.
Remember, closeness and openness are the key words in a standard mother-daughter relationship.

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

Women

The Wise Woman

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

2 days ago

April 26, 2024

The Tide

Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

Published

3 weeks ago

April 5, 2024

The Tide

A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.

Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.

According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.

The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.