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Daddy,Baby’s Bond: The Mother’s Role

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What can mothers do to help nurture a deeper connection between baby and hubby? Here are five everyday ways to help daddy and baby bond… think diapers, dancing and more:
Give them their space
After spending nine months carrying your child and ‘baby watched’ her day and night, it is natural to think “Mother Knows Best”: about everything! It is important however for you to understand that there’s no need to hover around your husband suspiciously all the time, ready to rescue your baby if she gets fussy in dad’s arms. It may be tempting, especially if dad isn’t up to speed (as most moms believe). In doing this, you are likely to wear down your husband’s self-confidence, and the result is that your baby won’t get used to being comforted by her dad – which will leave you without a moment’s peace.  Dads have a delightfully different way of relating to their babies – and their babies enjoy this difference. So (hey moms!) let them work things out on their own. It might be surprising (pleasantly) to find out all the fuss busters dads can muster up with absolutely no help from Mummy.  When given freedom, dads may start to develop their own rituals with their babies, like soothing car rides or some special rock-a-bye baby song. These tips should help mom to get father and baby closer.
Help them get a little closer
Go shopping together for a sling-type carrier, which puts a baby close to her daddy (and doesn’t have a lot of complicated buckles and straps).  Then encourage him to wear your baby in it often. This physical closeness is a very natural way for them to bond.  This is a time when a dad can really shine.  He can carry his baby around the house for some bonding time and exercise, while you take a nap or do something just for yourself.
Have Dad start from the bottom up
Your child will need thousands of diaper changes during the first few years, so why not make these hours count? Even just changing a few diapers a day is a great opportunity for bonding.  Encourage your partner to view diaper changing as  fun time with baby rather than simply a messy chore.  You’ll have more success with this if you don’t scold him for doing it “wrong”.  There may be a few messes at first, but in no time he’ll get it right.
Share feeding and sleep times
If you’re a combo-feeding family (as most Nigerians are) meaning both breast and bottle –encourage Dad to take bottle duty often.  Got a formulae-drinking bundle? Try to split feedings evenly. Then remind him that feeding should not be (or at least shouldn’t always be) an opportunity to prop the baby and bottle in one arm while reading the paper or changing channels with the other.  Let him see that a little bit of eye contact and some conversation (even a silly rhyme or some nonsense words) can go a long way.
Even if your baby is solely breastfed, your husband can get involved by adding the finishing touches.  When she’s done dinning, Daddy can help with the burp exercise.  Another idea:  When she‘s finished nursing and is getting drowsy, ease her off your breast and into Daddy’s arms. Once she gets used to him putting her to sleep when she’ll be more likely to accept him comforting her back to sleep when she wakes up- and, later, when she loses a beloved toy or falls scrapes her knee.
Daddy dearest goes on night duty
Mommies be honest: No matter how tired you are, it’s not easy to convince a dad who works days to spend his nights awake with the baby – especially if you stay home.  So strike a deal, during certain days of the week and weekends, let him feed and wean the baby at night.  After all, the peace and quiet of night time is a great opportunity for a dad and his baby princess to connect, even if they are both half asleep.
Adapted from www.parenting.com

 

Sylvia ThankGod-Amadi

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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