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Women

Understanding Gender-Based Violence

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The gender based violence is a type of violence which occurs
in all society of the world, within homes and wider community that involves
girls and women disproportionately.

Some of this gender based violence includes rape, commercial
sexual exploitations, domestic violence and female genital mutilation.

The world we live today is characterized with violence
against women. And this is displayed in many forms like wife battering, sexual
assault and abuse, female genital mutilation and rape. Gender based violence is
now the fate of millions of women in the world and these affect their
productivity both in homes, community and state.

Domestic violence is when a man beats his female partner and
the most common form of gender based violence, and this happens within the
families.

Violence within the general community includes rapes,
battery, rape, and sexual assault, forced treatments and the exploitation and
commercialization of women’s bodies, the social exclusion of women in some
parts of the world in general and the purdah system in the northern part of
Nigeria.

Gender-based violence is a universal reality existing in all
societies regardless of income, class and culture. You can never find a woman
who in one time or the other has not been afraid or gone through the gender
based-violence and those who are particularly vulnerable to this violence are
those who lived in extremely precarious conditions or who are discriminated on
the basis of race, language, ethnic groups, culture, age, opinion, religion or
also women who are displaced, migrants, refugees or those living under foreign
occupation.

The world health organization (WHO) estimates that at least
one of every five female population has been physically or sexually abused at
some time.

Gender based violence affects both physical and
psychological integrity of women. It can affect cognitively and
inter-personally.

The UN General Assembly, in adopting the 1993 declaration on
elimination of violence against women defined gender based violence as any art
of violence that results in physical, sexual, or psychological harm or suffering
to women; including threat of such acts, coercion, or arbitrary deprivation of
liberty, whether occurring in public or private life. (Population Reference
Bureau 2001 pg 3).

Women are vulnerable to this violence at all stages of life.
They are threatened by female infanticide, incest, child prostitution, rape,
partner violence, psychological abuse, sexual harassment and harmful
traditional practices such as forceful marriage.

Gender based violence within the state include physical,
sexual and psychological violence and are most times perpetrated or tolerated
by the states that priorities custom or tradition over the respect of
fundamental freedom. The social exclusion constitutes a new form of apartheid.
Women are considered second class beings or less valued, deprived of their
fundamental rights.

Types of gender based violence include commercial sexual
exploitation, rape, female genital mutilation or female genital cutting.

My emphasis is the female genital mutilation; the female
genital mutilation is a traditional practice which involves cutting or altering
the female genitalia as a rite of passage or for other socio-cultural reasons.

(Mohammed, Ali and Yunger 1999). (According to Population
reference Bureau 2000) the female genital cutting is practice in 28 African
countries and in about 20 Middle Eastern Asia nations.

Mugenzi (1998) added that FGC is an act of controlling women
sexually. The practice is seen as an impediment to a girl’s sexual enjoyment.
It varies from partial or total removal of genitalia to the narrowing of
virginal opening. Some traditional practitioners who do not have medical
training perform majority of the female genital cutting and most times the
victims suffer or experience intense pains, bleeding, painful menstruation, infection
or trauma. The practice according to doctors can also be associated with the
spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS through cuts and abrasions in sear
tissue, during intercourse and child birth. It is also associated with lack of
orgasm and sexual gratification and depression. Most women who go through FGC
have serious health consequences such as shock, pains, infection, injury and
the adjacent tissue and organs.

The effect of gender based violence could be devastating and
long lasting.

It is a heavy burden for women of ages 15, is as that of
HIV, tuberculosis and during child birth, cancer and heart diseases.

The fourth world conference has adopted a platform for
action which declares violence against women is an obstacle to the achievement
of object of equality, development and peace

Bekinbo is a student of RSUST, Port Harcourt.

 

Favour  Igbikis Bekinbo

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Women

The Wise Woman

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The wise woman builds her home. Mothers are supposed to live exemplary lives. The roles of mothers in the building of the modern Christian home cannot be overemphasized.
The function of the mother is to help the man build the home. She is a helper. A helper to the husband when the man is not doing well. It is important for the wise woman to assist when the man is not able to meet up with the items needed in the home.
A wise woman needs to reference God first and then the husband. Also the wise woman should respect her husband.
Caring for her own children as well as others is very crucial.
Do not despise children from other mothers. Discipline the child who is going the wrong way.
Ensure family bonding, show love and don’t discriminate. Connection with children is very important, especially the females. Find out who is her friend. Also find out the kind of lives they live. Caution, counsel and guide so that they make good partners.
Teaching children the dos and donts should start from birth. Inculcate the word of God in them so that when they grow, will not depart from it.
From the Scripture, some women influenced their families positively. Virgin Mary influenced the world, she never destroyed herself hence she gave birth to Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth, despite her age, God blessed her as she waited patiently.
A wise should curb favouritism in the family and love children equally. Whether a child is your biological child or not, it is necessary to show love equally. Reprimanding the children should be the function of both man and wife.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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Marriage is beautiful when there is love. Before and after marriage, couples show love to themselves. But you discover that after some years, that same love turn to be something else. A lot of people start going through emotional trauma in the hands of their loved spouses.
There are many things the woman desires to keep the love on as far as marriage is concerned.
Women are blesssed with feminine abilities that can be used for good in husbands lives. With your abilities, you can create a marriage that will last till couples get old.
A woman needs
man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, if there is no reasonable finance,  it is always difficult to manage the home.
Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3: “Your desire  shall be unto you…….. “
What this means is that whatever the woman desires in life shall be provided as far as she performs her role in her home. There are many things  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things when he is at home.
A man that is educated and intelligent so that they will transfer such traits to their children.
Knowing that there are traits that her husband has,  traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family. She expects him to exhibit them.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
No matter where he finds himself, he is not destracted by external influence. He returns home to his loved ones.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.
According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that a woman builds her home. As far as he rreturns home, you accept him as your own.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband. The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.
You can show some form of jealousy, but to an extent. Cooperation, respect and being honoured from time to time is what the woman desires.
The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

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Women

The Desire Of Every Woman In Marriage

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A woman needs a man that is honest,  trustworthy,  nice,  loving and financially stable.
There are no two ways about finance in marriage. No matter the level of love, If there is no money,  it is always difficult.


Referring to the Biblical belief in Genesis 3:Your desire  shall be unto you……..
That is one aspect  the woman expects her husband to take care of.
A woman wants a husband that is not lazy,  at least helping to do one or two things.   A man that is educated and intelligent.
She knows that there is a trait that her husband has.  Traits of taking care of people,  giving freely to people and caring for her family.
A woman wants to love a husband that has family interest at heart. A man that spends time with his family,  remembering his family even as he is away from home.
A woman should not antagonise her husband because of one error or the other. No matter the level of offence he may have committed, you still show some love.


According to the Scripture, it is with wisdom that the women builds her home.
It is not as if the woman will not monitor her husband, but to certain limit.  Don’t be a monitoring spirit.  Don’t allow anything to take your joy.
Don’t loose trust in your husband.
The idea of checking your husband’s phone should be discouraged. The more you check your husband and his phone, the more you loose your joy.


The home should not be a battle ground for a woman and man.  A woman should be able to ask herself if the check on her husband will pay her any good.
Draw a line to a point where you checkmate your husband’s activities.
A woman wants a man that will love her and telling her you love her will be all she desires.

Eunice Choko-Kayode

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