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Dressing For The Wrong Reasons

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Modesty amongst men
and women is a natural instinct dating back to Adam and Eve who used fig leaf to cover their nakedness as recorded in the Bible. Not satisfied with the make-shift fig leaf aprons, God himself became the first dress-maker He further admonishes women to adorn themselves modestly and sensibly in seemly apparel and with a virtuous life. However in recent times, so much importance is given to the outward forms of beauty while the main aspect goes “unhonoured and unsung”.
Status symbols have never had more power than they have today because modern liberalism treats modesty as dull and unattractive. Thus, all sorts of names are given to the few who still struggle to appear decent such as Mary-Amaka, Juu-guy, Deeper-life, Holy-nwa-eje etc.
As social beings, we all want to be loved and accepted, to belong and to blend in. Thus, most people in a bid to belong allow the trend of things to set the standard for them. As a result, they lose their true identity and charm and become poor carbon copies of the famous beauties they initate and so end up more bewitched than bewitching.
Beauty is a tricky business. It changes from country to country, from decade to decade and from man to man. But despite this variation, every culture has an acceptable dress code. Any code that deviates from the acceptable set moral standard of the people is termed indecent. Indecent dressing has eaten deep into the fabric of the society. A keen observer will notice that it is now difficult to differentiate a man from a woman, a woman from a girl or an insane from a sane person. People dress any how they like all in the name of fashion. This unwholesome disease has negative sequences which may not be known to those who dress immodestly. It is in this light that this write up examines the causes and effects of indecent dressing and suggests ways to uproot it from the human society.
Clothes reflect the aspirations and psyche of the wearer. Clothing no matter how artfully designed, how fashionably styled must always be judged on the basis of its relationship to the wearer. There are clothes for various occasions namely,’ office, wedding, dance, party or informal get-together etc. Thus, some clothings are inappropriate for some occasions, place, time and age while some are. Any pattern of dressing that does not put this into consideration and that is also likely to shock or offend people is termed indecent dressing.
Your dressing can shock or offend people when parts of the body that should be covered such as the breasts, thighs, buttocks, back, armpit etc are unduly exposed or when your dressing unduly reveals your figure or body parts or when your dressing reveal your under-wears i.e. the bra, pants, singlet etc. Again, indecent dressing is not restricted to clothes, there are also indecent hair styles, make-ups foot wears etc.
Most people accept hook, line and sinker all they see around. They trust their fashion magazine implicitly and so are easily swept off by the fashion in vogue all in the bid to be beautiful. Thus, when the issue of indecent dressing is raised, modern liberalism immediately invokes liberty of conscience and advances all kinds of false arguments such as,
·  What is wrong with what I am wearing? (something is wrong because the opposite sex can be provoked by your exposed body).
·  Those who see me this way are not forced to sin (your indifference can coax others into sin).
·  Every other person dresses this way (you should not be like others. Every human person has the freedom, privilege and duty to pursue virtue).
·  I do not mean to do evil (yes but you can send the wrong signal with body language),
·  I feel I should be in style and up-to-date (moral law does not change with style and popular taste),
·  There is no universal standard for modesty (there is, consult the accepted ethical norms of your people),
·  I refuse to be a bigot and hypocrite (there is nothing false about being decent).
·  Men want me this way (one day you will render an account to God not to your husband or boyfriend).
·  Beauty is supposed to be seen (yes but beauty may be living or dead. Living if it attracts souls to goodness not evil)
·  It is the heart that matters (yes but Christians are meant to be light of the world).
·  But I feel hot (the same people who dress scantily to church and other sacred places because of  heat, dress modestly to the law court and other civil offices)
·  There are bigger problems and bigger evils than this (yes but evil is evil).
·  One can sag responsibly (there is nothing responsible about sagging).
Some examples of indecent dressing for females include, all types of scanty wear such as, spaghetti tops, sun-suits, off shoulder; all types of ostentatious or over ornamented wears such as bum-shorts, knickers, body hugs, miniskirts, tight fitting slacks or jeans, sheer and transparent outfits, low waist(sagging),  off-colour hair-dos, heavy make-ups, artificial nails or eye lashes etc. And for the males, earrings, tight fitting T-shirts and jeans, braiding, permed hairs, plaited hairs, shirts or any wear revealing the arm pit for male, low waist etc. Others are some beauty enhancement therapies such tattoos, breast enlargement or reduction, facial up lift, hip enlargement, tummy trunk etc.
In recent times, virtue is sadly on the verge of extinction. There is total lose of the sense of the sacred. People dress any how even to Church and sacred places. It is unfortunate that most people  who suffer from identity crisis copy all sorts of  fashions introduced  by  fashion designers. They forget that every action we take has either a positive or negative effect on our family and the society in general.
Indecent dressing can  sexual harassment, rape, unwanted pregnancies, ritual killing, acid bathe, road accident, lying, stealing, etc. This is because since the original sin, appetite for sex in all men and women is not always subject to direct control of the will and intellect. This appetite is so powerful that it does not take much to arouse the desire of the procreative faculty. As a result of this weakness it is imperative to safeguard virtue by dressing modestly in strict justice and charity. A keen observer will easily notice the high rate of sexual promiscuity among the youth. Incest is now even common in the society. These evils are possible because you are addressed the way you dress.
On the other hand, modesty in dress helps safeguard the virtue of purity and is demanded by the mortal laws of God. Decent dressing depends 6n good taste and good judgment. which is defined as a refined look, leaning more towards the conservative and simple than a flamboyant spectacular look. While good judgement is self-awareness i.e. a clear picture of whom and what you are, your goals in life, your values and beliefs as well as the accepted ethical norms of your culture.
Thus, decent dresses in a typical African society have sleeves extending to at least the elbows (or quarter-length sleeves because of impossible market conditions) and skirts reaching below the knees. Decent dresses require full coverage for the body, chest, shoulders and back and conceal rather  than reveal the figure of the wearer. Women and girls who follow these standards will have no problem of modesty in dress.
The problem of indecent dressing requires an integrated approach because of its manifold causes and effects. To curb the menace of indecent dressing in the society, parents should serve as role models. They should by words and examples emulate the virtues of modesty and chastity. A mother who dresses decently can easily inculcate it in her children and vice versa.
Civil and religious laws should be enacted and enforced by the government and all relevant agencies to check the abuse of indecent dressing. Churches and religious bodies should go an extra mile to champion this cause.

 

Marie C. Obasi

A typical example of indecent dressing

A typical example of indecent dressing

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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