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Women

‘Sagging Is An Irresponsible Way Of Dressing’

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Tammy Clarizza, popularly called Tammy Abusi is a dynamic
multi talented lady; who amongst her many skills, loves to build lives and put
smiles on the faces of people especially the helpless.

She is the CEO of Rolling “b” Production Limited and Miss
Blossom Beauty Services.

A mother of two, Tammy Clarizza tells the story of her
childhood, her ministry, the Messy Ms Mysteries as well as her view on the
vogue.

What could you remember about your childhood?

Oh! my childhood, growing up as a child for me was very
blissful. I grew up in Ibadan; I had my mum and dad. I would say I had
everything going for me as a child. I didn’t really have an ugly childhood
because my parents were fairly rich. My dad could afford the basic things that
any child could desire in today’s society.

The only thing for me, about my childhood that is a bit
confusing was that I was in a catholic primary school but we were Anglicans. So
I was mixed up, from Monday through Friday I was a catholic and then Saturday
and Sunday I was an Anglican. So, I didn’t quite understand each time we came
to church on Sunday, the prayers offered and the songs they sang, conflicted
with the ones I recited at school Mondays through Fridays and at a time, I
didn’t really have that bond with my parents, we didn’t have that kind of
relationship most children have as in walking up to mum or dad to ask questions
on issues bugging one’s mind and so growing up as a child I had to stomach all
of those I had to just stay in that confusion and I grew with it.

The conflict in religious doctrines did it in any way affect
your development?

Well to an extent I would say yes. Though after I had
finished my primary school, I didn’t have anything to do with the Catholic
Church again of course that was the formation years of my life and I had
understood the basic things about the catholic religion.

My prayers were a bit muddled up but thank God for God
because he understands us. I prayed, I said the “Hail Mary” even though I was
an Anglican and I tried to read the rosary and it wasn’t making sense and then
I started learning the Anglican confession and all of that.

However, as a teenager when I got into the secondary school
I guess I found my footing and the S.U, (Scripture Union) thing was on and I
became an SU member, that was another dimension of Christianity and I just felt
I should stick to this one and try and make some good out of it and somehow I
was able to stablise.

What is this idea of Messy Ms Mysteries all about?

Messy Ms Mysteries is a ministry, a calling borne out of my
passion and personality. As a person I love the entertainment world and I began
to understand that God needed me to impact lives in that area. And because of
the peculiarity of my person, he needed me to do something very different.

Messy Ms Mysteries is simply the mystery of God in the mess
of a Ms.

Now I say this because at a time in my life I became lonely,
rejected and felt abandoned and just needed God to put things back in place for
me. Of course I got married ’94 and by ’98 my marriage crashed and I was all by
myself thinking I had lost everything.
Of course I had a son then and I just needed God to sought my life out
and in the midst of all of that, He began to speak to me, and showed me his
grace. Ofcourse I delved into all kinds of things within that period.

God reassured me and said “in this mess you have found
yourself, my mysteries can still be unveiled and that was what gave birth to my
ministry so basically it is a ministry that is not popular in the sense that we
don’t handled the regular things that you hear people talk about in churches
and other set-ups.

So, How Does This Ministry Function?

We encourage people that are lesbians not to continue
instead we let them know that God is against it and that they can actually come
out of it no matter how difficult it may pose to be. We talk to the
prostitutes, we talk to women; single mothers precisely, separated women,
victims of rape and those who are lonely, who need a shoulder to lean on and
cry to, alcoholics and different people that are not very popular in the
society. These are the kind of people God has called us to attend to and by his
grace, we are doing the much we can.

What is your experience in the ministry?

Of course you know that when you delve into things like
this, those are the areas that the devil would want to try you as a person. I
wouldn’t say it’s been very rosy, but the grace of God has been sufficient.

Over time, God proves to me again and again that it is what
he will have me do. The truth is that every single individual I encounter, in
the cause of my life, I run a multi level marketing consultancy, and I tell
you, most of the people that come around me may have the original intention of
doing business with me but they end up doing ministry with me. I just realize
that in every function I found myself, young girls gravitate towards me.

I also realize that people that are hopeless are the ones
that come around me.

