Women
Of Proper Parenting And Gender Inequality
Mothers breast-feeding their babies in Port Harcourt.
Shirley Chisholm, the
first African-American congresswoman in the United States has been a passionate campaigner against gender inequality.
She once said that: “the emotional, sexual and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says it is a girl.’’
Sociologists, therefore, note that Chisholm view point is a reflection of the current society that is characterised by historic unequal power relations between women and men.
They observe that with unequal power relations between women and men, otherwise known as patriarchy, women are systematically disadvantaged and oppressed.
They opine that it has become a common knowledge that certain domestic chores, particularly in Africa, are perceived to be the exclusive duties of the female folk.
According to a social critic, Godiya Makama, womanhood is reduced to a mere second-class position with the general belief that the best place for women is in the kitchen.
He opined that this had brought about tremendous misrepresentation of women right from the level of the family to the entire society.
“The Nigerian society is patriarchal in nature which is a major feature of a traditional society; it is a structure of a set of social relations with material base which enables men to dominate women.
“Women are therefore, discriminated upon, mistreated and perpetually kept as house-help. The average Nigerian woman is seen as an available object for forced marriage, street hawking, instrument of wide-range trafficking and a misfit in the society.
“Thus, the purported irrelevance associated with the status of women in society has merely reduced an average woman to an inferior commodity,’’ he observed.
Alluding to this sentiment, Mrs Olasunbo Odebode, a gender and development specialist in the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), said that women were the victims of social structures.
She, nonetheless, observed that with sensitisation and proper parenting, the stereotyped idea of giving more attention to male children was becoming unpopular.
Odebode said that parents should train their male children in handling domestic chores the same way the females would do.
She insisted that no law conferred an advantage on the male children over females in handling domestic chores and other roles in society erroneously believed to be exclusive to females.
Sharing similar sentiments, Ms Onyeka Onwenu, the Director General of the National Centre for Women Development (NCWD), called on parents to emphasise the need for gender equality in parenting.
She said that although women were naturally caretakers, they should be conscious of their rights and work hard against those barriers that limit them.
In her opinion, Mrs Jummai Idonije, the Director, Training and Development, NCWD, insisted that gender inequality began from childhood, reinforced by parents, peers, teachers, the media and the society.
“In the family, men assume or are assumed to be the primary bread winners with women’s income being seen as supplementary to that of men,’’ she said.
She said that although UN Charter in 1945 and its declaration of Human rights in 1948 recognised the principle of equality of men and women, women’s positions and concerns in the development process had not been fully addressed.
Corroborating this view point, Mrs Ngozi Okorie, an official of NCWD, said that gender equality under the law should mean equality of opportunity.
According to her, gender equality includes equal rewards for work and equality in access to human capital and other productive resources.
Okorie insisted that a repetitive use of gender stereotypes such as showing women only as careers of the family or as sexual objects should be stopped.
For total eradication of gender inequality, sociologists opine that it is important for gender education to begin in the family unit, schools and the wider community.
They insist that this will create awareness in the grassroots before moving the advocacy to national level for a better understanding of gender issues and gender equality.
They also note that if communities erase cultural superstitions, they will be able to see reasons why both sexes need to have access to quality education.
In their opinions, teaching about gender inequality should not be only in the schools in urban cities but also in the villages.
“Educating a female is like educating a family and the whole society, greater literacy rate among women would definitely boost the progress of any country.
“Providing moral education and protection against sex abuse will help to reduce gender inequalities in education sector,’’ they observed.
In all, observers believe that apart from tackling issues on gender inequality from parenting, governments at all levels should take appropriate measures to raise public awareness to discourage it.
Ogunshola is of the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN)
Femi Ogunshola
The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.
Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance, it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has, traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.
A woman needs a man that is honest, trustworthy, nice, loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money, it is always difficult.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy, at least helping to do one or two things. A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has. Traits of taking care of people, giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family, remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit. Don’t be a monitoring spirit. Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man. A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.
Eunice Choko-Kayode
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