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Who Is An Ideal Mother?

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A mother carries her child
in her womb for nine months before she is delivered of it. This great sacrifice places the woman before her child as a perfect creature nature had ever witnessed hence, the loveliest and the most infallible. While it is very difficult to be the best of mother the society ever craves for, it is important to note that there are no fast and hard laid down rules on becoming the ideal mother. However , understanding one’s responsibility of instilling the best values in a child’s mind and bring the child up as a confident, happy and independent being remains paramount.
Therefore, an ideal mother is one who inculcates the best of family values in her children, she has tons of patience to put up with the childish tantrums and makes the child feel satisfied and happy without being over indulgent. She is the child’s best friend and is there for the child through thick and thin.
The role of a mother is a primary one for many, but not all women understand and act accordingly. Most mothers see motherhood as a major aspect of their personal and social identities, therefore, the media and culture place high value on being an ideal mother .
As a society, we are very quick to judge and condemn mothers whom we perceive as fulfilling their own needs at the expense of their children’s best interests.
Karl Jung stated that all humans are born with an innate capacity to recognize, seek out, and attach to a mother or mother figure to whom we look up to for safety, care and protection. No wonder children in the uterus (womb) recognise the mother’s voice  when born, they use the familiar voice to know who the mother is .
As this continues, the relationship between the mother and child becomes so close especially as the ideal mother takes good care of the child with great joy in her heart.
Every child believes automatically on the mother’s verdict than any other person who tries to advise him on certain situation hence, a child without an ideal mother has lapses. In that case, such a child can never be compared to a child well groomed by an ideal mother it is obvious that there is great difference between a child well trained by the mother than the father. A child trained by the mother had more advantages over the other child trained by the father because mother as a home builder, builds the child in all angles to be well behaved.
The mother’s role is widespread. The early attachment experiences between the ideal mother and child helps to shape the brain, and can affect the adult to self-regulate emotions into the adult years. Where, there is non corrective experiences, the reverse is the case such as insecure attachment and childhood trauma which of fan lead to drug and alcohol addition, academic failure and adult depression, as well as relationship problems.
Since mothers seem to have a profound influence on children’s long-term wellbeing. An ideal mother should therefore have her eyes fixed on the child at all times to understand what is happening around the child, knowing the child’s feelings and providing the child’s needs. Mother intention should be of good and not of evil, advising them and enjoying their company all the times.
An ideal mother is one who understands her role as a mother in the house, she occupies the most important position in the house. I see her as a blessing to everyone that comes around her. She loves everyone equally. She is a good companion in times of loneliness.
The ideal mother shares in a child’s worries, fears, successes and disappointments often times, she gives up parts of her own dreams, needs, wants for the wellbeing of the child she is raising. She does these out of love for the child.
A mother’s love for her child is primal, that is the strongest pull nature will make you feel for someone because survival of your kin is more important than anything else. No matter how ugly a child may look , she rather finds the child very beautiful because the child is part of her. ” Oh how painful it is without an ideal mother!”
These days it is a difficult task to see a worthy woman who can stand in the gap for the family in time of difficulties at home.
Women generally are made to be an embodiment of chastity, generosity cunning and intelligence but most of what we are seeing today is the opposite of what is supposed to be in life generally. A person must chose what he/she wants but in the case of a mother, she becomes a mother without knowing the child that is to be given birth to.
Everyone needs a mother to love, show affection and care as well as treat others with protection. Child likes to be loved especially when he/she is ill and this can only be achieved by the very first acquaintance the child makes in  life.
An ideal mother therefore teaches and correct the child, pointing out some mistakes in life that she wouldn’t want the child to fall victim of, such as having bad friends unnecessary chatting on phoneetc, giving the child the right advice is an attribute of an ideal mother.
An ideal mother comprehends the children easily than any one else in training, the mother incorporates for-bearance, longsuffering, perseverance, patience and composure.
An ideal mother is therefore found with the following good qualities which she transfer to her children. She is creative, attractive, confidence in herself. Confident is one of the best traits that a mother should have. This is one of the ideal mother’s ways of projecting what she is doing. Having every assurance and reflection of what she knows that she does not give a shit to what anyone else thinks.
There are pretty good grasp about what makes an ideal mother truly perfect. Considering this statement “no one is perfect” but to me some mothers are perfect when their advantages are more than their disadvantages. As humans, when our good deeds are more than the bad deeds we are considered good .
The first impression however is the attribute of attraction which leads to certain physical characteristics in a woman. Oh no ” beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Meaning beauty is a function of personal understanding.
A woman is naturally or inwardly attractive to a man before becoming a mother. The physical beauty of a woman is the natural attraction while the inward attraction is her reasoning and spoken ability in as much as the embedment of these is seen in a woman, she is attributed as a mother.
She never turns away a suppliant, she even possesses the wit to test her husband upon his return to the house at all times.
She remains faithful to her husband even when the husband has nothing doing to take care of the family. She does not allow her friends to understand those lapses in the house.
It is the duty of an ideal mother to as well mother her husband. Because behind every successful man there is a great successful woman ; also behind every great man is an even greater woman”.
A mother is the person who gives life to a child. A mother is the person who gives her life to raising of a child. A person who willingly accepts the burdens, responsibilities, heart-breaks and joys of raising a child. A mother is the person who takes commitment to hardwork of life, worry and the giving of one’s self for the best tomorrow of the child.
Don’t forget that she spends quality time with her children, teaches them etiquettes and mannerism creates a feeling of self-respect in them, listens to them very minutely, praises and encourages them profusely, teaches them to handle frustration, developed morality, and becomes their support system.
An ideal mother we need is the image maker of her husband, the family, the community and the state at large. If all mothers are in-deed ideal there will be a lot of elimination of criminality, violence, insecurity, addiction to drugs, unwanted pregnancies etc.

 

Dick Unwonawaji

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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