My office is my church, my home is my church, I don’t have a
particular building for my ministry, but I house people I don’t know their
identities, strangers both male and female. So, everything I do in my life, God
uses it to confirm his calling in my life.

I’m optimistic that someday, sometimes, we are going to have
a building where we can house every person and minister to both their spiritual
and physical needs.

So far, what are the programmes executed by your ministry?

This is the 7th year of the ministry, it was inaugurated in
2005, I run programmes from time to time, I’ve had conferences, I have also had
offshoots of our ministry, eg: Miss Blossom Beauty Pageant, a pageant that
started in 2009. We call it “Mentoring the girl-child.”

You know the pageantry has been abused; people now use it as
a way of indecent exposure and all of that.

So in 2009, I began to look at that area of ministry because
if you look at pageantry it actually started from the Bible, it was the process
through which Esther emerged Queen in the bible and God began to speak to me
that these young girls need to be mentored. So, we run the pageantry we don’t
do the Bikini. We try to teach them how to dress decently.

We also bring fashion designers together, we make them
interprete their fabrics in a decent way. For those that don’t know Christ we
try to get them born again in camp, we bring in multivational speakers as well
as undertake career counseling and at the end of the day a queen emerges.

This queen works with us in the ministry, we go to secondary
schools to talk to girls about sex, relationship, how to choose their friends,
their expectations, emotions and things like that.

You’ve just mentioned your involvement?? with
fashion designers, what exactly is fashion?

Fashion is a general term that people.

You’ve just mentioned your involvement with fashion
designers, what exactly is fashion?

popularly used for a trend, it could be clothing, shoes,
make-up. It is seasonal. In short, it is a general term.

As for me, I think fashion is relative to the person
involved.

Is everything en vogue fashionable?

Of course everything en vogue must not be fashionable and
when you talk about people trying to key into the vogue, I think there is a bit
of  challenge there. For me it has a
little question on the person involved.

Like the guys for instance, when you talk about the way they
were their trousers, “sagging” is a very irresponsible way of dressing if you
ask me, and they call is fashion so what are we talking about, they are trying
to emulate somebody of course somebody starts a fashion and they want to be
like that person. So for me, it is a question on your character, it means you
are not an individual of yourself.

You don’t have a personality of your own and you try to want
to use this fashion to become something so that people will take note of you
that’s the way I see it.

Does your fashion
define your person?

Of course there is a popular saying that  you are addressed by the way you are dressed.
But for those who just want to identify with the vogue, for me that’s a bit
shallow. It is not because I don’t wear what others wear but I feel it is not
compulsory at the instance of the fashion.

Sometimes they might say short skirts are en vogue and
everybody is crazy about it. At that time for me it is not fashionable because
everybody is doing it. But I could have an event where I think oh1 I think I
need to wear something short, with a high shoe and I go ahead and wear it.

Do you think that what you wear has any impact on the
upcoming generation?

Ofcourse definitely, if you are a known person, it is only
natural that people look up to you and when you dress or carry on in a
particular way, people want to believe that, that is what is right because they
see you as a symbol and they believe that whatever you do is what ought to be
so definitely people will look up to you for that.

What’s your advice to known names in the society?

Well I would say that people who have made names in the
society should try to be moderate and know that there are a lot of young people
that are looking up to them ofcourse I know that there are different
professions which also determine fashions like those in the entertainment
industry, there is a particular way they believe they should dress depending on
what they are trying to portray and the kind of image that they stand for. In
all, I think moderation should still be applied.

Seven Years Down The Line, How Would You Assess The Impact
Of Messy Ms Mysteries?

The impact of my ministry I would say, is basically what has
kept me going, it has given me hope and fulfillment. As an individual, I have a
lot of challenges ofcourse I have my children that I tend for, the financial
challenges of my business and that of my extended family, but these young girls
and ladies that have come in contact with me within this period, I have seen
people that literally could not stand to talk before three persons, they have
become presenters. I have seen hopeless young girls, today they are standing
and they are able to say this is who I am. I have seen young girls who have
metamorphosed in my eyes and become some bodies because they came in contact
with me. I have indeed seen God in action in these seven years.

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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